Tink RN

Well, it is four months today since my surgery!!! Before surgery (April 13) I was 297.7 with a BMI of 45.3. The day of surgery (June 4) I was 283.8-BMI 44. I am now 224.5- BMI 36.2. SOOOOO,I have lost 59.3 since surgery, I have lost a total of 73.2 in 6 months. I did follow up blood work with my PCD, she took me off blood pressure and cholesterol meds. I am also of metformin, I still have to manage my diabetes but only with diet and exercise. Speaking of exercise--I actually like exercising!!!!! funny huh! I had to get in a good routine, I had to make sure exercise is like a perscription med, I must take everyday in order to feel better. Because I travel so much the Y works best for me, whatever city I am in, I go to the Y. I try to make sure I do an hour 3-5 days a week. I am scared because I have tried sampling everything, and I can eat everything, such as fried foods, haven't tried pizza or sweets, those are my weakness. I have decided to not to eat bread, the pasta I eat is whole wheat organic pasta. I am loving salmon, talapia, and halibut!!!! Mixed veggies!!! Also I stopped eating red meat. But my hair is falling out sooooo freaking bad!!!! I take all my vitamins, b12, calcium and vitamin. I bought some biotin 2 weeks ago. Still hair falling out. So my doc told me to increase my protein by eating a steak or something. I told my husband, he was so happy. LOL he was getting so sick of of fish, chicken and turkey. so he made the best steak I ever had!!! still cannot eat a whole meal so I shared with my daughter.
 
I have not told anyone. Only my husband and daughter knows. I still get negative comments from my family after they see the loss. "oh you have lost too much!! you look like you on drugs!!! I know your husband don't like that!!! Stupid stuff like that makes me just want to stay away!! I have better encouragement from people I work with. Thats sad, but hey you cannot pick your family. Because all of my 24/26 and 4x are falling off of me, I had to get new clothes. So I just bought a couple of things. I am in a 16w and 1x---HELL FREAKIN YEAH!!!!!! You should have seen my happy dance in the dressing room!!!! My daughter has stressed me about wearing a dress, I have not worn a dress in almost 3 years. So I tried on a dress, I still don't like how I look in dresses, still fat on my legs and I have still have my rolls.
 
I am not doing weights for my arms and legs. What can I do for my stomach? I know to do crunches/sit ups but is there a better way to do them that works? Also any suggestions with my hair loss? I go to the beautician every 2 weeks. I get my perm every 6 weeks. I think I need to take a break and get some braids. my doc says to lay off any perms or treatment because my hair will stop falling out around the 6 to 8 month mark. I am a black woman that cannot go natural, I don't have patience for the process of growing out my perm. I am headed to get a perm today, lol.

So which came first...my obesity or my depression? Tough call - seems to go hand in hand. Lets just say I finally hit rock bottom and I have got to reclaim my life. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. In high school, I more or less became anorexic. I never was a puker, I just wouldn't eat. Even at that time I was a size 10 at my smallest. (Yep..."big boned" chic to boot lol) Since high school, my weight has fluctuated. I will lose weight, then gain it all back plus some. I was blessed with a beautiful daughter in 2009 and my weight has ballooned out of control since. I weigh what I weighed when I was 9 mths preggers?! Other than work, I avoid being in public as much as possible. Any time I am out and about, I feel like other people look at me and think, "Ew. Gross!" People treat you different when you are heavy. Men don't make eye contact and smile while they hold doors open for you. People in general have a different demeanor when they are interacting with a fat chic. I miss feeling attractive. I want to have energy to play with my daughter. I want to stop avoiding social functions because everyone is Facebook happy and "tags" horrible photos of me. I want to feel like my sweet husband is attracted to me and proud of how I look. I want to enjoy shopping for clothes. I want to feel NORMAL!!! This isn't living. I feel sad and I have horrible self esteem. I have my first consult with the surgeon tomorrow for the vertical sleeve. I have started the process of all my insurance requirements (Cigna) and gathered paper work from my PCP and the Bariatric clinic I have been a card carrying member off intermittently since 2009. So...here I am. I am sure many of you can relate to my story. Any good vibes sent my way for speedy insurance approval are greatly appreciated. I look forward to getting to know you guys and sharing our journeys.
 
~Tink