BeverlyW

Hello. My name is Beverly and I am currently 63 years old. I live in San Diego, CA where it is always warm and sunny and there are beaches, zoos and parks along with a great social life. But I have not been able to go out to enjoy them for 10 years because I weighed 389 lbs. I couldn't get off the couch or out of bed without help. I couldn't wear normal clothes. Just big muumuus. I couldn't walk so I rode an electric cart with a specially ordered extra large seat. When I went to a restaurant or an office I couldn't sit in a regular chair. Once I fell down while trying to walk in a store and I could not get up. I was so embarrassed I cried. It took three men to get me off the floor. I knew I had to do something. I am a mother of seven grown children, a grandmother of eighteen grandchildren and a great grandmother of five. I was very sick with Kidney problems, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, arthritis and severe anemia. In short I was dying.
Then my doctor sent me to UCSD to a seminar for weight loss. I was told that I probably couldn't get it done because of my insurance but they filled out my paperwork and I went home figuring all was lost. Then just 10 months later I got the call to come in. The psychiatrist asked me what I wanted out of this surgery and my response was " I want to ride a bicycle again or skate with my grandchildren. I want to be able to go to the beach and walk in the surf again. When I was in my twenties and thirties I weighed 155 lbs and looked wonderful. I wanted that back. Of course it was too much to ask for since I am twice that age now but a girl can dream, right?
So I went on the pre diet and did quite well. I had my surgery on February 15, 2011. One day after my twenty-third wedding anniversary to my wonderful husband. Things didn't go so well in the hospital. I came out of the surgery and stopped breathing in the recovery room. The hospital called my husband and daughter and told them they should hurry back to the hospital because I might not make it. Because I needed so much extra care, they wanted to put me in the ICU care wing but no beds were available so they parked me behind a screen in an empty waiting room and the nurses came every 15 minutes to take blood gasses from my wrists. OMG that hurt so much. Then they put a cpap AND an oxygen mask on me at the same time so being very claustrophobic I kept pulling them off every time they left.
Well after two days in my little ICU space, I got my bed moved into a room full of empty beds and wheelchairs. I don't have much good to say about the care I got there so I will skip to my recovery at home.
I did not have any complications once I got home. They gave me liquid morphine (made me nauseas). The drain was yucky but worked fine. I lost 110 lbs over the next year. Then i began to fail. My husband loves to eat too and pretty soon I was believing that I could eat anything I wanted because my stomach was smaller so I wouldn't be eating that much of it. At the same time I quit taking my Unjury protein because it is expensive. I didn't gain any weight back but I didn't lose anymore for a whole year. I was able to walk now and sit in a chair without getting stuck but bicycle riding is still just a dream. Then over Christmas 2012 I gained eight pounds!! I was hungry all the time. It scared me straight and now I am back to taking my protein drink every day and weighing or measuring everything I eat. I use myfitnesspal.com to log my food and track my weight. Now I am back to losing 1-2 lbs. a day. I still worry every day that I won't be able to stick with it. I have to cook for my husband and watch him eat all day on chips, cookies, pies and pizza, burgers and fried foods. He of course is a normal weight no matter how much he eats. He loves me but he tries to show it by bringing me candy bars after work or buttered popcorn. (He works in a theater). I keep telling him no but he doesn't listen so now I throw it away or make him eat it. But it is really hard to say no to it
I don't have any friends to support me because I was isolated for so long and I cannot go to the support group at ucsd because it is always at night and he works then.
But there is good news too. I was taking 13 pills a day before surgery plus insulin shots. Now I don't have diabetes anymore, my kidneys have improved, I no longer have acute anemia and I only take two medical pills a day besides vitamins and such. I was almost bald and now I have a full head of hair. I can wear clothes again except for my arms. I have a huge bag under each arm and have to hide them with batwing blouses or ponchos.
I went to my plastic surgeon today and was told I have to lose at least 90 more pounds before I can get the apron off my abdomen and that insurance won't pay to take off my arm sags. I feel like a freak when i go out in public but I refuse to be a victim anymore. I am trying so hard to succeed. It would be nice to meet other people with some of these same issues who understand what I am going through and might share some tips and ideas.
I will get my new beach cruiser bicycle by next Christmas! That is my goal. Even if my arms slap me in the face while I ride it. LOL