slimagainsoon

TO EVERYONE....I DO KNOW HOW TO SPELL "FINALLY"....I WAS JUST EXCITED AND THE FINGERS GOT AHEAD OF MY BRAIN

Slimagainsoon, I am only 5'3" and I am not concerned what anyone else says my goal weight should be. I know that for my height I should weigh between 118-135. I chose the upper number because of my age. Sure I know that loosing too much could make me look even older (:-)) but I think that 135 is a reasonable goal. The last time I saw any of those numbers (50 years ago) I was 120. One of my goals is to have a "normal" BMI. I do NOT want to listed on anything as "overweight, obese or morbidly obese"...been there, done that. At this point I am also 48% fat. I want to be in the normal range for that number too. So...if I get all those numbers normal...then whatever that weight ends up being is the weight I will be happy with. I'm thinking it will be 135. Thank you so much for your kind wishes...I am looking forward to joining you on the losers bench. :-)

K33,
Such a youngster at 61! You will reach your preop goal....and be on your way. As for the HS sweetheart....well, when you least expect it miracles happen. We were separated by years and distance but a fluke meeting with a long lost friend set up our reuniting. It can happen! Until then, do what you have to do to live life with gusto. We got 30 years! Let's do em up fine!

I have been on this journey since January of 2012 - through two surgery centers (found out 3 months in that the surgeon had only done 5 surgeries!), full testing for both and a 6 month "diet" with my PCP. Got approval today and now I wait for the surgeon's office to give me the date. It's all real now...not just theory and lots of reading of forums. I am 67 years old and at this tender age I have learned a few things...one is patience. I waited nearly 50 years to reunite with my hight school sweetheart and finally marry him (2 years now!). You are never too old to start a new life and do it right. I am excited and nervous all at the same time.
Bless you all for anything you want to tell me. I am 226 lbs of all ears :-)

You have to do what's right for you . I wish you the best in whatever your decision is and see you on the losers bench soon . Keep us updated! This forum is a great place to vent and be supportive of each other. :ph34r:

You have to do what's right for you . I wish you the best in whatever your decision is and see you on the losers bench soon . Keep us updated! This forum is a great place to vent and be supportive of each other. :ph34r:

Redhead, If we still had perfect bodies, I'd be worried. However, we are in bondage to sin and decay. We are all dying and our bodies are failing. God has given us the tools, and the doctors to combat this in whatever way we can. We can do this to the glory of God. We don't have to worry about messing up what God created. Adam and Eve did that for us. I'm glad you've come to peace with this. It's a good thing.

I'm also here to say you are not alone! My husband was supportive at first when it was still just an idea out in space somewhere but as time crept closer and reality set in, he went through a very insecure phase that was extremely stressful when added to obvious stress of just having the surgery itself (and going across the border to do it). He set up road blocks and tried to sabotage my financial ability to have the surgery and when I pushed through it and the surgery was done he switched to being a jerk and telling me he knew I had plans to leave him after I lost the weight. All of this totally sucks when one of my main motivations to have the surgery was thinking about how much my husband would love the new me, I wanted to be the wife I felt he could stroll with in public and be proud to have me by his side. He was always good to me and never made me feel bad about my weight before and always told me he loved me no matter my size I was always beautiful but this is something I wanted to do for me and him. I think whoever made the comment before was right about having a fat partner is 'safe' for some people.
Anyway, I'm down 43 lbs in 9 weeks and I have just continued to reassure him and love on him and things are really getting better on this issue. I think his mind is starting to relax as he realizes that I love him and our family and I had the surgery to improve the quality of life for me and my family. I can already do things with the kids I couldn't do before and it's a great feeling and he is really starting to 'enjoy' the new me Best of luck to you and your hubby!

Love SHOULD be supporting each other but very often it is not.People who have that are very lucky.I didnt want to use the word manipulate but lets really think about how often in our lives we do that anyway.
What I am really trying to say without being too blunt is this.Change is sometimes very scary.Especilly when it is not our choice and forced upon us by choices and desicions others make.BE NICE about this.It is your choice to change your life.You feel you need it,you are ready for it,gr8.We are usually excited and they dont share that as they dont feel it like we do.
It is our jobs to get them to a point that they do.With love and kindness and understanding....womanly ways I would say!

