SweetSaso

OK hold on, i know that you may find the topic title weird/odd, but i promise you am not a *****/freak. but it is true, i kissed myself today, and i find this to be a NSV that is worth sharing. First, before i go into the subject, let me tell you a little about myself. I HATE MYSELF! I HATE MYSELF! I HATE MYSELF! I HAVE ALWAYS HATED MYSELF! DID I SAY, I HATE MYSELF? IN CASE I FORGOT, I HATE MYSELF. This has all changed today as i was washing the dishes. This past valentine, my husband has gave me a mirror as a gift, this mirror is heart shaped and my husband decided to glue it on the wall that i face when i am at the sink, when he glued it, he said and i quote: " this is for you to always remember how beautiful you have became and have always been". well, it was a sweet thing from him to gift and say BUT i have always ignored mirrors, because i have always seen a reflection of someone who i never thought i was, i acted different than what i see in the mirror, i act as if i am small but the mirror has always showed a big reflection which i hated! Well to make this long story short. Today, as i was washing the dishes, i take take a look at the mirror and look back down BUT i looked back at myself right away because what i saw has pleased me!! I saw a beautiful 20 year old woman who is the exact reflection of my soul, i thought i looked beautiful, and i questioned myself: is this really me? I teared up and all of the sudden without paying attention to what i am doing, I kissed the mirror and stood up and smiled (but whats wrong with complimenting myself) UGH, i confess it felt weird but for the first time i love myself. This made my day, and i sure could not leave it at that. I walked swiftly to my husband in the living room and told him that he is a very lucky man to have me. HAHAHAHA he was weak. BUT i was very happy, and in a very good mood all of the sudden. I am sure this has happened to someone else, kissing the mirror/liking what you see... it happens right? I find it okay to compliment myself, because what i went through was not easy, what i gave away to be at this state of body was not easy, it is okay to like what i see even for a moment right? Sorry for this long post, i thought i had to share, please give yourself credit, you deserve it.

I wanted to update: Surgery date: 11/7 Surgery day: 230 lbs This morning:141.2 lbs I am 5"6' and my initial goal first was 150, then it became 145 because it was the best for me. I had a tummy tuck when i was 143 lbs 3 weeks ago and i gained up to 7 pounds Water weight. Now am back down to 141 3 weeks after the surgery and my goal changed to 135... I think i am addicted to seeing the scale move am still not ready to transition to maintenance. My question is: is 135lbs a far fetch and too much for me?

Okay so i was supposed to have my tummy tuck on last thursday but for some family issues i had it postponed till saturday the 18th which is almost two days ago. Let me tell you something.... this hurts like hell!! i stayed overnight at the hospital but came back home today, the pain killers they prescribed for me are not working like they should, it feels as if they are no use! I am in so much pain and discomfort, i tried eating which made me want to through up and YOU BETTER NOT LET YOURSELF DO SO!!! Throwing up hurts, walking hurts, screaming hurts, crying/coughing/clearing throat all this hurts!! I cant sleep, my back hurts a lot... I am starting to regret this surgery and fall into depression I have to say though, today has been better than yesterday... i have the compression garment on and drains in... i have a follow up with my doctor tuesday to take the drains out.

Thank you so much for the replies today am starting my third day post op and i feel much better!! I can stand up straighter i can walk faster and feel less pain more of a stretching feeling... I have been walking around the house since i woke up i didn't lay down at all because i wanted my back pain to go away so that i can sleep at night. Ill see how the rest of the days go.

Can it be? Ok so here is my story... 6 months ago i thought about having the gastric sleeve, i walk in to the doctors office for the first time just to ask if the surgery is right for me, my doctor said i should get it and i was very happy but the doctor surprised me and asked if i can have the surgery next day because someone had cancelled due to family issues. So i did it, started thinking about sleeve on the 5th of november 2012 went to the doctor on the 6th of november 2012 at 5 pm and had surgery scheduled for the next morning at 7 am the 7th of nov. Now, six months and 78 pounds later (5 pounds to goal) i started thinking about tummy tuck last week after i tried on a bikini. My tummy is not too bad but its not flat and never will be. I went to the doctor's office two days ago and he agreed on the tummy tuck and said he will call me for and tell me when i can have it done. He called me this morning and asked me if i can have it this coming thursday because someone has cancelled... Well i couldn't believe it at first, i am scared but i heard myself telling him yes!! I still cant believe that in two days i will have my tummy tucked and ill be almost at goal. I consider myself very lucky to not to have to wait for too long... I just cant wait till thursday is here and over with. IN case i didn't make it out for some reason, I want to thank all of you for your support and wish you the best in luck and i hope you get as perfect as you have always envisioned yourself! You are all beautiful/handsome and i admire your dedication to doing what is best for you. And here is my happy dance!!

