lauriehicks

It has been a while since I have been on here regularly and written on here. I haven't even updated my weight for a few weeks. In the past 3 weeks I have gone from 276.8 to 262.6. So I am still losing well, and steadily. I'm down a total of 62.4 pounds now! Holy moly, I can barely believe it.
 
Even though I know I still have a lot to lose left, I feel like an entirely new person. My life has kind of done a 180. I have energy, I have confidence, I feel like I look good when I wear my clothes. It's incredible. I cannot even list all the ways this surgery has changed my life. I have struggled with depression for the entirety of my adult life, and a lot of my late teens/early adulthood, so the level of difference is like night and day. I have had good times before, yes, but I feel like I've come so far in being where and who I want to be. I still have hard times, I still am a horrible procrastinator, but I feel like whatever the day throws at me, I am more ready for than I have ever been.
 
And....I think I have a boyfriend. He hasn't actually called me his girlfriend, but we did have a casual conversation the other day in which we asked if the other was seeing anyone else, and neither of us are, so I guess that makes us exclusive? He invited me to a get together with his coworkers next weekend, so we will see what he introduces me as, or maybe between now and then we'll chat about it. He's really an awesome guy, and we click really well together. Last night we went to a corn maze and walked around for about two hours - something I probably never would have done pre-surgery. He has said that I motivate him to eat better when he's out eating and whatnot. I thought that was really neat. He doesn't have a lot to lose, maybe 40 pounds or so, but it would be awesome to have him get in shape and feel better too. So I spent the night at his place and the whole day and night were just fabulous. I can add one NSV to my list about having more fun during sex =) Skinnier sex is much more fun.
 
Sometimes I feel like I need someone to pinch me, like is this really real? Is this my life now? How did I get to such a happy place so quickly? Not that I was horribly depressed before, but I certainly was not happy. I cannot say enough how thankful I am for this surgery. I will have to remember to let my surgeon know Thursday at my 3 month appointment that he has been such an instrument for change in my life. I'm sure he gets it a lot as people lose, but it would be nice to let him know that I feel so appreciative for the gift he has given me (Even though I paid for it =p).
 
Anyway, I just wanted to update because I hadn't in a while, and I haven't really kept up on my food logging or searching posts here. I keep trying to get myself back into the habit of it, but it hasn't worked. It will continually be something that I try to work on until I can finally make it a habit. I haven't been eating poorly though, and my weight loss has been great, so I'm not concerned or anything.
 
That being said, I'm procrastinating finishing getting ready for work, so I have to head off. I hope everyone is doing well!
 
Life is good. =D

My mother left at 7am this morning. My hubby left for work at 8am. So here I am all by myself. Well, thank goodness I'm feeling better. Slept about 6 hours straight without having to get up and take pain pills (tylenol). So at noon, after I made my own lunch, pureed chicken salad, I found my car keys and went to the store! Woot Woot! I can still drive! LOL. Felt good to have my freedom back. Unfortunately was only at store about 10-15 min and had to leave-bowels were talking to me-and they said "Let's go!". I have stopped the stool softeners but I have had really loose stools the last 2 days. Better than no stools-which I did for 6 days. I'm wearing my Danskin 8 inch binder with a washcloth folded over the area on my left that is still bothering me, it seems to be working. Looking forward to seeing my surgeon Friday-got some questions!

Let me start with this; no matter how much knowledge you accumulate before this surgery, you can’t be fully prepared as to what will happen after surgery. I went through and read so many posting of people struggling with food, cheating, wondering why they hadn’t lost weight. I couldn't understand how someone could go through this surgery and do that to themselves. I knew I would NEVER jeopardize my health or my new little sleeve after surgery by cheating or going off the Dr.’s plan...
 
Surgery went great, I lived through it and recovered quickly with the most pain being the first few hours after getting out. Within days I was able to take normal drinks of liquids and stayed on a liquid diet with no hunger until Monday morning (4 days out).
 
