TwinsMama

Recipe adapted from my favorite Indian cookbook, Raghavan Iyer's 660 Curries. If you love to cook and are willing to spend a little extra time to make sure everything is made fresh and authentically, this is the one to choose.
 
Best places to get all the spices are either whole foods, central market, or other stores that have spice bins, or an indian grocery store.
 
Ingredientss
2 tbsp Coriander seeds
1 tsp cumin seeds
1/2 tsp whole black cloves
1/2 tsp cardomom seeds from green/white pods
2 dried bay leaves
3 dried red chiles or 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper or red chile flakes (the kind you put on pizza)
1 2-3 inch piece cinnamon
 
Method
 
1.Put all ingredients into a clean coffee grinder and grind until it's a coarse-fine powder. I use a this type of coffee grinder. Shake it about as it's being ground so all the seeds and bits get under the blades.
 
2. When you're finished, unplug the grinder, and turn it upside down. You want all the spice to collect into the lid so you can easily scoop it out without cutting yourself playing about around the blades.
 
3. Finished! Use in the palak paneer recipe I have posted as well as the chicken curry recipe.

The below quote is from here.
 
 
Welp. That's depressing. And very accurate for me.
 
My timeline (that I can remember)
 
2003 - 200 lbs, graduated high school tried Jenny Craig, Weight Watcher's, Herbal Magic, physician-supervised weight loss
2004 - 230 lbs, freshman "15"
2006 - 200 lbs with diet/exercise concurrent with first serious relationship
2006 - 230 lbs, 3 months after end of first serious relationship
2007 - 250 lbs
2008 - 220 lbs with diet and exercise, then started a grueling intensive 3 year program
2009 - 250 lbs
2011 - 275 lbs, graduated from said program, then couldn't find a job for 4 months, did food and retail therapy
2012 - 235 lbs, with personal trainer costing $4000 with diet/exercise
2013 - 285 lbs, highest weight ever at pre-op for vertical gastric sleeve surgery, found out 2 weeks before surgery I am hypothyroid.
 
Time to put an end to this horrific yo-yo dieting.
 
It reinforces in my mind that I'm doing the right thing by having this surgery. No turning back now.

How To explain away my scars?
 
OK, this is awful so don't read if you are easily offended and do not appreciate a sick sense of humor.
 
 
 
 
Warning! Don't read if you are easily offended!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Last Warning! Sick Humor below!!!!!
 
 
 
 
Shanked in prison... Shuts them up every time! - VSGKirk
 
Some idiot: What happened?
You: I had abdominal surgery.
Idiot: What kind?
You: The kind that involves the abdominal area. - newat52
 
Tijuana knife fight. - Kristina J.
 
I had some "woman issues " - chell1978
 
Texas mosquito bites
 
I was knifed by an exotic dancer in TJ.
 
Full contact scrapbooking injury...
When you get the weird look, you can fill in that scrapbooking is getting really intense now that scrappers are trying to make the hobby "athletic enough" for the Olympics.
 
Bears. But never mind my scar, you should check out my awesome new rug!
 
My wife said somtimes I don't know my place.
 
Tell them you are trying to avenge your father and ask if they have six fingers on their right hand.
 
Two words, "Satin sheets"
 
I don't want to go into details, but suffice to say, I won't be allowed in that Benihana for a while.
 
The first rule of Fight Club is 'don't talk about Fight Club'
 
They say you can't get blood from a stone - well, the IRS tried!
 
Remember when your mom told you not to run with scissors?
 
I was watching the DIY network and they did a show on bodylifts...
 
A zombie tried to eat my brains and missed.
 
Tell them as much as you'd love to talk about it you just can't because your defense attorney and parole officer advised you to keep your mouth shut until after the trial.
 
I got this in a bar fight when I used to ride with Hells Angels.
 
That's where the aliens probed me
 
Don't worry about it. Because of me, they now have a to put on warning labels!
 
Well, let me just tell you this: You should NEVER EVER, under ANY circumstances, go out with a guy/girl that you met on the internet.
 
"I was oyster hunting." They give me a blank stare. Then I say, with a wink, "You've obviously never been oyster hunting before."
 
I was at this party with Marilyn Manson and everyone was giving out hugs.
 
I lost a fight with a can of tuna fish.
 
I slipped while making a salad.
 
I fell asleep, and the clown got me.
 
I'll just put it this way: when they tell you not to feed the bears, it's for a damned good reason.
 
I'm a blade sharpness tester
 
"I had an accident with a scalpel." [person asks why] "Well, you know that guy who woke up in an ice bath and his kidney was gone? Er... this had nothing to do with it. Honest."
 
You know how dogs chase their tails? Well it has nothing to do with that. Nor does it have anything to do with cat scratches. Or the faeries that visit me nightly *ramble on*... What was I talking about?
 
