scareinesonues

Alright friends! I have been home now for two weeks, I am so happy that I was approved for three weeks off!!
I am starting to feel much better, I am still struggling with the 6 inch wound and that healing process is a lot slower than I would have anticipated, however, it does get better each day!
 
I am starting to feel better every day, sleeping is still a struggle, however the dr. said it will take about 8 weeks before I can lay on my belly. (I am a belly sleeper) so I struggle laying on my back! Each time I had a laporscopic surgery it took 6 weeks before I could lay on my belly so 8 weeks isnt bad for the open procedure!
 
This week I made a vow to keep busy and NO naps during the day since I have to go back to work next week! This ma be harder than I think but I have to get back to normal sooner or later!
 
Hope everyone is doing good!

Angela

Hello sleevers.
I am starting today my 6 month liquid/1 moderate meal diet today. I am very scared and excited at the same time. I am hoping that I do not fail at this. I want to become a person that knows her limitations and what to and not to eat/drink. I need to have more will power. I have 3 daughters which is going to make this hard because I am still going to have to cook meals for them and see them have snacks and fast food (two weaknesses of mine). I know that my family is here for support but when my hubby is at work I dont have someone here to say no...I think I am going to have to post little post it notes all through the house so I stay strong. I will keep in touch daily and let you know how I am doing. I hope to get some feed back from pre sleevers and post sleevers

via Youtube... 
 
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Countdown to Surgery: 47 days!
 
I can think of nothing but having surgery. I really need time to just speed forward. I've been trying to start some projects so I have something to keep me busy. I am doing NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and I need to go through my summer clothes and bag them, and I have been researching some issues I am having with my skin. I also have a ton of books I'm reading, so I should be pretty well occupied. I think I will set a reading goal to hit X books before I leave for surgery. That'll keep me really busy!
 
I have been eating like boo boo for about a week. It stops today. I don't even know what I weigh, but my knees tell me I am over 250. I've tossed out what crap I didn't eat. Last night's dinner of meatball parm and garlic rolls was the last decadent meal I will have until Thanksgiving probably. I am practicing being on a liquid diet today. I have water, Atkins shakes, chicken and beef broth and that drink and eat chicken soup.I forgot jello. DANG! Tomorrow.
 
I should be good go to go today. I'll probably continue it to tomorrow and weigh in on Tuesday. if I could head to Mexico in the 230's, that would be great. My knees would thank me and I would be more comfy on the plane.
 
Another tip that my bestie gave me: Get a coffee cup warmer! Especially if you plan to eat a lot of Unjury chicken soup, you'll have to sip so slowly that it won't stay warm long. You can't warm it up in the microwave because it will clump and curdle. I plan to get a hotpot and a warmer to keep upstairs because I spend a ton of time up in my room. I am almost never downstairs. And yes, I brought my extra microwave up here, LOL.
 
I also need to make a list of things I need to pick up to take with me. It takes me forever to get things together so starting now would be a good idea. Today I picked up some long sleeved shirts. I will go get more pairs of leggings and some socks and that is going to be my fashion for those days I am in surgery. I also need some sports bras, because I am not going to wrestle into a Lane Bryant bra after surgery.

Countdown Clock 48 days to surgery.
 
Went on a bit of a shopping spree yesterday, so a few packages are going to be coming to me in the next week or so. My Clarisonic Mia has shipped and should arrive in about 5 days.
 
I also ordered some wild growth hair oil, which was recommended by a friend that I call my hair guru. She's really just a product junkie that keeps her finger on the pulse of black hair care. She recommended this stuff for my edges. I'm also hoping to get some thickness back in my hair. Once I have the surgery, I am guaranteed to lose hair so I want to thicken it up a little bit before then. I used to have a lot of hair, but it has really thinned out in recent years.
 
I ordered a new coat from Target. It'll be the last plus sized coat I buy. It's tight in the arms but I am keeping it because soon I hope to be swimming in it. It'll be a nice gauge to me for weight loss. When that coat is too big I will rejoice.
 
