nglalainenin

These past few weeks have been tough as the all so sought after 199 has been so elusive..On 09/28/12 I weighted 203.4 and so was pretty confident I could hit 199 by the following week. My confidence was only heightened when on Wednesday, 10/03/12 I was 201.2..I just knew by the 10/05/12 I could shake off another 1.5lbs to finally join the 100 club...Well, I jump on the scale all excited and low and behold what pops up...199 even...Oh yeah oh yeah...So you know us scale obsessed folk, we have to double check, triple check, quadruple check...Well 199 never came back up...It kept reading 202...I was crushed...I told myself well you clearly are way close for 199 to even pop up because there was a time you were so far away from 199, the scale never gave a false read of 199..No doubt I am happy about my progess...31lbs and 21 inches and 4 sizes (and counting) all in 7 weeks..I just am panting for my first goal of 199..I will admit I was not as diligent about logging my food these past couple of weeks as I was previously so it is likely my carb intake got the best of me...So this is one thing I will commit to doing as it will be key to my success as well...
 
But no sense of whining about that...Instead, I am focusing on things I can change...and that is increasing my cardio and strength...So this past week I started Insanity, again...I did it about two months prior to surgery and while it is still hard now, it was so much harder then...30lbs make a difference...My stretches are better...My form is better and I have an even greater motivation knowing I am helping Pedro (my sleeve) do some of the heavy lifting...I am remixing Insanity a bit...Instead of doing it 6 days a week, I am doing it 5 days a week, skipping the recovery day and instead running on the day of recovery...Still getting my heart rate up and helping out my running game...I would love to do a half marathon in April or May of 2013...And speaking of running my running game has gotten so much better...When I first started exercising after surgery, it was taking me 60 minutes to walk 3 miles...Now I am doing 3 miles in 43 minutes...As I cut down on the 5 minutes of walking at the beginning and interchange 1.5 minutes of running with 1 minute of walking, it will only get better...Currently, I walk the 1st five minutes (3.5mph)...run a minute (5.5-6.0mph) and walk for minute and half (3.5)..My goal is to get it to 30 minutes...
 
Over the past couple of weeks, I have had increasing comments about how good I look...The folk that know about the surgery talk about how well I look losing the weight and that they can tell I am working out in the process as I am looking toned...A close friend of mine says you no longer look big...(oh the honesty) you just kinda blend in...Not big...not small..just about the size where no one notices your weight either way...Oh the honesty of a guy but I will still take it...lol...And a couple church friends talked about my saggy pants...Such a good feeling...I am slipping in pants I bought, two years ago and never could wear...Shirts I had given up on wearing because my belly fat/rolls showed too much...I havent worn my spanx (fool them to look thinner underarmour piece) but once (with a form fitting dress)in the past month...The muffin tops and the back fat is slowing fading away...It is such a good feeling.
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 203.4 (Week 6)
CW 201.2
GW 155

I just got back from the dr. office and it's all scheduled for the 19th!
I am so excited and nervous at the same time!
I found out that I have to do the surgery OPEN since I had the band put in and removed lap/style, the dr. is not comfy doing it that way again from scar tissue.
Hope OPEN style will be okay for the recovery!
Help!
If you read this comment for me!

Alright, I have decided to go ahead with the sleeve. As a matter of fact I am scheduling it today with Dr. Kemmerling.
 
I didn't think you could pay me to go back into surgery after my band removal, but my future happiness is too important to me. I want to be happy, healthy, and want a baby! I need this surgery.
 
I will update with my surgery date later on today!
 
Today!

Hard to be just a lil over 5 weeks ago, I was riddled with nerves wondering if I was making the right decision to have surgrey. Today, I know having the VSG was the best decision I could have made for my long-term health. It has re-engergized my motivation to work out and already so much of my confidence is being restored...
 
Last week, I blogged about how I was bothered and now I guess I realized I am hurt that my ex-boyfriend had not acknowledged my weight loss. Well I talked to him about it and how that makes me feel. I am not sure what I expected to get out of it because I as reflect on the conversation, I am not sure he ever said he has noticed I lost weight. In fact, I do not realize much of the conversation, only that I walked away from it unsatisfied with his response. But life goes on...
 