I thought those security tags on pants just sprayed ink, but apparently they spray shards of broken glass, too.
 
"Oh, these?" *embarrassed face* "I know they look horrible, but the sex was INCREDIBLE!"
 
"...Are you consipring aginast me? What's with all the questions? Who wants to know the answers?" *and upon interrupting "I'm doing the talking here" and then continue to ramble until they back away. "...They'll come and get you too. Run while you still can"
 
Knifed by an exotic dancer. Terrible. Yes, they're nasty that way.
 
I had unprotected sex with a porcupine.
 
I took my lizards for a walk and they held on for dear life.
 
The neighborhood cat and I had a disagreement about the paw prints on my truck.
 
The police didn't comply with the terrorists' demands fast enough, so they took it out on us hostages.
 
I keep falling off of cliffs trying to catch that damned roadrunner.
 
The voices told me to do it.
 
I did this as a sacramental offering to my dark lord, you prick. ::Smile::
 
In my past life I was a ninja.
 
It sucks having parents who are sadists.
 
My boyfriend and I accidentally went overboard during our last S & M session.
 
I moon light as a stunt-woman who dives through glass windows.
 
Look at your scars and frown You mean you don’t have any?
 
Well, last time it was an alien baby. I’m actually kind of relieved.
 
I had a narrow escape from a firing squad.
 
Now that is an interesting question; it all ties in with the eternal enigma: why are we here, for what purpose does life on earth exist? go on about the meaning of life until everyone gets bored and goes away
 
Carving a turkey is harder than it looks
 
You want me to show you? smile evily
 
Don’t EVER give blood abroad!
 
Well, I tend to get a little violent with the computer when it doesn’t cooperate.
 
Oh those? Bad juggling accident. I don’t like to talk about it. I’m much better now
 
Oh these? Hmm, I dunno, they’ve just always been there. Well, I mean, ever since I took over this body, anyway. Strange, don’t you think?
 
Ozzy Osborne is my uncle and we have some kick butt family reunions!
 
Those psychology experiments are soooo not worth the extra credit…
 
Oh my god! Never, EVER try taking candy from a baby!
 
A reminder of my Pirating days....
 
My trained attack dragon did before I got him trained...
 
I had a duel.
 
Did you know chickens aren't all soft and fluffy?
 
Playing Slug Bug with a cat is a reaaally bad idea.
 
Oh this? *point at scar* That's where my twin used to be attached.
 
Lightsaber battle
 
I kicked Chuck Norris' ass all I got was this lousy scar!
 
Tell them you had to help Jack Bauer escape from the Russians and that's the last time you'll cover his pansy ass.
 
Narrowly escaped a zombie attack
 
Fell on the runway-it's Fashion Week
 
Rachel Ray's dog attacked me.
 
I just tell people it's a "sex wound."
 
My husband is ... just ... a WILD MAN, what can I say?
 
 
 
 
 
 
That's all folks!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Really, that's all there is.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
No hablo the english? There isn't anymore. Stop scrolling!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Ok, okay, one last one.
 
It's where the alien burst out. What, you think they only come out of chests?
 
 
 
 
Satisfied!??????????

Bad news. I've been depressed, lethargic and feeling blah, meh, blue, and blobby for the last three days. Good news: There is absolutely NOTHING wrong IRL, so I know this is just recovery/hormones.
 
I don't know what the heck is wrong with my body but really, everything is going well surgery-wise. No problem with intake, protein, fluids, etc. Blood tests came back looking great.
 
I'm just down.
 
I knew this would happen, but I didn't think it would last thing long. This whole week, I've struggled to do much of anything. I lack vim and vinegar and zip and zing. Over the last 3 days, it's been more pronounced. I'm sort of slug-like right now, and I'd like the old me back please. I suspect so would my employees who aren't used to me being quite so out of it. They all know I had surgery, only one of them knows what kind.
 
R of course is bouncing all over the place like nothing happened, but I notice that he gets angry easily and is very sensitive these days--which is his version of depression. So we're both having to be a bit gentle with each other and cut the other some slack. He's been great about giving me room to be depressed instead of trying to talk me out of it. I'm trying to do the same for him.
 
I lost a pitch yesterday. I HATE HATE HATE losing. I could not have made any profit at the price they finally paid another company, so it was okay to lose it.
 
But what surprised me was that my body reacted immediately and badly to it. As soon as I read the email, I broke out in a cold sweat and almost passed out. No exaggeration.
 