*sigh* me too. We took out insurance 12 months ago specifically to enable a wl procedure, and now he is starting to make it into an issue. Plus, he's put himself on a diet and likes to tell me how easy it is to lose weight "the right way." In our case, I think it's a loss of control (over me) issue - so far he hasnt managed to guilt me out of the procedure. I am resolute - I deserve to discover "me" again, and the kids deserve it too.
You're not alone, I understand your frustration

Hi
Just a different take on this.Of course he will be threatened by you getting skinny.It is kind of safe to have a fat partner,especially if he is overweight himself.This is normal reaction for some that are overweight.
You have to remember you are highly motivated to make changes,you are going to have surgery.He is not as it is not "his thing" but yours.We are often enablers in our partners bad habits weather it is eating or whatever else.
What Im trying to say is you have to also try and see it from a partners point of view,an overweight partner.Ease them into healthy eating by cooking healthy.Empty a drawer or a hiding place for him to keep his junk.Be gentle about this as no one is right or wrong now,it is just a challenging new situation and every person might handle it different.
My housemate lost 30 pounds,started even before I had surgery,just because of the fear of being the overweight one eventually.
This is a road that you have chosen for yourself,you will find in the end no one can really help us and support is not going to mean everyone in your house now do what you do and be how you are.He will find his own way to deal with it.Just be nice.Be reassuring.Cook tasty healthy meals,dont expect him to eat less.And as for the junk,just try to not make a big issue out of it.He might ease off on it if you just dont overreact to things now.
Remember,you love this man and he loves you.You want to deal with this in a peaceful way.Try and pull him into your new life gently and reassuringly and do not tell him what to do.He is a man.Use your womanly ways to get him in your healthy corner,he just needs to think the changes he makes eventually WAS HIS OWN IDEA!...lol
Difficult really but come on,us girls mostly get what we want,how we want it, if we just go about it the right way!
My family went about their lives and eating as always and I just had to cook it and buy it.hehehe,they did start helping with the shopping when I started buying so much food that an army couldnt finish it ever,I was hungry man,shopping helped.
Good luck and it will make you stronger in this process if you can just understand that most people who didnt have the surgery will never really get it,how little we can eat,what we eat,that we desire food, that it is soooo hard sometimes.Give him time,just back off from him about the surgery a little.He will process it in his own good time.
Share your excitement with us on the forum,it helps.

make sure you drink your protien supplements. you will be hungry but keep drinking eating Jello etc. but first your protien supplements.

Wow, I could have wrote your post! My husband is acting the same way. He even had the nerve to say when I lose weight, I will leave him. He pisses me off with being so insecure. I am doing this for my health and its really embrassing going to the pretests and he is not there. I only have one more test which is the ERD and I have to have a driver so he has no choice but to go. I made sure I schedule it on his off day so he want have no excuse. It hurts when your love ones don't support you. Its all good. I am still getting it done. My husband is also overweight and needs to lose weight too. He has had a stroke, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetics but he refuses to get the surgery and feel nothing is wrong with his weight. I was his caregiver when he had to learn how to walk all over again due to the stroke. Anyway, back to your question. Pray and believe that everything will work out. I read a post where a guy felt the same way when his wife had the surgery and he was so encouraged after seeing her lose weight that he had the sleeve several months later too. That's what I am hoping that by me having the surgery, that it want only help me, but hopefully he will be encouraged and do the same. I have decided to stop stressing him about it and not bring it up to him. I feel the less I talk about to him the less he will kill my joy about it. Anyway, keep the faith and I hope all turn out well. Pretty soon we will be on the losers bench and hopefully our husbands will too. If not, we will still love them.

So sorry you are dealing with this also. I would think they would be happy and supportive for us. This is not something we decided in one day. I just don't understand how they don't see that we need them involved. My husband and my kids are the only ones i've told so I really need his support now.
However, I REFUSE to let him stop me or make me feel bad. So he is either going to support me or not but I will not change my mind!