On the positive side, though my ex is not noticing so many other folk are noticing my weight loss and it is really a good feeling. I met up with friends over the weekend and none of them knew about the surgery and so I was worried about addressing the weight loss and not drinking. Well the not drinking never came up because I kept a cranberry juice in my hand and they only had good things to say about my weight loss...No questions as to what I was doing but just that I looked good...I also have began to see the weight loss in myself. When I was smaller, I always thought I had a long, giraffe neck so I hated my neck. Well I notice that giraffe neck coming back and I have never been happier to see it... And I am also noticing it in my midsection...It doesnt stick out under my boob like it used to...Shirts and dresses fix so much better...Yayy...
 
Oan: Despite the warning against tomato based things because of acid issues, I thought I would give chili a try. Bad move. Other than the protein shakes that i grew tired of, it is really the only food that I have reacted bad too. Other foods have made me feel bad but more because I ate to fast and not because of the food itself. So for now, I am not doing tomato based because I already have enough issues with heartburn. I am pretty much able to eat most things. I went to our farmer's market this past weekend and ate fried noodles...It was just about a cup but still I know I was so out of line. It made me work out harder. I got mile 3 mile walk/run jog done in 43 minutes. I started out at 60 minutes...
 
I am so happy that my stall/weight gain from last week did not carry on into this week. Last week I picked up two pounds by the time of weigh in. I actually picked up three pounds by Saturday evening. But today I am happy to report I got those pounds I gained off and then some...
 
VSG 08/17/12
HW 232 SW 227 (5'8)
Last Week 210.4
CW 205.4 ...
 
It may be ambitious but I am going for 199.8 by Friday's weigh in. I am already down to 204 today so I gt 4.2lbs to make it happen. I am going to push the workouts and stick to high protein/low carb for the week. I want Wonderland...I want Wonderland...and with it so close it makes me go even harder for it.

I am a lil behind on posting as I was not to encouraged as this week I gained weight. I have read plenty posts about the dreaded 3 week stall or weight gain but I was convinced I would beat it...Not...
 
But all in all it has been a good week. I started eating soft foods and it was a welcome addition. Eggs with cheese was my first meal. I have made some othe recipes from Emily Bites andTheworldaccordingtoeggface. Most of them have turned out pretty good...I even managed to eat some shrimp and handled it okay considering I did not like shrimp pre-surgery...However at 21g of protein and only 1.5g fat and 4g carbs, it will become a frequent visitor on my menu. Still eating about 2-3 ounces of food before I get full and still adjusting to making sure I chew my food well to avoid that stuck feeling in my chest. My body still has not figured out how to resume regular bowel movements. I could probably lose a few pounds justing taking a good ole dump...lol TMI I know...My heartburn has also become more frequent over the past couple of weeks so I am resolving to taking priolsec or something of that nature with my daily vitamins. I started but stopped but realizing at least for now this is not possible.
 
This week I hung out with my cousin who had lapband surgery in Jan 2012. She has had minimal success with it. I was so amazed at how much she could eat compared to the amount I was able to eat. Now mind you she had 7 months on me but I still thought our eating habits would be the same. I took a high protein, low carb potluck dish over it went over well but all the things she made were so high in carbs or fatty. She also tend to graze which all the reading I have done said this is a way you "eat around" your band or sleeve. I also notice that her pantry was riddled with things I would be afraid to bring in the house because all willpower would be gone...I do not say all this to judge but i do so it to say that even with the surgery we have to still exercise healthy eating habits. The surgery is only a tool and if we do not use the tool properly it is unable to perform as intended. I was careful not to judge her because I did not want to come off as a surgery eating expert after just 4 weeks of diet compliance. It was just an eye opener to be cognizant to not let my old eating habits that led to me being overweight erode the sleeve.
 
On to the good news...I started out my journey a size 18..Well, this week I got into a size 13/14 jeans I had bought about two years ago...A phenomenal feeling that was...so despite having gained two pounds this week, I looked over it as I twirled around in the mirror 4 sizes smaller than I was a month ago...And so many folk are noticing the weight loss and that too is a really good feeling. Something that nags at me is that thought no less than 20 people have told me I lost weight, my ex-boyfriend has not acknowledged my weight loss...I know he is an ex and I should not care...Obviously there was something that put him in the ex category and it wasnt good so I should let go. Easier said then done but that is another story.
 
