Kaj

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! Love it!

Thanks for the boost and the support, Wrinkle. It *does* help.

I have told my husband and two friends, neither of which have any contact in any way with my job or co-workers. I am choosing to not tell my sons (grown) until and if I choose to do so. What I do with my body and my health is nobody's business except my husband. I plan to tell my colleagues and supervisor that I'm having hernia surgery. I work for the federal gov't and they are a bit rigid in their process for requesting time off so I have to cover a lot of bases AND I carry a caseload of 25-ish clients that have to be covered while I'm gone. That being said - my weight, the loss of, the gain of, the total of - is no more open to office discussion than is what I do or don't do between my bed sheet. In my world the only person from whom I want input is my husband because what he or I do impacts the other. But that is just me. I'm this way about every part of my life.

Many, many positive luck vibes coming your way..

Not yet. My patient coordinator will be submitting to my insurance for approval in mid-May. Once I get approval, they will give me a date. I imagine it will be sometime in June or July. I'm trying to make sure I have enough PTO built up to cover 2 weeks off in case I need that much time. I'm nervous, don't know what to expect or how to even begin to ask for the time off or what I'm supposed to tell my job about *why* I want, no need..to take that much time off and ask my colleagues to cover my caseload. I'm thinking I'm going to ask for the time off and say I have to have a hiatal hernia repaired. I figure that is something that is important enough to justify the time but not so major that I wouldn't have some leeway in the timing of surgery. I want the time to pass so I can just do this. I'm tired of looking at myself. I'm tired of eating and feeling guilty and resentful and rebellious with a f**k it attitude and eat crap I know is bad for me, is stupid and self defeating only to then beat myself up over every bite of even frigging plain lettuce for the next few days. This waiting is killing me. (Can you tell I'm a little over-wrought?)

Well, my "patient advocate" has received my 3 month Dr. supervised documentation, my lab-work showing I'm a non-smoker and not now nor have I ever been treated for drug or alcohol abuse. She says she will submit to my insurance in mid-May. I'm feeling pretty good about the choice to do this, but am apprehensive about the recovery period - I will have a limited amount of PTO and am worried I won't be able to heal enough to go back to work by the time I need to; I'm also worried I'll keep being a slug - right now, I come home and flop until time to go to bed. I should get on my treadmill, but after all day climbing stairs delivering groceries, doing home visits, etc, my knee hurts like hell and the last thing I wanna do is climb on the treadmill and aggravate it more. I am just really NOT a huge fan of exercise. I keep wondering if that will change with weight loss. I think I am more worried about failing after the surgery than I am about the surgery itself. Anyway - just checking in with everyone, I love seeing all the success and even reading about the difficulties and seeing them eventually be addressed and overcome. Keep doing what y'all do. You each are an inspiration to me.

Tats do migrate/smudge with weight change, but then gravity also impacts them. I have a wrist band on my left wrist of my 3 sons' names. It has not changed in looks or position regardless of age or weight. Nor has it been a problem for IVs as a good vampire (IMO) doesn't need to see to hit a vein - it is done more by feel. I have a unicorn on my right upper breast - it is about 3" tall and 2" wide. I got it prior to my 3rd pregnancy in 1982 and despite weight loss and weight gain and lactation/breast feeding, it has only gotten more muted due to aging. 5 dog paws on my left ankle above the ankle bone - no changes. 2nd degree Reiki distance healing symbol on top of my left foot - no change. However, I have a tribal floral that goes from my shoulders to mid butt cheek and it is inter-twined with english ivy that drapes off my right shoulder, winds through the tribal from right to left then trails down my outer thigh before wrapping 3x around my calf and finishing off running onto the top of my foot. I have seen it change in sharpness and clean, straight lines as I've yo-yo'd over the years AND as I've aged and gravity has pulled at it. Seeing the changes it has experienced, I am expecting to have some loss of neatness and symmetry with a large amount of weight loss simply due to the sag of the stretched out skin on my back and sides. You are looking at a minimum of 3 weeks healing time, if not more. You are currently anemic which means you are not likely to be a quick healer due to lack of white blood cells,,,the design and placement should be no issue at all in so far as design, sharpness and/or - however if it were me, I would wait until after the surgery so as not to have just put your body through one healing then expecting another; plus thee is always the chance of infection even in the cleanest shop due to a number of factors. You don't want to go into surgery with infection or the potential for infection running rampant in your body.. My 2 cents is for you to wait until after you have healed and are past the point of infection. If you want this design on your wrist, then another 6 months is not going to change that and will also give you the best ability to heal.

Where are you getting your tat (where on your body); What size tat? Why now? Just FYI: I haven't hit the surgery scheduled yet, but I am pretty heavily body modified and my youngest son is my tattoo artist and has been a professional artist for ohhhh...15 years or so. So I can talk to you about ink.

I'm not sleeved yet...hell, don't even have an idea of a date yet, but the eating at work is frightening for me. I work for the VA and have only 30 mins for lunch and they are very strict about time. I have no idea how I am going to eat slowly if I only have 30 mins to do it in. Also, I plan to take a week off for this...I can't afford more time than that, so I am a bit concerned about that as well.

