SusieK710

I put on the dress that I have on in my before picture...I asked my 7 yr old to take a picture of me today! Just 2 months out! He said, "mom, you don't like taking pictures!" So I told him to just take it! I was so surprised when I did the side by side photo, what did we ever do without these!!! Holy crap...I SAW the difference!
 
Is it possible to look at yourself everyday and NOT see the changes? In my case YES!!! I'm still working on my mind seeing me as a lighter version of myself...and sometimes I just don't see it...but today I did! And for the first time in a long time I like what I am seeing!
 
Happy Friday, and thanks for listening to my rant!!!!

http://www.stuff.co....r-says-shes-fat
 
Dear Mum,
 
I was seven when I discovered that you were fat, ugly and horrible. Up until that point I had believed that you were beautiful - in every sense of the word. I remember flicking through old photo albums and staring at pictures of you standing on the deck of a boat. Your white strapless bathing suit looked so glamorous, just like a movie star. Whenever I had the chance I'd pull out that wondrous white bathing suit hidden in your bottom drawer and imagine a time when I'd be big enough to wear it; when I'd be like you.
But all of that changed when, one night, we were dressed up for a party and you said to me, ''Look at you, so thin, beautiful and lovely. And look at me, fat, ugly and horrible.''
At first I didn't understand what you meant.
''You're not fat,'' I said earnestly and innocently, and you replied, ''Yes I am, darling. I've always been fat; even as a child.''
 
In the days that followed I had some painful revelations that have shaped my whole life. I learned that:
1. You must be fat because mothers don't lie.
2. Fat is ugly and horrible.
3. When I grow up I'll look like you and therefore I will be fat, ugly and horrible too.
Years later, I looked back on this conversation and the hundreds that followed and cursed you for feeling so unattractive, insecure and unworthy. Because, as my first and most influential role model, you taught me to believe the same thing about myself.
With every grimace at your reflection in the mirror, every new wonder diet that was going to change your life, and every guilty spoon of ''Oh-I-really-shouldn't'', I learned that women must be thin to be valid and worthy. Girls must go without because their greatest contribution to the world is their physical beauty.
 
Just like you, I have spent my whole life feeling fat. When did fat become a feeling anyway? And because I believed I was fat, I knew I was no good.
But now that I am older, and a mother myself, I know that blaming you for my body hatred is unhelpful and unfair. I now understand that you too are a product of a long and rich lineage of women who were taught to loathe themselves.
Look at the example Nanna set for you. Despite being what could only be described as famine-victim chic, she dieted every day of her life until the day she died at 79 years of age. She used to put on make-up to walk to the letterbox for fear that somebody might see her unpainted face.
 
I remember her ''compassionate'' response when you announced that Dad had left you for another woman. Her first comment was, ''I don't understand why he'd leave you. You look after yourself, you wear lipstick. You're overweight - but not that much.''
Before Dad left, he provided no balm for your body-image torment either.
 
''Jesus, Jan,'' I overheard him say to you. ''It's not that hard. Energy in versus energy out. If you want to lose weight you just have to eat less.''
That night at dinner I watched you implement Dad's ''Energy In, Energy Out: Jesus, Jan, Just Eat Less'' weight-loss cure. You served up chow mein for dinner. (Remember how in 1980s Australian suburbia, a combination of mince, cabbage, and soy sauce was considered the height of exotic gourmet?) Everyone else's food was on a dinner plate except yours. You served your chow mein on a tiny bread-and-butter plate.
As you sat in front of that pathetic scoop of mince, silent tears streamed down your face. I said nothing. Not even when your shoulders started heaving from your distress. We all ate our dinner in silence. Nobody comforted you. Nobody told you to stop being ridiculous and get a proper plate. Nobody told you that you were already loved and already good enough. Your achievements and your worth - as a teacher of children with special needs and a devoted mother of three of your own - paled into insignificance when compared with the centimetres you couldn't lose from your waist.
 
It broke my heart to witness your despair and I'm sorry that I didn't rush to your defence. I'd already learned that it was your fault that you were fat. I'd even heard Dad describe losing weight as a ''simple'' process - yet one that you still couldn't come to grips with. The lesson: you didn't deserve any food and you certainly didn't deserve any sympathy.
 