I also measured today (09/16/12) and was pleasantly surprised at those numbers as well. I first measured on 08/23 so just under a full month
Neck -1 in Thigh -3/4 in Hi Wasit (just below breast) -2 in Natural Waist 2 in Belly Button (Abs) -3 3/4 in Chest 1 1/2 in Hips 2 1/4 in Biceps 1 in Shoulder -2.5 in.....Total Inches Lost 16.75.. :D
 
VSG 08/17/12
HW 232 08/13/12
SW 227
CW 210.4

Okay, so I just had my band removed and it's the worst experience ever. I honestly don't want to have another surgery EVER.
 
I have been scared before but nothing like this.
 
I don't believe I am going to go through with the sleeve now, I don't want to go under again or have this much trama.
 
Weird thing is I almost feel good about that decision!

Wow...where do I start....
 
I up my workout game this week. Moved from 2.5 miles to 3 miles of walking this week. I am really loving this sleeve knowing that the fruits of my workout will reflect in my body transformation. I walked into my office yesterday and one of the ladies said I looked stunning. It did wonders for my inner self. In fact, a number of people are commenting on my weight loss. I went to a BBQ on Labor Day (dat was torture) and I girl I had not seen in a few months, told me I had lost weight and looked good...Made me feel all giddy..especially since I am still about 50lbs shy of my final goal...I can only imagine what that will look like. But back to the BBQ...There was so much food and drink...I think I missed the alcohol more than I did the food. BBQ is almost a synonym for drinking and all could have was my light pink lemonade...The compliments made it better though...lol...
 
This week also represents the week, I put on a two pair of shorts I could not wear pre-surgery and a pair of jeans...One pair of shorts was actually loose...I have this lil dress that I wore in the day that I absolutely loved. I am not sure if I would wear it again as an outfit as it is dated but I kept it because I wanted to get back into it...The day that happens....I think I am going to hit the floor....(but I also plan on taking pics to mark that day).
 
I told my mom about the surgery this week. I had not told her before because when I tried feeling her out about it, she had so much negative stuff to say so I left her out of one of the most important decisions of my life. I felt bad and underhanded but I needed to mentally prepare for this surgery and so could not deal with her opinions. She still had some stuff to say about it but now that it is done, I do not receive her comments as hard.
 
This Sunday I am able to start soft foods. I am so happy...These last two weeks I have really begun to miss food. I have planned about 30 first meals...lol..My body is over the protein shakes so I need some natural protein. My stomach is upset with the protein shakes. As I begin to eat, I am hoping I can once again tolerate them as they offer a good influx of protein if you are struggling to get it in.
 
I am still not having regular bowel movements without assistance of a stool softner. Driving me crazy as I went everyday so to be only able to go once a week with assistance gets me so out of sorts.
 
But with all that said...where I am today...I think I am beginning to see some changes..I measure next Friday so I am excited to see what those numbers reveal.
 
VSG 08/17/12
HT 5'8
HW 232 (08/13/12)
SW 227
CW 208.8 (-23.6lbs)
 
I will take it...I had a goal (one of many) to be 205 by 09/17. I am on target to make it happen...(Sleeve don't fail me now..lol)

It's 5:22am and I don't have to leave for surgery till 8:30 and I can NOT sleep!! I am so nervous to get my band out, however, I am really excited!
Hope my surgery goes well with no problems and no band erosion.
 
Once this thing is out of me I can strat my 6 week wait for my sleeve (insurance pending)
 
Wish me luck!

not loosing weight like others have, this friday the 19th It will be my 1 month anniversary and have only lost 14lbs, total 25lbs since the pre-surgery diet.
 
could i be doing something wrong ? please get back to me with some feedback.

Where do I start...Week 8 was the week of workouts...
 
I concentrated on my running game...So I pushed myself everytime I ran...Managed 2 miles in 26 minutes on Wednesday...And on Saturday, I actually did an 11 minute mile...Killed me but I felt good after I caught my breath and my heart starting beating inside instead of outside of my chest...Now I need to duplicate that across two miles and then three miles...My goal is to do 3 miles in 30 minutes...I have also kept up with Insanity workouts...Still hard as hell but well worth it...I get a sense of accomplishments from getting through another greuling 40 minutes of insane workouts...I feel myself getting stronger..my stretches getting better and my cardio picking up so I am so encouraged...
 
I know some say I am going too hard on the workouts but I do not think so...I feel absolutely fine and no pain from the workouts other than sore muscles...And I actually get a rise out of that because that means they feeling the effect and making way for change...Working out, particularly running is a lifestyle for me so no sense of putting it off any longer..I also am putting weight lifting in my routine. My arms have always been big proportionate to my body so I am giving them a lil extra work to see if I can get them to get with the program...lol...
 
