RJ'S/beginning

Yesterday I made a Wheat berry, Kale & Cranberry salad...it was to die for so i made it again today....If I had added some seeds or chicken or any Protein it would be a complete protein...I ate it with broiled salmon.....It was wonderful!

Some people never get over the loss of a loved one and then has to needs to find solace in something to make the pain tolerable. She has introduced food into her life as her comfort.. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with her but I can tell you care about her deeply..What you might be able to do is get her moving...change it up for her...After the investigation into her bowels is done and if she is fine...Encourage her to volunteer at a hospital or another place that could use her love... There is a very good chance that she feels like she really has no reason to worry about anything anymore... I remember when my children moved from home I had a meltdown. Food was my comfort then! I felt I lost every reason I existed for and I had no place left in life....It is a very painful thing to go through.... I am so sorry for her pain....Life can really be difficult sometimes..It is not for the faint of heart!!!!

While you are waiting for the Omega 3 to kick in try this in your hair.. If you have straight hair----1 c Water, 1 Tablespoon baking soda...That's your shampoo mix them together in a spray bottle... Conditioner----- 1/2 c apple cider vinegar, 1 c water. If your hair is curly, then your conditioner should be 1 c of each. You should notice a difference in 1 weeks if you use every day. The apple cider vinegar will take the itch away almost right away.....K Sounds strange but works...imagine how much you will save in hair products...lol

A year ago I was still in a coma today....Went in on the 12th of Nov. and I would still be in it at this time last year...I missed my 35 anniversary last year and this year I am having troubles dealing with what happened to me at this time...So we did not Celebrate our 36th.. I realize just how long 19 days can be that I missed in my life....How when I came out of the hospital everyone around me had changed and gone on like their lives did not stop...... I have come a long way that is true but I found out yesterday that my lungs have developed pneumonia and my Alveolar are shut down and now I am on some very strong antibiotics and the treat of being put back in the hospital for a couple of weeks..... Will this ever end and I can get on with my new life and finish my goal? I am starting to wonder whats next!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a friend once who came to my house and had tea with me on the deck..This was shortly after I had a nervous breakdown...She came to tell me that she could no longer be my friend as she had no time for it....I had been there for her through many hardships that she endured and never thought twice...She even lived with me and my family for three months when her husband threatened to kill her.....She returned the favor with that comment..Which I will never forget.... I have no idea why I had/have friends like this. My daughter always tells me that they pick me because they know I will move mountains to help them and they know it..... I am sorry about your best friend...I know what it is like feeling like you have been punched in the gut by people who meant so much to you..... I have decided no more.....Not for me anymore..They all went too far..And I will go on, but without them in my life.... Like you I have my family as support and we help each other.... Thank you for your expressions!

I meant to say put a little basil on the skin of the chicken and sprinkle poultry seasoning in the chest cavity...oops!!! It has been a long day!!!!!!

What's working a little better for me is chicken in the crockpot or the pressure cooker. It's SO easy to make in the crockpot. If you are also feeding a family, it's good for everyone. I take an onion and slice it, and put it in the bottom of the crockpot. Then I place a whole chicken or some dark meat like thighs with bones and cook it for 4 hours on high or 8 hours on low. No Water added! It's so much more moist and edible, like a rotisserie chicken, except better. I use it for all kinds of things through the week. the other thing that works for me is to take that chicken and put it into a kitchenaid bowl and shred it like restaurants do. It comes out really fine, and if you mix that with a little mayo, it's finely shredded chicken salad and that goes down a lot easier. I can't do beef in chunks but ground beef or ground chicken works very well. A little experimenting and creativity in the kitchen helps a lot. I have all these recipes and more on my blog, and if you are tired of shakes, try the "full liquids" high protein soups. Nice change. Try rubbing some Basil on the skin and put some in the chest cavity..you get the aroma of a stuffed chicken dinner...

Same here...i can't eat some of my favorite foods since the surgery...i used to live for Chinese food...now can't touch it! Beef and pork still cause me pain and I am over a year out....Does not bother me though I have adapted....Love fish now and can't get enough..... Explore your options and be adventurous with it and you will find new things that make you even happier to eat then the same old stuff.....K

Me too....

Your stomach is raw and in stress...It has not healed in the slightest at this point...When your stomach is finally healed which takes longer on the inside then the outside your tissue will envelope the staples and it will be extremely strong..Until then it is a chance we all take when we don't follow what our surgeon tells us.. I did follow what he said and still developed a leak.....A year of hell has followed that problem.. Ask yourself..is it worth it to rush a week or two weeks because you think you are ready for the next stage.?....It could happen anyway there is no guarantee but why push the envelope....Treat your sleeve like a baby and you will be glad the rest of your life that this short time of being better safe then sorry paid off......K

Try Caster oil...K That is the only product that actually seeps into the scare and helps heal from inside and at the same time fade the scars..Bio oil....I have no faith in it anymore...Used it on a skin cancer scar and made no difference at all..However I use Caster oil on my new family of scars and they are lighter and softer then they were before...A huge difference.....

