pink grace

hi, im 3 weeks out and have been on pureed for just over a week and so far, not being sick and able to eat everything ive tried so far.
Yesterday hubby did me a lasagne, half of a one person ready made one, it didnt blitz as smooth as i would have liked, but i gave it a go, i was only able to eat half of it and was really full.
Today i get weighed and have put 2 lb on, up to today i have been loosing half to one pound per day, i have not been going for no 2 every day, and do feel a bit bloated.
Not sure if its a stall, or just lack of no 2s, not worrying but was a bit dissapointing to put on at this early stage.
I am finding that i need to eat every 2 hours after lunch to stop the light headed wooziness happening, my dietician said to have 3 normal meals and not to snack in between, but i feel the need, i have had a bag of skips for 76 cals, but tried a banana yesterday, had half and chewed it well, and felt better for it, so am going to try fruit in between as we are not supposed to have crisps etc as they go down easy but are high in fat and cals compared to fruit, need to get good habits now for the rest of my life.
God has really blessed me with a good result and am believing that this will be for my good to have a smaller healthier body, and be able to keep it that way.
Im not hungry, but do feel the need to eat, its a kinda empty feeling, and needing to top up energy more than anything, its 11 am and so far ive just had water since 9/20 am when i got up, im not hungry but have that empty feeling.
One concern i have is that once i begin to eat, the 2 to 3 hour of needing to eat cycle begins and am watching how many calories i consume by using my fitness pal.
I am not wanting sweet things at all, but am craving beef jerky, only 50 gram packet and 141 cals, and im not swallowinng it, this may sound gross, but i chew and chew and savour the taste, but then, take the little ball of mush out and give to my waiting dogs.
It is very expensive, but it is my treat, i usually have it in the evening and can take an hour or more, breaking the little squares in half and chew chew chewing, lol.
I started to take my meds in pill form yesterday, i am supposed to wait another week but just couldnt do a day longer with the horrible liquid meds.
I have been in so much pain without my normal amount of pain meds for the fibromyalgia pains.
Have a pain in my left calf going up under my knee, but no swelling or hotness, am thinking it is a pulled muscle, but will keep an eye on it.
Really happy i have my sleeve, i know my weight loss could be slower because of my lack of mobility, but was 27 pound down and i can feel and see the difference already.
My size 30 clothes are all really loose and i started at size 34 3 years ago, so am happy im heading downwards, i can get into size 24 26 pjs comfortably, and am thinking im about 26 28 in day clothes.
Ive orderedc size 16 18 pjs in the sale for my christmas presents from hubby, and am really hoping that i will be in them for christmas or just after.
My goal size is a small 16, and whatever weight i am for that size will be fine with me, i dont want to go below small 16 as hubby didnt like that last time i was size 14, he said i was too bony, lol, cant say ive been too boney fr many years.
Well, thats me for today, praising God for this new life, getting on with what i need to do and trusting God to do what He needs to do in me and through me, to God be the Glory, great thinks He has done, and is doing and will do, byeeeee, xxxx