But I was wrong, Mum. Now I understand what it's like to grow up in a society that tells women that their beauty matters most, and at the same time defines a standard of beauty that is perpetually out of our reach. I also know the pain of internalising these messages. We have become our own jailors and we inflict our own punishments for failing to measure up.
 
No one is crueler to us than we are to ourselves.
But this madness has to stop, Mum. It stops with you, it stops with me and it stops now. We deserve better - better than to have our days brought to ruin by bad body thoughts, wishing we were otherwise.
 
And it's not just about you and me any more. It's also about Violet. Your granddaughter is only 3 and I do not want body hatred to take root inside her and strangle her happiness, her confidence and her potential. I don't want Violet to believe that her beauty is her most important asset; that it will define her worth in the world. When Violet looks to us to learn how to be a woman, we need to be the best role models we can. We need to show her with our words and our actions that women are good enough just the way they are. And for her to believe us, we need to believe it ourselves.
 
The older we get, the more loved ones we lose to accidents and illness. Their passing is always tragic and far too soon. I sometimes think about what these friends - and the people who love them - wouldn't give for more time in a body that was healthy. A body that would allow them to live just a little longer. The size of that body's thighs or the lines on its face wouldn't matter. It would be alive and therefore it would be perfect.
Your body is perfect too. It allows you to disarm a room with your smile and infect everyone with your laugh. It gives you arms to wrap around Violet and squeeze her until she giggles. Every moment we spend worrying about our physical ''flaws'' is a moment wasted, a precious slice of life that we will never get back.
 
Let us honour and respect our bodies for what they do instead of despising them for how they appear. Focus on living healthy and active lives, let our weight fall where it may, and consign our body hatred in the past where it belongs. When I looked at that photo of you in the white bathing suit all those years ago, my innocent young eyes saw the truth. I saw unconditional love, beauty and wisdom. I saw my Mum.
Love, Kasey xx
 
This is an excerpt from Dear Mum, a collection of letters from Australian sporting stars, musicians, models, cooks and authors revealing what they would like to say to their mothers before it's too late, or would have said if only they'd had the chance.
All royalties go to the National Breast Cancer Foundation. Published by Random House and available now.

I haven't blogged as much as I had hoped I would. Tonight, though, I can't get to sleep, so I thought this would be as good an opportunity as any to get some of these thoughts and see what they look like on the screen. I've seen a number of threads where people make their confessions or things like that. I don't know if I'm these will be as dramatic as all that, but as I'm approaching 5 months post op, a lot about me has changed, and a lot has stayed the same. So here's where I am tonight:
 
1. Losing weight changes so much in your life, but it doesn't change everything. This is obvious, yet something that I need to remind myself of from time to time. I'm extremely lucky-- I am, and was before surgery, very happy with my life in general. I have a great husband, great kids, a great job, and I'm meeting many of my professional goals. But the peripheral problems are still there, nagging: worries about work, paying for my son's college, questioning whether or not I'm doing the right thing going back to school in the fall (I'm getting my doctorate). Stress continues. It's not unbearable, but man can it back up.
 
2 I'm terrified of gaining weight back. When I go to the support group or read stories on the message boards about people who have reached their goals and then slowly start putting it back on-- it just makes me so scared. Hopefully that fear with keep me focused. I also don't want to be totally obsessed about my weight for the rest of my life.
 
3. I'm hung up on certain numbers. I've lost 70 pounds and I should be so thrilled, but a big part of me simply won't believe that this is actually happening until I reach some major goals. I'm 4 pounds away from one of them now. 186. I have not seems 186 in more than 18 years.
 
4. The more weight I lose, the more my husband's weight bothers me. I adore this man; there's simply no doubt about this. But I feel like I'm working hard to make myself the best I can be and to be a healthy role model for our kids. And I'm watching him get bigger. He's picking up my slack. If I make the same amount of something that I used to, he eats his share and the part that I can no longer eat. I'm worried about his health and his self-image. I'd kinda like to keep him around for a while.
 
5. I'm really, really proud of myself. I am. And I'm not good at being proud of myself. I'm running, for God's sake. I've never been a runner, and I ran a 5k two weeks ago, and I'm jogging 2 or 3 miles on the treadmill 3-4 times a week right now. I want to scream it from the rooftops because I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD DO THIS. I wore a pair of size 12 jeans tonight. I haven't done that in more than 18 years.
 