I had a few struggles with food and the dreaded alcohol...I went out to eat with friends and there was bread and I had a tiny piece...Didnt take it too far because I did not want to risk upsetting my stomach...And I also tried a drink, on a separate occassion, and it burned my stomach...Good and a bad thing...so I didnt finish the drink and have the empty calories but man I was looking forward to that drink...
 
But the best part of the week...I got down to 199...I guess it is possible on my scale...For the past few weeks I was beginning to think that my scale did not display #'s less than 200...I attached progress photos and I can see the difference in the photos but when I look in the mirror I pretty much see myself the same as I was pre-surgery...I had a girlfriend tell me that it was funny that when I was bigger I saw myself as a sexy b*tch..and now as I have getting smaller I am seeing myself as a slob...I dont really know where I lost myself..I do remember feeling good about me or at least I played the role so well that I believed I liked myself at some point in my "big life"...Now, I critique myself so hard on that and I am almost uncomfortable in my own skin...I need for my self image and confidence to catch up with my smaller waistline...It is sometimes hard to process the compliments because I am thinking what do these folk see...In fact, I told this one guy, I wanted to see myself through his eyes...He had always adored me even at my biggest and now he can't wait to see me in the morning to shower me with compliments...
 
HW 232 & SW 227 (VSG 08/17/12 & 5'8)
LW 201.2
CW 199 [Exactly 44lbs away from goal]
GW 155

So I would be a big fibber if I said this week was easy. I am kinda falling apart, I am snapping at my poor husband but eat a cupcake (3) in front of a all liquid diet wife. I almost punched him, and his mom for sending them home with him!
 
I just had a sugar free apple cider and walked away VERY grumpy.
 
Only 3 more days of this! Then two more weeks, lol.
 
I am off of my soap box and will realx about this, it's the beginning of my new life.

Fair warning: This is a long backstory type vent.
 
 
As the title explains, they'll be submitting this week to my insurance and eventually set me up with a date they think will be in January. I've lost about 34lbs in the pre-op during the visits. They coo and praise what I've accomplished. And I'm just not feeling it. I think it's because, oddly, weight-loss pre-op was not the goal, getting stuff done for the surgery was, this is insane, I know. I also look at it like it's verification that I can't really do this by myself. I mean if I lost say 50 lbs a year it would take me another 3 solid years to get all the weight I need off...barring any falling off the wagon...you know because that never happens....
 
I've got a bit going on in my life and it just feels like now I'm at the crossroads. I'm working full time, I've just come up on a year working for this company but I've only been hired as a permanent employee since April and I haven't taken a day off since. I'm also going to post graduate classes so I can sit for the CPA----note to self: get the freakin application form----. And I was going do some tax prep stuff for a seasonal place, just so I could keep up with tax updates, make a little extra money and get my family's taxes done. Ok.. now add vsg at some point in January and you can now see the problem of having too much to do in the space and time I have. Additionally I've only got 2 weeks of pto which will not actually be 2 weeks of pto because the pre-op classes and meetings are going to take the better part of a morning so...bye bye 8 hours of pto just in prep for this. I'm thinking the tax prep thing is going to have to go. And that about where I'm at the point of feeling the stress start to come into the back of my neck. It's just all getting to be a bit much.
 
I still desperately want the surgery. Its so important to me not to go through another year carrying a full grown person w/ me wherever I go. I dont think this forum is a place I need to explain the reasons or defend myself. But outside this place I feel extraordinarily defensive about the desire to have the surgery. My family is either in the dark or not supportive. I live at home w/ my parents right now because the job I have doesn't pay enough to be out on my own but the insurance covers the surgery. This is why I felt conditions were right for the surgery.
 
My dad has no idea, he had a stroke 7 years ago, he's mostly fine but his personality did a 180 degree change and he's no longer the parent that I can talk to but rather the parent that I try to avoid dealing with altogether. Long story short, he's a liar and he constantly needs someone to stroke the ego, the way a 5 year old shows youhow nice he made the bed. My mom knows I'm doing this but thinks it's drastic, thinks it not the right choice and why can't I just keep going to the nutritionist since I've already lost weight that way? When we talk about it she gets quiet because she doesn't like it. This wouldn't bother me if I didn't need her for my recovery. And if god forbid something goes wrong my mom is exactly the type that gives you the told you so look and lecture. Right... I can totally see me in agony w/ picc lines and leak tests her just looking at me like...see what did i tell you....
 