hi, im 3 weeks out and have been on pureed for just over a week and so far, not being sick and able to eat everything ive tried so far.
Yesterday hubby did me a lasagne, half of a one person ready made one, it didnt blitz as smooth as i would have liked, but i gave it a go, i was only able to eat half of it and was really full.
Today i get weighed and have put 2 lb on, up to today i have been loosing half to one pound per day, i have not been going for no 2 every day, and do feel a bit bloated.
Not sure if its a stall, or just lack of no 2s, not worrying but was a bit dissapointing to put on at this early stage.
I am finding that i need to eat every 2 hours after lunch to stop the light headed wooziness happening, my dietician said to have 3 normal meals and not to snack in between, but i feel the need, i have had a bag of skips for 76 cals, but tried a banana yesterday, had half and chewed it well, and felt better for it, so am going to try fruit in between as we are not supposed to have crisps etc as they go down easy but are high in fat and cals compared to fruit, need to get good habits now for the rest of my life.
God has really blessed me with a good result and am believing that this will be for my good to have a smaller healthier body, and be able to keep it that way.
Im not hungry, but do feel the need to eat, its a kinda empty feeling, and needing to top up energy more than anything, its 11 am and so far ive just had water since 9/20 am when i got up, im not hungry but have that empty feeling.
One concern i have is that once i begin to eat, the 2 to 3 hour of needing to eat cycle begins and am watching how many calories i consume by using my fitness pal.
I am not wanting sweet things at all, but am craving beef jerky, only 50 gram packet and 141 cals, and im not swallowinng it, this may sound gross, but i chew and chew and savour the taste, but then, take the little ball of mush out and give to my waiting dogs.
It is very expensive, but it is my treat, i usually have it in the evening and can take an hour or more, breaking the little squares in half and chew chew chewing, lol.
I started to take my meds in pill form yesterday, i am supposed to wait another week but just couldnt do a day longer with the horrible liquid meds.
I have been in so much pain without my normal amount of pain meds for the fibromyalgia pains.
Have a pain in my left calf going up under my knee, but no swelling or hotness, am thinking it is a pulled muscle, but will keep an eye on it.
Really happy i have my sleeve, i know my weight loss could be slower because of my lack of mobility, but was 27 pound down and i can feel and see the difference already.
My size 30 clothes are all really loose and i started at size 34 3 years ago, so am happy im heading downwards, i can get into size 24 26 pjs comfortably, and am thinking im about 26 28 in day clothes.
Ive orderedc size 16 18 pjs in the sale for my christmas presents from hubby, and am really hoping that i will be in them for christmas or just after.
My goal size is a small 16, and whatever weight i am for that size will be fine with me, i dont want to go below small 16 as hubby didnt like that last time i was size 14, he said i was too bony, lol, cant say ive been too boney fr many years.
Well, thats me for today, praising God for this new life, getting on with what i need to do and trusting God to do what He needs to do in me and through me, to God be the Glory, great thinks He has done, and is doing and will do, byeeeee, xxxx

Have my sleeve, praise the Lord, I had my op on 30th may and am so happy.
I am 15lb down sjnce the start of the liver shrinking diet and am jn size 24-26 pjs.
Tender and tired but doing good, im on free fluids until i see my dietcian and nurse next tuesday, i did so well i was allowed home a day early, all answers to prayers, xx:)

Have my sleeve, praise the Lord, I had my op on 30th may and am so happy.
I am 15lb down sjnce the start of the liver shrinking diet and am jn size 24-26 pjs.
Tender and tired but doing good, im on free fluids until i see my dietcian and nurse next tuesday, i did so well i was allowed home a day early, all answers to prayers, xx:)

4 days to go and op cancelled again for the 3rd time, date now 30th may, really fed up, but trusting in God, dont understand but He is in control so who am i to grumble, in His time, praise the Lord,xx

feeling really happy and positive, just 3 days and then up early on thursday, to be there for 7.30 am, i am really believing that this will happen now, at last.
I have so many people praying for me, and i am trusting in the Lord, just dont want to receive a phone call from my team, i will be sat waiting and wont move till im sleeved, lol.
I have great support and all the people who have had their op is rooting for me, and will visit me too.
I met my surgeon for the first time last week and he is very friendly and answered my daft questions with much patience.
I am still wanting to eat a big sweet pudding, but not cheating, this means so much to me.
A lady came with a few items of clothing that she has shrunk out off for me, i was really touched, very nice maxi dress, cant wait to shrink into it this summer.
I have no idea what i can expect to loose, but will follow all the rules and do as much as i can to work with my new smaller stomach.
I am so ready for this new beginning, not scared or worried, just peaceful and excited.
Thats it for now, bedtime for me,xx

4 days to go and op cancelled again for the 3rd time, date now 30th may, really fed up, but trusting in God, dont understand but He is in control so who am i to grumble, in His time, praise the Lord,xx

4 days to go and op cancelled again for the 3rd time, date now 30th may, really fed up, but trusting in God, dont understand but He is in control so who am i to grumble, in His time, praise the Lord,xx

i started my liver shrinking diet today, really believe it is going to happen now, 13 days to go,x

I was really struggling with the dissapointment yet again, i just sat and poured my heart out to the lord, and said i give up, i cant do this anymore, you take it lord, and then just got on with living. 2 days ago i got a phone call to say that they knew how upset i was and they have juggled everything around and i have a new earlier date, sun19th may, first thing, i also found out that my old scales were saying i was a stone lighter that what i thought, normally they would cancell due to this, but they are overlooking the weight gain,God knew that and has worked this for my good, totally in awe of God and so gratefull, now i start my liver shrinking diet again on sat and cant wait to start, knowing that its going to happen this time, xx

