BeverlyW

Hello. My name is Beverly and I am currently 63 years old. I live in San Diego, CA where it is always warm and sunny and there are beaches, zoos and parks along with a great social life. But I have not been able to go out to enjoy them for 10 years because I weighed 389 lbs. I couldn't get off the couch or out of bed without help. I couldn't wear normal clothes. Just big muumuus. I couldn't walk so I rode an electric cart with a specially ordered extra large seat. When I went to a restaurant or an office I couldn't sit in a regular chair. Once I fell down while trying to walk in a store and I could not get up. I was so embarrassed I cried. It took three men to get me off the floor. I knew I had to do something. I am a mother of seven grown children, a grandmother of eighteen grandchildren and a great grandmother of five. I was very sick with Kidney problems, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, arthritis and severe anemia. In short I was dying. Then my doctor sent me to UCSD to a seminar for weight loss. I was told that I probably couldn't get it done because of my insurance but they filled out my paperwork and I went home figuring all was lost. Then just 10 months later I got the call to come in. The psychiatrist asked me what I wanted out of this surgery and my response was " I want to ride a bicycle again or skate with my grandchildren. I want to be able to go to the beach and walk in the surf again. When I was in my twenties and thirties I weighed 155 lbs and looked wonderful. I wanted that back. Of course it was too much to ask for since I am twice that age now but a girl can dream, right? So I went on the pre diet and did quite well. I had my surgery on February 15, 2011. One day after my twenty-third wedding anniversary to my wonderful husband. Things didn't go so well in the hospital. I came out of the surgery and stopped breathing in the recovery room. The hospital called my husband and daughter and told them they should hurry back to the hospital because I might not make it. Because I needed so much extra care, they wanted to put me in the ICU care wing but no beds were available so they parked me behind a screen in an empty waiting room and the nurses came every 15 minutes to take blood gasses from my wrists. OMG that hurt so much. Then they put a cpap AND an oxygen mask on me at the same time so being very claustrophobic I kept pulling them off every time they left. Well after two days in my little ICU space, I got my bed moved into a room full of empty beds and wheelchairs. I don't have much good to say about the care I got there so I will skip to my recovery at home. I did not have any complications once I got home. They gave me liquid morphine (made me nauseas). The drain was yucky but worked fine. I lost 110 lbs over the next year. Then i began to fail. My husband loves to eat too and pretty soon I was believing that I could eat anything I wanted because my stomach was smaller so I wouldn't be eating that much of it. At the same time I quit taking my Unjury protein because it is expensive. I didn't gain any weight back but I didn't lose anymore for a whole year. I was able to walk now and sit in a chair without getting stuck but bicycle riding is still just a dream. Then over Christmas 2012 I gained eight pounds!! I was hungry all the time. It scared me straight and now I am back to taking my protein drink every day and weighing or measuring everything I eat. I use myfitnesspal.com to log my food and track my weight. Now I am back to losing 1-2 lbs. a day. I still worry every day that I won't be able to stick with it. I have to cook for my husband and watch him eat all day on chips, cookies, pies and pizza, burgers and fried foods. He of course is a normal weight no matter how much he eats. He loves me but he tries to show it by bringing me candy bars after work or buttered popcorn. (He works in a theater). I keep telling him no but he doesn't listen so now I throw it away or make him eat it. But it is really hard to say no to it I don't have any friends to support me because I was isolated for so long and I cannot go to the support group at ucsd because it is always at night and he works then. But there is good news too. I was taking 13 pills a day before surgery plus insulin shots. Now I don't have diabetes anymore, my kidneys have improved, I no longer have acute anemia and I only take two medical pills a day besides vitamins and such. I was almost bald and now I have a full head of hair. I can wear clothes again except for my arms. I have a huge bag under each arm and have to hide them with batwing blouses or ponchos. I went to my plastic surgeon today and was told I have to lose at least 90 more pounds before I can get the apron off my abdomen and that insurance won't pay to take off my arm sags. I feel like a freak when i go out in public but I refuse to be a victim anymore. I am trying so hard to succeed. It would be nice to meet other people with some of these same issues who understand what I am going through and might share some tips and ideas. I will get my new beach cruiser bicycle by next Christmas! That is my goal. Even if my arms slap me in the face while I ride it. LOL

Marcy, Don't let anybody stop you. Even with all the horrors of my surgery which were very unusual, I would do it again in a heartbeat. The pre-diet is hard. I cheated but what I did wasif I couldn't take it I would take a bite of food chew it and spit it out. Just getting the taste for a few minutes worked and I lost all of the weight I needed to plus more. Just don't swallow the food. I know of a person who ate peanut butter two days before her surgery and the day of her surgery they found the peanuts in her stomach and canceled her surgery.

Annabelle, I bought the cutest little dishes and baby spoons just before my surgery. It made eating the tiny bits of food more fun and helped make it less stressful Now I just cut a paper plate into fourths. But anything you can do to make it seem more like an adventure than a chore is a great idea.

To UK Cathy Here is the thing. I definitely eat more than in the beginning. I quit measuring and weighting my food and I think I stretched my stomach. I still get full on half a piece of chicken breast or a cup of soup and 3 shrimp. But if I eat the butter popcorn from the theater and believe me I have, I can eat and eat and eat. I don't gain any weight from eating it but I don't lose any either. When I first got to eat solid food I threw up a few times after just a few bites but I don't ever do that anymore. The problem is that my old urges for junk food are still always there but I am trying to do the pre-surgery diet again for a while. No matter what anyone says Protein, Protein, Protein is really and truly the answer. I use Unjury and believe it is the very best having tried many others but it gets expensive when you are on a fixed income. I quit using it and started losing my hair again and not losing weight.. I have just started back on it two weeks ago and already I have lost 11 more pounds. And my hair looks better. It helps stop the need to graze on popcorn and chips. If they are in the house though I will eat them so I have told my husband sorry but no more in the house. He can keep them in his car and eat them at work on his breaks. He agreed to do that for me.

Trust me Annabelle, when you get past the recovery period you will love yourself more and more each day. Even while going through recovery I was happier each day, especially since I almost died during surgery. My biggest fear is that my eating is emotionally motivated and surgery doesn't take away addictive behavior. I really wanted to go to a psychiatrist but my insurance won't pay for it. I am on disability and only get medi-cal *** which is awful. But I digress.

When is your surgery?

Thanks for the reply. I have told him and told him. He will say how proud he is of me but he doesn't help. I think he is afraid that I might leave him if I get too thin. That is ridiculous but he liked me big. I will not fail and neither will you. We have to love ourselves enough to do it. I'm hoping chatting on here will help me feel less alone. But I cannot figure out why my pictur loads sideways on my profile and how to make it rotate. Lol