Delena2/11

Juny, I'm preop too. I feel so out of control right now as I wait, and wait, and wait.... I could have totally eaten that batch of brownies! I think it is stress and worry that makes me do this. I'm sure it is very normal. I have not started my preop diet yet. Have you? Dee:)

I agree with Scaredy Cat! I would think that you would not have posted if you did not want help sorting this all out. Don't let fear rule your decisions. Please talk with us and see if you feel better. I am not saying you should have the surgery. I'm just hoping that you can be happy with your decision for the long haul. Best of luck to you Emily!

Way to go Joy! I look forward to the day that I can post a similar post.

Emily, This is not something that anyone else can decide for you. It is a huge step and maybe you don't need to have this surgery. I hope that you have thought about this very carefully and you are not reacting out of fear because your surgery is near. Please don't throw this opportunity away unless you are very sure that you can do this by yourself. After all, if you could have done it alone wouldn't you have done so by now? Best of luck to you! I know you will do what is right for you!

Elisa, First how exciting that you have a new relationship. You have made some very positive and difficult decisions that will allow you to have a healthier life. I think that if you are serious about this guy you need to tell him the truth. He needs to understand the reasons that you eat so differently. If he does understand the ins and outs of the surgery he will not be pressuring you to eat more. He will be there to support and celebrate your victories. Give him a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised!

I can't wait to post something like that! Good for you.

Mynewlife, I too am no psychologist but I do have experience with depression and I hear so much of myself in your post. Obesity and depression are common housemates. I would go find a professional to talk to. A bit about me, years ago I failed the psych eval for wls and started treatment for depression. I learned I had to fix the inside first. I recently passed the eval and hope to be sleeved in December. Please take some time for yourself. You do not need to feel this way. There is help. There is hope too. If you would like to talk Plz message me. This might not be the authentic you your hubby is living with now. When i have depressive episodes i can be hell on wheels! Moody and bitchy beyond belief! When it happens i tell my hubby that i am evil and he understands now! Still loves me anyway:). Best of luck!

Great topic! I do worry more about the skin at this point. I don't like the thought of deflated breasts either. I was always rather happy with the girls! I've seen some videos on You Tube and the skin is most bothersome. If it was just me and I could wear some spanks and not care about sex all of that it might not be so bad. But I like sex and I don't want to trade in one body I'm not happy with for another I'm only happy with in clothes. Oh well. I would still rather live a productive and happy long life! I can have more surgery if it really bothers me. My hubby is awesome. He has NEVER ever pressured me or made me feel bad about my weight. He is very easy for me to be with that way. Part of me very much looks forward to rocking the sleeve with him (wink wink). But I admit another part of me is scared of his reaction to me. I imagine he will be accepting of my new body but he, too, mentioned that he was not excited about extra skin. This journey is not only life changing for us but for our loved ones. Luckily it seems like we have some pretty good husbands!

Vanessa, You are not a failure! This is real life and it does not always go as planned. I'm sure that everyone will fall off the wagon at some time. You have done the best thing possible and that is realize the problem and take steps to correct it. I would just go back to the basics. Take time for you and get back to the gym if possible. Best of luck! I'm sure you will be back in the saddle soon!

It is so sad that we have gotten to the point where we have to even contemplate putting our lives at risk in order to have this amazing tool. I have read your post as well as Iggy's and a few others that had problems. It scares me but I am at that point where I don't think I can successfully do it myself. Actually I know I can't. So surgery is for me. When you say you wouldn't have this surgery again I wanted to ask you how you think your life would be now? Your down 117 lbs! Amazing. Do you think you would be happy heavy again? Truly? I certainly don't want to die from this surgery but I feel like I am slowly killing myself right now. Just curious as to your feelings about this from your experiences. Not making light of all you have gone through either of course. If must be very conflicting for you to have had such success at such a high price. If a close friend or family member asked you to support their decission to have the surg would you do so? Thank you for sharing!

I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time. Please remember we are here if you need support. Best wishes and lots of prayers to you!

HA! Worry not Fyre Storm. You will see that upon waking from anesthesia all the health care personnel around you will be in a candy induced coma. While you were sleeping they took your excised stomach and went trick or treating up and down the hospital halls dressed as zombies. Happy Sleeving! My little boy was born on Leap Year Day and I have a lot of fun with it. I think it is great that you can have some fun with this too.