I also have some vitamins and biotin on the way. Going to start getting in the habit of taking them now.
 
I went to the gas station yesterday and because I was hungry I let myself buy some junk, so that's all I had for dinner last night. And I have more of it today. What I SHOULD do is throw it away and go to the store and get some protein, some sugar free jello and some water. Maybe later on...... I DO want to start ramping down the junk, because I have 38 days before I will be on a liquid diet before surgery.
 
Yesterday I went to lunch with a coworker and ended up telling her about the surgery. She and I work closely together so there is no way she won't notice. I will also tell my boss, but I believe that's about it, from work. Eventually everyone will know but I want to keep my plans to have the procedure under wraps right now. Anyway, we were talking about how great the new year is going to be with a whole new me. "Can you imagine," I said. "I could be down by 50 pounds by my birthday at the end of March. That would put me under 200 pounds. I haven't been under 200 pounds since college. That's CRAZY!"
 
I'm ready for some crazy.

Hi. Welcome to my quest.
 
I turned 38 on March 25th at a whopping 273 lbs-- the heaviest I have ever been on my birthday. I dieted down to about 243 by June 1.... and then bounced between 243 and 238 ever since. As of this moment I am sure I am over 250.
 
I have been fat since my teens, so a very long time. I have been as low as 218, but I haven't seen that number since the end of 2007. I haven't been under 200 lbs since I was in high school.
 
On top of that, I am legally blind and I wear very thick glasses. I am awkward, shy, and painfully introverted. A fun night in is a bowl of popcorn and a good book or all my internet buddies. I know nothing about makeup and most days I don't give a crap what I look like. I don't date at all. Men aren't interested in me even if I wanted to date, so that makes it easy to just not care.
 
I am scheduled for Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy on December 21, 2012. I've told myself that I have a bit over a year to get my act together and be 'fahn'-- not pretty, not 'okay if you're looking at her from far away', not 'well the fat one has a pretty face', not 'would be so pretty if she was thin'-- FAHN. It's a word that my friends and I use when we mean more than pretty, more than beautiful, more than hot, more than sexy.
 
FAHN. By 40. I will be there.
 
Since I have a bit of time before my surgery and I am ANXIOUS about it, I need a project to distract me. I am going through things I want to do to make changes and one of those things is my face. Well, the skin on it. I have facial hair, I have melasma (dark brown patch on my cheek), I have stubby eyelashes, I don't wear makeup and I don't really give a second thought to what my brows look like. Tangentially my hair is frequently just in a ponytail. I don't do anything to it and rarely have the desire to. So to distract myself I am working a bit on my appearance while I prep for life changing surgery.
 
I have ordered a Clarisonic Mia and I'll be tracking it in Nov to see if things improve on my face. I am also looking to get a scrip for Vaniqua so that I can start stunting the growth of hair. Drinking more water to make sure my skin stays clear, once I get it there. And in general starting to care about myself and my appearance.
 
My dad was recently in town and preached to me about loving myself. I'm trying, dad. Working on it.
 
A few befores. May I never be this fat again. I'm the one in orange/ the one in the long dress w/blue sweater
 