Thank you all for your humorous and encouraging replies, and i might be lucky but not that lucky lottery and me dont get along i can buy 50 scratch off tickets and not win a $ so that wont work lmao!! I will keep you updated and let you know how my recovery goes!

Thank you for your reply and advise, everything u said is true... BUT i am not planning to have babies anytime soon and the look of my stomach just disgusts me (its not as bad as i make it seem its just that i look like i had a baby) i came from my plastic surgeons office couple hours ago and he said i will never have a flat stomach by my own ( i have been exercising) and i might have to have a mini tuck after i have a baby which is fine with me. On the other hand, i have half of the money saved and my parents said that they will pay the rest.. I dont want to spend the money on anything but the thing that will make me happy which is becoming the inner image of myself!! Again thank you for your reply and concerns and i wish you luck hitting goal soon,,, U made me think twice whether this is what i want or not... but i find it worth my money and pain even if it is for one year!

ugh! am thinking about having a tummy tuck veryy sooon (like one month from now) I am almost 6 months post op and 10 pounds away from my goal weight, and they say afte a tummy tuck i can lose up to 25 pounds and it wont effect my new belly at all. But am very scared and i beg those of you who have enough info. about this surgery to answer my questions. SInce am doing this over seas i dont trust the doctors cause even though he is a very reputable doctor and very well known, sometimes he talks too fast and doesnt answer my questions to my full understanding. I am going in today for my pre op appointment and to set up a real date. Here are my questions please answer the questions you know and maybe that can put my mind on ease and not be scared to death! (literally) should i be worried about dying under full Anastasia? i might go back to the states a week post op, will a 14 hour flight put me in danger? how long do i have to stay at the hospital the doctor said that i leave the same day, how true is that? is he going to surprise me with couple days at the hospital and more expenses? how long until swelling goes away, will i look swelled up when am all dressed? (anyone will notice?) am still 20 years old and planning on having a baby in a year or so, i did some research and they said it might not effect my TT after i have a baby... how true is that? and can i deliver vaginally or will i have to have a C-section because of the tummy tuck. How long before i can go back to normal life after TT (workout, sex, etc...) How severe is the pain... is it much more painful than the gastric sleeve op? I am too scared and googling all this made me not want to go through with it and am sorry if am asking a lot of questions, any feedback will be helpful and appreciated. Thank you for your time and thoughts in advance.

Thank you for your reply 12 days post op are doable (i think) after watching a lot of videos on you tube most of those who had TT can move around and walk at around 8 days out but i think i will know the time frame of everything by monday as my doctor promised and according to my date, i will get a ticket out of hell and back to heaven!!! i hate it here

I woke u to read your reply and i love the fact that you were honest about the pain but still made it sound like it is nothing. You are lucky you are done with your plastics congrats! and am happy that your pain has somewhat subsided!! I will look for your thread because i love seeing before and afters. I thank god everyday that my stomach is the only area that needs to be tightened because i dont tolerate pain so well. If i stay alive (after the surgery that is) i will let you know how i feel and after your replies i will not go back home until i am comfortable!. thank you again and good luck with everything.

Thank you hun for the reply, i truly appreciate it... Good luck and congrats on your surgery and let me know how it goes and hopefully i will go through with it ill know when for sure on monday

Good luck hun, you can do it! 10 pounds are nothing compared where you were before! sometimes a stall is good a body needs time to adjust and tighten, i have been through a lot of these <3 No hun you are not alone! we are all on the same boat! You can do it and reach goal, just work hard towards it... I have been lucky to lose weight without exercising (cause m overseas and gyms here are not as good) all i do is walk, but i will be back home by next week and ill sign up for a gym forsure!

