RJ'S/beginning

You really did show great restraint.....What a shallow B***H!

With the sleeve it is not recommended to use anything for pain relief except Tylenol. You can us Migraine but have to take something to coat your sleeve first.....We don't want ulcers or a leak.......

Your body is still pushing out all the stuff they gave you during surgery. You are going to get headaches from the lack of food too. Your body is used to eating a lot more right. It takes time for the change to happen. Try to consume some coconut Water if you can. no pulp. It is a natural hydrater. Also some G2 just to help as a thirst quencher at this point. If you are feeling weak and dizzy and want to throw up it is possible it is dehydration. The above will assist.

WELL......hun. I guess you haven't read any of my story....It has been on here for all to read..... All the things people deal with on here are things that were not explained to them before the surgeries. what you read are their heart felt concerns over whether deep down in side they can handle anything that they face. To the smallest question to the smallest fear to the exact thing they are going through right now. I would rather they put it here so we can help then for them to have to deal on their own and flounder around as so many professionals have no clue what we deal with..... I say bring on the whole deal. Lets be there for one another and make it that much easier to deal with the unknowns. I am happy for you that you are finding little related to yourself and your needs. The fact that you are testing the waters with sweets at this stage, says to me that you had an emotional attachment to them. That means others here can relate to you. Trust me when I tell you that it is going to be a real test for you to continue with the changes you are making...It is a lot of emotional, mental and physical changes to deal with..And it is all in your head the changes that need to be made. And you may find that it will take a struggle of a life time to do it.... I hope that you continue to find the pros in your favor.......

I had to go to a specialist for my reactive hypoglycemia. Nothing is working. I have tried it all so far and have passed out several times. Anyway. I went two days ago and I am not saying the guy was a jerk because he wasn't. He was very nice and said that he can help me....They are sending me to a dietitian that specializes in difficult situations like mine where nothing is working. He said I was a survivor not a success at WLS. He told me that I am going to be turned into someone that Bariatrics does not like and that is a grazer. I am going to eat every hour. All day long. And the food that I will be given will regulate my sugars. This is his plan..... Now back to my shock and hurt over his comment. I said what are you talking about...I am at goal, and thin....He said so what it is healthy we aim for not thin. Sounded right to me. But then I asked if he had ever been fat in his life and he said..NO..Well I said, You have not got one clue what it is like to be fat and what we go through....He said true but I recommend WLS to a lot of my patients because of Diabetes. I said almost before he finished...And then what!? they get the surgery and are left hanging with no support or help from the medical community. He asked me what I meant and I told him that for most of the complications I have had they have sent me right back to my original surgeon. And there were times when it was not necessary. He said. That's not fair. I said that didn't matter it is the way it is around my area. He said that the wait time is now 7 years here. I said well then a person who really needs it has 2 problems right. He looked at me...first they are in a place where you feel they need this surgery and then they can't get it because of the lists.....Why don't you just write a death certificate and get it over with. He told me to stop crying and put myself together. He asked me why I was so upset. I told him that losing my weight was me being a success story and he repeated again. No! I said I am alive and I was dead before just not in the ground. He said look at you...You are weak and sick and now I have to find out why this stuff keeps happening to you. You obviously have unresolved food issues. I said yes doesn't everyone. Doesn't every one go through periods in their lives where they eat to be happy. Look at the new WW commercial. He then asked me if I would like to see a shrink and I said NO..I have been to enough of them to know they know less them me.. ( sorry if any of you are shrinks, it is not personal ) So I left his office after 2 hours of questions and tears and a solution to my hypoglycemia problem...Soon... So I am still upset and I talk to someone I trust and still crying and in the conversation she says to me. I really don't understand why you even bother with Bariatric Pal. They have not helped you and the only thing you could say to anyone is maybe how to live through a botched surgery....Crushed I listened to the rest of the call without much commenting. This place has been a home for me for over 2 years......And then someone says that I have no right to be here. That I am not needed here. This has really sent me into a spin.... I am not looking for compliments. I want to know what you think about the situation. Am I unsuccessful or should I leave this site that has helped me so much? If there is nothing to offer others then my place here is for not!? Am I only a survivor of WLS? Are others going through similar things as I am? I feel so disheartened!

I have tried steak and or beef several times throughout my 2 years. and it hates me. It just does.....Only once was I able to eat a couple of bites and then the next time I tried it it was back to being stuck in my throat feeling.... Did I mention it just hates me!

I said that kinda tongue in cheek to him. He had already made me upset and I was implying that that is all that matters to them as health professionals. Anyone I have had dealings with anyway!