Nice. I wear a medical alert bracelet anyway due to my vertigo...and it is a flash drive, so I will just add this to it as well as the other stuff I have on it like my advance directives and such.

I'm 60. I have my first surgeon consult this coming week. I am doing the 3 months of medically supervised by my PCP diet as required by my insurance...which is a joke, but what are ya gonna do? I know what it is like to be thin and I WANT it back!!. I lost 110 pounds on medifast in 1989 as well as my gallbladder. I kept it off with a slow creeping upward climb until 2000. Then menopause, my mother's death, depression, and anti-depressants all came together in one perfect storm and I crumbled. Gained about 100 lbs in a little over 6 months time. I crawled up to 289 a couple of years ago, then started counting weight watcher points and over a year lost 50 lbs. Then I stopped losing. Just....stopped. No idea why. I counted points another year without losing any at all. The last 3 months that I counted points, I actually began to gain again. Probably a lot of things I was doing wrong- portion creep, not weighing my food, etc. But anyway, I have gained 20 back since I gave up counting points and seem to have stopped at 250 for the past 6 months. My shrink has provided 5 years of documentation of my weight battle to the insurance company, so that part is covered. So yeah...60 years old, but big deal. I'm still 18 in my mind and I am still working full time and will be probably until I die. So, I am going to grab all the gusto I can get and will cheer each of you onward as you each make your own journey.

*Life* is scary. We can't go through our lives fearing "what-if". By doing so, we miss the "what-is" of this moment. "What is" , at least for is that I have battled weight my whole life, I'm fat. I'm tired of dieting and failing repeatedly and the damage that event does to my self worth and enjoyment of the moment I'm in. I have done my research, attempted to mitigate the risks I have some control over and am moving forward toward this surgery with a positive attitude and a belief that this "tool", just like the nicotine Patches I used to quit smoking 8 years ago, is simply going to allow me to live a healthier, longer life. Continuing at this weight is guaranteed to, if not shorten my life, definitely make it less enjoyable. Years ago when I took Differential Diagnosis during my graduate studies I realized that with just a little bit of knowledge I could go through the DSM-IV and meet the diagnostic criteria for a large number of the disorders. It is easy to talk ourselves into symptoms through fear. As I've said - I've done my research, I trust my surgeon to have more than half a brain as well as a strong aversion to malpractice cases and the rest I'll leave up to my creator.

K33 -Nice to hear someone else has a case of just don't cares. I am so anti-motivated. But you are right! It is easier when there are fresh fruits and vegies. The winter weather makes me want to eat comfort food. I am doing a great job of "everything will be better after I have surgery" or "I'll be more motivated to eat right, work out daily, avoid chocolate once I have surgery" and I really do know better than to think that way. I know nothing will change unless I change it. There are NO magic formulas. WLS is only a tool, NOT a cure. Yep - got the grand-daughter delivered and my hair washed, and my clothes ready for work tomorrow and at least that is a start. Thanks K!

Haven't been on the forum in a month or so. I've been focused on just moving forward. I am in month 2 of my "Dr. monitored 3 month diet" and just have big old give a poop attitude! He is all for me having surgery but isn't really invested in me. I am so rarely sick that we don't really have a relationship. I see my shrink more often than I see my pcp. He handed me a pre-printed 1500 calorie diet based on exchanges, told me to not eat after 6 PM and scheduled me to come back in a month. I counted calories religiously, walked the treadmill fairly regularly, but ate after 6 because I don't get home from work until after 6!! At day 30, (on Dec 15th) I had gained 3 pounds. Of course I was in boots and a heavy sweater which probably accounted for some of the weight since I had weighed originally in tennis shoes and a T-shirt. Anyway, he said to try to drop beneath 1500 a day, to maybe 1200 a day and honestly 1200 calories a day is just damn near impossible to do with Christmas! But I am going to go back to him on the 15th of January and we will see what we see. I have my first surgeon consultation on Jan 8th and am sure I will be much more excited after that. Anyway, I'm getting ready to take my grand-daughter home. I'll check in later. Just got a big case of the blues....

If you are still in the hospital, you are in good hands so relax and trust that although it is scary right now, it will get better. If you are home, take comfort in knowing the hospital wouldn't have released you if you were in danger. Keep trying a little bit at a time and sipping water so you stay hydrated. I haven;t been sleeved yet, so I don't know what you are feeling, but I do know that fear makes what you are feeling much worse. Concentrate on your breathing, staying calm and reach out to your mentors here. Keeping good thoughts for you, girl.

