Atlast83

The closer the day gets, the more anxious I become. 10 days and I will be On my way to a new life. I keep a diary of all my letters to god. Every prayer, every thanks, or when I want to express myself to the man above I simply write it down. Well, as the year is coming to an end I decided to look through my last letters to God and I truly believe this operation is heaven sent. I never realized the pain all this weight was causing me. On a mental level! Of all my prayers, 85% of them were about my weight and me almost complaining to god that he has not answered me. His word says "if you remain in me and my words in you, ask whatever you wish and it shall be given unto you". Well I asked him to help me lose weight. Literally with those words. I didn't know how I was gonna do it, but I trusted god, and though some critics may call it the easy way out, for some of us it was the only way out. Some may not be spiritual, but very surely I tell you, there is a god! Ive prayed and saw my prayers answered time and time again. I've been able to accomplish and do things I could not have done in my own strength and will. I no longer worry about what will happen 10 days from today because as long as I know the man above is the force behind it, nothing can possibly go wrong.
 
My praises will never cease! On my way to a new me!!!!

Today is post op day 18 and I am over it! I really have not attempted to eat anything today because my relationship with food is now so complicated. Before you put one single pice of food in your mouth you must go through a series of questions. On top of everything else you need to remember to take your vitimains and manage to get 64ozs of fluids down. I know I signed up for this but I had no ideal i would be so hard. :wub:
 
Date of surgery weight: 260
Date od surgery: 11/06/12
Weight today: 238
Age: 29
Mood: regret for putting myself in the situtation
Workout: 30 mins/2.2 incline 6 calories 205
 
Today I had to premire protein shakes at 30g of protein each and about 30oz of water so far.

So today is post op day 15. I did not get much sleep last night therefore i slept a large portion of the day. I still have a little soreness from the procedure so I'am going light on the exercising. Mentally I feeling ok but I must admit I miss eating alot. I guess I never thought that I would miss the act of eating and drinking so much. I know this sounds so bad but sometimes I just wish I could just chew some food.
 
Exercise:
30 minutes cardio: speed 2.2, incline 7, calories burned 303
50 sit ups
10 girl push ups
 
Food/liquids:
30 oz of plain water
11 oz (2) Priemier Protien chocolate shakes ( each 11oz shake contains 30g of protien 160 cals, and 1g sugar)
3 oz of pureed marie calender chicken pot pie
1 oz sugar free popsicle
 
Things I plan on working on tomorrow: being more active and not laying in bed all day and trying to get all 64ozs of fluids down.
 
Surgery date 11/06/12
Starting weight 260
Current weight 239

Today is post op day 21. So I went back to work today, and I am beat. I guess I am kind of
shocked that I am so tired since my job is mainly sedentary. I did find having lunch was a
little awkward because I normally have a premier protein shake for lunch. I did manage to eat a couple bits of grilled chicken so for dinner I will have a shake. I am still having problems with getting 64oz of liquids down so if you have any suggestions please let me know. Surprisingly I had a couple of people notice that I have dropped 24 pounds. The recognition really made me feel good!
 
Keep up the Good fight!

Today is post op day 21. So I went back to work today, and I am beat. I guess I am kind of
shocked that I am so tired since my job is mainly sedentary. I did find having lunch was a
little awkward because I normally have a premier protein shake for lunch. I did manage to eat a couple bits of grilled chicken so for dinner I will have a shake. I am still having problems with getting 64oz of liquids down so if you have any suggestions please let me know. Surprisingly I had a couple of people notice that I have dropped 24 pounds. The recognition really made me feel good!
 
Keep up the Good fight!

I wasn't a particularly heavy child. Which is funny for me to realize, because I remember always thinking of myself as plump. The very first time I remember being aware of weight and body shape I was 6. I was friends with a very slim girl named Lisa, who had straight stick legs. Even at 6 my legs had a bit of shape to them, and some stray comment made me aware of this difference, in a negative way.
 
I went on with my childhood, being relatively unselfconcious about anything to do with my size until about 5th grade (age 11) which is when I started to develop. By this time I was definitely one of the thicker girls - not really anything you could even call pudgy, but there was definitely more of me then some of the slight little things in my classroom. And that's when I started having the self-defeating thoughts that would eventually lead me to be 300lb.
 
I remember very clearly being 12 and walking to the freezer for a second popcicle and pausing to think "hey, you just had a popcicle, do you really need another one?" and then immediately, like an evil pixie sat in my brain thinking "you're already fat, there's no point - why not just have the stupid treat". And from that moment on it was like a switch had been thrown. I didn't eat to try to gain weight, but what was the point in trying to moderate myself, I was clearly destined to be fat - so I might as well enjoy the journey. So I didn't. I weighed 200lb by graduation, and 220 by the time I got married right after college. 270 by the time I had my baby at 26. And then I was good, I didn't gain weight for close to 5 years. I didn't loose either, but hey - who's counting?
 
But something else changed. I had always thought I was ok with my size. I mean, I would prefer to be thin but why be upset about things you can't change right? But slowly I realized all the ways my weight limited me. Slowly I realized how embarrassed I really was by my size. Slowly I realized all the little things I had compromised on, so that noone would ever point out to me my size. Things like never admitting I liked a boy in school, because why would I dare to think someone might find me attractive? Or not taking care with my clothes/makeup because what was the point in looking like you tried when you were just going to be fat in the end? There are other examples, but those are the clearest. These weren't things I did, or realized I did, they were just who I was and it really started to bother me. I needed to make a change, but how?