I was really struggling with the dissapointment yet again, i just sat and poured my heart out to the lord, and said i give up, i cant do this anymore, you take it lord, and then just got on with living. 2 days ago i got a phone call to say that they knew how upset i was and they have juggled everything around and i have a new earlier date, sun19th may, first thing, i also found out that my old scales were saying i was a stone lighter that what i thought, normally they would cancell due to this, but they are overlooking the weight gain,God knew that and has worked this for my good, totally in awe of God and so gratefull, now i start my liver shrinking diet again on sat and cant wait to start, knowing that its going to happen this time, xx

I was really struggling with the dissapointment yet again, i just sat and poured my heart out to the lord, and said i give up, i cant do this anymore, you take it lord, and then just got on with living. 2 days ago i got a phone call to say that they knew how upset i was and they have juggled everything around and i have a new earlier date, sun19th may, first thing, i also found out that my old scales were saying i was a stone lighter that what i thought, normally they would cancell due to this, but they are overlooking the weight gain,God knew that and has worked this for my good, totally in awe of God and so gratefull, now i start my liver shrinking diet again on sat and cant wait to start, knowing that its going to happen this time, xx

I was really struggling with the dissapointment yet again, i just sat and poured my heart out to the lord, and said i give up, i cant do this anymore, you take it lord, and then just got on with living. 2 days ago i got a phone call to say that they knew how upset i was and they have juggled everything around and i have a new earlier date, sun19th may, first thing, i also found out that my old scales were saying i was a stone lighter that what i thought, normally they would cancell due to this, but they are overlooking the weight gain,God knew that and has worked this for my good, totally in awe of God and so gratefull, now i start my liver shrinking diet again on sat and cant wait to start, knowing that its going to happen this time, xx

hi friends, I have been on my liver shrinking diet since last tuesday, I started off trying the milk n yoghurt diet but after running to the loo at tea time decided to do the food diet like last time, I have lost 10lb in 5 days, I will get weighed tomorrow and it could be more, I had put 6lb on since christmas, so am pleased to have got that off and a good start to being near to my 19 stone goal for the day of my op.
I am finding the diet much easier this time and i think this is because i am having 2 eggs srambled on one slice of dry brown toast for the first meal of the day. I have a salad for lunch, 1 soya yoghurt and 1 apple at teatime and veg n lean meat cooked in my slow cooker for evening meal, i have being having 800 cals, 1 day i had 995, and lots of nas squash, tea with soya milk allowance.
I am having mixed emotions this time, last time i was excited all the time, but as it was cancelled and 7 months later back on, until i wake up and they tell me it is done, I won't let myself be too excited.
I know God is with me and my trust is in him, really hope i continue to be so positive and have no fear on the day, ive worked hard and waited 2 years 7 months for this, many friends are praying for me, thanks be to God, will write again before my op, x
I know this is what i want and God is with me, its the natural feelings i have to ignore, and i will be so happy when i wake up to find its done.
How i feel at the moment I would have it tomorrow.

hi friends, I have been on my liver shrinking diet since last tuesday, I started off trying the milk n yoghurt diet but after running to the loo at tea time decided to do the food diet like last time, I have lost 10lb in 5 days, I will get weighed tomorrow and it could be more, I had put 6lb on since christmas, so am pleased to have got that off and a good start to being near to my 19 stone goal for the day of my op.
I am finding the diet much easier this time and i think this is because i am having 2 eggs srambled on one slice of dry brown toast for the first meal of the day. I have a salad for lunch, 1 soya yoghurt and 1 apple at teatime and veg n lean meat cooked in my slow cooker for evening meal, i have being having 800 cals, 1 day i had 995, and lots of nas squash, tea with soya milk allowance.
I am having mixed emotions this time, last time i was excited all the time, but as it was cancelled and 7 months later back on, until i wake up and they tell me it is done, I won't let myself be too excited.
I know God is with me and my trust is in him, really hope i continue to be so positive and have no fear on the day, ive worked hard and waited 2 years 7 months for this, many friends are praying for me, thanks be to God, will write again before my op, x
I know this is what i want and God is with me, its the natural feelings i have to ignore, and i will be so happy when i wake up to find its done.
How i feel at the moment I would have it tomorrow.

just got my date today 2nd May, start liver shrinking on 18th april i have got slow cooker bought, liquidiser washed and in place, hand blender, and all the little pots i need.
After all this time i am so ready, i am still coughing but my doc said it is acid reflux and my lungs are fine so it wont stop my op, but i want it gone, i am on countdown, really excited, im a may sleever, xxxxx :wub:

well, finally get the go ahead for my op and there are no operations in april, so, i will have my sleeve in may, This is really testing my patience, but totally at peace, i will have my sleeve on the day God provides, my trust is in Him, xx

