MsShaunaMarie

Ok, lemme 'splain what your looking at here: The brown thing is my shirt. The denim color is my pants and the white thing is my TRAY TABLE ALL THE WAY DOWN with a couple inches to spare!! The blue tabbie looking thing is MY SEATBELT, not only fastened without an extender, but a few inches pulled out. Then just to be a smart@$$, I went and used the airplane bathroom JUST because I could!! HAHAAAAAAAAAA!!! I love it. Oh, what 98 lbs can do for a person!! Love it. Don't give up, people!!!
 
 

I walked the dogs just now, noticed the mail on the washer on my way out. It was an envelope from aetna.....my letter of appeal has been approved. I'm so relieved.

IT HAS BEEN FIVE MONTHS SINCE MY LIFE CHANGED!!
 
I walked in this morning wearing a new outfit. Complete chaos lol!!!! My "friend" started acting up again. Ever since my surgery, she started a crazy eating pattern and exercise day and night it seems like. She sat there and said NOTHING.
 
Once the other coworkers walked away, we started discussing the day and plans for the weekend. She found a new cool place and was thinking of going there Saturday night. I said awesome and then she said this: this is going to be fun, although I am not sure of "this" new you. You are no longer the beautiful SAFE friend. WTF?!?
I smiled and said " what you mean to say is, I am no longer the fat friend and you have seen nothing yet cupcake"
 
This is fuel for me. I am determine to be the beautiful, skinny, unsafe friend. Her and others that think like her, have no idea what's coming
P.S I learned today (from my NUT) it is important to keep my calories up above 600 calories. For my body to process protein properly and boost weight loss, my caloric intake have to be at a good level. From 600 to 800 but no higher than 1000 with exercise of course.

I finally added before and in progress pics. Took a lot for me to do that. Feel good about it now though
I don't think I even look like the same person - not even in the least. I know I don't feel like that person anymore

So.....this is me and my journey of what brought me to where I am today.... This blog may make you laugh, smile and even cry.. but I just want everyone to see who I am and what brought me to this amazing experience...
 
As of today I am 29 years old and 35 pounds lighter than I was a month ago... but what got me to the point of having to have the sleeve? Well let me lay it out for you...
 
I have always been fat...from the day I was came into this world I always had more padding than was needed! My parents and sisters are both extra fluffy as well so growing up I didn't realize how different I was or what I was missing out on or not doing because of my weight because being around my family I seemed normal...I never really got teased in school for my weight, there were occasional times where kids would tease me..one time I walked past a girls desk and she started shaking like there was an earthquake. I grew up in Arizona where there aren't earthquakes, the thing is she was the same size as me so I tried not to let it bother me.
 
Then there was the time when I wore a red shirt and kids called me the kool-aid man. After that I started wearing blacks, grays, browns, darker colors that never really brought attention to myself.. wow I just realized as I wrote that why I tend to still to this day wear those colors and shy away from anything bright!
 
In middle school my mom had me do weight watchers in the summer, I lost a good amount of weight, but I was still chunky, by the end of the school year I had gained it all back and then some. The thing is, I still wasn't bothered by my weight. Boys were interested in me and had been since the 4th grade, but that probably was because I was the only 4th grade girl that was already a full B cup..
 
In high school I always had a boyfriend, it seemed that was not an issue that my weight let get in the way. There were even times when I had a few boys interested in me at once, by the end of high school I was already in a size 18/20. But that didn't seem to bother me or stop me from doing anything. My weight was something I felt would never stop me from doing what I wanted. I was happy and that is all that mattered.
 
I started college and the same thing, still had boys interested in me. Met boys in classes and made me feel like there wasn't anything wrong with my weight. I always heard people say oh boys won't like you because of your weight, but to me it wasn't an issue. I seemed to be the serial fat girl dater. After a few years of the college life I decided to move away from my family and all I knew in Arizona. It was time to branch out and I felt as though I was going no where in this town...
 