6. Some of my friends are getting weird about it. Most are extremely supportive, but others seem uncomfortable with the thought of me no longer being the fat friend.
 
7. I'm uncomfortable with the compliments sometimes. Especially at work and that kind of thing. I always tell people I had surgery, and I find myself saying it as though that discounts the hard work that I've done. And I feel like the people I work with are constantly looking me up and down, assessing me. It's weird.
 
8. I'm so worried about extra skin. I've always had great boobs, and they are definitely deflating a bit. My arms are getting flappy, too. I'm terrified that I'm going to look like Jabba the Hutt's skinny sister.
 
9. Did I mention that I'm terrified about gaining weight? I don't want to look like Jabba the Hutt's fatter sister, either.
 
10. I still enjoy drinking wine, and I always will. Maybe that's why I'm losing 1.5-2 pounds a week instead of 3, but I can deal with that. I plan on living my life. If I don't work out some kind of balance, I won't be able to do this long term. And I must do this long term.

Seriously??? Did that happen to ME?? Three co-workers called me skinny yesterday. I have NEVER, and I mean NEVER, EVER, EVER been called skinny in my entire life. I am still trying to process the new me. It has taken some adjustments, especially trying to shop for clothes. I don't know what size to buy anymore---I find myself gravitating naturally toward the plus sizes. I still feel like and see myself as the fat girl, and it shocks the heck out of me to see a picture of myself. This is so bizarre, but totally bizarre in a wonderful, surreal way. I decided to have the sleeve for better health, and before the surgery, being thinner was not the biggest motivation for me. I have never been thin, and I had no plans or big ideas about what I would look like after losing weight; I just wanted to be healthy. I thought I was so prepared emotionally and mentally, but I just can't comprehend this new person I see in the mirror. I am very grateful that the weight is coming off, and having met my goal of being healthy has been great. But, I don't know how to deal with all of the attention I am getting. Part of me, of course, likes to hear the compliments. But, a great part of me is kind of embarrassed, shy, and feeling a bit overwhelmed with the questions: how are you doing this, give me some pointers, show me what you are doing, etc. Until I saw a recent picture of myself and compared it to my before picture, I just didn't realize the change in my body---I look in the mirror every day, so I don't see the changes as much. I have not shared how I am losing weight with a lot of people, so the questions of how I am losing weight is a bit difficult for me to answer. My standard answer on how I am losing weight is HARD WORK! I sometimes feel deceitful when people ask me how I am losing weight, but hard work it is!! I tell them I am on a high protein, low carb diet, and that I exercise at least 4 times a week. And that is the absolute truth! Does anyone else feel bad for not sharing the whole story when people ask you how you are losing weight?

So it's 2 days before my 7 month sleeve anniversary- and it's blowing my mind... I remember thinking, I'm losing to slow, etc. But wow- the before and afters are speaking for themselves. Today I'm weighing in at 153.9 lbs from my heighest pre-op weight of 216 for a total loss of -62.1 lbs and I'm -18.9 lbs away from my ultimate goal of 135, and I'm only a few pounds for my second optimal goal of 145 (doctors original goal for me).
 
A lot of the reason I haven't posted in my blog lately is this funny thing called life. I've been living it. I wasn't before. Plain and simple. I hid behind my computer, I was socially done- I had no motivation to go out, or even go shopping. I had to force myself to interact and get dressed up. Well, a few months ago a met a nice guy, and we started casually dating. In January he asked me to make it official the day before his parents flew in for a visit so he could properly introduce me as his girlfriend. Life has been amazing ever since. He moved a couple of weeks ago and now we are doing the long distance thing while I finish my PhD for the next year or so. I'm getting back on the wagon and tracking my calories and carbs and protein like crazy on Myfitnesspal.com (screen name DLMeekie if you want to follow me). It's only been 7 months since my surgery, but it already feels like a life time ago. I can't believe I will be at goal or near it at my 1 year surgiversary. I'm so happy now, that I struggle thinking it could get any better.
 
My weight loss has slowed down tremendously, but I'm okay with that as long as I know I'm doing my best to eat right and work out. Since I stopped swimming last semester I joined a women's only gym with onsite daycare and I've been going at least 3 days a week, and walking at a steep incline for 3 miles, then I rotate the weight machines (upper body versus lower body) for at least an hour. So basically, I'm in the gym 3 days a week for 2 hours.I miss swimming a lot, and I don't enjoy the gym as much, BUT I'm getting it done. And it's not nearly as hard as it use to be. It fits into my schedule and my life with my son.
 