Tuesday I ended up eating five saltines and boy did I beat myself up for it. I called my Dr. and begged for them to change my one week appointment to Wednesday instead of Friday because I physically felt like I could NOT wait all week to start full fluids and protein shakes. Appointment got changed. Wednesday morning I went and saw the PA and she said I was OK-ed for full liquids and soft foods. I was 16.8 lbs down at the first week visit. So that day I had two eggs and several bites of my husband’s country fried steak for breakfast. Two hours later I felt famished and had some more of his country fried steak. I continued eating eggs with cheese, slivers of crockpot roast, pan fried chicken w skin, lunch meat, cheese, turkey jerky bites, salami w cream cheese rolled with a pepperchini topped with green olives ( I ate around 25 of these over a five hour period, felt like I couldn’t stop eating them). My sleeve tolerated it with no problems. I realized the insane cravings for copious amounts of food came from me being on my period. Btw, weighed Monday morning and I GAINED 5lbs, not surprised in the least.
 
Sunday Day 10 comes and it was a HUGE turning point. Went to my Grandpa's to celebrate a family birthday and He made tri tip, a whole ham, all the sides. So I put a slice of ham and tri tip w green beans on my plate. I start with the ham and green beans, I get an ounce of ham down and get a terrible fullness and gas in my stomach. Strange, I never had that before. I literally could not eat anymore and I felt sick. So I go home and my husband’s friends are over and they make chicken and mushrooms for a late dinner. I eat a small piece of slightly greasy chicken and 10 mins after I am in the bathroom puking.
 
FINALLY!!!! I feel like my sleeve is working. I get totally full off 1-2oz instead of the 4-6oz I was consuming. I am shocked. The hunger is minimal and comes up around the 3 to 4 hrs after last meal. Insane! The last few days it’s been hard to get to 400 calories, are you kidding me?? I didn’t think it was possible judging from the four day binge I went on. I also switched back to softer food. I know I was justifying food as soft that was not in the soft category. Now I'm eating tuna salmon, baby shrimp and eggs. I lost 2 1/2 of the lbs I gained.
 
I honestly do not know why there was such a delay in me feeling the effects of the sleeve. It took a long time for me to be able to pass gas, almost 6 days because my bowls were having problems "waking up" after surgery. Maybe my stomach did too? This is my husband's theory and it is the only one that makes sense as to how I was fitting so much food in and never feeling satisfied until Day 10.
 
I did NOT plan on sharing this with anyone. It is embarrassing and shameful. I jeopardized my health because I didn’t get control over my hunger. But I decided to share because maybe someone else out there is new out of surgery with a ravenous appetite and might possibly be able to relate or learn from my mistakes. More importantly I would hate for anyone to feel as hopeless as I did, thinking that this surgery was a total mistake. During those few days I would not have trusted anyone had they told me things would get better and eventually my hunger would subside -- but it DID! Every person's body is so unique and will be different through this process. For some of us it takes longer to reap the benefits of this surgery. And trying to distinguish between real hunger and head hunger is no joke, I think this will take years for me to deal with. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. So keep jugging along...
I think can! I think I can!

So I made it!! Surgery was 9/21, wow there were some moments that I wasn't really sure I had made the right choice. The nausea, the pain and the taste all fun and adventurous! But now at 1 week and 2 days out, i am almost up to 64 oz of water a day, walking just over 1/2 mile a day and at 2 8 oz protien shakes, I am working it!! Things still taste funny, and I am learning to just deal. But oh by the way the weight loss? Yep super psyched about 15 lbs in 1 week. So to all preoppers, just hang in there it's all going to be worth it!!

I have been waiting awhile you would think I wouldn't be nervous. My journey starts tomorrow. I hope it goes well!!

So had my sleeve done on 9/19/12 and the first day post surgery getting out of the recovery room was very hard, lots of pain on my neck, my mouth was very dry and my throat was hurting from the tube that was inserted, plus i think since i had a hiatal hernia and they did some work via my esophocus it felt worse :-(
 
Overall though i have to say it was all worth it, now just have to get used the sipping and drinking lots of water all the day to avoid getting dehydrated as per Dr. Nish.
 
 
8/31/12 i weight in at 239 at Dr. Nish's office
when i went in for surgery on Wed. 9/19/12 i was 228 lbs.
this morning 9/23/12 i was 223 lbs.
 
I'm very excited to go have gone through this, wished it would have been approved 10 yrs. prior. Very thankful with God family and friends, that everything went well.