I think my new tummy handles emotion/adrenaline differently. I noticed this when we tried to watch a movie right after the surgery and the rather tame thriller upset my stomach and my nervous system so badly I had to stop watching it. I think with a smaller tummy, the same rush of adrenaline doesn't feel as it used to. It's a horrible, uncomfortable, tense feeling and you want it to go away. Don't know if all adrenaline junkies have to deal with this or not, but I now know that *I* have to deal with this.
 
I want to kick myself in the pants and "snap out of it". I'm keeping it from getting worse, but I haven't snapped out of it yet.
 
Welcome to recovery, emo-style

GamerGirl writes some of the best stuff.....I didn't want to lose this, so I'm keeping it on my "blog".......the 2nd week after surgery I had 5 days where my weight stayed the same......was it a stall? I didn't know and didn't care.......with everything I've read about VSG, I knew there would be bumps on this journey and not to get discouraged......but for more information, GG has posted some great reads below.
 
 
 
Source: This is a Public Service Announcement concerning Stalls & Plateaus

Just because I understand why we plateau from time to time doesn't mean I have to like it. Which is just as well, because I do not like it.
 
I thought I would be really blase and nonchalant during this time of stalling because intellectually, I was prepared for it. What I'm realizing is that intellectual is the least of my problems. Isn't it always emotions that give you the highs and lows in life? How do you prepare for that?
 
How do you prepare for the fact that your heart and your head will clash, and that you will start to wonder if you are a freak of nature? That you are doing something wrong, hence the stall? That you were so excited about the weight coming off, and now, you're not losing any for a little bit? How do you keep the faith, that this is the thing that's going to work when every other diet you've tried has failed?
 
It brings back emotions and memories of all the other times I've tried whole-heartedly to lose weight by following the "latest science" and failed. Every one of those diets had oodles of testimonials of people that had made that plan work, and had lost all kinds of weight from doing it. I was the only freak of nature that couldn't lose it--or so I thought. Of course, I see from this board that there were thousands of others, equally frustrated and equally unsuccessful. But nevertheless, what worked for the vocal majority, the others did not work for me, in those cases. It brings back feelings of failure, or lack of success, of fear that nothing was ever going to work.
 
I suppose it is possible that the sleeve is the same for me--but I know it is not probable.
 
Fortunately, both R and I are stalled. If one of us was losing and the other wasn't, there would all kinds of conversation and superstitious behavior about mimic'ing exactly what the other was doing to lose the weight. Fortunately we've been spared that madness. This time. Next time it may not work like that so how are we going to get ready for that next time?
 
Even though I told myself there would be no second guessing, I am of course, second guessing. It's hard for my scientist-mind to not immediately attribute the stall to the fact that we were told to increase our calories and our carbs. Never mind that we were barely functional at previous levels, and that I still have be able to function and make a living, my cause-and-effect wired brain wants to know what would happen if I went back to the old calorie and carb levels?
 
THIS. This is what I said I would NOT do. This constant second-guessing, this "what if" scenario planning, this emotional ditch. This is what I told myself I would stay away from because I knew the "facts".
 
So I guess time to "man up" and do that eh? Time to put my money where my mouth was, time to feel whatever I feel, but to not allow it to influence my actions. To keep to the plan, and let go out of the outcome, you big control-freak. To look at this time as a time of growth, where you learn to let go--and still succeed.
 
So today, my task is the same as it was yesterday. Eat my protein, drink my water, exercise--and try to have a good, productive, love-filled day.
 
Wish me luck.

Omg I just made the best lobster "bisque". I made it up as I went, hence the note below.
 
Half an onion sliced thin
3 cloves garlic smashed
1in ginger sliced thin and julienned
5 Campari tomatoes
1/2 head cauliflower
3 c chicken stock
2 tablespoons pesto
1 lb frozen langoustine or lobster (see note below)
Salt
Pepper
 
Sauté onions, garlic and ginger until browned (I used ghee, you can use fat of choice or spray w Pam). Pour in chicken broth and dump everything except frozen langoustine. Season with salt and pepper. Cook until veggies are tender. Put in langoustines and cook over slow heat until cooked through.
 
Purée soup until smooth and voila!
 
Note: We took out two cups of soup and puréed 6 oz of langoustines. That gives us 3 oz each or 14 gms of protein! I'm saving the rest to purée with shrimp tomorrow. If I had a recipe, I might not have so much soup left over but it's very good.
 
Rich, creamy, flavorful and maybe I won't have to do another protein shake tonight. I've had worse in pricey restaurants.

I feel like a different part of my brain has been activated over the last few weeks. Look at how much we all have to learn to prepare for this surgery. When was the last time you used the words "pyloric valve" in polite conversation, on a regular basis?
 
Eight weeks ago, I didn't realize I would be a "sleever", a "post-op" a "full liquids" stage. I was just me, loving life, my job, my husband, my kids, and reading Sci-Fi if I wanted to learn new words (China Mieville, anyone?)
 
