No game

I would definitely put a call into the doctor. It could be a gerd issue (acid reflux) also could be some scar tissue build up (a stricture) which is usually an easy fix too.

OMFG is right!!! Almost 200 pounds?? That truly is a great achievement!

Oh!! And I saw your picture on my gobble gobble turkey day thread from thanksgiving girlie!! That one was a GREAT picture.. Your sister didn't take that one, did she??? I rest my case....

I told you not to say that! Just look at the difference! I bet you look good in your photo too we are our own worse critics really...

Hi kinda.On my fast days I eat real food. Low calorie high protein.. A shake and a bar would not hold me over! I mainly eat chicken on a bed of lettuce and veggies and Greek yogurt.. I try to hit 60 grams of protein.. My days are Tuesday and Thursday. No big reason why but I stick to those days.. And exercise? The first couple of fast days I didn't exercise just because I thought I felt weak. But I have no problem now..

See!! Your sister sucks!! My stuffing pic is also me flipping her off so not good

You have lost 53 pounds! And you need to keep feeling good about it! You are thinner and healthier and looking good Stupid photos. Whoever took it probably sucks at photography Girl you should see a photo my daughter took of me stuffing stuffing into my mouth

There may be days you don't necessarily want to "fit in" around here, trust me but you do. So please talk when you have a feeling:) It's weird huh? Being fat yes, but the being small part too and the need to protect and cover.

Hi guys... I've been talking to Cheri this morning.. She wanted me to say hi to all of you for her and she wants you to know she misses you all and will be back soon (I hope because I personally have missed her)

Lol my husband would say just drink a glass of water! If anything he learned not to say that anymore... I think me talking so openly to him has enlightened him a lot. Especially when he is dealing with obese patients.. He has more empathy with them now and a genuine interest in helping. Sometimes even telling them about me.. 0_o

Hi, We don't cross paths much.. I'm glad you posted here. I feel like we all have gotten to know each other a bit more from it. I wanted to highlight this.. It really resonated with me.. A strange thing huh? That we are going to the old behaviors now and they just aren't working the way they used too.. Lol but I'm a stubborn puss and keep trying

Ok no surprise here because we all know how much I like to talk... My husband now knows pretty much everything. He didn't before, like when I told him i wanted The surgery the first thing he said was "but Laura you never eat" I started out not even thinking about telling him everything. But out of necessity I let him see my weight (he was probably in more denial about that than I was) he didn't want me to have this surgery, so I took him to the surgeons appt. with me and lay it all bare in front if him. Weight and everything... Sometimes when I tell him my dirtiest black moments of wanting to binge or sneak eat. Like this past two weeks I let him know about my nocturnal beast that tells me to stay up late and eat.. He looks at me in fascination, like I am a strange being from another planet. It is so far off of his thinking, his experience with food. Does it help me that he knows?? Lol, I'll have to get back to you in a year or two.. Because this cannot be measured in the initial weight loss alone..

Crowsnestmama, I have so much to say but can't find the words just yet... But two things I must say now. Thank you for sharing its nice for all of us to know we are not alone.. Also, I think you are a great mom because you are thinking and aware and I can tell by the way you talked about them even in that short time. There is love, deep caring love. They don't need perfection, they need us and our love.

Roo can I tell you something? Ok wigs... We all can remember times of seeing someone wear one and noticed because it didn't "look" quite right?? In life and in pictures.. This is the honest truth. I have a hard time believing that you have a hair piece on! Really it looks that natural. Trust me, I've got a big unfiltered mouth. I would tell you if it looked "off" I meant it when I said you looked beautiful

I went into this "holiday season" with "I want more that just to get by" or "maintain" lol!!! I'll be lucky to hold on for dear life and make it out the other end with only minor scrapes and bruises

I don't know what it would be like to have a "perfect" body... Even with the loss I still have my (In)security blanket of flesh. And I just told you how prettiness feels to me. I want it, I don't want it, I want to not need it, I can imagine plastics while really cool, can be an emotional journey too. I mean most of us are like aw man I lost this weight but dang I wish my thighs didn't drag down towards the floor.... As hard as it is to deal with my smaller self, what would it be like to deal with my more physically "perfect" or "normal" self? You are a great friend and a strong person Jane, I know active you are, and to be down by force even if it were something you wanted must be hard for you.. I bet when you can get up on that horse again. It will come together for you.

Sometimes I wish we all could meet... I would hold you.. With tears and love in my eyes.

