Ruth's life

My surgery is set for November 19th and I am so happy and I must admit a bit nervous.

Like many of you, I don't remember a time where weight has not been an issue. I can remember being embarassed in grade school many times. Junior High was a total nightmare and by high school I came up with a new defense. I became loud, the joker and believe it or not very out going! I figured I would divert the attention. And while that was great that I wouldn't let my weight hold me back on the outside ...it did on the inside. College was a bit better. I walked a lot, started running and was "fit" when I married my college sweetheart. But moving nine times in 5 years and then children and jobs and well, life happened. I gained, I lost, and then gained more. I gave all my energy to my marriage, my children and my job. I again justified my actions saying that I was very busy and had no time to focus on myself. I was embarrased to go with my husband to fundraisers and client dinners...and I made excuses. I hated being in pictures because it was a reminder and so I avoided them. So again, I was the happy person on the outside and the miserable, sad person on the inside. And...I didn't share this with anyone, just me, alone at times crying.

Diets? What have I not done? Is there a new one today? Because I've done them all! All through this process my husband has been supportive. Could not ask for more from a husband. He is 100% behind me in this decision too. I am blessed.

So how did I come to this point? Well, this summer my youngest daughter attended her last cheer camp. All the parents went and so did I.
I dressed in school colors and went to cheer her on! After the competition, the picture taking began. Before I knew it, I was in a picture with my daughter. The next day, the picture was sent to me. I don't know why....but it was the slap in the face I needed. There was my beautiful daughter...and who was that next to her? I cried, I got angry, and then I asked God for help. I needed it. Then I realized that was the answer. I needed help. No more excuses. No more out going person. No more my family needs me. I needed help or I would not be there for them!!!!!

I began my search and research, called the surgeon and scheduled my appointments. There were a few bumps in the road dealing with my high blood pressure but again God came through. My husband, my daughters and my mom are supporting me. I've stocked up on all the required items and starting my pre-op diet. Really feel like this is meant to be.

I know this will not be an easy journey. But I'm going to give this all I can. I've read a lot of posts on this site and it has helped so much.

So, November 19th here I come. I'm ready.