I'm just at the beginning.....just started the "insurance required doctor supervised diet" part. I'm sort of shooting for around March or April. I go for my first consult with Dr. Faulkenberry on Dec 4th. I live and work in Austin. That being said - I think Mindy is giving excellent advice. I'm older than y'all by quite a bit, and am a big believer in communication with your Doctor. You two are partners in this journey and he can't be the best partner possible if you aren't keeping him in the loop. Sending major positive ju-ju your way, girl. Keep us up to date. Kaj

I suggested checking with your Doc because if you have never had anxiety or been dx'd with an emotional disorder, it is always to check your medical first, then if everything is all good, you can rule out that issue. I speak both from a personal level - my anxiety will typically hit my gut first if I am off schedule on my meds, but also as an LCSW, I have often worked with clients with anxiety and have noticed that more often than not, it is women who seem to have gut issues with anxiety. If your shaky stomach goes away; I would think about becoming aware of when it happens and what you have done/eaten AND when it stops and what you have done/eaten right before it stopped.

Panic disorder and/or General anxiety disorder frequently will affect one's stomach. There is a connection referrred to as the "gut brain" and in some cases it is associated with the vagal nerve. I know of people who feel the "anxiety" feeling in their stomach with the development of an anxiety/panic disorder; I also know of people who will have anxiety attacks triggered by blood sugar imbalances or chemical/mineral imbalances. You may want to touch base with your Dr. to make sure all your metabolic numbers are in the normal range. Just a suggestion.

Ladies! Just wanted to check in and see how everyone is doing and update you all on my "progress". I saw my Psych for my quarterly med management and discussed the possibility of WLS at length. I was a bit apprehensive about his reaction but was plesantly surprised to find that he not only was supportive, he was VERY much in favor of my having the surgery. I told him I would need documentation regarding my weight history consisting of one note for each year for 2010 and 2011 (and probably 2012 now, as well) and a psych eval stating he felt i was enotionally appropriate for the surgery, assuming he thought I was. It was funny to see him laugh at me when I said that. I think I am a rarity in his practice in my emotional stability and groundedness. So he is a go. I saw my Gynocologist for my annual and she also was supportive. Last but not least, I met with my PCP day before yesterday and discussed it with him and he too was very supportive so I have had really great feedback about this from the medical world which makes me feel much more comfortable. He (my PCP) gave me a 1500 calorie diet to follow which is a basic exchange format. Along with that, I'll walk my treadmill at least 30 mins per day and keep a food diary. I will begin that on Monday when I return to work. I am scheduled to see him on the 13th of each month for the next 3 months. I will meet my surgeon and his team on the 4th of December. I turned 60 yesterday and have been on vacation since last weekend. We had planned to spend a few days hunting but unfortunately we went out the first day and I had such a fierce reaction to the ragweed that we decided to not attempt to go back out this week. Once we have a good cold snap, the ragweed should be down so we'll go a few weekends during this season. I have been really awful this past few days. It is as if I am mentally in a holding place between the end of counting WW points and the beginning of counting calories and have just been in a full blown eat it all stage! I've got to get it back in control and go back to my healthy eating style. Not sure where my head is at and am thinking I might need to do some exploration about what is behind this "give a s**t attitude" I seem to have acquired this last few days. Anyway - I'm on my way. I know Karen/Saltmistrose is scheduled for the 29th and am keeping positive thoughts for her. Let me know how everyone else is doing. Kaj

I haven't had my surgery. I'm not even close yet, however what I do know is that I take meds that can't be crushed because they are extended release. Definitely NOT able to be done. <shrug> Guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Thanks! Looked it up - can find it just up the road at Whole Foods. Sounds healthier than whey and soy. Now its on my list of 'must haves' for the stock pile I'm going to build over the next few months as I move toward the surgical process. I'm hoping to do this as much as possible without buying into the "bariatrics specialty marketing" .

So we went to an info session on the 18th and altho I have scheduled a couple of others, I'm not going to attend them. I reviewed my insurance and my initial choice of practices which was also the info session I attended is one of their not just preferred providers but one of their independently reviewed providers as is the hospital that is the 1st choice on my list. So I see no sense in exploring further since I got my initial criteria met with the first seminar. My husband (my partner in crime) agrees as well and liked what he has read and heard, so he is all in with me doing this deal. I have faxed in my initial documentation to the practice so their patient advocate can do their thing. My quarterly appointment with my shrink for med management is the 6th of November and I'll discuss this with him at that visit. Other than him and my husband, I have no plans to share this journey with anyone else, not even my children. Assuming I live through the surgery and recover at the rate I expect, there is no reason for anyone else to be part of this. It is no one else's business. :ph34r: The general way I am hoping this will play out is that I would end up with a surgery date of sometime in March or April. That should give me enough time to build up a stock pile of clear liquid foods, non-clear liquid foods, and then any additional electronic components to aid and abet the process (like a good juicer). Now all I have to do is keep from putting on more weight since I don't want to buy bigger jeans only to have to turn around and buy smaller ones. Sooooo-as far as my mental engagement, I am ready to move forward & rock and roll! Thanks for the encouragement, ladies. I'll keep you all updated as I move through this little journey and look forward to sharing both in y'alls experience as well as sharing mine with you.

Where are you purchasing your hemp Protein?

Nice, Jill!! SO encouraging. Thank you for sharing and congrats...you are on your way, girl. Won't be long before you're two-stepping at Billy Bobs.