RJ'S/beginning

Oh, RJ, how heartbreaking, but you are right, what you lived through has made you who you are today. I pray that God will continue to help you overcome the demons you struggle with. Hugs to you The old expression applies here..."what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I'm going with that!!!

I am on my last day of antibiotics....hopefully that will take care of the pneumonia...If not I will have to go to the hospital for a week or so..Still having other issues and have an upcoming surgery for that....they want to find out what's going on there...Other then that still fighting the fight.....Thank you for asking ..Your so nice to me!!! :wub:

Here is some honesty for you...I will regret this after it is out there because it has totally made me who I am today.....Okay lets get started! As a child I was in an emotionally destructive home with my father and mother and 9 siblings...My father constantly beat my mother and us up all the time...We were poor and they hardly ever provided us with nourishment or anything else...The rivalry that was between them never stopped them from reproducing in their crewed up way they got a long there...So I don't remember ever having a cookie or cake or any food for that matter...At the age of 5 my mother decided she had had enough and moved all us kids and herself into town and the poverty really began. I don't know what my mother did with the money she collected from welfare but the hunger remained... I remember sharing one box of Kraft dinner with 9 of us and feeling like my guts were cut in 2 because instead of satisfying us it made the hunger worse. We ate a lot of Beans, Kraft dinner and Soup made from dog bones we got at the local grocery store for free. The children started to steal apples and fruit off of neighboring trees, and relied on strangers who saw our plight to give us something to eat at times....I can't remember a time that I was ever full..or any of my siblings remember that either... A few years past and my mother married again..This man brought a bit of stability into our lives and was a gentle soul at first....We had food!!!! We hid food every where we could think of because we did not trust that it all would not happen again... A few years have past and my mother convinced him that if he did not learn to discipline us she would end the relationship....The abuse cycle soon began again and continued until all of us eventually left home....It was abuse of every kind and all of us are scarred in different ways... Me I built a wall that would not allow anyone to get close to me because I did not trust anyone including my brothers or relatives. I started to gain weight in grade 5 and this was because I could not trust that there would be food tomorrow...So we were like a pack of dogs...feast or famine..... I lost the excess when I was 15 and the extra attention I was getting was not welcome and I made the decision that if I was fat no one would bother me or try to give me that kind of attention....I started to regain the weight at 18. At nineteen I married my husband and then the whole world imploded....A man in my life...my mortal enemy... i went nuts and put weight on fast I could not handle marriage at all. Mean while the abuse continued with my parents who instilled in us such fear and loyalty that we could not break it...it was a fear of the unknown...Know the devil your with then the one your not...you get it!!! I tried so hard to keep normal and raised 2 kids and somehow kept my marriage together...the pain was so great and my life felt empty as it did when I was a child...we were all married and had children and my parents never answered for anything....At 40 I started having repressed memories and went for counseling....The only benefit from that was that I learned that I was a victim not the perp as my mother always said what did you do to him for him to do that to you..... In 2000 I went home and traveled through my memories and that night I went into a nervous breakdown....followed by a major depression....Years have past and I have been working on every single issue that haunts me from my past and I have come a long way....I do not think I will ever be totally healed...I think that I am doing amazing considering I was raised by wolves...My mother is a psychopath and my step father was her lap dog....he did all her bidding!!! So here I am today struggling with the last part of my inner and outer torment and working hard every day to find the good in myself and as I bring this wall down the fear of someone noticing me again is paralyzing..I might not have that issue since I am a lot older now...who knows... I must beat my demons..the ones that brought me to this place and never allow them to hurt or damage me again.. This story is an over view of what I have gone through and my siblings are as scarred as I am but in different ways... For me the numbers frighten me.. They are mere factors in a broader spectrum of life!

That's just rude..The nerve...hey..I would not answer but ask in return how much they have gained today....okay maybe not! But I would ask why they thought they had the right to ask?

Hahha I call people Hun too...and I've never been creeped out by you calling anyone that. Thanks hun.....hehehehehe

Thank you for telling me how you feel...I am on here for the same reasons as everyone else to give this new life my perspective of it...If I can be encouraging to your friend...message me privately and I would be glad to help her where I can...maybe she would talk to me via email...I am here for the sleevers 100 %

One of the things that I will always remember is that old expression...There is always someone who stands out in your mind forever...Well I am going to be that patient for my surgeon....He has taken a personal interest in my welfare and is constantly looking out for me....When I went septic, his personal nurse told me later on that he sobbed like a baby....this is not a job to him, this is his baby...He could make tons of money on other surgeries but he feels that the abuse and self loathing that obese people get and feel is not worth their lives if he can do something about it....i admire him for that and was treated like a queen by his personal staff.... They see me coming and there is all smiles and sheer happiness to see me....That is the way they should all be with any surgery....Do it because they want to help people......not make money..you know!!!!!!!!!!

I do call people "Hun"...gotta admit that...not sweetie...but of course we all go to church somewhere ;-P I call people on here Hun all the time...For me it is a term of gentleness....not creepy...yikes..I think I might need to create my own language..lol I am so confused....

I don't even remotely feel like your old, I promise!! Hah, I say ma'am to lotsa folks on here...come on down south, you'll see what I'm talking about Yes down south, where little kids get "slapped upside the head" for neglecting to say ma'am. She's right, I have found myself saying yes ma'am to women much younger than me. Here in Canada we say sorry a lot even if it does not apply or there is nothing to be sorry for...We can bump into a chair and say sorry to it....I guess that may not be the same...different strokes for different folks eh....Guess I will have to live with the ma'am comment..Don't want anyone forgetting their manners now would we.....lol

Your eyes are huge now..lol...Mine are huge too now....Amazing the transformation...you look so happy and beautiful!