Unfortunately, today I also know things like "sliders", "pre-op cheating", "slow loser", "stall", "head hunger", "weight re-gain", "falling off the wagon". And now, these words I've never used before have become imbued with emotions, with meaning--and another way to judge myself and others. Now these words are emotion-laden, and I have to work to make them rational. Now, if I'm not careful, I will categorize myself by these words and find another way in which I could be seen to have failed. For someone who is as motivated as am I by the fear of failure, now these can be new weapons.
 
Unless I refuse to let that happen.
 
Unless I say to myself and those around me, that everyday that I stick to the plan is a successful day. That everyday I veer off the plan is an opportunity presented to me to triumph the next day. That this is my new life, and I intend to live it, enjoy it, succeed at it, and let the Universe unfold the way it should.
 
So I will try not to throw out the old, happy life I had, and live instead by one where I can succeed or fail daily based on an outcome I may not be able to control--like when I stall, or what I lose. I can only control what I do, and that part, I know how to live by that.

I did something I didn't think I'd EVER be able to do Saturday night: I attended a bachelorette party for a good friend, jumped on a party bus with 11 other ladies and didn't touch a DROP of alcohol the entire night. Well, ok, there was ONE sip at a comedy club after my friend sent her margarita back twice claiming it had soda in it so I just had to see for myself how truly hideous it was. And it WAS. But that was it! We had dinner at a Mexican restaurant. My FAV food in the world. Not a chip passed my lips. No beans. No rice. Just some grilled chicken with a bit of salsa on it and a few black beans. The moral? If I can spend 7 hours on a bus full of crazy drunk people, pass on Mexican, (oh and did I mention there was cake?), pass on cake (I shall leave the "shape" of cake to your imagination) - I CAN DO THIS. Just how tough was this? Oh so hard. Normally I'm the life of the party, and at my current height/weight I can put it away. Bottom line - WILL POWER. One week until surgery. I've turned down fruit, beer (gulp), chips, etc. My size 0, 19 year old daughter left a 1/3 eaten Snickers bar on the counter the other day (who DOES that?!) and I wrapped it up and stuck it away for her later. I wasn't even tempted to finish it as I would have been a month ago. I want to be healthy more than I want the 2 second gratification of tasting chocolate. The other thing I'm learning is that food is for FUEL, not for emotions. Old me: "Hey! It's sunny! I need a bowl of cereal! Oh crap, it's raining, I should probably make a pot of pasta and have 3 huge bowls. Look at that, I'm sad - better grab some chips and dip" (you get the idea). Now I'm listening to my tummy for cues that it needs fuel. Let me close this post by saying - to know me is to know how hard this has been and will be for me. BUT I'm doing it and so can you. Stay positive - eye on the prize.

My libido is through the roof since having surgery. It is, without a doubt, the highest it has ever been in my life. A juicy, throbbing beast of arousal. It's like I have a whole new set of nerve endings and with the slightest whiff of sexuality they are firing on all pistons. I haven't even lost that much weight; the weight I'm at now is one I've been at many times in my life, with unspectacular effects on my sex drive.
 
But everything has changed. I understand the appeal of David Guetta songs. I understand why people risk going to jail for public indecency. I understand why women look forward to doing laundry so much. I even think I may be beginning to understand how it feels to be a man. Make that a teenage boy. Let me put it this way, I don't think I'll need to continue the 30 Day Abs Challenge to see results by next week.
 
I have a theory for this: For the first time in my life, the prospect of a toned, sexy body is real. Guaranteed, in fact, as long as I don't push my sleeve. I think my libido went to sleep years ago when it realized it wasn't going to be put to use anytime soon, and now it has awoken like a bear jolted out of hibernation by jumper cables.
 
And how the hell is it that men KNOW when you're feeling like this? Walking my dog today, literally every man I passed turned his head. Two guys even slowed their cars waaaaaaaaayyyy down as they were passing by and watched me. I was wearing sweatpants, slurping on a protein shake, and carrying a bag of $h!t - not exactly exuding an air of....well, what I'd just done in the shower.
 
If you can relate, I would love to hear from you. Especially if you're single like me. How did/do you keep yourself under control? I feel like I'm on the verge of doing something stupid. As a teacher in a small town, something tells me if I were caught in a park humping the statues people wouldn't want me around their children anymore.