Had my appointment with the haematologist today, i finally have the results i need to have my operation, i have the factor in my blood but not the syndrome which is the thing that does the damage, so i can have my operation i just need to have blood thinning drugs after for a bit longer just as a precaution, just waiting to hear from my surgeon with a new date in april, so close now and actually believe i will have my op in april, who hoo, so ready for this, x

Had my appointment with the haematologist today, i finally have the results i need to have my operation, i have the factor in my blood but not the syndrome which is the thing that does the damage, so i can have my operation i just need to have blood thinning drugs after for a bit longer just as a precaution, just waiting to hear from my surgeon with a new date in april, so close now and actually believe i will have my op in april, who hoo, so ready for this, x

the coughing is much less, still whooping when i cough but managing to cope with it better too.
Need to get well now ready to have my sleeve, i have been told their is a space at the end of March, believing it will actually happen now, even though it can be a rollercoaster of feelings, trusting in God keeps me stable, planted firmly on my rock, Jesus.
Mom is happy in her nursing home, just need to empty her bungalow now, in Gods strength, i will be doing lots of directing, lol.
Thats it for now, xx

Really struggling today, this bronchitus of the airways is terrible, you dont coff, you splutter and gasp to breath and my throat is so soar too.
Anyway, health report over, i will recover and i need to because today out of the blue i received a letter from my heamatologist with my blood test reults.
Hubby has hotfooted it to the hospital to hand the letter in to my surgeon, who will be ringing me next week, well my nurse will, and as she doesn't work mondays it will be tuesday.
The blood tests show that i have got the lupus coagulant in my blood, and rather than my blood not clotting quick enough, this messes with the test and my blood actually is more likely to clot too much.
I can have my op but will need to be on anti clotting meds for 2-3 weeks after surgery.
I need to now see a rhumatologist about the lupus but have to be referred by my gp, passing the book yet again.
My 80 year old mom has decided to go into a nursing home after another infection where she ended up in hospital.
This is going to keep me busy mentally over the next month or so and a lot of physical work by my husband, our two sons and hubbies brother to empty moms bungalow.
It is very difficult when this has to be faced in life, it is something that she never wanted or me, but she needs 24 hour nursing care and i cant give it to her, so a nhs funded nursinf home is the only answer.
I think i am too ill and emotionally drained to be excited or otherwise about my op at the moment.
I had it in my head to have it in march, no later, but seeing as they only do 2 ops per week on one day a week am hoping they havnt scheduled march yet and i have time to get better and start my 2 week pre op diet before march begins, ready for the first date in march.
I went to my support group last night and they are a brilliant bunch of people who are cheering me on, and i know i am very blessed to have them, and i have a group of christian friends who are praying for me and supporting me too.
I think i will only believe it is happening when im actually wheeled into the operating room, lol.
Did i say, i had my hair cut 2 weeks ago, really short with a short fringe and spiky and everyone says it makes me look younger, and i love how easy it is to do.
I have had a pic taken of me with a white furry hat that looks like a dalmation head and everyone says i looked nice in it so for the first time in years i have my face on my facebook account. Not ready dor the body yet though.
I always said when my face was thinner that i would have my hair cut and have surprised myself by having it cut now. I have even begun to wear make up when i go out and its made me realise how much i had given up on myself, so i feel younger as well as looking younger.
I have told hubby to smarten himself up too and have bought him some younger looking clothes so we match more, dont want my man wearing bobbly flecees-jacket and jumper when he takes me out, he has spruced up well, i have a well dressed handsome silver fox on my arm now, just wait while i loose my weight, i think his little belly will have to go, lol.
I am determined to do all i should to loose the weight healthly and to maintain it, i dont want to be putting any weight lost back on, i know it can happen and am aware that the sleeve is a tool that only works when you use it correctly, and i will need to deal with comfort eating and weak will and eating chocolate or puddings to comfort me.
I have seen how the sucsessful people work at it, and i want to be one of those people, i want the new me and the new life it will bring.
I was talking to a lady last night who has had the bypass and she told me that what she eats now is the same that a thin woman would have always eaten instead of the huge portions she used to eat that made her 27 stone = 27 x 14 lbs.
That made sense, the smaller stomach helps us to eat what our bodies need instead of what our stomachs demand, cant wait to get rid of the greedy part of my stomach and work with my new smaller stomach.
I will update next week and really hope it will all be good news now, bye for now, keep up the good work, because You are worth it, xxxx