I just realized that I have lost 49lbs altogether, and that I have 99 to go to reach my goal! That's less than 100lbs! Yay for me! Good thing I can't go eat to celebrate that...because I want to party and celebrate. I'll just have to enjoy that I'm getting better and that the sun is shining, and soon I'll be back outside walkin in it!...maybe even jogging a little!
 
I picked 160 as a midpoint of where I'd really like to be and where I was once before. At 189, the last time I had lost 63lbs....I was happy...then I gained it and more back. I was 165 or so when I got home from the Army, years ago, and that was ok...but when I was my thinnest, and felt the healthiest...I was 145-150. I had starved myself down to 138 one time, when I was going in the Marines...but honestly, I was sick as a dog and if I ate anything, I could not maintain that weight. I remember thinking I wanted to eat a houseplant that was in one of the offices I was in at that time, because I could not maintain that horribly small weight and eat. So, anyway, about 160 would be sweet.

So, three days of 2 protein shakes, and 4 oz of protein & 1/2 c veggies equals = leg cramps from HELL! Woke me up in the middle of the night with screaming pain! Dear God!
But once that passed I fell back to sleep, woke up and weighed myself. 12 pounds down! Holy Cow! At this rate (4lbs/day) I should lose 40 lbs by surgery day! But of course then I won't qualify with my BMI. Hopefully they don't weigh me, BUT BE SURE I WILL WEIGH MYSELF !
I then went to the gym for the first time since starting this diet and did pretty well, considering my fatigue of the last 2 days.
I also called the surgeons' office to ask about the potassium levels in their vitamins and shakes, it only adds up to about 8% of the daily requirement. The nurse there said it should be enough, but I should drink more and I could try a product called "Cramp EEZ". I went to Target and they did not carry it, but as I shopped I checked out the water section I noticed some "vitamin" waters contained potassium and some did not. So I picked up a couple "skinny water" bottles that contain 100mg of potassium each-just to try them out. This is so much a learning process.

July 30th....the day of my new me......
 
Well allow me to share a little insight.....
 
 
Well I'v done it....I have walk the desert (as my mason friends would say)....Let me tell you it was a journey that no matter how I prepared...I was not prepared for. I stayed away from the boards purposely, because I did not want to frighten or speak negatively on the surgery. It was very difficult initially because of the medical problems I had to endure (one of which, is being unable to take pain medication). Had I gotten online initially I would have screamed the horrors of this God Forsaken surgery and who....with any intelligence at all would succumb to this beast called the SLEEVE!!!!
 
But now 45 days away from the faithful day called "surgery" I am happy, I am smiling, I am learning, and creating new ways for myself....I have not been so happy....yes I have stalled, and yes I have slimed, yes I have had the lump in my chest that seems to want to explode...I have passed the rabbit pellets, and I have had many a day of laugher on how my body has responded to what is happening to it.....BUT...
 
I am so glad to have made this decision. Each day is a step into sunshine, sometimes with a few clouds....but even those clouds are beautiful now...and I will peer into them and make shapes out of those puffy marshmellows, instead of endulging in the doldrumsss......The feeling of achieving a goal and starting a new one is so amazing to me at this age....(okay not that I'm old) but sometimes we forget that the new wonders surrounding us on a daily basis. I have slipped into some old jeans (yep some sergio's that is no longer any where near style but)....WHAT A THRILL....
 
Who would have thought....the diva in me would escape again.....im loving it ...my children are loving it ....and my love is totally estactic....I have always smiled brightly ...but right now my smile can equate to a solar flare....just 45 pounds....what the hell is gonna happen when I hit 60, never mind whats gonna happen when i finally slip under 200.....watch out now......world get ready.....Im here to take over....
 
My growth has been in the worst times....when those scars would not heal....when the thought of one more bite of mash potatoes or apple sauce would turn me into a ingnorant maniac....but all of the sudden I remember the feeling of going through the hell called basic training....or the hell called breast cancer .....shoot even the hell of raising two teenagers who knew everything in the world and thought I belonged in a (well never mind I divest)...Each and everyone of those journeys has brought more pride and and feeling of empowerment to my journey.....well guess what ....I'M BACKCKKK....and this new road or shall I say adventure... will will bring me out of it like a shine piece of steel put through the fire and well tested....I say...bring life on...I am so readyyyyyy!!!!

Feeling a little sore and will catch up with you guys later.