You recognized your problem right away. Instead of looking at all the changes at one. Take them one day at a time and handle them one day at a time. That is the true way to handle stress. One step, one moment, one thing at a time. Recognizing that we all have the possibility to regain is normal. It is the bane of our new lives. but you already have an idea of what can happen if you let your situations get the better of you. Believe it or not..you are succeeding in retraining your thinking. Before you would have not given it another thought and went for the supposed comfort.....You are already farther a head then you think..... You got this..we are your sounding board...we are here for each other....

Thank you everyone for your support and compassion. I learned that yes I am a survivor but that I am also a success. I appreciate so much your words of encouragement to me. This forum has been so dear to me...And so have all of you. Thank you again! Jane

Interesting way of thinking. But the flux will happen whether you want it to or not. It is the body's way of dealing with excess calories. Metabolism dictates how the calories are burned so if we are unlucky to have a metabolism that does not work like a freight train spiraling out of control. We will fluctuate in weight. Up and down. but it is up to us to keep it under control. that 10 lb goal to settle the fear of gaining it all back in the future. But our minds will continue to play tricks on us for the rest of our lives. There will always be a voice in our heads that tell us we will fail. And that even 10 lbs will be too much. I am trying so hard to come to terms with my 6 lbs I have gained back. I know it is because my muscles are starting to form again and that is adding weight. I think I look better with muscle definition again...lol. My sister called me yesterday. She feels that she will not lose the weight. She is just over a week out. This is and will always be our monkey on our backs. We will always worry about weight gain. And in a sense we should. But not to the point where it dominates our lives. That is the panic that envelopes many who travel this path. Skinny is a state of mind. Healthy is the the goal. Active in our lives and a new outlook on life. They are so important..... And looking amazing in a little black dress.....

As long as food companies are making billions of dollars from additives and their slogans of how food is the ultimate pleasure in life. As long as diet companies are making billions of dollars off of dieters. As long as the government allows these additives like MSG ( taste enhancers ). As long as the cat walk has bulimic models. As long as we have parents teaching their children that it is okay to bully and make fun of those who are different. As long as the medical field blames every illness on weight. ( like no one skinny ever gets sick or dies ) As long as we do not except ourselves for being who we are inside and out ( with the option of self improvement ) Nothing is ever going to really change. My great grandmother ran a lodging house for ranch hands. she would get up at 4 a.m and start cooking. She was almost 400 lbs. And no body noticed her size all they saw was this amazing woman who could cook and put a meal on the table like no other in their lives. She was loved by all and when she died she was 90 lbs. soak and wet. There were not the influences like there are today. Rarely did those people have to find themselves or make a statement to prove anything. They were who they were and probably better for it in most ways. We are in a different world now and it shows. Thin is relative to our personal health and well being. not a number on a scale. For me....I will never be what others think I should be and try very hard not to let them dictate who they think I am or who I should be. My goal is to get better and health is my goal. There is only a few people in my life that has stepped up to help me with anything to aid me anywhere so why should I let them now. Nope! Not happening! It is up to me to get a grip on what will make me healthy and improve my life.

Only a month out you are still healing young lady. And anything even eating can cause fatigue. Just follow your bodies requirements at this point. It knows best! I get hot when I eat...It is called food sweats. I hate that.....Don't know how many others get that!?

If you chose to have fish for breakfast so what. in some countries fish is a breakfast food..lol Protein is the building block of WLS. It is important to eat between 800-1200 calories as your metabolism will shut down and you have just got it working for you gain. Please keep trying to get the Water in. It will help in so many ways. You are in the learning process it will take time to find your way. But you will. Your asking questions so I know you want this badly! There are some foods at over 2 years out that I still cannot eat. Dang though sugar isn't one of them. That is my nemesis. If a food does bother you stop eating it and try again in a month or so... Trust me it will sooner or later get much easier and you will be watching the amounts you eat as well as what you eat even more closely as your new sleeve heals and relaxes some. Getting a hold of your thinking now can really be an aid in this... Seems to me you are doing well...... Except the diarrhea part. That too should pass but if it does not..Your team will help you get a fix for that.... More dense protein and veggies.