Yes, there are a lot of acronyms here. I've listed just the ones related to weight loss surgery, not ones in common use, such as LOL (laugh out loud). Be sure to let me know of any I've missed:
 
BMI: Body Mass Index
CW: Current Weight
DS: Duodenal Switch weight loss surgery
EWL: Excess Weight Loss
FF: Fat Free
GBP: Gastric Bypass
GW: Goal Weight
LBL: Lower Body Lift
MO: Morbidly Obese
NSV: Non Scale Victory, such as fitting in an airline seat
NUT: Nutritionist
OH: Obesity Help, another good online forum
PB2: Peanut Butter 2 (peanut powder substitute for peanut butter)
PCP: Primary Care Physcian
PPI: Proton Pump Inhibitor, such as Prilosec
RNY: Roux-eN-Y (gastric bypass) weight loss surgery
SF: Sugar Free
SMO: Super Morbidly Obese
SW: Surgery Weight
TT: Tummy Tuck
VBG: Vertical Banded Gastroplasty weight loss surgery
VSG: Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy weight loss surgery
VST: Vertical Sleeve Talk, our wonderful forum
WLS: Weight Loss Surgery

I made some rookie mistakes yesterday when I added fruit and vegetables to my protein shake. I put so much in that there wasn't room for hardly any ice. By the end of the drink, it just tasted like lukewarm beet juice. Today's is much better!
 
1 scoop of market pantry chocolate protein
3 tablespoons of organic fat free vanilla yogurt
1/2 large organic cucumber
1 handful of organic blueberries
lots of ice
 
This is a much smoother taste. And according to the interwebs, cucumber is a natural anti-inflammatory!

Fast loser, slow loser, I am a half-fast loser! On average, I lose about 3 lbs each week. But on the other hand, I'm eating good and haven't really had to exercise hard. I walk 5 days a week and am working my way up to 5 miles per day. I've managed to get to 5 miles only 2 times since I've started. Knee and hip pain sometimes interfere with my walking.
 
How I wanted to be one of those posters who could say they lost 100 lbs in 6 months, but it doesn't look like it's in the cards for me. But I try to be satisfied with a steady down tick of the scale.
 
If I can maintain this downward pace, I'll be down 150 lbs in 10 months. That would be freakin awesome! That would put me at my lowest weight since high school - 27 years ago! And at 190 - my ideal body weight.
 
Jeeze, until I wrote that last sentence, I hadn't taken time to do the math! 190 seems like a weight someone else is, not me. I don't know if I can handle being normal. It seems like one of those daydreams that only comes true in the movies.
 
Ok, back on topic - the one thing most fast losers don't mention in their posts is, what they had to do to have such fast results.
Did they workout 7 days a week on the treadmill for hours, living on Unjury and water? Or do they have a naturally fast metabolism?
 
Or are they just attention whores, looking for approval and praise?
 
***Disclaimer, I know of no one that has lied about their weight loss! And no animals were harmed in the writing of this post. But my cat thinks I'm starving him!***
 
Anyway, the whole point of this post was supposed to be, be satisfied that you are losing weight - whatever the speed! If you want to lose faster: move a little more, eat a little better, and stick with the guidelines from your NUT.
 
Oh, and don't forget to have a support group like the good folks here on verticlesleevetalk. You don't have to post anything, it helps me just seeing that others have the same questions and concerns keeps me from feeling alone.

I mentioned in my last blog post that I was visiting my Nut earlier this week.  I'm happy to report I'm down 5 lbs.  I've officially met my required (6 month) weight loss goal.  Now I have to stay under this weight for another month to be submitted for approval.
 
After I'm submitted for approval, I can then start the long process of waiting for a date.  My surgeon is wayyy backed up, so I am not expecting to have surgery until probably this summer.  The good news with that is I will have worked up even more leave so I can stay out longer during recovery.  I'm shooting for 3 weeks at least with 4 weeks being the most.
 
That's how I'm managing to keep the frustration (of this long process) down.  I'm just glad I have made this much progress.  Now here's to a loss during December...holidays and all.

This is a rant, so I apologize in advance for being all over the place...
 
So the last few days I've had ZERO motivation to work out.  I'm just coming off my cycle so I know that's part of it.  However, I just feel so blah.  Part of me knows it is the cold weather too, the sunny days, late nights of summer...I hate the heat but love the summer...
 
Okay back on task...I'm just in a funk regarding exercise.  I walk daily but that is not enough.  I have literally every exercise DVD, tape, etc. known to man.  So there is variety I'm just not feeling it.  I even have an exercise bike, bands, weights, you name it but still no motivation.
 
I had the great idea to buy something (my other form of therapy I'm working on) a new workout outfit and a new piece of equipment.  I thought I'd buy either a home gym thingy (like the one Chuck Norris uses) or a treadmill (my 3rd one - I've given the others away).  Then I thought I'd buy one of those exercise chairs like on the Steve Harvey show, (see it here) until I saw it was $700 for something I can basically make myself.  Don't judge me, it takes me a while to figure out the real deal with me sometimes.
 
