NewKezia

Hmmm, where to start??? I guess right around puberty I began my path to total chubbiness. As long as I can remember I have been overweight. All of the women in my family look just like me. For the past few years I have been interested in weight loss surgery, but I have always been afraid. You see, I am a nurse. I see all the bad effects of WLS....the dehydration, abscesses, food intolerance, etc. It all scared me away. I have three children, ages 20, 7, and 6. The two youngest ones asked me one day, "Mommy, why are you so fat?" I knew they were just curious, but it killed me inside. I think for many years I have pretended that I wasn't really THAT BIG, and that I could lose weight if I REALLY tried. I finally stopped lying to myself and made an appointment. We have a wonderful Bariatric Center of Excellance about one hour from here in the middle of the beautiful Adirondacks. I went to my appointment just for information. I was embarrassed, ashamed, and curious. The staff was warm, caring, and completely nonjudgemental. In fact, the head nurse had WLS herself. When she said, "Jeez, when I was really big I would of given anything to look like you!". I blushed, who would want to look like me? She told me that at her heaviest she weighed close to 400lbs. I weighed in at 283. Sometimes I feel like maybe I am not heavy enough to make such a drastic change, but then I remind myself that I am still 100lbs overweight, even after losing 21lbs on my own. I would be lying if I were to say that I'm not scared to death. I have many friends who support my choice, and a few that can't believe that I am doing it. My family is behind me 100%. I am ready to get rid of the "Old Kezia" and become the "New Kezia". Bill Cosby once said, "Decide you want it more than you are afraid of it." That is what I am holding on to. Surgery date is November 27, 2012