My only regret still remains. I wish I would have done this surgery sooner. I wish I could go back and reclaim my 20's. But I can't. So I must embrace my 30's when they arrive in 6 months or so.... Life is good.
 
Height: 5'9
 
Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216
 
1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (Achieved 11/27)
2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145
 
Sleeve Journey:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs)
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs)
Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5)
Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5)
Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1)
Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1)
Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs)
Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2)
Week 15 (11/30): 167.3 (-5.8)
Week 16 (12/7): 168.1 (+.8)
Week 17 (12/14): 164.6 (-3.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 12/17/12- 4 Month Anniversary (-8.7 lbs)
Week 18 (12/21): Holiday Break/Vacation- No Scale Available
Week 19 (12/28): Holiday Break/Vacation- No Scale Available
Week 20 (1/4/13): 164.5 (-.1)
Week 21 (1/11): 161.5 (-3.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 01/17/13- 5 Month Anniversary (-3.1 lbs)
Week 22 (1/18): 161.7 (+.2)
Week 23 (1/25): 158.7 (-3.0)
Week 24 (2/1): Out of town- No scale Available
.2Week 25 (2/8): 157.2 (-1.5)
Week 26 (2/15): 157.2 ( .0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 02/17/13- 6 Month Anniversary 157.2 (-3.3 lbs)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 03/17/13- 7 Month Anniversary 153.9 (-3.3 lbs)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 04/17/13- 8 Month Anniversary
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 05/17/13- 9 Month Anniversary
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 06/17/13- 10 Month Anniversary
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 07/17/13- 11 Month Anniversary
 
ONE YEAR SURGERY ANNIVERSARY~~~> 08/17/13- 12 Month Anniversary

Well, only 3 days to go before surgery day! I got a call this morning to pre-register for the surgery. They just needed to verify information. They set up an appointment for a nurse to call me tomorrow between 1 and 2, to ask questions about medical history for the anesthesiologist. I won't know my surgery time until some time on Thursday.
 
After all the doubts and second-guessing, I'm finally at peace with this decision. I know it is the best thing I could do for myself. If I didn't do this, I would eventually be over 300 lbs, and have additional health issues, and probably die of a heart attack before I was 50. I can't weight to get off my medications, and get rid of this sleep apnea, and just be able to keep up with my kids.

Today I finished the last of my pre-op stuff...Last of the labs, my EKG, an anesthesiologist, paperwork completed and now I only need a time which I will find out on Friday! So excited! I have been doing really well on my 1000 cal diet which is second nature now...and have lost about 10 pounds so far! 4 days and a wake! Let the journey truly begin...so excited did I say that already! Good luck everyone!

It's been about 10 months since my surgery and I've lost 109.5 pounds total with about 30-40 more to go. It's...strange...being on the downswing of this rather amazing journey. Looking back over everything it's crazy to see how much life has changed in less than a year. I mean, I started out at 280+ pounds and plagued with constant exhaustion of all that extra weight on a 5'5 frame. Now I'm at 171.4 and I run 3+ miles at a time, zumba, kickbox, yoga and am looking into joining a climbing club. Some of the issues over the last 10 months have been harder to deal with than others. For example, I intellectually knew that my hair was probably going to thin but actually standing in the shower with practically hunks of my hair in my hand was....emotionally hard to deal with. For all of those who are just starting this process I highly, highly HIGHLY recommend using Bosley shampoo/conditioner/hair serum to help prevent loss and regrow hair. Expensive, yes, but worth it. It not only slowed the hair loss down but my hair is growing in thicker than ever!
 
Another interesting aspect to deal with has been the body/mind disconect. It's just plan weird to go into a store and have no clue where to go or what to start trying on. Your body is melting away so fast (especially in the beginning) that its shocking and you feel like your mind says one thing, the mirror says another, and your body lost 5 lbs during the 2 minutes you were trying on pants and now you have to go back into the store and find a smaller size. Fun, sure, frustrating, definitely.
 