That's when I knew I was avoiding the real problem...no motivation. I've never been the type that gets a rush after exercising.  Even when I was thinner I didn't feel all giddy after working out.  It was/is a means to an end. 
 
Now don't get me wrong...I love belly dance, pilates, and bollywood dance.  So I know there are things I enjoy.  I think I'm just a combo of bored and lazy.  Plus, when I do those, I don't get as good a workout as when I used to hit the gym or lift weights.  So it feels like they are not worth my time. I do tolerate callanetics and t-tap which are good exercises but man they get boring really quick.
 
Which brings me to my next point...I don't want to go to the gym.  My days are literally full enough without going to a gym for a hour a day (I live in the country rual suburbs).  Plus, to pay for what I already have at home seems like a huge waste.
 
After all this, I guess there is no real point to my post other than I'm bored and lazy.  I guess I'll get back to my pilates and callanetics and maybe buy myself something to use when doing pilates.  Don't judge me, I'm still a work in progress.

This past week was wonderful.  I was able to spend much needed time with my family (worked from home multiple days), enjoy a nice long weekend, and just de-stress.  I did pretty good eating over the holiday.
 
I was pretty proud of myself.  I decided to view the food as "not going anywhere" rather than my "last hurrah".  This made all the difference in the world.  It helped me to realize just because I'm getting sleeved doesn't mean I will never eat some of the foods I enjoy again. 
 
I'm sure I won't be disappointed at my next weigh-in.  I have about a week to get ready.  We'll see what the scale holds.

This past week was wonderful.  I was able to spend much needed time with my family (worked from home multiple days), enjoy a nice long weekend, and just de-stress.  I did pretty good eating over the holiday.
 
I was pretty proud of myself.  I decided to view the food as "not going anywhere" rather than my "last hurrah".  This made all the difference in the world.  It helped me to realize just because I'm getting sleeved doesn't mean I will never eat some of the foods I enjoy again. 
 
I'm sure I won't be disappointed at my next weigh-in.  I have about a week to get ready.  We'll see what the scale holds.

I've been thinking about what I'll wear under my clothes after the surgery.  Right now I fluctuate between Body Magic (horrible when you have to go to the bathroom) and Squeem.  I tend to run cold so I'm always layering and if I can find something to nip and tuck, I'm game.  I've tried Spanx but they either don't stay in place or are so thin they are not worth it.
 
So as I read the many posts here about compression garments, I've wondered if anyone knows of any scientific studies that show they help.  I ask this because I didn't wear anything right after my c-section but once I finally started it was a whole new world...far less pain.  I always wondered if it was all in my head or if it really helped me in some way.
 
Now, in speaking with my surgeon, he didn't have a preference.  I'd like to go ahead and buy now (if it is worth it) during the holidays since there are a few promotions going on.  But I'd like to know if it was worth it for any Sleevers that may have tried them post-op. 
 
Specifically,
Did you find it helpful? If so, why...if not, why not? What brand(s) did you buy? What model/item? How soon after surgery did you wear yours? Was it painful to get into? Do you still wear it? Anything else that I should know to help me decide? I'd really appreciate anything anyone has to offer regarding this.  Thanks!

It seems hard to believe, but after all of this time, we are underway. I started my liquid diet yesterday and so far, it's not bad. Tomorrow, I have a pre-op class, and then they'll be doing my scope, so they can take a peak down my esophagus and into my stomach to make sure there aren't any surprises. Then next week I have my pre-op physical, and then just days after that, it's go time!
 
While all of this is extremely exciting, it's happening at a crazy time of year. With my surgery on the 11th, I feel strongly that I should have my shopping done before I go in, so that Christmas is taken care of. I'm trying to get all of the wrapping and everything done. As a teacher, this is a crazy time, too. This point in the semester is very busy at the high school where I teach, and the night class I teach at the local community college is coming to an end as well. I also sponsor a student community service group, and they have all of their usual December activities. (This is their busiest time of the year.) Anyway, we're all busy, and I just feel like I'm on a roller coaster right now, barreling toward the surgery and everything else coming up.
 
There's not much point to this post other than me expressing the need to pull my hair out right now. But I'm trying to stay focused on my health and getting myself prepared for what's coming. I need to start exercising again, but finding the time is getting trickier and trickier. But if I'm doing this, I know I need to exercise.
 
Anyway, that's where I am today.

OMG! Let me tell you what transpired yesterday! So I received a call from my surgeon's nurse at home last night. She was calling me to inform me that my surgeon wanted to know if I would be interested in being interviewed along with other patients about our weight loss journey/story. She didn't have alot of details but basically said I would sit and be asked questions about my experience with the bariatric team. The staff would also be interviewed and THEN it would be shown all around the hospital campus. HOLY ****! I was getting nervous just thinking about it as she kept talking. Finally when she finished, I told her I would let her know by Thursday if I'd be interested. The interview is to take place and recorded on Tuesday, December 4th.
 
