SStarr2012

Okay, this is embarraasing. I am a regular poster on VST but am SOOO embarrassed about this that I created an anon account to hide from my anon VST friends. wow Anyway, forgive me for intruding on the mens forum but I feel like this a place to talk about sex - and get input from both men and women. I am in my 40s, have lost well over 100# and still working on the last little bit to goal - but looking pretty good. I have been blessed with good genes and sunscreen so have a very young looking face too. I am a responsible adult, my children are grown, I am financially independant, have lived a pretty conservative life, I am feeling good about life and... I want sex! Like my sex drive has kicked into drive and I just don't want to do without anymore! Don't worry, I have heard about safe sex, but more on that later. Okay, here is the thing, I want to have sex without having to be married (BTDT got the TShirt), or even to have a serious relationship... I am not talking about sleeping around the town, but having sort of a casual relationship with someone. Anyway, I tend to be attracted to younger men. They seem to be attracted to me. I am not talking about cradle robbing, but say ... 10-15 years younger. Yes, I have someone in mind that is about 28-30... early stages of flirtation. He is fit and hot, have no idea why he is interested in me. The youth part is background info, the real question is this. I have some ugly hanging skin. I look cute enough in clothes I guess, although still plump (I have maybe 20# to goal). My breasts are still pretty perky (shocking) my hideous zone is my thighs. I also have too big of a belly still. I know that much of beauty is self confidence but those thighs... they are pretty ugly. So, I don't even know what I am asking, except maybe do you think I need to discuss this well in advance of the casual freindship moving into something more intimate? I am really worried about this. Now, to further my embarrassment, it has been decades since I was in a position to use condoms. (I was married and then celibate). I remember that they irritated me. I am not sure what has happened in the protection world since I have been out of circulation... any advice?

HaHa - you guys are funny. Dog, I will fill that away for future reference. It is great to find someone that you enjoy spending time with too though; that chemistry element as well as just enjoying being around that person, makes it all the better. so far, I have the total package going on here. So, in all seriousness, I think we talk so much about how ugly we are on here, that we kind of lose sight to the fact that there is all sorts of ugly and crazy out there and maybe we don't look so bad by comparison to "normal". We hold ourselves to standards that the average person doesn't even meet. Here is the perspective he has shared with me - exactly echoing OTR's remarks about the low drama desire to have a good time without the games being key, but also adding that finding someone who is not obviously batshit crazy, has a fun and funny personality, can string a few sentences together, only a little overweight AND am pretty to boot and actually WANTs to well, you know - even with some loose skin I score WAY higher then many other, younger, never had WLS women out there. So, not sure that it should make me feel better that so many young women are very heavy and apparently very crazy/high drama, but so it goes. I wouldn't say this is right for everyone, but for right now, in this moment, this sort of situation is great for me. I feel better about ... well EVERYTHING... right now. Amazing what a little human contact can do for the spirits.

Ok, I know at least one person was interested in an update..lol Just wanted to let you know that i did warn him about having some loose skin due to losing alot of weight, and we had a few makeout sessions and since we both liked how those went - well we decided to partake. It was really good! Plenty of enthusiasm on both sides and we are definately doing that again! My body feels so good now during sex, I mean i just feel so strong, flexible, comfortable even on top - it just really adds to the experience. Makes me glad i exercise alot! From my side, I didn't even think about or worry about the jiggly tummy during. I was worried in advance that the extra skin would put a damper on things (although mine is not as bad yet as some i have seen but i still have 20# to lose) but at least with this man it just seems to be unimportant. I read somewhere om the internet (so it must be true) that once a man decides he wants to have sex with a specific woman it takes ALOT to turn that desire off so maybe that is why it was no problem and eager for more...haha. We have good chemistry - alot to talk about etc too so it is a fun time all around.

I had a good sex life when I was younger - and I want it back but don't feel I should have to be married or even rush into a permanent relationship (ie expectations) to experience it. I am sorry if that offends some, but I have been a responsible person my whole life and I feel I am approaching this in a responsible way as well. I am not looking to committ to anything much more then being a fun person to hang out with at this point. Artificial devices do not replace the human touch for me... I do think it is smart to tell him in advance, it isn't like we are a one time hookup, just heading toward a less serious relationship and i guess it is better to lay it on the table before .... if he blanches, well, I can hardly blame him. I often suffer from dysmorphia at times and don't see myself realistically (I always see the flaws of course) but those thighs are ugly and there is nothing anyone could say to convince me otherwise...lol I am puzzled by one thing... and I am not bragging here really i am not. I have a young looking face - people always tell me that I look 10-15 years younger then my age - I am still plump as i have a few pounds to go and certainly not perfect... but compared to many of my "peers" I don't look half bad with clothes on anyway. if I do say so myself. My hair hasn't gone gray, it is still full long and healthy, I have few wrinkles and I work out so have some amount of fitness. So why is it that i am never noticed by guys in my general age range (40s)? I mean, no returned smile or other gentle flirtations a woman might do. I don't even notice being checked out by any males that look to me like they are 40s - maybe I am a bad judge of age... not sure but it is a curiousity. I know about the whole cougar thing and that isn't what I am going for specifically, I just like people who are young at heart, are really active and fun - more then about the looks. No fuddy duddy zone, sit on the couch and watch football for days at a time, so to speak. So, the age thing is not actually the heart of the matter here, I just find it curious that there seems to be a "gap" in male interest. Or maybe I am just paranoid...lol I met a lady recently (shared hobby) who is only a few years older then me but I was shocked in that she seemed like decades older. Alot of little things, like getting her hairset at a beauty salon or dressing in those colorful velour sweatsuits. No offense, but that was what my mother did in her 70s.... anyway, it seems to me that there is a great deal of variation on how I perceive people's "real age" even for the same chronological age. So for the person who thought it was horrifying to have something going on with a guy in his late 20s/early 30s - it is really just that I want to be someone who has my level of energy and enthusiasm about life and that has not been so easy to find! It isn't just about sex, it is about having a fun time!

My first thought was... no way Second thought... I wonder if they give frequent customer discounts? naw... I think I will stay amatuer.