In the beginning my weight loss was meteoric. It seemed the only thing I had to do was sneeze and I lost a pound. Once I hit 6 months, it started to slow and while that is sometimes frustrating I think it's also better mentally. I now have a chance to get to know my own body and to actually see where I'm losing weight. I measure inches lost once a month and it's been a great way to see that I'm still making progress even if the scale hasn't really moved. I basically take everything in 10 lb blocks and have little mini goals set to help keep my spirits up during stalls. Oh, and I also need to thank pneumonia. The 170's will always be The Pneumonia 10 since I pretty much zipped through them during 1 week. I finally went to the doctor thinking I had a bad ear infection/sinus infection and found out that I actually had that AND a bad case of pneumonia. Oops? While I wouldn't lie and say that I'm sorry that the 170s kinda just melted away from my fever and lack of interest in food, I would also have preferred not to have the plague. Gotta look on the bright side though, right? At least I now know why I've been so exhausted for the last week.
 
So I'm in the bottom bit of the 170s and I can actually see what my body is going to look like. I've been overweight for so long and since before puberty finally let go of me that I'm not exactly sure what my body type is. Hourglass? Lean runner physique? Pear? Delicate southern blossom? Hunchback of Notre Dame? *amused*. Yet now when I look in the mirror I can actually see the line definition of where muscle ends and the layer of chub begins. I can tell that my legs/arms/face are thinning faster than my middle and that the last 20 lbs will all be in my stomach area. My mom carries weight the same way and so it's not that big of a surprise. I have a feeling that those last 20 will be the true "Battle of the Bulge" and will be both frustrating and delightful. I'm actally rather pleased that I think I'm going to get the body type I've always secretly wanted, which is more lean runner with enough feminine curves to be interesting but not be Jessica Rabbit. Both delicate and strong.
 
My mind/body disconect has lessened over time and it's getting easier to know that this is me. That when I go out in public that people don't look at me and think "look at that fat girl". When I go to the doctors now I dont get the automatic "you are so obese you have to lose weight" talks from a doctor that is also oftentimes also overweight. (Yeah, anbody else ever notice the double standard of that?). I feel strong within myself and more confident every day. I've learned how to deal with what people say about my weight loss and how to deflect or disregard their comments. Its amazing how many people feel they have a right to comment on weight loss and tell you that it's either 'too fast to be healthy' or that 'you are turning into skin and bones and need to stop'. That last always makes me laugh because I look so thin in comparison to how I looked before, but it's still obvious that I'm carrying extra weight. My basic response to most questions on how I've managed to lose weight is that I had a "Lifeystle change". While I'm not ashamed about having had the surgery I also don't think it's every Tom, D.ick and Harry's business to know. I neither require, nor want, a casual aquiantance's judgement on my choices. And trust me, people have strong opinions one way or the other on having weight loss surgery. There are so many changes in my life that I want to make and this has helped give me the confidence to go after what I want. I want to look back in another year and be as amazed as I am now about how much life can change in a short amount of time.
 
For everyone who is thinking about doing this...you will be amazed at how great life can become. I'm not going to lie and say that it was always easy, but it has been worth it and I would do it all over again.

I am officially sleeved guys!!!
 
Kinda sore... But VERY happy!!
 
Been walking around the hospital & being drugged up lol
 
I would like to thank Everyone for their suppor!!!

The American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery has developed a chart for the treatment of bariatric patients
 
in the ER. The download contains information for the treatment of leaks, sepsis, intra-abdominal bleeding, obstructions
 
etc... The download comes in a PDF format so that you can download it for FREE before you go to the Emergency
 
Room.
 
You can download this PDF for here:
 
http://asmbs.org/store/

I have been on a weightloss journey for more then 3 years. For Two years I went to a weightloss specialist took metform, tried weightwatchers, Went on a medi diet of 500 calories even did a Betya shot 3 times a day (lost 2 pounds on that!) Felt discouraged...my husband cooked for me brought tiny lunches could never lose more then 20 pounds.
 
I moved back to Maui a year ago and kinda gave up was on and off on diffrent things but felt like I was doomed. I have PCOS I am not a big eatter but somehow my little 5'4 body reached 260 pounds. When I looked in the mirror I never saw myself anymore I felt buried. Who was this empty girl in the mirror?
 