So I packed up my car and moved to San Diego at the age of 21. A city that I loved, though didn't know a single soul in. A big move for this girl who actually was shy! You wouldn't have guessed that with all that you've read so far, I bet So I started a new job, had my own place and that's when I realized that being fat, was being fat and there was nothing good about it. Living in California and a beach city to top it off there were beautiful girls everywhere.
 
Going to the beach I felt like a beached whale and that everyone stared at me... but then again I started meeting men.. they were interested in me and I thought wow if they are interested in me and there are those barbie girls out there then I am doing ok. I did start to work out and eat a little healthier, tried to get into the California lifestyle.. But even working out and eating right didn't seem to matter my weight stayed the same and eventually I gained more and more.
 
I had a few serious relationships, one right after another and they all loved me for me and thought I was beautiful no matter what size I was. I was always told I had such a pretty face, so again never let my weight get to me. I've done walks and the more weight I gained the more the simple things became harder...
 
I would determine if I would go somewhere based on how far I had to walk, if there were stairs, how crowded it was. I wouldn't go to a restaurant unless I knew there were tables instead of booths for the fear of not being able to fit into a booth.. Now I mention that the men I date were not fat, they were in good shape some in great shape with six packs!
 
I really started to become self conscious of who I was, what I looked like and who I had let myself become. My older sister had the lapband, lost a lot of weight but then had issues with the band and is slowly gaining the weight back. I started doing boxing and kickboxing at a boxing gym and loved it. I struggled but made it through every single hour long class!
 
Weight loss surgery has been something that I've thought about, but always thought I know I can lose the weight without it.. it will be my last resort! Then I met this new guy,... and we fell in love and got married! Going on just over a year right now. He is amazing, but he is fit, very active and health minded. That didn't seem to bother him, he always told me I was beautiful and loved me no matter what..
 
Then we decided we wanted to have children.. the thing is I hadn't had a period in years... I mean probably since I was in high school and college... and now I was 27 years old. I know what needs to happen to have babies... I was scared to tell him that I didn't have one and that I knew right now I would not be able to get pregnant. I so went to my OBGYN and started talking to her. She put me on medication to force me to have periods every 3 months... it worked, but still I was not ovulating. So she sent me to an endocrinologist.. and there is where I realized for one of the very first times in my life being fat is taking something from my life that I wanted so badly.
 
So they found out I had PCOS, a condition you get being overweight that causes you to resist insulin, you don't ovulate you don't get your monthly cycle. I felt like I was the only woman in the world who wanted to have regular periods every month! So they put me on medication for it to help me lose weight and get my cycles back.. well I never happened. I was thinking about weight loss surgery again, after all it would get me in the best position to have children the fastest. But I was worried too.. what if it doesn't work? Then I have tried every option possible and I am still left fat and childless... then will my husband still love me?
 
Then the true nightmare began... as I mentioned my entire family was over weight. Well as the years went on my mother was extremely overweight. She was 55 and struggling so much she was in a scooter..... my mother became very ill very fast.. she went to work on A thursday and became so ill that Saturday my dad took her to the ER. By the time I got into town, I knew I was going to lose my mother. Sunday morning at about 5 am my mother passed away. Her weight was the factor, they thought she had arthritis, which is why her back hurt and she had a scooter. Turns out it was kidney failure, and my mother had an infection and became septic. There was nothing that they could do for her in the hospital.
 
My sister and I lost our mother, our father lost his wife, my grandmother lost her daughter and her siblings lost their sister.. because of weight. That scared me because I was heading down the same path.. was that could to be me in 30 years? This happened June of 2012..
 
Then I had a dream a few night later... We were all back at the hospital and my mom was laying on the bed, she suddenly woke up and said, " Now that I'm ok, we all need to work on getting healthy". That was my breaking point, my vow to do whatever I had to do to live a long healthy life.
 
So I went to my Dr and said I want to do surgery, I went to the seminars and decided that I wanted to do the vertical sleeve. It was the best option and I have a little over 200 pounds to loose.. I was ready and willing to sacrifice anything to get my life on track. Being that I had already been going to the weight loss center I only had 2 more months until I could qualify through insurance since they required 6 months of visits..
 