 
Why can't I just be happy that I've done everything to finally get the letter sent?
 
I just have a lot on my mind. I have a lot of decisions to make and it feels like I'm going to have to risk something.

Source: Hula Cardio! Have You Tried It?

Instead of asking these questions in the form..as I'm sure many of people have asked the same questions over and over. I thought I would ask them in a blog. So if you read this and know the answer please feel free to respond!
 
My first question is about hunger. They say you don't feel hunger (actual hunger..not head hunger I understand that's something we may have to deal with for the rest of our lives). But actual hunger pain. Is that true? Do any of you whose had the surgery ever feel hunger pain? Actual hunger pain.
 
Second how long after surgery did most of you start to feel more energetic? I don't mean from the surgery, or recovery, but from being big. When did you feel like you've lost that magic amount when you realized that hey I can breath more openly when I walk, and my heart doesn't feel like it's jumping out of my chest..I feel comfortable! I guess I imagine that it will feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my chest..because I walk around feeling like I have one on my chest. At least that's what I'm hoping for.
 
Third.. what did it feel like the first time you put on a shirt, or pair pants you couldn't fit into before WLS? Did you cry? Did you jump up and down and get all excited! Something else I look forward to doing.
 
Where did you first notice you had lost weight? Was it your face, hips, fingers?
 
Ok enough questions.. lol Thanks to anyone who answers.

I hit the lost 100 lb mark this week! I feel so much better. Discovered not haveinga protein drink a day was not a good idea as the weight loss slowed down to a pound or so a week. I have since added a drink everyday and am back up to about 5 pounds a week and the best part is my hair quit falling out by the handfuls.
 
 
Toodles ya'll!

Hi there- been awhile!
I am winning at some things and failing miserably at others. I've lost 48 lbs since surgery though which is great and I'm just about managing to eat properly even with the stresses of work and weird eating times.I've been sick a few times from eating too fast though which was horrible and I have to learn to make people leave me alone for that small time I have at lunch. Lots of work folks have commented on my WL and people are asking me how I'm doing it.
 
Unfortunately my exercise routine has dwindled to nothing- I leave for work at 6.20 am and get back at 5pm most days and then I normally have to spend time doing paperwork until about 7pm. I am just SHATTERED. I need to find a solution to this as it worries me a lot.Weekends are not much better at the moment. Not good.
 
I have drunk some red wine on two occasions and didn't have too bad a reaction, however I was very moderate with it. I have had to get some new clothes as my bottom half is now a UK size 16 and top half an 18 - I am going to buy cheap supermarket clothes when I fit into them so I don't spend too much on the downward journey. I am still struggling to get all of my water in and with my high protein diet, constipation is an issue.
 
Next month I will resume my psychologist meetings, she is so booked up it has been a real trial getting appointments. I have much to discuss, I feel quite depressed at times now that the "food crutch" has gone and this is not really like me at all. Subsequently work issues are really getting to me and I'm struggling a lot with being overwhelmed.
 
Back to the drawing board!

hi
 
I a so technologically challenged that I rather buy a new laptop than admit it might be me that just cannot work the old one...lol
 
this is me day of surgery
 

 
and me about a week ago.
 

Well, this is the first step of my jounrney. Right now I'm in the process of finishing all of my pre-op required testings. These include, stomach acid test, pulmonary test, mammogram, psych test, blood work, & nutritionist. I have all of my required documentation for insurance purposes so right now I'm just checking of my list. Ugghhh...testing!!
 
I'm excited about getting my journey started but nervous at the same time. I have lived the life of a BBW for 25 years & life is about to change dramatically. I am leaving the life I am comfortable in & know but I'm so ready to start living again. I am super excited about my new life but I haven't told a lot of my friends because I know that some will try to talk me out of it & right now, I need all the support I can get. Has anyone experienced this? I have had my male friends already tell me that they aren't going to be attracted to me when I get thin. Oh well, I believe healthy trumps that!!! I think my weight loss journey isn't going to be about just losing weight & be healthy, I think it's going to turn into a life cleansing process.