I'm a pretty much super shy individual :ph34r: . Lets not forget a very shy chubby individual. The thoughts of having people see me throughout the hospital system gave me some anxiety. I would be the girl walking down the hallway and people will stare, point, and maybe even laugh. I guess my chubby girl syndrome still lingers deep back in my head telling me these things could happen and truly probably wouldn't even happen. I asked three of my closest friends their thoughts on it and they all said "DO IT". Their reason's were pretty much all the same "to inspire" someone else to "go for it".
 
Never did I intend to be considered as an "inspiration". I'm still trying to find myself, get used to that fact that I will indeed be a transitioned slimmer individual and perhaps not as SHY as I am. Lets not forget that I weighed 225 before surgery and I currently weigh 176. It's not much of a weight loss, at least not in my eyes. So Im still kinda questioning "why me". I'm quite comfortable being "baby who is left in the corner" .
 
SO, today, I knew I would run into my surgeon (I work in the same hospital as he does and better yet, I work on the same floor his main office is located in, not the clinic but his main office). I tried drastically to avoid running into him this morning because I knew he had probably touched base with his nurse and she would tell him I'd give an answer this Thursday. :ph34r: My morning was going pretty good, I avoided running into him and about 9:00 wouldn't you know that he asks around the department my whereabouts and corners me in the copy room. He such a good guy! He plainly asks me if I would do the interview and just represent his office in general. OMG! How could I say "no"? I did tell him I'd let him know at the end of the day BUT I have decided and I am gonna do it. I'm not sure how much I can help another individual but what I do know and I gave it alot of thought last night and today, MY surgery is like a tattoo, people get a tattoo for symbolism. They get a tattoo to make a statement and a tattoo is meant to be seen and not hidden. My surgery is my tattoo, its obvious that my body and appearance is changing. I'm going to get looks by everyone and I should be proud that I'm doing something good for me, something that makes me proud to have done, proud to be looked at other than as the chubby girl with a pretty smile. I'm truly honored that I was one of the patients he chose to be interviewed and displayed. Maybe GOD picked me so I can be comfortable with who I am rather than who I'm used to being. Its time to come out of my cocoon and let my wings be seen.
 
I'll keep you posted on the whole interview/recording journey. Wish me luck, IM GONNA NEED IT! YIKES!!!

This weekend was B U S Y for us.  We had lots of events and although it was jammed packed, it was a blast.  So if you've read any of my forum posts you no doubt know that I have a very close friend who had RnY (3 years ago). 
 
This weekend I got to see her.  She still looks awesome. I even noticed that some of her saggy skin reduced.  Now she does go to the gym 6 days a week and doesn't cheat.  Plus she is not an emotional eater.  All in all she did her homework and really follows the plans set by her Nut and surgeon.
 
It was great to see her.  While we were at her house, I made the big announcement to everyone (RnY friend already knew) that I was having WLS.  I told them I had decided on the sleeve.  Everyone was very supportive...even my one friend who doesn't "believe in WLS". 
 
The icing on the cake was that another friend in our group of 4 said she too is having surgery.  She was considering the band but hadn't done any research so she was not sure which surgery she'd have.  We (RnY friend) and I did tell her that if she uses our surgeon, he won't recommend the band.  She asked a lot of questions and we were honest but didn't try to convince her of anything other than the results.
 
I was very happy to hear she is considering WLS.  She too has struggled with being overweight her whole life.  It was funny because we both tend to yo-yo together.  We ride the highs and lows of weight together.  When I looked at some of our old pics, yup, we were big at the same time and thinner at the same time.  I guess we really are born 4 days apart...although she is older. 
 
I'm really happy to have someone else to go through this journey with me.  I need all the support I can get.

This is a rant, so I apologize in advance for being all over the place...
 
So the last few days I've had ZERO motivation to work out.  I'm just coming off my cycle so I know that's part of it.  However, I just feel so blah.  Part of me knows it is the cold weather too, the sunny days, late nights of summer...I hate the heat but love the summer...
 
Okay back on task...I'm just in a funk regarding exercise.  I walk daily but that is not enough.  I have literally every exercise DVD, tape, etc. known to man.  So there is variety I'm just not feeling it.  I even have an exercise bike, bands, weights, you name it but still no motivation.
 
I had the great idea to buy something (my other form of therapy I'm working on) a new workout outfit and a new piece of equipment.  I thought I'd buy either a home gym thingy (like the one Chuck Norris uses) or a treadmill (my 3rd one - I've given the others away).  Then I thought I'd buy one of those exercise chairs like on the Steve Harvey show, (see it here) until I saw it was $700 for something I can basically make myself.  Don't judge me, it takes me a while to figure out the real deal with me sometimes.
 
