HI Jen!
I can really relate to how you are felling & the thoughts going through your mind. Surgery is a big decision. All of my siblings are very overweight & all family gatherings center around food. I was considering weight loss surgery several years ago but kept trying to lose the weight myself. I have 3 children, the youngest being 14. I was diagnsed with type 2 diabetes about 12 years ago & my highest non-pregnancy weight was 249. I am 53 yrs old & my joints & diabetes were getting worse. After a lot of research & soul searching I mentioned weight loss surgery to my primary care doctor. I was told that if I did not do something soon about the weight soon that I would more than likely end up in a wheelchair or dead within 10 years. I kept grappling with the idea because I thought if I could lose the weight on my own, why risk surgery?. I finally realized that I needed the tool that surgery would offer me & after learning that my diabetes would likely go into remission if I had the surgery, I made the big decision.My insurance required a 4 month monitored weight loss effort during which time I lost a grand total of 5 lbs overall. I saw a physchologist & may go back down the road when I get back to eating regular food. I know I am an emotional eater & grazer & those things have to change to be successful. I had surgery on 10/23/12. I got the sleeve & also had a hiatal hernis & a regular hernia repair all performed by the same surgeon. All the testing you have to do pre-op really cuts down the risks because your insides are thouroughly checked out before you are approved. I was going for the bypass but had so much scar tissue & adhesions from previous surgeries that the sleeve was best for me.
Anyway, I have went from 249 a few months ago to 218 so far. It is not easy but I already feel so much better.
Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck!! This site is incredible!!!