My Nut has me changing a few behaviors that she says will make things a bit easier post-op.  As I've worked to do these things I've noticed some things about myself I've been doing that have worked completely against me.  I didn't realize just how much the little things matter. 
Eating slower - my Mom used to make us chew 20 times before we swallowed.  Who knew that eating slower would also make me eat less?  As an adult of course I thought, okay I don't need to eat that slow now that my Mom is not sitting a the table watching me eat.  Well low and behold, I do need to eat that slow or else my lower calorie count would not sustain me.  3 months into this and I still have to remind myself to eat slower. I do find that after a while I just get tired of eating so I put the food up or avoid food just so it doesn't take me a hour to eat 300 calories. That's a whole other issue I'm overcoming.    Smaller bites - this goes hand-in-hand with eating slower.  I didn't realize just how much I cram into my mouth at one time.  I reallllllly struggle with this. I remember being so happy when I didn't have to cut up my kids' food so small as they got more teeth.  Who knew I'd end up having to cut up my own food so small?  I know this is necessary, but I have to admit i feel like a loser sometimes when I do this in front of people.Sipping - I come from a family of gulpers.  We can keep a waiter/ress on the run for drink refills.  I enjoy water and protein shakes and tea and coffee (decafe) and heck anything but beer and until recently wine.  This is by far the hardest part so far of my new eating style.  I averaged 80-100 oz of water alone daily.  Now I'm lucky if I hit my 80 oz. Sipping causes me to drink so much less water and I've all but cut out everything else to encourage getting my water in. It also never quite leaves my thirst quenched.  I'm always thirsty now.Strawlessness - probably not a word, but it sucks.  I love straws.  I used to go out and buy cute colorful and decorative ones.  I am having a hard time learning to overcome the thought of putting my mouth on a glass after someone has handed it to me.  YUCK!  Didn't realize I was so OCD about this until my Nut said no more straws.  The plus side is that it does encourage me to not drink while I eat or to drink at all while I'm out.No drinking when eating - I get thristy (see sipping above).  I like to drink while I eat.  Having to stop this has made me realize, I didn't need to drink when I ate.  Simply this is more of a culturally learned behavior. The only time I miss drinking when I eat is if I consume bread, sweets, or crackers.  All my no-nos so it is funny that when I purposely eat something I shouldn't it makes me thirsty.Drinking calories - I could live off of protein shakes, frappes, and iced coffee.  While protein shakes are good, all the other things I like to drink aren't so much. I am always on the go and for a while I sustained myself on Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks.  It wasn't until I truly started documenting EVERYTHING I consumed that I realized 1 of my fave drinks was almost all my daily calories.  Ouch! That hurt because I just knew saying skim, or lite was really helping...sike!  It was not doing a darn thing.  Lesson learned!VST is really helping me because at first I thought my Nut was being really strict.  The more I read the more I see that these are the exact behaviors I will need to maintain post-op.  I really appreciate all of you sharing your stories and helping me not get annoyed with my Nut to see the bigger picture. 

In years past this has been the night (okay one of the nights) I wished my kids would go to bed without incident.  Why?  So that their Dad and I could raid their candy!
 
Tonight this ritual will still take place, only without me.  I won't be able to participate because I am choosing not to cheat myself.  I'm still on Kaiser's 6-month pre-op eating plan.  Well not really a plan but more like proof that you can eat well for 6 consecutive months. 
 
So I've decided while my husband and cousins (oh yes, we will have company for the first time ever on Halloween) raid the kids' bags, I will try something else.  Yes, this took a lot of planning.  I went from frustrated, to sad, to angry (at myself for having to even refrain myself), to acceptance - - this is me and I have to learn to deal.
 
At first I thought I'd just go to bed early.  But come on, really, could I go to bed with my cousins over?  Then I thought I would make a shake...nah, I want something crunchy.  Oh well I guess I'll just sit and watch them have fun.  Then it hit me...get rid of the stupid all or nothing thinking. 
 
I want to participate but I know I can't afford to cheat.  Sure I could lose the 2 lbs. again that I've already lost but why even set myself up?  Rather, I'll have my own version of "candy" (a granola bar that fits into my plan) and then go walk my dog. 