I havent posted for a bit because I've been allergy/sick ridden!!! I know I posted about that last time but I finally feel like I may be on the mend after a couple of rounds of steroids (ughhh the swelling!!) and antibiotics. Just in time for my 52nd birthday tomorrow!! Yes folks, I am proud to say that I have survived somehow for these many long years!! And now that I've had the surgery, I will actually live for many more to come. And I do mean living.... going and doing and loving and living and shopping and playing and singing and dancing and and and and...... That is the joy of the surgery and having lost over 50lbs now... at my last drs visit it was 55lbs to be exact. Yeah!!
 
I've been able to become an active member of my own life. I have just existed for so long that I had forgotten how marvelous it can be to just walk through the store with out huffing and puffing. I'm able to act like a goofball (I am a chronic goofball) at work with my bff and not want to pass out... I can go to baby showers, restraunts, stores, nails, hair, and the list could go on and actually enjoy myself while doing it. What an AMAZING way to start my 52nd year on this great plant... I am loving life right now and I have such a great support group around me, especially my husband. He has been amazing and one of my biggest cheerleaders. We have been amazed by the changes I've gone through.
 
One of the oddest things is my forearms feel "skinny" lol... I've also discovered I have shoulders! Who knew??? lol I can even feel the beginnings of a hip bone.... I KNOW!! I feel like I'm losing inches faster than pounds, which is perfectly fine with me, just is rather odd. Have any of you felt the same way? Just a curiosity question. I had to go buy new bras cuz I'm shrinking out of my old ones.... not cup but number wise. I'm losing back fat which is great! My stomach is wrinkling and bat wings are flying!!! lol
 
One thing I've been upset about is since I started on the Predisone, my cellulitis has come back. I'm just vain enough for it to really bother me. I love wearing my capris and feel like I have fairly decent legs now that they arent so swollen. I is very frustrating but one of those things I have to live with I guess. I thought it was over but NOT! lol
 
Okay last little tidbit, which has absolutely nothing to do with weight loss but everything to do with it as well..... My daughter's bday gift to me is telling me her baby #3 is on the way. Yeah and I will be able to be a different kind of grandma for this one from the get go. I am the "cool" grandma anyway but now I'll be fun too!
 
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and a spectacular journey!! Hugs to you all!!!
 
 
 
P.S. The picture is from today. I can see a difference but very subtle.

It has been 7 months today since I had my sleeve.My goodness how different has this been from having the band.
 
The good.I weighed 195.8 today.Hehehe,couldnt say 196 could I?That is down 101.2 pounds since surgery.I am not a compulsive eater anymore.Neither am I a couch potato anymore.I play squash twice a week and exercise at least 3 other times per week.I am shrinking by the day and I am beginning to feel really good about this.I cannot eat away my emotions so I am slightly more moody but more in touch with myself as well.I am somewhat more serious now,dont always have to laugh or joke away my pain about my weight.I have been at this weight quite a few times before in my life so I am now excited to get thin for the first time in 22 years.
 
My bloodwork came back perfect.All my vitamin problems seems to have been solved with the shots I have received and my platelets are now normal.
 
The bad.Somehow I got a hernia on the right side where the dr's used the same spot for all 3 keyhole surgeries.It is painful to move and you must see me tape my stomach to play squash.I am also allergic to plaster so it is a vicious cycle at the moment as I cannot find compression garment that would help,plasters got to do the job for now.No one will do surgery until I am at my goal weight as it will be part of the body lift to fix this.
 
Since surgery I have had petechiae on my torso, upper legs and back 4 times (tiny little point bleeds all over the place) I am full of bruises and I thought it was because my B12 was quite low since surgery.Had a full house of bloods done this week and my dr phoned me this morning saying everything is perfect,even the D is 40 now and the B12 is almost too high,stop the pills and no injections anymore.When I asked him what ia causing the spots and bruises then he just said I dont know.This is a concern to me as where i pulled the little tape they puton after drawing the blood there is a bid red bleed under the skin now,not where the needle was in,but from the pressure of the tape.My theory about the spots is that every time I had a B12 injection I got the spots.And since I started taking the pills it came out again.Dr says not possilbe but there is a direct relationship between the 2.Anyhow,will keep an eye on it.
 
The extra skin is a nightmare but as I am single and not planning on being anything different,it is ok until I can get to goal and start scraping together the courage to go for plastics.My little one says my body is like a jelly spilling out of a cup..lol.
 
My body image is still seriously warped but I "feel" and "see" myself with the scale now and that helps a lot.i still wear a size 18,sometimes 16 clothes which seems very big still but I look much smaller than that as I am tall.Would really like to go to smaller sizes though.
 