So two months later my surgery date was set for Sept 14th, 2012. And I was ready. Insurance approval went through easy and I was set! Surgery day came and I still didn't feel like it was going to happen. My surgery went amazing, no complications I was on the table an hour. My recovery was just as great, I was discharged the next day by noon. I was at one of the best hospitals possible so I knew the care I was getting was what I needed.
 
Now here I am almost 4 weeks later and 35 pounds lighter. THis was the best decision of my life and I don't regret it. The only thing I regret is not doing it sooner. Maybe even sooner so maybe my mom would get to see how life changing it was and maybe make the decision to do something about it herself.. then maybe just maybe I would still have a mom... As today marks 4 months from the day she was taken from us all too soon..
 
So next time I think that being fat doesn't mean anything, I will think again because to me fat is no longer an option or a lifestyle.. it is going to be the old me, the me who really didn't think about what it was doing to me or my family.. Fat made me who I am today and without being this way I probably wouldn't have met my husband, but it also took my mother from me...
 
So here is to the start of the new non-fat me... seeing where this journey takes me. I know that wherever it does I will not be needing to ask for a seatbelt extender any longer

So yesterday I had my very first date post-op. I had met him online and was very nervous =) I had decided to tell him about my VSG before meeting him, so that was thankfully something he already knew about.
 
It went really well, one of the better first dates I've had. I am a pretty shy person, but I tried to open up more. He is very cute and though I figured we'd only spend a couple hours together it turned into like an 8 hour date. We had lunch, walked around shops, played mini-golf, played arcade games, and went to a movie. I think he had a good time too, or at least I assume he did since he kept suggesting that we could keep hanging out after lunch. I'm gonna give it a few days or so and then I think if he hasn't mentioned it maybe I will bring up a second date. After all, I don't wanna make him have to do all the work. I'm reservedly excited though!
 
I actually felt like I looked great. I should have worn a coat that was a little bigger because the zip hoodie I wore was almost there but not quite.
 
So on to my progress: I have now lost 53.4 pounds! It's really pretty incredible to see that number. I haven't seen below 280 in like 4 years and now I'm at 271.6! I can't believe it most days. I still can't see it in the mirror, but I can see it in pictures now!! I need to get back on track with my protein though - I haven't been logging my food lately and I don't want to fall into bad habits. I want to continue to lose and the only way I can make this long term is if I self-correct when I make mistakes or get off track. Plus, I haven't been working out as much. This week my goal is to work out Tues-Sun. I would work out today but I have to head off to work shortly.
 
I am like 15 pounds away from being able to fit into my Threadless t-shirts! I am sooooo excited about that. I collect t-shirts and have like 40+ that I will be able to wear very soon. And pants! I wore my 24s to the date yesterday and I think they looked great. 22s are still pretty far away, but I am gonna be sooooo stoked when I can fit into them! It will be simply incredible.
 
October is usually the worst month of the year for me - Every October I seem to have issues or have a relationship end or whatnot. I dread October usually. And this October is great so far! If you had told me six months ago that I would be happy, down over 50 pounds, possibly about to start seeing a new guy who actually lives in this state, and doing decent in school all in OCTOBER - I never would have believed you! I feel like I should pinch myself to make sure this isn't just a dream.
 
Can I just reiterate that I love my VSG? I know it's not all thanks to my sleeve, but dang, it sure has helped.

Can not believe how much time went by since my surgery!!! I am grateful of the results that I have enjoyed so far. Like most slow losers, I wish I had lost more! But things are moving along. I am making changes that will not only help me lose the weight now, but keep if off in the long run.
 
I just went through a super stall, BUT to my surprise I got the most comments and compliments during that period!! Go figure lol!! My upper body slimmed down significantly, but my lower body is stubborn and will not be as flexible:( I did lose, but not as drastically as my top did. I hope that will be the next site of improvement or I am going to look very disproportionate:(
 
 
NSV:
I wore heels for the first time in YEARS today! And I felt ( do I dare say ) so SEXY lol!!! I am of good spirit and faith. I am going to win this fight.

