Cinders

So I went to a seminar back in May that first introduced me to wls. Of all the things I heard the biggest challenge I felt was going to be the pop thing. You know...the part where you can't really have it anymore. At the time my habit was 4-8 cans a day which I've had for the past 15-20 years (I'm 30). I knew if I couldn't kick that habit I wouldn't ever be able to have the surgery. I mean I knew this was just one of many new rules we have to live by but if I couldn't do this then none of the other stuff mattered. The day of the seminar was the last day for 7 months. Over Thanksgiving I've tried pop again half scared, half curious about my reaction to it since I was so addicted to the stuff. The circumstance came about when there wasn't any water to be had at the party. Well they had water, but it was horrible tasting water and I couldn't drink it. I had half a can of pop. I've since also had a couple tastes of moscato di asti and couple more tastes of pop when there's been no alternative. The result is unexpectedly happy. I don't really like too much of it. The bubbles are too much and it burns going down and then I get all burpy. I can't help but laugh about it since I really thought I'd have something like an alcoholics reaction to their favorite drink, one taste and that would be the end of sobriety for a while. I can't believe I really prefer water but I do. The reverse osmosis machine at our house is wonderfully helpful since it gets a lot of the funny tastes out of our well water. It's been well worth the price.
 
i'm preop but I do believe this is an nsv!

Today I had kind of a large supper -- by recent standards -- of salad and fish. I've been reading about salad being disagreeable after WLS, so I wanted to eat it while I still could.
 
Seemed so slow while I've been waiting for my surgery; now, seems it's approaching quickly. Today is Thurs. I'll start liquids Sunday; fly to Tijuana Tuesday; have the surgery Weds.
 
A week from now, I'll have my sleeve. Excited. Scared.
 
We bought a lawn mower so I've been mowing for exercise. It's funny, I feel so tired just walking around; but when I'm doing something, I don't feel as fatigued.

Ok, chances are I'm overreacting, and if so...ok.
 
It's Monday, I'm in the office, and no fewer than 6 people since 8:00 a.m. (it's 12:30 now) have walked down the hall and each one has made a point to either say "hi" or stop and talk to the girl across the hall. Now, mind you, I'm not a wall flower....I'd say I'm pretty outgoing in this office, and I have worked here 13 years. I'm the "go to" when people need things. She's quiet, reserved and an engineer who isn't all that outgoing. The other difference between us is I've been overweight my entire life, so those who have worked with me have only known me as overweight (and in my opinion have a bias against that and feel uncomfortable.....so sorry), I'm 5'7, red hair, fair complexion and 254 lbs. She is 5'6, blonde hair, fair complexion and probably 130.
 
So the question is, why do they make the effort to say hi to her, and can't be bothered to turn and say hi to me as well? Why is it I only exist and am noticable when it comes to what they need and when they need it?
 
Well.....times, they are a changin.....and there's a reconin' coming! After I'm sleeved, and the weight starts falling off.....you can BET I won't be interested in their attention. I've known all my life who my "real" friends are and who those are that are only there for the fair weather. I won't suffer fake people. Not worthy of my time or trouble.
 
It's amazing to me how easily it is for others to be so rude and judgmental against those overweight. I've even noticed that it's actually socially acceptable for talking heads and comedians to poke fun at overweight politicians! How DARE they? Isn't it said that you can't judge a man (or woman) until you've walked a mile in their shoes? Sometimes, I just wish the world would grow up and try to consider those around them and pre-think they're actions.
 
Kicking the soapbox back into the corner.