I haven’t even had the sugary yet and I have already noticed my husband being distant. At first he seemed to be real supportive but now that he sees this is really going to happen I have noticed changes. He doesn’t want to talk about it and seems to get annoyed if I even bring it up! He says we will talk about it closer to surgery date. The other night he had the nerve to say he sees me changing. I just don’t get it. I am so hurt that he would feel that after I lose the weight I will crave other men’s attention. I tried to tell him that has not even crossed my mind! I mean even being overweight I get male attention so wtf is he really saying?
I am trying to show him that I am doing this to get the healthy not just for me but him and our kids. Being overweight has changed me so much. I am often depressed and isolated. I don’t even want to get out of the house because I hate being overweight! I have tried and tried to lose weight and I always fail! Another man is the last damn reason I would be having surgery. If a man didn’t want me at my worst I sure don’t think he deserves me at my best.
He also has gained weight over the years and I really thing that he is not happy with himself either. He just tries to hide it. Our 7 year daughter told him last night he should have the surgery with me and he said he was going to lose weight on his on! Well good for him. I will support him either way. However the fact is don’t try to bring me down because you are miserable with yourself and try to put this on me..
And to top that off he keeps bringing JUNK in the house after I have told him not to. I am trying to lose as much weight as I can during my supervised diet. I know I don’t have to eat it but I’m also trying to not only get myself in better eating habits but our kids too. So why bring it in period!? Every time I go on diets I always used to joke that he tries to sabotage it but now I really believe that’s exactly what he is doing!
I have been in tears all day today because his whole altitude has changed. He is so damn moody. The fact is if our marriage does happen to fall apart after the surgery it won’t BE BECAUSE OF ME! It will be his own damn attitude and lack of support that will push me away.
Does anyone have any advice?

A regular sized plate is anywhere from 9 to 15 inches so it is never a good tool for measuring. The difference between a 9" cake and a 15" cake is several different servings!
You can eat (initially) what your doctor says you can. Later (after several months) you will find out what normal is for you. Likely somewhere between 3/4 a cup and a cup and a half. Average at a year is one cup. Measured in a measuring cup mind you, not on a plate
And sure this question gets asked a lot...but if you don't want to answer it, don't Wouldn't that be nicer?

So I was scheduled for surgery tomorrow, 10/29, but because of the storm that will be here soon, my surgery is getting cancelled. Delaware is under a state of emergency and there is a driving ban in effect. Oh well, I guess that means I can eat normally for a few more weeks. lol. I know it will most likely be a month or more before they can reschedule it. As long as everyone stays safe in this storm, I can't really complain too much about rescheduleing my surgery.

My surgery was completed on 2/22/12, so I am about 8 months out. I had buyer's remorse for the first day or two, but things got better.
The good: I have not had any complications. Within the first week, I was able to cease taking my high blood pressure medicine. I gradually gained more energy. So far, I have lost 125lbs, which includes the 21 or so pounds lost in preparation for the surgery. I have scoliosis, and reducing my weight has helped tremendously to reduce my aches and pains. I feel great. I have more energy. I can walk and walk and walk before getting tired. I have discovered bones that I never "knew" that I had. My collar bones are more apparent and even my temples have more definition. I have gone from a size 26/28 to a size 18. I can now buy XL shirts and they fit nicely.
The bad: I am not a fan of the bagginess, but I hope that I will see some natural resolution to this. My inner thighs look like deflated balloons. Bowel movements can be challenging. I cannot always drink enough Water, which was a problem at times when my husband and I were out for long walks during the summer. I react violently to sugar. Granted, why would I even want one of the things that helped to contribute to my obesity, but who doesn't occasionally want a taste of a dessert? I have found that if I have sugar, I will tend to have massive mood swings. I may even become slightly lightheaded. I went overboard once and had a milkshake. An hour or so afterwards, I had a bad bout of diarrhea. At least I know now what I can do if I ever get really stopped up.
Overall: Having the surgery has been a life changing experience. I feel so different and so much healthier. I am about 62lbs away from my prescribed goal and I definitely feel as though I am going to make it this time.

eggs are known to be oppositional/defiant. I eat them every day now but early on they came back like an unsigned check.

Started my pre op diet Sept 5. Had surgery on the 19th. It's now Oct 27. I have lost a total of 38lbs in less than two months

Some guys can actually change their thinking. It helps if he thinks it is his idea. If you can work around the ego it can happen.
I was dead set against my wife's operation and had air-tight objections. Then I went to a support group to solidify my views by debunking all that was said. When I left I was planning my sleeving to the shock of my wife.
A man changing his mind is a miracle but miracles do happen.

Your husband needs to talk to my husband, I had this surgery because of so many health problems and the shear fact that I felt like crap every darn day, now that I have lost 87 lbs my husband is like a kid with a new toy, he says he feels like he's having an affair every day!

Party in the bathroom after a month long stall! Kicked up Protein and increased Water. Woo hoo!

I'm tryin to lose 20lbs in November. It's a tough goal but very possible with this lovely tool we call a sleeve!! Lol that wud put me at 164 so much closer to my goal!! Of 140!!! Wish me luck!!