Hmm. What an interesting topic! I think that you should ask him when you go out (if you do). "So, what made you ask me out after you have known me all this time..." Maybe leave the weight out of it and see what he says. I think that there have been great points above about this topic. I also have not dated men that are morbidly obese. I know it is a double standard and I don't know maybe if I really liked the person I would have gone out with him. Married now and my hubby has a bit of a belly but great arms and butt;). TMI I know. Gotta have some muscle though, you know? I don't think you should hold this against him. Go out and see what happens if you have a mind to. Like it was brought up before, maybe you are smiling more. Maybe you are putting yourself out there now in a way you were not before. Best of luck and go rock that sleeve;). Dee

Wow! What a great accomplishment. I really enjoyed reading your post and felt as if I was seeing you trying on those uniforms! Thanks for the smile. I look forward to my pants falling off too! lmao

Today was a good day. I can't believe that I finally have an answer from the insurance but this whole think is confusing. I have an appt to see the psych next Friday. I am afraid that I won't pass somehow. I tried this years ago and was diagnosed with depression at the eval. What will I be diagnosed with this time? Actually, that really was a good thing for me. I have worked out a lot of things during the last few years with my social worker. I am not ashamed to have depression. It is manageable and now that I know I have it at least I can understand some of my issues better. It is refreshing to know there is a reason I want to crawl under the covers and ignore the world sometimes. I can and do take steps to redirect myself when that happens. I think that the sleeve will be a good thing for my depression because I certainly cannot keep yo yoing. Never being successful with perminant wt loss. That can't be good either. Today I told my mom about the surgery plan too. She was very supportive. I was so surprised! I was afraid that she would talk me out of it (or try). My sister was supportive too. Can't wait to get this thing moving.

Well I did pass my eval! Yay me. On the 23 of October I will go to my group consult and I hope that I learn a lot more about my path toward VSG. I wish I didn't have to go to Detroit but at least the hospital was easy to get to and seemed nice once I did get there. Should be fine. Today I talked a lot to my social worker about the surgery. She seems excited for me. We talked about how I was a bit worried about how this huge change will affect my relationships. I worry about my relationship with my husband. He and I worked well for so long because he made no demands of me. He didn't seem to care if I was heavy. He didn't judge or try to police my food. I appreciate all of that. Unfortunately I will not always be able to accept this kind of relationship. I want some depth. I want to be able to talk about things and have real interactions. I just don't see it happening. We are roomies that happen to have fair sex now and then. And, we have two wonderful kids. But, that worry is for another day. Now I work on me. Getting surgery is first on the list and I hope that everything else will fall into place. I can't wait to go dancing! Win some more karaoke contests! And, most of all get my ass on a horse!

Here are me two cents... I have tried everything to lose wt and my family and friends have seen my modest successes and then dismal failures time and time again (wt loss, bigger wt gain...). Perhaps you fear the same thing that I do. Another failure that my loved ones get to witness. I think it is natural to not want to put this out there. It is not like there is much left to try after this step. WLS is it! That is the last rung on the latter. I feel like I cannot afford to fail this time. I cannot fail because the next step on the latter is off of the roof! I don't want to fall off but at the same time I am not confident enough in my ability to be successful even with this tool. I am hopeful but fearful. Scared but excited... I felt so conflicted about telling but I did tell. Thankfully I found myself surprisingly supported. I know I will need support and I know that I cannot do this by myself. Plus, As I have been reading all of these posts on "to tell or not to tell" I started thinking that the one way we can de-stigmatize WLS is to talk about it. I wonder if I would have done this earlier if I would have learned about it earlier. The more straight forward we are about wls the better people will understand it. And really, who are we fooling by not telling? It will come out as you start losing wt. Or, by witnessing the change in your eating habits. For a period of time an alcoholic can hide their disease but we literally carry our disease around with us all of the time. It is not like our loved ones didn't realize we needed to do something about our wt, right? My black outfits do not slim me down that much! I cannot answer your question, to tell or not to tell, but I believe as I go further down my own pre-op path that we can help others in our situation by sharing our stories. We can hopefully teach others that don't have wt issues that we are NOT lazy. It is not as easy as "just not eating crap all the time." We have a disease and we are doing all we know how to do to treat it. Sure, I could go it on my own again. Take off 20lbs and put on another 30lbs. As I get older I realize that I am wasting my life with this pattern. I have given the first 40 years of my life to this disease and I have failed treating it myself. I'm not giving it another 40 years. Best of luck as you find the path best for you! Dee

First of all, please listen to all of these people that have taken time to reach out to you. We have all been there. We all understand how it would feel to have this opportunity ripped away from us. I understand more than you know. We have all hit that wall or we would not even entertain the idea of this surgery! I hear you that you are in debt already but you can take steps to make things happen. Look into a self pay surgeon. See if you cannot make payments to them. Or, there is always tax time, right? Good investment for that tax refund! Seriously, where there is a will there is a way! I also think that you sound like you are in a dark place emotionally. If you can talk to a professional maybe it would help. I have depression and believe me, I have been in that bleak place where nothing seems to be positive. I'm sorry for writing a book here! But we have a lot in common. In 2009 I was attempting to get the band. (Boy am I glad now that didn't work out!) I did not know about the sleeve at the time. I went to my Psych eval and I FAILED!!! The Psychologist diagnosed me with depression. My dream was dashed just like yours was. I felt like I hit the wall but in actuality it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I got treatment and learned a lot about myself. I like to think that this knowledge will help me be successful post op. I have been approved by my insurance after being denied! If this is your path you will find it. Perhaps you have other things you need to address prior to starting on this journey? Only you can answer that question. Best of luck to you! I you need to talk please know that I am here.