So I've been thinking a lot about the aspects of the sleeve that scare me.  I'm pretty good at letting my imagination run wild so I've come up with the following:
Loose skin - yes, I'll admit I want to look darn good after going through such a drastic weightloss process.  I see that as a sort of reward for all the hard work.  What if I look worse with loose skin than I look now with the weight?  I love my curves and being tall I've been told I carry them well, but I know they are conspiring against me long term.  So I have to lose weight to stay healthy but man would I like to have a nice firm look post-weight loss.
    Big head - okay this is sort of comical but yes, I don't want my already big "apple-ish" head to look like a bobble head.  This is one of those things that logically seems stupid but in my mind seems like a real concern.
    Questions - what happens when someone I haven't seen in years sees me and asks how I lost the weight?  Will I tell them about my surgery, tell them I changed my diet and started exercising, heck change the subject?  I wonder about that but guess this is one of those in the moment decisions based on who I'm talking to.
    Shopping - will I go overboard now that I can afford cheaper clothes?  I am already the shop until I drop type...what happens when it takes me longer to drop?  Will I go overboard and thus broke? I'm sure my hubby won't let that happen, but still I wonder if I'll be one of those people who trade an addiction to food in for an addiction to shopping.
    Socializing -  I have a few friends who have struggled with their weight and thus we tend to have "active" social events.  However, more of my friends live to eat and our events ALWAYS involve food.  How will I handle these events as I'm working hard to lose the weight?  Will I have to not attend or always show up early/late (way before/after the meal)?
    Pain/complications/death - let me be frank...I am a pure punk don't handle pain well.  My c-section took forever to heal and even 3 years after I still had pain when attempting to work out.  Thus, I stopped really working out on a regular basis.  What if this surgery feels like that?  Or worse, what if I have the same limited mobility for months after this surgery that I had after my c-section and can't work out like my doctor wants? Or even worse, what if I do this and it takes me from my husband and children?  This especially concerns me because I don't have any health problems other than the extra weight.
    Going bald - (see big head above) I have very fine hair.  The thought of my scalp showing is well "not hot" in my Tamar Braxton voice.  I am of the mindset that hair grows back, but I would also like to keep my hair if possible.  I go through great pains to make my hair look full and thick now, so with even less...well, that would be a real challenge.
    What if all this doesn't work/last - I'm sure everyone has thought this at some point.  I worry that I may be the only person in history for which this doesn't accomplish my goal.  I have about 200 lbs to lose and I worry that I just won't make it to goal.  I understand the goal is to be healthier but right now I have no health problems other than the extra weight.  What if my goal of getting to onederland just doesn't happen?I realize when I look at my list that I have read in the forums at least one topic on each (maybe not the big head fear) of these and it feels good not to be alone.  In reading one post a Sleeve Veteran said (paraphrasing here) that it is normal to wonder and fear the unknown about this surgery.  That makes me feel better about taking this seriously and also lets me know I am committed enough to not let the not-so-glamorous parts of this surgery deter me.

It feels good to get these fears out in the open and to laugh at how silly some of these sound.
 

By reading my blog's title you no doubt know that I am a Type A personality.  I've been this way for pretty much my entire life.  The biggest hurdle for me in deciding to have WLS (for over 2 years now) is that I am the type of person who can usually do anything I set my mind to.
 
I have always believed and found if one person could do something and I tried hard enough I could do it too.  The problem is that there are truly some things for which I could use a little help.  For me it is losing weight, keeping the weight off.
 
For years I didn't want to believe that I needed help.  Every Jan. 1st I thought, okay this year, I'll buckle down and just lose the weight.  How hard could it be, people on TV, in magazines, etc. do this every day.  I'll be one of them.  I won't take the easy way out (WLS).
 
So year after year, I not only didn't lose, I gained...and gained well.  Did I mention I'm also a high achiever?  If there were pounds to be gained, I gained them.  It seemed like no matter what I did, the weight not only packed on, but packed on in abundance.  I'd lose a bit and then gain more than I lost.
 
Finally, I thought okay this is it.  Obviously I need help so I'll go meet with a nutritionist.  I did and let me tell you, I have never felt so confused/lost/helpless in all my life.  Sure those pyramid charts look great but man, who in the world can construct a meal hitting every food group, with the right portions, and live any kind of life?  I'd literally have to spend all day planning meals...who has that kind of time???
 
But I'm determined, I will do this, I need to do this I figured.  So she and I came up with a menu.  Well let me tell you about that menu...I ate that menu every day for 3 weeks.  Why?  I didn't want to eat anything wrong.  So at my next apt she had me weigh in.  Great, surely I would have lost something.  Lord please let me have lost something.
 