OK Laura, I'm going to take you on a little ride. If you don't want to go on a little ride, then skip this post. Otherwise..... When your cleaning those toilets, picture all those dark thoughts pouring down the drain and being replaced with crystal clear healing nectar of the gods. Your brain is now floating in a warm, lovely healing bath that reaches the deepest recesses of your mind, past and present. It flows down past your eyes, nose, ears and mouth, then through your spinal cord, and on through your whole body, polishing and cleaning every inch of your body, leaving you glowing and healthy, strong and flexable. All perceived impurities and imperfections are washed away. You can feel the warm radiance of your perfect being. And starting with your son and lovely husband, you can see that they naturally are glowing and healthy, just like you. You can see it in everyone around you, every lovely being. Some know it, some do not, some forgot, and some remember, but they all have it. You have always been this way, you just forgot for a little while. You are a perfect being Laura, you have Buddha nature built in. If you water it, it will grow. I know you can see it in your lovely son, now go give him a hug, and realize you are that too. Love and hugs from your internet friend, who obviously spent some time with a few hypnotists in her life, as well as a few Buddhists and did not forget their style... <3After the wake of destruction I left behind this morning. Reading your calmness and love coming through is a gift I wasn't sure I deserved at first... But thank you. Thank you all so much, it means so much today. Today was a fast day for me, honestly I felt like I couldn't do it today.. But somehow I have not binged and I'm glad. I feel worn out emotionally but I feel I light of relief glowing around me too,,,

Great news!!! The best news! I'm so happy that they found it and were able to provide you with some relief.

You know ugly, pretty, it's such a weird concept. I want to be pretty, I don't want to be pretty.. I am pretty, I'm not pretty. It was all my father cared about right? Fat= ugly Skinny= pretty It meant everything to my mother too.. It always made me sad. Her self worth was her looks, it's what she had to offer the world. I make fun of her 5 husbands and five boob jobs now, but as a kid it saddened me. For many reasons depending on the day. Sometimes because I felt that she should know she had more to offer, other times because she hated other women that she perceived prettier than her.. By the way I at some point became a woman too.. And a lot of times I was sad because I could not be pretty like her. I felt she was a "real" woman that she knew the real woman pretty secrets I did not know.. I think this is the hard part about me losing the weight.. Part of me likes being invisible. I don't like entering the potentially attractive world. Last time I lost weight I was picked up on! I was giddy happy I couldn't believe it!! (Oh I'm married so it doesn't matter) He was so handsome! I went home and binged? I hate my fat self but I'm scared of my small self. Is that why I've always regained? Oh lord I'm rambling sorry gals! Lol where's my therapist

The pain.. I binge to the same extreme. Pain never stopped me. I've had moments wondering why did I think the sleeve would help? Because it makes me feel pain if I eat to much?? When you want to self destruct? it just gets you there a bit faster. I'm hoping that being aware of these dirty truths and open about them for the first time really, will help. So move over on that square one, I'll be standing right there with you.

RJ, I usually detach myself very easily from my past. I like to say it doesn't affect me anymore. But shit I hate this time if year! Any skeletons you may have rattling around in your closet ring you up for Christmas cheer... Lol, life, a perfect storm somedays.. I know we are taught these things. My memory is faulty and I've forgotten most of my childhood lessons.. But obviously I remember a few lines here and there...

This is part of my confusion with feelings today. My fat, I know it well I know most of the reasons I got here.. I have been open book most of the time here (sometimes laying too bare and fragile) This thread, it's timing and it's participants have had a great great affect on me today. I cannot say that it was all positive. I am raw, tired, worn.... This is just my emotions today. Time of year? I am not immune to the holiday blues.. Who knows really, But I relate to this passage above. As it seems to be an ongoing theme to which I am faced with daily. I'm not sure why it has to be a debate everyday.. Or maybe just not today. It made my feel like will the real ugly fat person please stand.

Yep those wacky people got our number again.. Do you remember when "fat free" Was the new buzzword in processed food?? Americans loved this new healthy alternative and they bought it and consumed more because it was "healthy" And they became fatter.. Let's not forget "sugar free" even better right? And yes the Americans became fatter.. Oh the wonders of pre packed processed foods, they followed us and then. Decided gluten free was the way to go!! Yes healthy gluten free potato chips!!! And Americans got fatter. Organic soda anyone? Yes you soda drinkers too can the healthy craze! Today at the store I noticed they got it "right" again.. I can go and find "Greek" products. yes I see you big food company pushing those Greek "style" yogurts. Greek style Cereal anyone?? It's yummy and good for you!! Or is Protein your cash cow? No longer do we need to eat real food with protein because a miracle has happened! they found away to make those processed foods rich in protein.. now we can eat protein cereal! Yay! Protein granola bars!! Double yay!! Baby Ruth anyone?? And Americans got fatter...

Jane it's so hard today... Thank you for what you said here and the other thread.. I was doing so good and now it seems to be falling apart? I wish I could get out of the black and white and live in the gray for a while..