I went to a weightloss seminar in Fla that was the first time I started to think about it. I found it the most depressing thing I had ever been too. I was sitting next to a man in a wheel chair around 600 pounds or so with an oxgen tank. He kept shoving food down his mouth the whole time. There were several others doing the same. Unfortanately I was so consumed and depressed by everything around me I ran out as soon as it ended. Thinking ahhh.....this is not for me. It stuck in my head why would someone eat at a weightloss seminair all the guestions were about food and stopping soda. Depressing. I did not hear any of the facts I missed that part left feeling defeated.
 
I have a good friend who is a huge sucuss with RYN but...I did not want that I decided to try to go to find out information again. I made two appointments one withh a general surgeon here and one with an expert who lives in San Fransico but has been coming to Maui for years. The first Dr. was very much anti sleeve but I liked the second doctor. After only one appoinment tons of reasearched I decided the sleeve was for me. I went to my first appointment in Sept and had the procedure done on Nov 15th.
 
My mom had already made plans to come I had some time off so decided why wait until next year? I decided to do it right away. Fear almost stopped me several times I was so emotional the weeks leading to the date. I mourned for food I felt like I was saying goodbye to an old friend. LOL
 
When I almost chickened out my husband asked me what is the problem I said I was afraid of change..He reminded me that age 23 I left the states and moved to Japan to Marry him. He told me change is my middle name and that I should say good bye to food and choose health it made me feel better.
 
I am 11 days Post op I just had to take the jump my journey is just begining, Hello Health and Julie I am going to find the NEW me soon!

Holy Toledo! Of course I couldn't be simple- I had to reach my goal weight in dramatic fashion! God's divine sense of humor has struck again...
 
So I had a first/blind date with a gentlemen officer who ended up getting sick on Sunday and cancelled his date but asked to reschedule. Well, last night he texted me and told me his work (he's in a higher level officer training course at the moment at our local military installation) will be at my University on Thursday- for the lecture I'm co-hosting for a General who's speaking. This would be the same lecture I've been nervously working so hard for because my ex boyfriend was going to be attending and I wanted to take the opportunity to show off my new me. Apparently God's seeing fit to screw with my head and put them both in that lecture hall at the same time..... Spanx and hot bodycon business dress- don't fail me now! Thursday is D- Day for me as far as I'm concerend.
 
Then I woke up... I woke up and got on the scale and I made my goal weight this morning... And the guest lecture I'm hosting that the ex and current male interests are both attending is in 2 days.... Well played God. Well played.
 
I <3 my sleeve!!!!!
 
Height: 5'9
 
Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216
 
1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (achieved 11/27)
2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145
 
Sleeve Journey:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs)
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs)
Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5)
Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5)
Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1)
Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1)
Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs)
Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2)
***1st Goal Weight Achieved Week (11/27): 169.5 lbs***

So today is post op day 15. I did not get much sleep last night therefore i slept a large portion of the day. I still have a little soreness from the procedure so I'am going light on the exercising. Mentally I feeling ok but I must admit I miss eating alot. I guess I never thought that I would miss the act of eating and drinking so much. I know this sounds so bad but sometimes I just wish I could just chew some food.
 
Exercise:
30 minutes cardio: speed 2.2, incline 7, calories burned 303
50 sit ups
10 girl push ups
 
Food/liquids:
30 oz of plain water
11 oz (2) Priemier Protien chocolate shakes ( each 11oz shake contains 30g of protien 160 cals, and 1g sugar)
3 oz of pureed marie calender chicken pot pie
1 oz sugar free popsicle
 
Things I plan on working on tomorrow: being more active and not laying in bed all day and trying to get all 64ozs of fluids down.
 
Surgery date 11/06/12
Starting weight 260
Current weight 239

I haven't updated in awhile as I'm back to my busy life. Returned to work this Monday, 12 hours shifts, no restrictions. I am doing pretty well, keeping up, keeping hydrated. I was afraid of not having time to drink, let alone eat, but so far I've been able to make it work. I'm also babysitting my 1 year and 2 year old grandsons-that seems to wear me out faster than work! I had this surgery to help me keep up=but so far I'm struggling just as much as before. A bit disappointing, but I'm hoping my stamina increases as I lose weight and get a regular exercise regimen. Speaking of which, I started back to the gym on Saturday. My plan is to go every day off, even if I'm babysitting I will go afterwards. But there is no way to go on work days.
Other issues I'm running into include constipation, back pain, and so much gas!! I think the back pain is just due to the abdominal muscles having gotten weak since surgery. For the constipation I have increased the fiber I take daily and now taking colace daily as well. This may also be contributing to the gas thing.
So at least I'm finally losing weight again, I said goodbye to the 240's this Tuesday. I also got into some size 18 jeans and my work jackets that I had "outgrown". In case anybody is curious about my stats, i started out this journey at 277lbs, wearing size 22 jeans and 3x scrubs. My scrubs at work are now XL pants and 2x tops. I'm an apple shape-that hasn't changed too much yet. But I'm hoping I will become a thinner apple!!