Aww. That is sweet and sad. My son is four and I think he is just realizing I am heavy. I also worry and hate to think of him being embarrassed by me. I look forward to being a healthier role model in the future!

Wow. As a health care professional I cringe when I hear this sort of thing. I don't think I would approach administration about this at this time. It is more appropriate to bring this to the attention of the nurses in question. You do not necessarily tell them that you have had the surgery. That is up to you. You could say that as a person that has battled with weight you found their conversation upsetting. That patient is loved by someone and the dehumanizing way that the nurses discussed her history should be addressed. I think it is a sign of good character and it takes a lot of bravery to take this on personally rather than going to administration. Maybe you can make an impact in their lives. I like to think that these nurses did not start in their profession with this attitude. I would hope that they became nurses because they wanted to help people. Maybe you can bring that back to them and educate them about some aspects of wls. If this sort of behavior did not stop I would then go up the chain of command. Good luck! That is a tough one for sure!

Hi All I'm so excited. I passed me psych eval and got word from my insurance today. I am approved for surgery! Hooray! My next step is a group consult on the 23rd. It feels more real now. I hope to be able to have surgery in December. I will have about three weeks off of work. I can't wait to get started on my new life. I do have a few worries, as all of you likely did, or do. 1. Will I miss food? I have read that it often becomes a chore to eat. That seems so strange to me preop. Food has a hold on me. Sometimes I feel like I am so impulsive. I can't control myself. I'm not even necessarily enjoying eating. It is just what I do. I will need to totally change my way of life and learn more appropriate ways to spend my time. 2. How does dropping to so little calories not slow down your metabolism? It is well documented that your body goes into "starvation mod" when you do not eat. Is it because we eat so often? The body does not worry about when the next meal will come? 3. How to say this delicately.... I had my gallbladder out. Now if I eat a lot of fat in a meal I need to be near a bathroom! Sorry but it is true. Will this get worse? I am sure that fatty food is a no no but I don't want to have dumping like symptoms.... So tired I can't think of anything else by I know I will! Thanks all. Night! Dee

I'm so glad that you are having a good outcome from your surgery. I am preop and also wish I would have started the whole process earlier, like maybe 18 lol. Enjoy your new life! Dee

I'm sorry that you had to go through this rough patch. I look back at my life and see now that those troubled times came before some of my greatest gifts. There is no shame getting help if you are depressed. I have depression and have been treated for about three years. There are things that can help and you are worth it! I agree with the above posters. Keep your chin up. You will meet someone that you click with. Someone that has the same goals and healthy lifestyle. Sometimes the hardest endings lead to the most amazing beginnings! Best of luck to you! Dee

There is so much back and forth about this sleeve stretching thing. I hope I can just stick to my docs orders and not take the risk.

Hi Tink, You are singing my song! I have been overweight as long as I can remember. In grades school I was teased for being heaver than the other kids. I was chunky but looking back I was not really fat then. I took a beating verbally from the other kids and my self esteem plummeted. To compensate for my feelings of loneliness and inadequacy I turned to food. It has been there ever since! I have tried to do wls about 3 years ago I guess. I failed the Psych eval and was diagnosed with depression. If you think you are untreated and seriously depressed you do need to deal with this now. I thought that the doctor evaluating me was nuts! no one that ever met me would EVER know I had depression. I am the first to smile at you. I generally appear happy and seem to enjoy socializing and talking with people. But, that is the surface. In reality I did not get to know anyone very deeply. I just let people talk and I listened. Generally I didn't have to say a thing! It worked well for me at work but outside of work I was existing with ice cream, cookies and fast food as friends. I let my friends lose contact with me. I didn't go out. I stopped caring about my house and could not seem to get the energy to do anything I needed to do. I was in trouble. Because of my failed Psych eval I went to see a social worker thinking I could get this dx reversed. Nope, she agreed and over time I see that this failed eval was a blessing. In the perfect world I would have been under tx for depression and lost the weight myself. I wish! I have a long way to go. Your post was timely, Tink. I have my Psych eval tomorrow for the sleeve. I am scared out of my mind I will not pass again. I cannot take yo yoing. It does not help my depression to NEVER succeed at long term weight loss! I need this tool to help me manage both my health and my depression. I know it is not a magic bullet. I think of it as tool that will help me stay on course. I have been under treatment for my depression about three years now I guess. I have learned a lot about myself during this time and I am trying to be positive and I am very excited about the possibility of having this surgery. I really hope my insurance will approve me this time but if it does not I will do it myself. Best of luck to you, Tink. Please let me know how things go for you. Dee