Havn't felt like updating my blog, limbo land can be a lonely desolate place, it is only my Trust in God and my hubby that is keeping me going.
I had a blood test for lupus 2 weeks on monday, don't know how long they will take.
Hoping they will be back on monday so the surgeon can look at them on tues.
Went to my local w l s support group last night, came away really down, even though the speaker was very good.
As i sat waiting for hubby to come and push me, he dropped me off in my wheelchair and had to go park the car, i saw another bunch of new applicants coming out holding their white papers and worried looks on their faces, i can spot them a mile off, and can only wonder how many will get there, and how long it will take them.
This year i had a chateract off my left eye on the 4th jan and it was good to start the new year with much better eyesight, am trying to be positive for the start of 2013, a new stomach and a new me, just got to try and not do too much damage over christmas, will only have to starve to get it off, so better not to overindulge.
Happy Christmas sleevers and sleevers to be, enjoy the build up to Christmas and have a blessed day and a fantastic new you in the new year, lots of love, xx

now it is more waiting time for this blood test to come back, but feel better that something is been done.
I am really hoping i don't have lupus, the google facts were not encouraging, but am not worrying.
I could be just one of those people who have slower clotting times than other people, and if so, it shouldn't have any bad side effects, i have lived 15 years after my gall bladder out, so just not worrying, it was too thin then and here i am now, still alive, lol.
My goal now is to not go mad over christmas, and still try to eat healthy like i need to for my health and to loose excess weight and maintain weight loss, after the op, and am more positive that i will get my sleeve done in the new year, a new start.
4th of Jan this year i had a chateract removed and that was a good start to the year, my eyesight is so much better, so a new stomach for jan 2013 will be great, heres hoping,

now it is more waiting time for this blood test to come back, but feel better that something is been done.
I am really hoping i don't have lupus, the google facts were not encouraging, but am not worrying.
I could be just one of those people who have slower clotting times than other people, and if so, it shouldn't have any bad side effects, i have lived 15 years after my gall bladder out, so just not worrying, it was too thin then and here i am now, still alive, lol.
My goal now is to not go mad over christmas, and still try to eat healthy like i need to for my health and to loose excess weight and maintain weight loss, after the op, and am more positive that i will get my sleeve done in the new year, a new start.
4th of Jan this year i had a chateract removed and that was a good start to the year, my eyesight is so much better, so a new stomach for jan 2013 will be great, heres hoping,

Am really at the end of my tether with it all now, feel like deleting the blog and go back to try and loose weight on my own, i am writing this blog to keep account of my life before and after the sleeve operation, but seriously wondering if i will ever have the op.
I have been waiting in hope every day that i would get a telephone call to tell me why my blood isnt clotting and what the treatment will be.
Why does it take this long, am sooo annoyed and fed up.
I have been trusting in God and patiently waiting and if wasn't for my faith in God i just don't know what i would do.
There is something inside that keeps me from walking away from it all and helps me to continue to hope and keep on with this, but i am still having to battle with my feelings which are at screaming point, my feelings say just give up and stay fat, but in me deep down i know that it is worth hanging on and keep waiting to get my operation, but it feels like i am hanging by my fingertips.
I have had a really bad time with gout, and fibromyalgia this last month, in fact it is so bad i have had to get a chairlift to get upstairs to go to bed, i can hardly walk and am desperate to get this weight off which will help my joints not having to carry so much weight.
It is 2 years in january since i first started the process and all the other people who started at the same time have had their ops and lost their weight.
I know it can always seem to be darker just before the dawn but, i need my dawn now.
I was told that i could ring my specialist nurse anytime which is good, but has she has never had this happen to a patient before she is in the dark too.
I can't ring the hospital because they say they are checking everyday and will ring me as soon as the results are back.
This limbo is driving me crazy, the not knowing is horrible.
The comments are wearing thin now, that it is better to be safe than sorry, i know, i know, i have never wanted something as much as i want this and that is why it is so hard, i have jumped through hoops, starved for two weeks, and then nothing, dissapointment is the worse thing.
Do i feel better for writing this, well, no not really, but as i am an honest person at least this hard part will be recorded and not glossed over.
God doesn't say we won't have problems in this life, but thank you God you are with me and i know that only you will bring me through this time and that stretching and growth hurts, ouch, but it will all work together for my good, i just don't like this going through it, i need to be carried for a bit, my legs are tired of walking, i need rest, those that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength like eagles on the wind, I am waiting Lord.
God is never late, always on time, His time. here endeth my blog for today. but hoping for in my next blog