I stepped on the scale and sure enough I gained.  Yup, with all that weighing and eating and buying ONLY what she told me to, I still gained weight.  Talk about a bummer.  Again, if there are pounds to be gained they would find me.
 
I looked at her at that moment and said, I need more help.  That moment was major for me.  I'm not used to needing asking for help.  That took both humility and courage for me to say that out loud.
 
My Nut then looked at me and said surgery might be the answer for me.  Then she looked at me and asked, so how was it?  By this time I'm sad, frustrated, and ready to shake this little woman.  How was what I asked her (not in my most pleasant voice that's for sure). 
 
She said how was it to weigh your food and restrict your diet.  I told her at first it was a challenge (although I'd done it before during other countless diets) but had I lost weight I'd think it was worth it.  I wasn't hungry this time like during the other diets.  She then went on to explain that my body was in starvation mode.  I wasn't eating enough (a big girl not eating enough...really????) and by finally eating the right foods in the right quantities, in the long run with surgery I could meet or even surpass my weight loss goals.
 
Clever!  She helped me see that WLS was not in any way the easy way out and that help was available if I would just get over myself seek it. I needed that.  I had mixed feelings about surgery because again (my mind began telling me) I could do this if only I just buckled down...or so I thought.  It took a while but now I'm at peace with my decision.
 
There is still some disappointment in myself that I could not somehow just do something that would make the weight fall off.  But I'm dealing with that.  I also had to realize that it is okay to ask for help.  That asking for help is not being weak, but rather being wise.
 
This is going to be a challenge but I'm approaching this process with a feeling of relaxation and a one-day-at-a-time attitude as opposed to an I-have-to-control-this attitude.  I understand I have to be in control of what I eat and how I exercise my body, but I don't have to feel like I need to control every minute of this process.  That helps a lot and makes this much different than any of the other times I've tried to lose weight.
 

HAS ANYONE GONE THROUGH THE MIND GAME BEFORE SURGERY WHAT IF THIS AND WHAT THAT WORRIED IF THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN AND IF THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN I KNOW GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE ME.... THE DEVIL HAS ALL KIND OF MIND TRICKS I HATE HIM SO MUCH (THE DEVIL THAT IS)

Today I meet with my Nut.  It is part of my 6 month pre-surgery requirement from Kaiser.  I have a secret...
 
I really don't like meeting with my Nut.
 
Okay there I said it...My Nut and I were kind of thrown together.  I originally met with another Nut (A).  She was great.  Honest but firm and helpful.  She treated you like a partner and held you accountable. 
 
I had my first meeting with Nut A where she sat and helped me come up with a plan.  I then had my second meeting with her where we decided I would pursue surgery.  We tweaked my plan and she scheduled me for a third.  That's when the problem started.  She is just too darn popular.
 
Everyone (or at least most in my area) wants to work with her.  Again, she is great.  However, to meet with her you literally have to schedule 2-3 months out.  By the time of my 3rd appointment, she didn't have anything available for 2 months.
 
I didn't want to add even more months to my 6 month process so I agreed to meet with another Nut (.  Nut B is the exact opposite of A.  She makes you feel lousy no matter how well you do.  It is like she tries to not be happy.
 
At my last appointment I lost 5 lbs.  This was major for me. Not because I haven't lost weight before, but this time I didn't do anything crazy extreme.  I was proud that I stuck to the plan (from Nut A) and increased my exercise.  Her response? 
 
 
I'm going to pause here to let you know something - - that little lady almost caught big time attitude.  I think time stopped for about 30 minutes as my mind processed how to not show my tail in there.  I didn't get rude, rather I reminded her that I ALWAYS wear my walking shoes to each meeting because I come directly from work and have to take public transportation.
 
You see, she is simply not easy to work with.  In fact, at my last meeting with Nut B, she received a call that someone else (apparently this is common) is leaving her to work with Nut A.  Instead of being phased she proceeded to insult the guy - in front of me.  Wow! - - and these 2 examples are the "nicer" ones regarding my interactions with her.
 