The one on your far left is where they removed your stomach...It will hurt the longest out of all of them... I have 12 incisions...I look like someone shot me with a Gatling gun....perfect circle!

Thank you for sharing your experience with me...I am touched by your kindness..... I suffer from chronic depression and have for 14 years now......So as soon as you think you are ahead of the game something else takes you down again....the knowledge that everyone kept going on with their lives affected my family more then me at that time...My hubby still talks about a year later how the world never stopped when he almost lost me... I meant that the people in my life changed, those I thought were my family and friends forgot about me and did not even send me a card or flowers or even, even send my hubby a small meal to help him as he drove 1 1/2 hours back and forth to the hospital every single day....I am having trouble dealing with those people as well who were so wrapped up in there own lives they did not help me or mine when I was in need..... I was always there for them and now it is being all brought back to my mind and my heart hurts...I never realized how alone I was or am in my world and have been trying so hard to deal with the changes... People who I thought would always be there and saw me as a friend abandoned me and mine...I can't go past that and forgive them...I can't...I have to let it all go I know but it is like it is all coming back up in my face and hurting me so much.....So many things happened that I can not understand.....I have not spent time with any of them after I came home because of how things went down.....some are now trying to return to our friendship now that I am out of the worst of it....But I will not ever let them....... Every day I look at my differences that I have made and the strength that I have had to bring from deep inside and wonder why....What made them all forget about me when I was in the hospital?...What could my family have done to be not helped or even given a second thought.....It is so much pain and right now it is all back in my face...It is like I am reliving it...... Sorry for the venting....I have had years of therapy to help me with all my issues....I can no longer look to others for help..I have to find it within myself....I will do that and get a balance on all of it.......I promise! Hi RJ, I can completely relate with what you are saying. I went through something similar regarding so called "friends" and them not being there when we really thought they would be. I really had to step back and decide if those are people that I wanted in my life. Although it was not easy to make the decision, it was a decision we had to make. Especially when it gets to the point where they try to turn the tables and make it about us. At some point we have to do what is healthy for us mentally so we can get better physically. In life there will be people that will come in and out of our lives. We accept that and it sure does not make it any easier. I am so sorry to hear about your journey but, you can say this.....you are here and you are alive. You are able to spend another day and another holiday with your friends and family. Even though your spirits are low hopefully you can take comfort in the fact that you have weathered through the storm. Hopefully you have gone through the eye of the storm and this minor setback will give you more strength to continue. I understand that the constant medical issues are enough to drive you crazy. Hopefully you don't let it consume you. I have read a lot of your comments on here. You sound like a loving and caring person. I am sure you have friends and family that would move heaven and earth for you (one sounds like your amazing husband). Stay strong and keep your head up. You ARE amazing! I know that if you experienced the same thing then there were times when your heart has been broken over false friends...I am more upset about the lack of help toward my husband then me..I was stuck in the hospital for 5 months while he cared for everything else..Nothing could compare to the strength he showed and shared....I fell in love with him all over again while I was in the hospital..He is my champion and I use it every day to give me strength to carry on......Thank you for sharing with me!!

I suspect if your husband was in a coma and you were driving 3 hours to see him, things would have been quite different. Women generally support women pretty well, coming off the back of relationships in which they share a lot about feelings, hopes and fears. - men often don't have those sort of relationships and so don't get the follow up. And the reality is people just don't get it - they can't believe what's happening and the routine of their lives grabs them and sweeps them up. Having said all that, I reckon you and your hubby have good reason to be both hurt and angry about what happened, and there are probably a few select people who need to hear that directly from you. Have you done that? Or could you? The last thing I would like to say is - not everyone is good at "stepping up". In fact most aren't but will respond when asked. It only takes one person to get that ball rolling, and unfortunately that person wasn't there when your hubby needed help. We all hope we have that person in our lives but many, many people don't ... for heaps of different reasons. One of which is that often people assume someone else is able to do it better and probably is. That they don't really have much to offer. Talking about it here... and wherever else you can... is a gift to others. It reminds us all what we MUST do, even if we feel uncomfortable or 99% sure that someone else is doing all the supporting. Although it never hurts to look "inside" and see if that experience includes some feedback that you or your hubby need to take on board, there probably isn't. It wasn't personal - rather an unhappy collision of small gaps and others insecurities. About 10 years ago, when I was working horrid long hours with a nasty b*tch of a boss and a five year old son who desparately wanted more time with mum, a friend with no local family had a difficult birth, and also had 2 other small children. The day she got home from hospital I drove to see her and picked up a frozen lasagne, garlic bread and pre-made salad on the way. Her husband was on the verge of being offended - thinking he could pop up the shops and get frozen food all by himself. I felt really stupid for a moment, and further swamped by my out of control life, but my very smart friend called out "Leave her alone, she's taking the one job off you that she could AND she's checking we're all doing ok". And then she embraced me and my frozen lasagne and said "thank you" a dozen times. No one else had come near them and they were hurting. I vowed from then on to always try to do that one small job for someone else in need, even if it seems woefully inadequate. You just never know. Take care and good luck. PS: Sorry for v long post. Seems to be therapy for me too. I have always been the step up kind and rallied the the troops to help others.....Did so and am still doing so....One friend kept everyone updated a little on the situation and the need for help and no one responded except her and some of my neighbors....It's okay because I now know who I can trust and believe and who I cannot....I learned a grave lesson through all of this. I really have.... Now it has gotten out that I am smaller and lost a ton of weight and those very same people want to get a look at me to see if it is true..I so far have been so shocked about the obvious way they have approached me that I was not prepared...But now I am and I will be from now on.... I am so happy that you have told me your thoughts I appreciate the fact that you are a giving person and found the time to help others....It is a lesson we all need to learn to take the chance and help others whether we don't know what to do or not.. It is one reason a lot of people don't visit people who are dying...They think what if I say something dumb? Or what do I say? The point is that you went you tried and they will remember your visit...I only know of total disappointment from all of them.....