I see the light at the end of the tunnel! Today i hit 154 pounds which puts me in the normal weight range for my hight (5'6")... i went over my doctor's weight goal for me which was 160 pounds for my body frame (i have thick bones). Only 9 pounds till i hit goal, but what if i go below 145 pounds? i am afraid am going to keep losing and look sick. I am almost 6 months out and by one year out i might be 130 pounds or less who knows 9 pounds sound so easy... hopefully i will get there by 7 months out! Good luck everyone, and keep up the good work... This has both negatives and positives but as i was told yesterday, i should be very happy and grateful and not complain. Thank god for everything he has given to me and helped me go through!

I was very happy with my loss until today!! Summer is here and i admit that i want to show off my body when i am with friends at the beach, i havent noticed how much loose skin i have until i tried a bikini on... OMG what an emotional wreck i was! I hate my body, I hate being 70 pounds less... I hate my body, I want to be back where i was all tight and smooth looking. No 20 year old body should look like this. The scenario i have in mind: Friend of friend: Oh hi, nice to finally meet you... So tell me about you, how many children do you have? children can ruin your body but they are worth it right? ME: UMMMM... YEA, I HAVE NEVER BEEN PREGNANT BUT I HAD 3 BABIES WORTH OF FAT IN ME. all i can do is cry and i want to burry myself in the ground... i feel sorry for my husband for having to look at me naked. (he says i look good and i was never fat to begin with... but who is he kidding??? i have eyes too )

Thank you all for the replies, it feels good to vent and have someone tell you you are wrong about your feeling... All of you are right, maybe if my skin didnt tighten up, i might have TT after my first baby. And ill go buy a one piece for this summer and try to feel good in it. Yesterday was so depressing and the mixed feelings are part of my aunt flo package lmao! Thank you for taking time to reply, i sure feel better after reading ur comments... all of you are right and i was wrong to let something like that get to me.

So, i thought this is a NSV that i should share with everyone. Before surgery my insulin level was very high, it was 33.4 (normal insulin levels range from 4.8 and 27.8) today, (almost six months post op)... my insulin level came out to be 7.8!!!! I was so happy i cried... no meds needed and no more worrying about my health. I am as healthy as any normal person now. Oh and my doctor wants to keep checking my insulin cause he is afraid that it might go below normal level (go figures) lmao. Anyways, good luck everyone and thank you for reading my post.

Thank you all... and yes i am beyond amazed... i hope everyone gets the same results.

5 months and 9 days later, 70 pounds later... Many aches and tears later... I am 6 pounds away from normal weight. I am very excited that i had to share with everyone! I am in a very happy mood today. I am 5'6" Starting weight: 230 lbs (NOV. 7th 2012) Current weight: 160 lbs Current BMI: 25.8 Normal weight BMI: 24.9 SO YEAA 6 pounds left!!! Goal weight: 145 lbs BMI of 23.4 I hope i can make it by 6 months out. Losing very slowly now... I want to be ready for the summer but i am not in a hurry

Thank you and yes you can do it... your starting weight is not high and you are already half way down now at two months!! you are lucky cause you might get to goal before 6 months out keep up the good work and good luck

Yes, I smoke but i only smoke the hooka (shisha), which they say is worse for the body... But it hasn't affected my weight loss as far as i know. I only stopped smoking hooka (shisha) for a week post surgery then started again.

87 pounds down in 6 months is great! your body needs some time to catch up and tighten, iam almost 6 months out and only 70 pounds down! Just keep drinking your water and eating proteins and try working out more often and your weight will start going down again. Or maybe try cutting down your calorie intake for one day maybe that will make the scale move again. Dont worry i once was in a stall for a whole month and now am on another stall.. Good luck!!

Dont be afraid and go for it! it is life changing, i did this surgery out of pocket also but mine was faster, i first knew about this surgery at the beginning of november and i went to the doctors office November 6th at 5:30 pm he asked me how soon did i want this surgery and i said as soon as possible (thinking that he wont say anytime before a month) he looked at me with a big smile on his face and said someone was scheduled for tomorrow at 10 am, but she had an emergency and she wont be able to make it, want to come instead? LMAO i looked at my husband scared as hell and he said go for it, you want this more than anything. I agreed so i had to be at the hospital 7 am next morning for tests then at 10 am i had my surgery!! you have a month to get prepared i had less than 12 hours You'll be fine. GOOD LUCK AND KEEP US UPDATED!

thank you all for your sweet replies, am glad that i was able to motivate you through my post <3