Wow... okay this is my first post but i just had to get in on this one. I think the first clue for me came not long ago when my mom told me as a baby she used to put honey on my pacifier. There is 11 months between myself and my older brother. I think I wanted comfort and she gave me food. Or I wanted food and she gave me sugar. Then we have my mother's own battle with weight. So she became obsessed with everything I ate and my weight. Regardless of my activity level or my personal feeling about my weight she was sure I was fat and needed to loose weight. My father was on the other side demanding we eat everything including new foods (whether you liked it or not) and if we went out to dinner... YOU ATE EVERYTHING! He took it as waste and severe disrespect to not eat all you were given.
I think food became a passive aggressive struggle, defying my father and mother and still trying to please them both. My father was physically abusive and has rage issues and a life long weight problems.
My mother used food as a treat for herself, she had special food just for her that we were not allowed to eat.
I know it is not fair to lay all of the reasons I am MO at their feet but I can't help but see how they related to food and me helped set me up for eating troubles. I love food, one taste is never enough. I eat when sad, happy, love to have dinner parties. I love cooking. I am sugar freak. chocolate and sweets are my addiction. I was a closet eater, I would hide food around the house and eat it when my husband was gone or the kids were sleep. it was something I deserved, it was my way to treat myself, to love me. How wrong I was. i am trying to deal with this. I am only 6 days post op so I dealing with the liquid diet. I am confused by the different post op diet options. The clear liquid only for two weeks is very hard I am so hungry most of the time. I have started eating apple sauce and yogurt just so my stomach doesn't growl all the time. thanks for this thread and for all your posts. THey make me feel less alone on the journey.