LOL..not there yet, they are just threatening me....yikes!

When I was starting to feel better I wrote letters to a few of them that really let me down...The responses were more condescending then saying they were sorry....Using the expression " I am sorry you feel this way" is an apology without apologizing....I have no tolerance for that...and have told those ones not to enter my world again....Yes I should celebrate number 36....seems like a long time for us....But we can do it maybe when the pain is not so fresh again... I so hope next year I will not feel this bad that every year it will get easier and easier..That is my hope anyway....One of my friends told me that the entire ordeal is still just under the surface for me....She is right, and the more that is tossed on to the pile makes it that much harder....Thank you gamergirl for your thoughts!

Thank you for your kindness!

Thank you for your encouragement!

Thank you for sharing your experience with me...I am touched by your kindness..... I suffer from chronic depression and have for 14 years now......So as soon as you think you are ahead of the game something else takes you down again....the knowledge that everyone kept going on with their lives affected my family more then me at that time...My hubby still talks about a year later how the world never stopped when he almost lost me... I meant that the people in my life changed, those I thought were my family and friends forgot about me and did not even send me a card or flowers or even, even send my hubby a small meal to help him as he drove 1 1/2 hours back and forth to the hospital every single day....I am having trouble dealing with those people as well who were so wrapped up in there own lives they did not help me or mine when I was in need..... I was always there for them and now it is being all brought back to my mind and my heart hurts...I never realized how alone I was or am in my world and have been trying so hard to deal with the changes... People who I thought would always be there and saw me as a friend abandoned me and mine...I can't go past that and forgive them...I can't...I have to let it all go I know but it is like it is all coming back up in my face and hurting me so much.....So many things happened that I can not understand.....I have not spent time with any of them after I came home because of how things went down.....some are now trying to return to our friendship now that I am out of the worst of it....But I will not ever let them....... Every day I look at my differences that I have made and the strength that I have had to bring from deep inside and wonder why....What made them all forget about me when I was in the hospital?...What could my family have done to be not helped or even given a second thought.....It is so much pain and right now it is all back in my face...It is like I am reliving it...... Sorry for the venting....I have had years of therapy to help me with all my issues....I can no longer look to others for help..I have to find it within myself....I will do that and get a balance on all of it.......I promise!

I understand the theory....god does not test you beyond what you can handle...I would just like to have a small break..last week it was another issue that I am facing...Around the middle of Dec. I have to have a surgery which I am not looking forward to...One thing after another and I know I am ranting...Somehow it does not matter what I have accomplished this day...I feel like I have resistance to every step of the way....So disheartening sometimes you know!!!! Don't worry though like you have all said this too will pass...I just pray I have the inner strength to keep fighting and living as each night mare unfolds....Now I am being dramatic...oops!

Thank you, you are so encouraging to me to understand where I am coming from when I do talk on this forum....I see it despite everything a miracle and a privilege to have had this done...Sometimes it just gets frustrating when they threaten another hospital stay...The last one was 5 months...been there done that...I just want to fly now and get where I want to go..I know you understand that somehow...

I had no real health issues except a back injury that kept me almost immobile. Yes we all have issues and we all deal as I will too....I just get really frustrated sometimes because on here I read about everyone's huge successes...And the fact that everyone gets to build themselves up to the point of exercising and shaping up and feeling wonderful....Me I am still struggling with the illnesses that got me after the surgery.... I hope with all my heart that no one experiences what I have gone through this past year and a half.....I really dislike these setbacks!!!!!!!!!!

It is always an awe moment eh!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats girl!!!!

Holy crap gamergirl.....what a figure.......I can only hope after a lot of surgery that I will have a body similar to yours....holy macaroni!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!