So today is post op day 15. I did not get much sleep last night therefore i slept a large portion of the day. I still have a little soreness from the procedure so I'am going light on the exercising. Mentally I feeling ok but I must admit I miss eating alot. I guess I never thought that I would miss the act of eating and drinking so much. I know this sounds so bad but sometimes I just wish I could just chew some food.
 
Exercise:
30 minutes cardio: speed 2.2, incline 7, calories burned 303
50 sit ups
10 girl push ups
 
Food/liquids:
30 oz of plain water
11 oz (2) Priemier Protien chocolate shakes ( each 11oz shake contains 30g of protien 160 cals, and 1g sugar)
3 oz of pureed marie calender chicken pot pie
1 oz sugar free popsicle
 
Things I plan on working on tomorrow: being more active and not laying in bed all day and trying to get all 64ozs of fluids down.
 
Surgery date 11/06/12
Starting weight 260
Current weight 239

So today is post op day 15. I did not get much sleep last night therefore i slept a large portion of the day. I still have a little soreness from the procedure so I'am going light on the exercising. Mentally I feeling ok but I must admit I miss eating alot. I guess I never thought that I would miss the act of eating and drinking so much. I know this sounds so bad but sometimes I just wish I could just chew some food.
 
Exercise:
30 minutes cardio: speed 2.2, incline 7, calories burned 303
50 sit ups
10 girl push ups
 
Food/liquids:
30 oz of plain water
11 oz (2) Priemier Protien chocolate shakes ( each 11oz shake contains 30g of protien 160 cals, and 1g sugar)
3 oz of pureed marie calender chicken pot pie
1 oz sugar free popsicle
 
Things I plan on working on tomorrow: being more active and not laying in bed all day and trying to get all 64ozs of fluids down.
 
Surgery date 11/06/12
Starting weight 260
Current weight 239

So today is post op day 15. I did not get much sleep last night therefore i slept a large portion of the day. I still have a little soreness from the procedure so I'am going light on the exercising. Mentally I feeling ok but I must admit I miss eating alot. I guess I never thought that I would miss the act of eating and drinking so much. I know this sounds so bad but sometimes I just wish I could just chew some food.
 
Exercise:
30 minutes cardio: speed 2.2, incline 7, calories burned 303
50 sit ups
10 girl push ups
 
Food/liquids:
30 oz of plain water
11 oz (2) Priemier Protien chocolate shakes ( each 11oz shake contains 30g of protien 160 cals, and 1g sugar)
3 oz of pureed marie calender chicken pot pie
1 oz sugar free popsicle
 
Things I plan on working on tomorrow: being more active and not laying in bed all day and trying to get all 64ozs of fluids down.
 
Surgery date 11/06/12
Starting weight 260
Current weight 239

Had a pretty busy two weeks and so got a lil behind in my blog. Took me off my good eating habits too so have to bring that back on track. All in all though has been a pretty good past two weeks weight loss wise...I have also set more goals for myself. I am starting a training schedule for a half marathon as I committed to run my first one on June 01, 2013. Having goals like this keep me on target. Not only does it keep me focused to work out but also keeps me eating right as I do not want to erode my hard work with bad food choices. I have run into a few folks on the forums that are steadfast believers that working out does not speed up weight loss and they may be right...However, I am not just going for skinny I am going for healthy and fit. Working out is part of my overall healthy lifestyle and it sure doesnt hurt to realize the toning payoffs I am getting from working out. I also know there will be a time where the weight loss settles out and I want to make sure that exercise is apart of my life so that the weight doesnt find itself back.
 
Now for the NSV's that I experienced over the last two weeks. The first one was an underhanded compliment...almost insult but crazy enough it made me feel so darn good...I posted a pic on FB and pretty soon I got a call from a relative. He first said that cannot be you in the pic...I of course said it was and he said you are so darn skinny...If I did not know any better I would swear you on crack because you lost so much weight so fast...Uh yeah..(he doesnt know about the surgery)...I laughed so hard..and got tingles because while I am not skinny I feel skinny as compared to where I was...2nd NSV was I was out on the town the other weekend and saw an old friend and he didn't speak. I am was wondering what was up...Well he finally came to me after a bit and said Helga I did not recognize you...You lost so much weight...You look damn good...Oh why thank you...And the third NSV was I had to buy new belts and bras I was on the last loop of all my belts before surgery. Now even the last loop on the belt is too loose so had to get another one. My bras are no longer considered plus size (40B pre surgery)...Now I am a 36B...I love the selection I have now...One thing I did notice though while trying on bras is that my boobs are a lil saggy...Might have to perk these lil T-shirt boobies back up...I dont want big boobs but I want what I have to be perky...
 
Finally, I have attached my 3 month progress photos. I have had an amazing and rewarding journey thus far. I am just 34lbs from my goal, though I am starting to rethink whether I want to move my goal to 165lbs vs 155lbs. I can currently wear some size 11 jeans and I am still nearly 190lbs. I always thought I would be comfortable at a size 9. In fact, I still think I would so I am going to see how things work out weight wise with me fitting into a comfortable size 9. Depending on the number, this might be my new goal weight.
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 192.0
Week 11 Weight - 190.8
CW 188.8 [Total Weight Loss 43.2lbs ]
GW 155