Friendships have changed.It is super difficult to be with some of my very overweight friends now.They seem to be so uncomfortable around me.I do see why.We use to be fat together.We always talked and complained about it.We couldnt walk,run or do anything else and now all of this have changed for me.I am excited about life and really try to never make them feel bad about themselves.I do worry about them though as at our age the health issues are so many if you've been fat for so long.I dont say anything and try to never say anything about my surgery or weight loss.We dont eat cake together anymore but hey,I still do lunch.My best friend however have lost 28 pounds since I have had my surgery.She is only 4'11 and is still about 8 pounds from her goal weight but she looks fantastic.She wasnt going to stay chubby while I was losing weight and it has been a delight and pain in the butt as she lives on carbs even now.She still eats about 1800 cals every day and sometimes I find that hard.Jealous of what she can eat...lol.Not really!
 
The ugly.I am severly constipated since surgery.This is a big problem but I hope that once I get to goal and can increase my complex carbs I can add a lot of fibre to my diet.I also have hemoroids that I am never ever going to go to the dr for.This is the biggest and most terrible thing that could have happened to me..lol.No really.I hate this and dont know what to do about it.People say that the surgery for this is excruciating.Not happening!
 
The good.Did I say the good?Since the sleeve I have had to deal with the fact that I have been fat and extremely unhappy and on diet all of my adult life.It was an obsession like no other.It ruled every waking moment of my life.Honestly,I could never stop talking aout my weight,my diet,my failure,my excuse to not so stuff.I had zero self confidence in so many aspects of my life.This I have had to come to terms with now.I kissed out on a lot of things because I was too ashamed to do anything.My world (and Im an expat living in a foreign country) was always quite small and my life lived in anticipation of the day I would be thin,that was when I was going to start living see.
 
The sadness I experienced when different things started being possilbe was unbelievable.The regret of so much time waisted made me so depressed for a few months.But I have thought about all this a lot and I chose to move on now.Time is ticking by and regrets doesnt add to your life it just steals more time from it.I now choose to feel good about each day.
 
My attitude about food has changed.Tonight,after our weekend,we sat in the lounge after dinner and this use to be a big eating night in my life.I felt like a snack,not chips or chocolates...edamame beans...lol.My friend still thinks Im nuts as I really couldnt think of anything nicer to snack on.I go to the beach every day and we use to always eat on the beach,now I dont even think about it.
 
This whole process is sometimes difficult for me because I really wanted to be skinny yesterday..lol.My impatience drives me up the walls some days but this seems to be a great lesson to me too.I am a little less self centered,even though every sentence here started with I...lol and a bit more compassionate to others.
 
Weight loss surgery doesnt fix everything in life and I will surely always be somewhat OCD and messed up but I at least now look normal..lol.I dont really have the desire to just blend in with the crowd anymore as I realized unless I cut something off i will always be taller than most people I know.Other people's opinion of me doesnt really matter that much anymore and this is a great freedom in my life.I was a real peoples pleaser all my life and we know that you cant please all of the people all of the time, which made me very unhappy before.
 
My mother and sister is on a super strict diet as they are so scared I am going to be thinner than them when they see me in December and that can just be good for them.
 
So life is good.And I might freak out soon again if I have another stall,but thats life!
 
 
 
 

today I weighed under 90kg's for the first time in many years.For people that weigh in pounds 200 seems to be the big number to break through but in kilos being less than 90 is the ultimate YES!
 
Interesting stat from my dr this morning.In 4 months I have lost 20kg's which translates into 44 pounds.It averages out to 11 pounds per month in the last 4 months.Which is not something that I could see for some reason.
 
Of course my first thought was to celebrate with food.This is something I will have to really work on.I dont mean bad food,just more food.I've been eating really little lately and I do miss eating tasty meals.
 
Because of the protein struggle (and to keep my cals below 800 when eating dense protein) I've been eating protein pancakes made with egg white and protein powder,too often.
 
If I could cut the amount of milk I use per day it would be easier but I like my tea and coffee with milk and 4 cups (3 tea) translates into to much milk.
 
Anyhoo,awaiting the blood results now but the dr isnt too worried about the petechiae as it is already clearing up a little.I did have a B12 and D injection again as well.And I have been wondering how do people get off their blood pressure meds.My blood pressure is now 120 over 80 which is normal but with the very strong meds I am taking.How does the dr decide to stop it?Do they just stop it or go on lower dosage or what?I forgot to ask.
 