Such a change...You must be thrilled...would love to know what the head looks like too...There must be a smile on it at least...Go girl go!!!!!

Thank you ma'am:) There you go with that ma'am thing...oh you make me feel so old..Even though you learned as being polite...Where I come from it means showing respect to the old ones around you...yikes!

Wow..I am 55 and I try to wear skinny jeans all the time...My legs are sticks and the skinny jeans don't look as bad as regular jeans.. Your family is not going to send you out looking bad..They love you and only desire the best for you..TRUST them a little..and enjoy the ride it is only going to get better.. Your thinking with your fat brain instead of celebrating the NSV that you can enjoy right now.....Come on your doing great!!!!!!!!!

Congrats girl...your moving toward the light.....

I think a lot of it has to do with your mind set as well. It was strange because I just "knew" I would be okay. It was instinct for me. I had envisioned exactly how I was going to feel when I got out of surgery and how I was going to recover before I had it. I made up my mind that I was going to be successful before I even began and I think that is so important on this journey. Especially, and you'll understand what I mean when I say this about 3-5 weeks in, every single day can be different. You'll experience different things and feel different things. One week you'll be like "screw carbs!" and the next week you're calling people carb nazi's because the idea of not eating a sandwich again in life is disturbing (just do a search under my name.. it's tragic. Laura can vouch for that... lol). Mind set..well that only goes so far...There are so many variables to this WLS...Me I was so excited I could hardly stand it..I researched the sleeve for 2 years and was put on a waiting list for 4 years..I had plenty of time to mull it over and come to the conclusion that it may give me a longer healthier life and I was ready..Boy was I ready...I could not wait to get the show on the road.. I bought everything I would possibly need to succeed and stocked up on everything I may possibly want to eat or drink that was healthy.. I even went through my closet and got rid of some of my extra big clothes just in case I was one of those " fast losers ".. Mindset no....it has to do with the surgeons abilities and your own body's reaction to the WLS... I was 1 in 600 patients that had complications! Why me? There is no reason it just happened...It has been worth all the struggle and pain for me... Your friend will decide for herself if this was worth it or not...Maybe not now as she is struggling with issues. But sometime after, later when things start falling into place. It is never your fault...We make our own decisions and what happens is what happens...

Wheat berry, Kale and Cranberry salad 10 min. prep / 40 min. total 1 cup dried wheat berries 1/2 cup dried cranberries 1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil 3 Tablespoons balsamic vinegar 1/2 teaspoon salt 5 cups chopped kale, about a 1/2 of a bunch 1/2 cup red onion diced 1 yellow or red pepper, diced Method: Rinse wheat berries. Combine with 8 cups Water in a medium pot. Bring to boil, then reduce heat to medium high. Cook covered for 30-35 minutes. Stir in cranberries during the last 2 minutes of cooking. Drain and rinse in cold water. Whisk oil with vinegar and salt in a large bowl. Season with fresh pepper. Stir in wheat berry mixture, kale, onions and red/yellow pepper. Serve immediately. Keeps well left over in the refrigerator for 1 day. Serves 12. 143 calories. 3 grams Protein. 20 grams carbs. 7 grams fat. 3 grams Fiber. 110 mg sodium. Excellent source of Vitamin C. Add cooked diced chicken, or chick peas or dare I say bacon...Doing so will give you a complete protein.....

If you would like the recipe I would be happy to post it....Takes only a few minutes prep and 30 min to cook the berries and it tastes heavenly...Eat a Protein along side it and you have a complete meal... yess!! RJ that sounds great. Def post it here. Also...want to be a guest blogger on my site? I would love to post your recipe along with that picture you sent us. Very mouth-watering! I do that blog for free, not for pay, just as a service and a way to share my love for healthy food with other sleevers/wls folks. I have no problem posting her or anywhere else the recipes I have created or have enjoyed through this journey so far.....K gamergirl.....Your a peach to invite me!!!

I think that you can be as prepared as you can possibly be..But there is always the unknown...I know more about weight loss surgery now then I ever wanted to know when I thought I was so prepared....Everything is different, everything has changed..right down to the people I spend time with...My fat self died along with my old life... Having trouble adjusting but that is okay.....i am the me I knew was in there some where..She just has to find her new way..that's all!

If you would like the recipe I would be happy to post it....Takes only a few minutes prep and 30 min to cook the berries and it tastes heavenly...Eat a protein along side it and you have a complete meal...

I am one of those people with severe complications...My life completely turned upside down because of the decision I made to make my life and my health better.... I am still struggling a year later with health problems because of my choice...Would I recommend it to anyone else...YES I would..If their quality of life was like mine before I had this surgery I would in a fast minute...I would however let them know all the possible risks....But I was the walking dead and had no quality of life... Sure there are restrictions and not always good days and probably the hardest thing I ever did in my life...The benefits extremely out weigh the bad days for sure... I have my life back...I can do almost anything now and am still not at goal...I am a new person with a new look at life.... In fact it is one year today that I came out of my 19 day coma due to a leak and I went septic....I am reliving the events of my ordeal but not regretting it....that will never happen I have turned my eating into a more interesting exotic experience now and enjoy different food then I have ever before...I am not satisfied with mac and cheese any more...If it is not tasty or interesting I don't eat it...I have become a food snob....I like it that way..... Too many positives for me to look at this with fear or regret!!!!!

I was told tonight at my favorite store that I can't shop there anymore...the woman behind the counter told me they don't carry my size at all.... What is strange is that a little over a year ago I was in the biggest size in the store and just barely fitting into it it was so tight.... Wow eh!!!!!!!!

That is so wonderful...congratulations about your new unraveled life..Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!

Oh that looks amazing! Do you boil the wheat berries? Or just soak them? boil them for 30 min. Then add the dried cranberries...So good you would not believe it...seriously!