My point for writing this...it is a challenge that I'm having to overcome.  Working with her is actually helping me to see that this really is for me...not her or anyone else...me.  It gives me perspective that not everyone cares that I am losing weight.  Not everyone cares that I stick to my plan.  Not everyone wants to hear my crap (good or bad) regarding this change in my lifestyle.
 
Sure, my Nut should want to be more of a partner with me but her job is to supervise my progress and provide correction to my plan when needed.  Her job is to ensure that I stick this through and meet Kaiser's requirements and not to be my friend.  Her stand-offish (is that even a word?) behavior helps me to keep my focus on doing this for me and not for someone else's approval. 
 
I stick with my Nut (such an appropriate name sometimes) because she does have a high success rate.  Very high, even though she is not the most liked.  Her people tend to be very independent and exceed their set goals.  So there is a method to her madness. 

TOMORROW IS THE BIG DAY........ :/ )

46 Days. Yes I have a countdown timer on my phone and my iPad. I need to know exactly how many days I have to procrastinate getting anything done in time for surgery.
 
I can think of NOTHING else right now. Everything revolves around Dec 21st. I've given myself a couple of projects to keep me occupied so I am not sitting at home staring at 4 walls, willing time to move forward. Lots of boards to read and things I need to get and lists to make.
 
I am practicing the liquid diet right now. I need to ease into these things so yesterday and today I am liquid. Next week I will do three days and the following four days etc. I start the liquid diet on Dec 101, I believe. Plenty of time to ramp down. I would actually like to hit the table in the 230's. I am not required to lose any weight but I would just feel more comfy on the plane if I dropped a little bit.

Well, I am doing good today! Maybe because my husband was nice enough to sleep out on the sectional with me last night. It felt like a slumber party!
 
I have my first post op appointment with Dr. Kemmerling Tuesday and it can't come fast enough, maybe he will clear me for puree two days early!
 
I feel like I am healing pretty darn good! My 5 inch long incision doesn't look so scary, it looks ALMOST gone, just a few more days and it will just be a pink mark. The doctor will cut my one stitch and it will feel a lot better, I remember that from last time I had a stitch by my incision.
 
I have only 4 more days and I am onto puree! I will not lie, I cheated a bit today. :ph34r: I was not sure how things would taste so after I made my husband (Golash- Hamburger, noodles, corn, string green beans, milk and cream of mushroom soup) It tasted so freeeekin good. I am SO ready for the puree time to come. I told my husband that I cheated (he ran up north to bait for hunting) and he was really upset at me, and I felt bad but that little cheat gave me some hope that the days will get a bit easier.
 
High hopes for the rest of my and everyone's recovery! (I am having a little "stabbing" pain every once in a while on my right side but it may just be muscle pain
 
I just have to keep taking it one step at a time! That't my anthem song, think it fits well.
 
Stay positive everyone!!!!
Ang

Wow, I feel I have progressed 10 fold overnight! I have had such an amazing day, pain is still bugging me where I took a dose of the "hard" meds from the dr. but all in all, great day.
 
I really want to start the puree diet BAD, I would vow to stay on it for three weeks but I know my tummy inside needs to heal.
 
:/

I was beyond scared having to get this procedure open. I have had several lap. procedures and most rec. had to have my lap band removed. The last surgery did not go well, a lot of gas was trapped and I was not able to move it out. I had a lot of problems breathing and ended up in the emergency room with an evil potential blood clot in my lung. My dr. decided that he would only move forward with the open approach.
 
My journey started Friday 7:00am when I was wheeled off for my open sleeve procedure. My husband gave me a hug an kiss and told me he was so proud of me. The procedure went well with no complications! I woke up to see my mom and husband waiting for me in the recovery room. But when I first awoke I was in complete shock at the amount of pain I was in, I was not mentally ready to handle it either! I have had 5 lap type surgeries and none of those pains added together compare to his pain I am experiencing from the open.
 