Still,it is not normal and only bloods would tell if it is something to worry about.The dr wasnt to sure about the blood work needed so I kind of told him a few I thought was important.Will read up on it a little and maybe have the rest done with my GP.
 
Beach weather here in Dubai so this weekend,starting today will be spend working on the Vit D

tomorrow I will see my physician.Since surgery I have had 4 episodes of petechiae.Those tiny little point bleeds that is a rash on my trunk and thighs and this time also on my back.This has scared me when it happened but I always got it after I had my B12 shot and it did go away in about 5 days.
 
This time it seems to be increasing and I havent had a shot.I also have bruises all over and some inplaces that you know it wasnt caused by anything.
 
I hope he can shed some light on this as it is quite scary to think it might be related to low B12 or low platelet count.I am a registered nurse and I know that we do not think too much of the fact that our intrinsic factor has been cut out but that this can cause some serious issues for some people.
 
So I will fast tonight and hopefully he will do thorough baseline bloods and vitamins bloods.It is quite difficult here to convince the dr's to do a lot of different vitamin bloods at a time as some of the tests are still send away and it is very very costly to do.I just wish I knew what bloods we need to do as a standard anyway.
 
O well,lts see what he says.
 
 

of course the old me was just lurking around the corner just to pop out its head when I least expected it...lol
 
My friend came home tonight,after the housekeeper had made everybody else meal,cottage pie with a sweetpotato twist (and I had made my fish) and said she was opening a bottle of my favourite red wine...and of course I wanted a glass.So she ha one glass and I ended up having 2 and some of their dinner not my fish.
 
At this poin I have realized how hard I have actually been on myself over the past 6 months.I dont eat carbs (well,no carbs thats not in green veggies or salad veggies) I dont eat sweets or chocolates,ever.I dont eat crisps or ice cream.I really stick to my plan 99% of the time.Sometimes I eat too much fish or too much chicken (not at once but I will snack on it as well) I am actually good as gold with the eating plan except for once a month when I go to the movies and have some caramel popcorn (shared with someone)O,and I do have a snack of chilly bite beef jerky (very salty) at least 4 days a week.
 
I exercise all the time now.I am really very good and 99 pounds in 6.5 months is npt too shabby at all.
 
But every time I stall,and this last time I just started losing very very slowly,I am convinced that I am doing something wrong and will fail.
 
My choice is to put tonight behind me.I enjoyed my wine and my food and I will really try not to weigh for the next two days at least.
 
And tomorrow night we will do maybe a 5km run and be back on track for the next 5 pounds loss.
 
I am stoked to work super hard to lose the 35 pounds I still have to lose.

Happy birthday to me! Tomorrow I turn 50. According to my bucket list, I was supposed to go skydiving to mark this momentus occasion but was fearful that when I hit the ground I would leave a small spaceship size hole because of my weight! LMBO No longer a worry now that I am down 85 lbs, I decided I should wait until I get my kids out of school first before doing something so daring.
 
I went shopping and bought new clothes with the help of the best mother in a law a girl could have. Had no idea how many sizes I dropped. Last Christmas I was wearing 34/36. This past weekend I bought size 24s!!! OMG!!! I can buy clothes in a regular store now too. Thank you Catherine's and Lane Bryant - you have been my go to for so long, but now I have other options. Feeling like a kid ion the candy store!
 
Not missing eating things. My body tolerates all the spicy I can handle - of course that isn't much. But it is a good thing! The tunnel light is bright! No looking back....as Dori says, "Just keep swimming!" I am, and loving every minute of it!
 
Have a marvelous day everyone. I get on here at a whim so...until next time! K

Hi people!
It has been a while since I posted,I am back at work/school and it has been more than a little busy. I am really really thankful that I have been able to swap my break and lunch duties around so for once I actually get to sit down and have half an hour to eat during my crazily hectic schedule. It has been a godsend. My exercise routine has been totally knocked flat though as I am getting home so late and exhausted.
 
The good news is that my WEEKS long stall has shifted, and I am in onederland! 198.4 lb's today! YAY!
I have bought a few work clothes in a smaller size, and everyone commented in the first few days back on my WL which was nice. My standard answer to questions is- "changed my diet, been swimming a lot..."
 
Onwards and downwards!