Happpy Birrrthhddaayyyy to meeeee! The greatest present I could have ever given myself? VSG. Period. End of story. I paid out of pocket and went broke for this surgery, and my only regret is that I didn't do this sooner. I've never in my life experienced this kind of weight loss success, the little bit I did came from extreme dieting, deprevation, and I dare say an eating disorder. Nothing ever lasted. I might get excited at a few Weight Watchers meetings than, bam, it would come right back on with in a month or a couple of weeks. I use to be relieved to lose just a few pounds over the course of a month, today I'm now down over -40 lbs since surgery 12 weeks ago. This week I lost an addition -2lbs and yesterday I celebrated my 29th birthday. Normally this event has me plotting out my food plan of attack 2 weeks in advance. I would eat anything and everything and use my birthday as an excuse to binge. This year I did not, and could not. Old habits are hard to break, I even picked up a couple of my favorite go to items, and low and behold my sleeve wasn't having any of it. I felt foolish for even trying.
 
I found a dress (a business bodycon style dress) in my closet that I bought over 2 years ago online. I was overweight but I figured if I lost 20 lbs it might fit and I was in love with the style. When it arrived in the mail I was so deeepresssseeeeddd to learn that even if I lost 20 lbs that dress was NOT going to fit. I felt bad and humiliated as usual, but instead of returning it as I should have, I hung it up, tags still attached and moved it to the back of my closet... because maybe, just maybe one day something magical might happen. Last week I rediscovered it and almost gasped. Could it be?? The dress?! But have I lost enough???? Well, I put it on and bam... it fit. Like a glove. It only took -40lbs! But it fits!
 
I wore it for the first time yesterday on my birthday, then wore it watch Maya Angelou lecture on women in leadership, then proceeded to a dinner date. It wasn't a huge blow out birthday, but it was GREAT. And I felt GREAT. And I felt beautiful. I haven't been able to say that in a long time. I felt beautiful. Today I took the day off from work, and spent have the day at a spa getting a massage and facial, and the other half of the day completely gutting my closet. I literally cleared out HALF of my clothes that are too big for me. My room is a disaster, but I knew that these items had to go. I finished up with a late lunch with my exboyfriend who has been randomly appearing a lot more lately (giggles). Tonight is my birthday party with friends, followed by a going away party for another friend tomorrow night. I'm about to see a whole lot of people I haven't seen in a while and I know there will be LOTS to be said!
 
Birthdays use to be about food, and celebrating with food. This birthday was about celebrating me, and I went a totally different direction. I definitly see more birthdays with Spa Day's involved including a new special birthday outfit. Here's to new beginnings, new bodies, and new traditions. Cheers!
 
Height: 5'9
 
Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216
 
1st Primary Goal Weight: 169
2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145
 
Sleeve Journey:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5)
Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5)
Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1)
Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1)

It's Monday, and the good news is that it seems that the sharp, debilitating pain I was having on my left side has dissipated. It is now just a sore area that is tolerable. Prayers work!
The bad news, the local surgeon I was going to try to switch over to will not follow up with me. He apparently is not doing sleeves after all. So I am still debating about following up with my original surgeon for the long run. I still think I will try to find another office-I have just really lost all faith in him and his office staff.
But I am SO GRATEFUL to my Lord for touching my body and giving me relief! I think this is how I was supposed to feel at 2 weeks out. I really can't pinpoint when the pain stopped, but I realized on Sunday morning that getting out of the chair did not elicit that terrible stabbing pain. I kept expecting it to grab me all day, but nothing I did made it come....I pray it stays that way!
Thanks to everyone for the prayers and support, hopefully now I can focus on losing weight and rocking my own lil' sleeve!