Day one, Friday. Shock, pain but loved to hit that little button to relieve the pain. I was told that I had to get up and walk at least 6 times. WHAT? I could barley sit up! So I hit the button and took a walk one lap around the floor. My nurse said that most people with open procedure only make it to the door! (So I did good) Each walk I did one lap. I had some great nurses Friday night! Mom came back with Auntie Cherrie, my sisters Allie and Katlyn of course my husband Jeremy was with me.
 
Day two, Saturday. I felt worse but got up and walked 8 times. No one but my husband came to visit me but that's okay, I was so out of it and in pain I didn't want anyone around.
 
Day three. Sunday I felt a bit better my husband came in with some shampoo and conditioner, he washed me up with a washrag, and managed to wash my hair for me. (Such an amazing man!) He also brought me my makeup bag so not only was I clean I "put my face on" to feel a bit better! I had lots of visitors Sunday. My mother and father in law stopped by with a gift of circle a words and some fun socks. My sister in law and her fiancee stopped with a card and cool new drinking cup. During the visit Dr. Kemmerling came in to test my breathing, he was upset that I had to go on oxygen during the night. He got right up in my face coaching "in, in, in,in,in,in, come on Angela." Boy he scared the crap out of me, but made it clear I need to focus on my breathing!. My sister and brother in-law and my two little nieces came to visit with some cards (home made)-the best! The kids have never seen someone in the hospital before so they were a bit shocked, but got over those leg squeezies! Then my aunt, uncle, god son and little cousin came up with a card and a surprise that will arrive ups today! (wonder what they got me?) At one point we had 10 people in the room. I felt like a million bucks!
 
Day four, Monday. I had a LOT of walks in before my husband got to the hospital. I felt better but the stomach pains were not getting any better, in face I kept feeling that they were getting worse and hard to breath. I really wanted to go home and was in high hopes Dr. would let me go! The dr. came in and said I can try liquids and maybe go home (tomorrow) -WHAT? Ugh! My friend Michelle came to visit me for a bit to get some girl talk in which was so great. Later on my husband, mom and sister kept me company. I worked hard on my breathing and had in 10 walks with double laps!
 
Day five, Tuesday. I sat till 2:00 before the dr. came in to release me. I was very scared to leave since that night my iv slipped and cause my hand to grow into a baseball, I was in a lot of pain and didn't want to walk away from that magic pain button. But I did it. I managed to get home, my doggies were so excited to see me and did a good job of no jumping, they could tell something was wrong. I had a LOT of pain this day and was happy when my hubby got home with my pain meds, I slept a lot.
 
Day six, Wednesday. I feel I did okay, I guess considering I was home alone. I took a shower by myself, got pants and a top on. No chance I could do undies and a bra. I slipped on flip fops and took a walk outside down the driveway and back. I really struggled being by myself and again took lots of pain meds and went to sleepy town.
I felt better when my husband came home from work! My spirits went up a lot, until he made a pizza for dinner and I was reminded I am only sipping liquids. (Smelled so good). We went for a small car ride to get me out of the house and it felt good to not be cooped up!
 
Day seven, Thursday. I woke up today feeling a bit better, less pain and a bit easier to move around. I still struggle to move, and can not bend over. I am in high hopes that each day I get better, and just take one step at a time to make it through the day. I got up at 6:00 and that's when I was able to take more pain meds, it's 8:12 and I haven't taken any yet. I am going to attempt a shower and hope that I can avoid that pain med, I have a feeling I will need it soon, I just tried to adjust in my seat and had a hard time! We will see what today brings.
 
Overall, this pain is unreal, very hard to move, lean over, pick things up, just to do any normal activities. I really hope that I can put my own socks on soon!
 
Angela

So I would be a big fibber if I said this week was easy. I am kinda falling apart, I am snapping at my poor husband but eat a cupcake (3) in front of a all liquid diet wife. I almost punched him, and his mom for sending them home with him!
 
I just had a sugar free apple cider and walked away VERY grumpy.
 
Only 3 more days of this! Then two more weeks, lol.
 
I am off of my soap box and will realx about this, it's the beginning of my new life.