I have two sons and
one daughter. My boys are the oldest, Eric is 31, Adam is 26, and Rachael is 23. They are all adults and I am proud of all of them. My daughter was one of the first people I told as we have a close relationship. My boys were both in the Army and are very physically fit and active. I had chosen not to tell them of my surgery earlier as I feared their reaction and the look of disappointment from them. But I finally came out to them this week. Adam lives in Anchorage, Alaska and I had to tell him over the phone, which was not the best situation. He was confused at first, then started with the questions, "Why?" "Can't you just go on another diet?" "What if something happens?" . So I tried to explain the physiology to him and eventually just tried to describe how my heath could be improved over the long term with this procedure. After we hung up he texted me that he is just worried about the possibilities of something going wrong and he's not ready to lose his momma, but he understands that I need to improve my health and he supports me 100%. It made me cry.
Then the next night I went to dinner with my oldest son and his wife and my grandsons. I had already told his wife the week before (and I think she let the cat out of the bag) and while sitting in the living room before dinner (just he and I) I said I needed to come clean about my surgery that was coming up on Monday. At first he said he thought my surgery was later in the month but then he said, "ok?" . I said I will be having more than a hiatal hernia repair, actually the surgeon will be removing a large portion of my stomach. He just looked at me and said "ok". I said this is to help me not only lose weight but to maintain it over the long term. He said, "ok, is it anything I should be worried about?" I said, not anymore than any other surgery. He said, "ok". THAT WAS IT.
 
I don't know if I'm relieved at his reaction or saddened that he apparently doesn't care. I'm trying to stay positive and think that probably his wife told him already and he had gotten over the shock before talking to me. She is a nurse also and Eric is so VERY not medically inclined. I think its ok he doesn't know, or care to know, all the possible complications.
 
Now I feel like I've told everyone that matters and I can go into surgery in peace.

So here I am… I’m finally getting around to starting my blog on here after lurking for a few weeks… commenting on a few posts and making a few new friends (virtual ones if nothing else). We all have a story right? How’d we get here? I got here courtesy of an angry failed (I guess you could call it the black sheep of the family) thyroid and a b!tchy thin doctor who told me I just needed to eat less and walk more as I packed on weight (my underactive thyroid was discovered YEARS later by another doctor when I’d finally given up – she was reviewing the old lab results). It’s been almost 7 years since it started failing and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still bitter… I’ve gained somewhere between 80 and 100 pounds since then. I’ve lost as much as 50 of it and gained back nearly all that I’ve lost.
 
About two years ago my doctor told me to have surgery (she had Lap Band in Mexico before it was approved in the US) and I joined Weight Watchers instead… I was convinced I could beat my thyroid if I just worked hard enough… I worked hard for my less than a pound a week losses only to find that when I stopped WW I gained it all back! Last year the same doc told me that at 29 years old, I was prediabetic , prehyperlipidemia, and that pain I was having was degenerative joint disease because of my weight and I had to lose weight immediately… Less than 10 years before that I was in the military! Needless to say I dieted a ton after that and regained everything immediately when I stopped…
This past winter I was doing a couch to 5K program (not losing weight though LOL) when I contracted pneumonia which was not a fun mix with my asthma. After the pneumonia was gone my asthma became severe and the steroids to keep me alive caused even more weight gain. As my medicine cabinet became more and more full between the asthma and other conditions I realized I can’t keep going like this and my doc was right two years ago – If I’m going to get to and maintain a healthy weight I need to have surgery and if I’m going to see my daughters become adults, I need to get healthy…. So that said, here I am.
 
I’ve done everything and now I’m waiting on the insurance company and a date. I’m here for support and to be someone’s support. In my life I’m strong for everyone and I always have been and the downfall of that is that for the first time I need people being strong with me and for me and I don’t have that.