RJ'S/beginning

Butter, so true!!!! My husband has been hiding the scale from me - I only get to weigh once per week (this was after an incident when I "only" lost .5 pounds right after surgery...yeah, another story for another day). I might take your advice on putting it away for a couple of weeks. As always, thanks for your insight. Hun don't weigh yourself for a month..These stalls are so depressing..You need to let your body get on with business and let it give you the rest you need....Thank goodness you have a good hubby!

I love shortbread Cookies with fruit and walnuts in them. You can only get them this time of year...I have eaten more then a few of them so far..But instead of tossing them out they lurk in my freezer waiting for my next onset of depression or whatever......Can't dispose of them yet.... They are like a pack of cigarettes that people keep in their pocket just in case while they are breaking the habit.......Last year I did not have to face this I just got out of a coma and could not eat or drink for 5 months.....yikes....This season is rearing it's ugly head......

First off Chelenka there seems to be a lot of lurkers on this forum and this thread....Makes me a little nervous about everything I posted here...LOL But what the hell, honesty is a part of healing and your story adds to the case that that is what this thread is all about. I appreciate your candidness and honesty and the fact that you shared with all of us your story... The wounds inflicted may be different then my wounds. But they are none the less wounds. You are right some people react differently to abuse. It is what ever makes them feel good about themselves during the abusive time and what follows in life.... It is a mirage. And because we are children we don't know better. How we carry it into our adulthood I have no idea but it is just the way it is....We are never satisfied with finding happiness within ourselves or learning to love ourselves for who we are. It is a sad state of affairs to be sure.... When I was 11 my mother in front of all my siblings and my step father after supper handed me 2 girdles and said that she felt that this would help hold me in if I was going to continue to eat like I did......I thought I would die right there and then...... I felt so sick and instead of that ending the eating pattern, it just enhanced it; made it spiral out of control... There is one good thing about all the struggles we have lived through. It makes us more compassionate and caring and thoughtful toward others...It surprises me when some people on here say that they look at fat people differently and find themselves becoming judgmental of them after they have and are still struggling with the same issues and will for the rest of their lives.... I believe that because of everything we have gone through it does make us stronger but better human beings as a whole and maybe I would not want to ever change that..... You to are very brave and I admire the fact that you shared...I have 2 questions though... What happened to the singing career? And how is your hubby handling the thinner you?

I take prim rose in gel capsules. I take them a long with my Vitamins, twice a day...Seems to be working..My skin has already improved some on my hands..... I use caster oil on my scars..It is the only product that sinks into the tissue and heals the inner scar and makes it softer...I also stretch and rub the scars gently which help to keep the hardness from forming....

That's what 150 looks like....i am on my way....You look amazing!

what? how daft can they be?!

As we all know everyone is different and can or cannot tolerate certain foods or liquid...I am a year out and still have issues with pork or beef....But no reflux so i have been able to drink a 1/4 c of orange juice with my pills every night...I chose low acid though maybe that is the difference.

you will have to sign a permission slip for the surgery even to take place...Before signing ask if it is for the sleeve....K

you should be proud of yourself girl..You look awesome...Congrats on your wonderful success....You should brag and with rights as well...dang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that is an understatement....I fear I am going to die a Popsicle if things don't change....I used to think I would rather be cold then hot anytime..NOW..not so sure..Everyone says that you do adjust but it takes some time..Okay....It is over a year..I did my time......she sighs!

I drink oj at night when I take my Iron pills..It helps absorb the iron better.. Now I drink G2 Gatorade for hydration..1/2 Water 1/2 G2..works well....you can try that and maybe ease up on the juice.... Run it by your Doc and nut though to be sure...k