That's when I knew I was avoiding the real problem...no motivation. I've never been the type that gets a rush after exercising.  Even when I was thinner I didn't feel all giddy after working out.  It was/is a means to an end. 
 
Now don't get me wrong...I love belly dance, pilates, and bollywood dance.  So I know there are things I enjoy.  I think I'm just a combo of bored and lazy.  Plus, when I do those, I don't get as good a workout as when I used to hit the gym or lift weights.  So it feels like they are not worth my time. I do tolerate callanetics and t-tap which are good exercises but man they get boring really quick.
 
Which brings me to my next point...I don't want to go to the gym.  My days are literally full enough without going to a gym for a hour a day (I live in the country rual suburbs).  Plus, to pay for what I already have at home seems like a huge waste.
 
After all this, I guess there is no real point to my post other than I'm bored and lazy.  I guess I'll get back to my pilates and callanetics and maybe buy myself something to use when doing pilates.  Don't judge me, I'm still a work in progress.

Last night I went for my Surgeon Seminar.  There the surgeon discussed all things WLS.  He also, made a few points that I think I knew deep down (I'll get to that in a bit). 
 
However, what had me really worried and upset was the wait times.  He mentioned he is one of only 2 Kaiser surgeons in my area.  Yes the DC Metro Area.  So that means, a really long wait.  In fact, one guy there last night mentioned he was not only approved, but also met with the surgeon 3 months ago and was still waiting on his date.
 
What..A...Bummer!  6 months pre-qualification only to find out you have to wait 6 more months!?!?  This guy (on tap for a Feb surgery) will have waited a full year from his initial meeting.  That is horrible.  I realize you don't want your surgeon to rush, but I mean 1 year.  That is a long time especially given that 6 months of that was AFTER you qualified.
 
So after getting over that.  I was happy that my husband seemed a lot more at ease and learned a lot about the WLS.  Much of the pre and post-op diet "stuff" I knew from stalking reading this site.  But I was glad he had a chance to hear the risks and other information so he wouldn't be worried about me.
 
Now, the interesting part...the surgeon totally disagreed with the diet the Nuts have been promoting for post-op.  He mentioned that there was absolutely no way anyone would lose weight following their diet.  He said in fact it would lead to gains. 
 
The reason he didn't agree is that he said the amount of carbs (via fruits and veggies) the Nuts want us to eat, would be too high.  (I totally knew this but thought I must be wrong).  He said, he wants us to stick to 30g of carbs a day (if possible for life).  He mentioned that 1 small banana would overshoot the 30g alone.  So he said, throw out the idea that we need these pretty meals that have...a protein, veggie, fruit, grain, etc. and especially the idea of 6 meals.  Sure a snack perhaps but 6 small meals...no way.
 
I'm so glad he mentioned that because I know for a fact, even though I love berries, I have to eat them sparingly if I am going to lose weight.  He also mentioned what we all know already about walking and other exercise daily.  But...and this is a big BUT...
 
I had NO clue that I'd have to give myself shots twice a day for 2 weeks post-op.  This is to prevent blood clots which is certainly important.  BUT I am the biggest punk when it comes to needles and didn't even have to do this after my very painful c-section.  I mean I'm a cry, roll around on the ground, really low threshold type of punk person. 
 
This surprised me.  I thought I'd take something orally.  His response, no, the shots or no surgery.  I didn't expect to have to inject myself twice a day.  So, all in all I guess it is a good thing that I have a few months longer before surgery.  I'll use that to build up enough courage to do those darn shots.

I've noticed something and I can't quite figure it out.  Every AM (usually around 7) for breakfast I have a protein shake (Syntrax Nectar) in which I add - Greek yogurt, 1 c. almond milk, 1 Del-Monte fruit cup.  I blend and then sip (yes still this is a challenge).
 
This keeps me full all AM (even through my commute where I walk and stand a lot).  Usually by the time I feel hungry it is between 12:15 - 12:30 PM.  However, I've tried having the same thing for lunch and it is a no go.
 
If I have the shake for lunch (12:30 PM) I am literally starving by 3 PM.  I'm not sure why this doesn't keep me full in the afternoon.  I'd like to get to the point where I can do 2 shakes and a small dinner. 
 
I like the feeling after the shake (feel satisfied but not weighed down) but it is such a no go twice in one day.  Anyone experience this?  Any suggestions?
 
I'm not trying to do this every day, but on my busy days I just don't always have time for a full sit down lunch.

Insurance approval was faxed to my surgeon today! I'm approved! We'll be setting a surgery date within the coming days! I'm SOOOOOO excited!