Today I got up and there was a dark cloud looming over my head...i felt like I was so heavy and sick. Even looking at this forum did not cheer me up. I shuffled through the morning answering posts and reading posts and felt unsatisfied with everything I wrote... I was supposed to go to the grocery store and walk around and maybe buy some vegetables. But I felt to over whelmed to even do that by myself.... Before I had WLS my surgeon said that most people who have this surgery also beat depression and become happy. I looked at him in awe as he said those words hoping that I might be one of them... When I spent those 5 months in the hospital they took me off my depression meds and for 2 months I felt okay considering the state I was in. Then, all of a sudden I found myself going deep into a dark hole. I became irritated and no one could help me...I kept the blinds closed in my room and would not comment when the nurses urged me to let the Vitamin D in. The Doctors would come and talk to me and I could not answer..It was as if I could not hear them or understand what they were saying..I felt drained and dark and as if I was falling into the black hole.. My husband came to my rescue and told them that if they did not start up the meds again worse then my saddened state was going to happen and they would not be able to help me anymore..So they started me on liquid Prozac..That stuff tasted like pure sugar with a nasty taste..but listening to my hubby I did what he said and within a couple weeks I started to come out of the darkness.... Since then I have had days where I feel down and sad and I should be happy and excited about my new life and the strides I have made... Today my hubby took me to the grocery store because I could not handle going alone. I told him that I wish i had been one of the ones that got better and did not have any more depression...It is not to be I guess.... All the improvements and life changes and working on myself to make me a better, healthier person; I will always suffer from that dreaded condition...Chronic depression...I really feel it today....It is a very long day today...

Hey you stole my line!!!

I hear you, I lost 176 so far and look like a wrinkly hag..This part is not so fun....

Your so adorable!!!!!!

It will get much worse before it gets better..As you go and get the surgery you will find that there are so many other issues that come up, so many uncertainties that you will be asking ?'s left and right... You will also realize that no matter how prepared you are there will be a lot of unknowns for you. Also there will be things you think and say and feel that you never thought possible. You will get nervous and anxious and happy and sad and every emotion known to mankind.... This forum will help you along with the issues that your head causes and will cause you....There is someone on here that has felt what you feel, done what you've done and found her/his way past it...You are not alone here.... So keep up the research and the forum....it will really help you along the way...K

Thank you..I really don't think that the way I feel has much to do with my mother...It just comes and goes..why I don't know..Along with it I get really tired...That's just the way it is..This to shall pass until I have another bout of it.......

RJ, I'm such a noob here. And don't know you. And don't know your story / history. But ... didn't you just see your mom? No..I talked to her on the phone last week...That is when she told me that she does not want to hear from me ever again..Then she hung up the phone on me..Not a slam but a quiet click.... That has happened a lot in my life time and it usually takes 6 months to a year for her to write me and tell me that she excepts my apology and if I want to call her I can or send a parcel.....I usually wait a while and then call her.. This game is getting so old now and so is she...She's 80 and still at it......too much!

LOL..I tried coconut oil...not much success..I am finding the prime rose to be working though...

Thank you sweetie, but today I need more then a hug...Don't know what it is but it would have to be something big...Good thing is, I can't eat..the plus side of depression....It's a good thing...Martha...no/yes..oh well!

You know..later when you are in the throws of the journey..you will be able to handle all of that stuff..There may even be that you won't want that kind of food after the sleeve.. But for now you are vulnerable and have to take what ever action works for you. You want to shrink your liver so that it will be easier for the surgeon to do the operation..... They will just have to understand..It is about you, and you have to do it for you...Hope it helps..

I did not eat with my family the entire time I did pre-op...I did not even cook for them..They were on their own as I was..this was about me and what I had to do to be healthier.... you might want to leave the room even if you still have to cook for them....

My skin has changed a lot since surgery...It is much dryer. I am cold all the time now because I don't have the insulation I used to.. My hair is finally growing back and a few other things...the best part is through it all I have lost over 176 lbs. yee haww

I started taking prim rose oil in gel form yesterday...I have been having a lot of trouble with my skin being dry and cracking.....it will take a week or so but it will be worth it if it works...I am taking 1000 mg a day so far Might want to try that!

I have been on a few meds for depression...Right now I am on a soup..which means a few kinds all at once..I have had the help and the classes and everything in between...It is just there to irritate and hold me back from living sometimes...the episodes usually last only up to a week..And then I get a little reprieve...Here's hoping!