I understand only to well the medical field and how they view medical issues. They are a just doing their jobs. but at times it is not how they do their jobs that affect some of us. It is their tone. I saw and felt the tone. It threw me back for a few days. I always have seen WLS as a success or failure. Like everyone else this is what I chose to finally succeed at weight loss. To hear his view of it was unsettling for me at the time. Now! no I put it where it belongs..On a shelf so it can gather dust like all the other opinions that are not truly who we are or me either. I believe that being a success at something means a constant vigilance and that is what we need to survive this choice of change for ourselves. He meant what he said. i am not an idiot. I think it put him on a different plain because he recommends these surgeries every day to his patients and has never heard of these types of complications. He was not prepared for me. And he said what he was thinking. Which is now okay because he is someone who is there to assist me with my health issue. We are not friends. lol But I do think that I walked away with him feeling that maybe he should do a little more research himself before so willy nilly using this as a simple answer to diabetes. It is not simple. For me it is not only a struggle with weight reduction but handling the changes, complications and the severe depression. All wraps up together to make me who I am and one that works every day to make better choices for myself. As the song says ' a long and winding road.'

All WLS are a tool. Each come with different strategies. But there are plenty of successful patients with any one of the tried and true methods. Do your research and you will be become informed. The point is to become well informed. This forum can offer you that information. All the best hun!

I think you are just a doll....100% in my books..Congrats!

No it was someone who just had WLS and thinks that she has it in the bag and that I can't be there for her or anyone else because I only know about a botched surgery. I think it was on top of the other visit with the specialist that made me feel really really bad. I quoted you last night..About what others think of us is none of our business. I am so going to use that for myself from now on. Eps. for those who think they have it so all together... If we did we would not be here looking for support or compassion.... Thank you @@LipstickLady for the quote..........My new go to thought about things that are said that hit my sensitive feelings...Crap you would think that at 56 I would be so strong and not give a dead rats tail about it but at times I have a hard time keeping it together like others do...human condition....

My own personal GP told me not to tell anyone. And if anyone says well tell him to stow it and get a new doctor. This is not the USA. They are rare here. We have waiting lists for those as well. He is a new doctor for me. I got rid of the last one for this one because the other one I had was an a**. In fact the first time he met me I told him I was about to have WLS and he said oh I do not think that is good idea. I think you should go on these new diet pills that are out now..I don't even want to consider if that would have been better for me in the long run...lol

The difference between a stricture and a leak is the stricture is the narrowing of an opening. That a stent may help you with to widen it....Like I said if it works...great, wonderful..But if it doesn't there is a chance for a leak to take place. Just skip to the By pass combo Please don't let them mess around with you and try and try other things..It is your body and the more you go through the weaker your system becomes. It can be a long road to recovery...It has been for me I hope all the best for you!

He could take a piece of stone, say marble, look at it, study it and see what lay inside that piece of rock. He saw beauty in it and worked until that beauty was exposed. He would chip away at the stone little by little shaping it, molding it, working every angle of the rock to make sure that what he saw inside would come to life at his hands. He stood back and looked at his progress and wondered if he was getting the results he knew was inside. He measured, considered and chipped away until the piece was perfect in his mind. Did he expect to find the beauty within the stone in two months? Or even a year? Maybe! Most likely not as his work was calculated and loved as he proceeded to get the most out of the marble that he was working with. His love and artistry has lasted down through the centuries and has awed many of us to this day. Some who dabble in the arts would long to be a fraction of the greatness attributed to Michel Angelo. He worked at it until it was the beautiful piece that he intended it to be. Did he give up! No! Did he question his thoughts and his fortitude to complete the work? Most likely. But without his hard work and seeing his art through to a finish, he would not have been the man everyone considers to be the ultimate artist of all time. Are we like Michelangelo's in our journey to find the beauty within the shell that we are chipping away at bit by bit. Shaping and forming and rebuilding until we have the desired results needed to say our work is complete. Or do we continue to chip and chip away at ourselves with negative talk or expectations of more then what we can find in ourselves? Do we want to go far beyond what is possible and put ourselves in a position where we will never be content and happy about who we have become. Or who we are meant to be for that matter. Do we long to look like we did at sixteen and therefore set ourselves up for failure! What is the goal here? Is it working to get healthy and improve our lives and well being! Yes most definitely!!! We need to see ourselves as we are meant to be. Not what society dictates as normal today. Stick thin and then some! There is so much fat shaming out there and sadly it is accepted by many! If we buy into this thinking we will believe that our body type is not 'correct'. Therefore we may never see our true wonderful selves. The sacrifices we have made to change our lives such as changed personal and family relationships, even financial sacrifices. Not to mention the courage required to even take this step. Why should we allow society to dictate to us what we should look like. When we decided to have weight loss surgery our goals were to lose the excess weight so that we could become more active and live a better, more fulfilled life. While some of us end up ten or even twenty pounds below what was expected there is another group that have gone well beyond this. Some have traveled this journey and have not taken care to find who they are inside. They have gone beyond what was suggested by their surgeon and nutritionist. Their health has suffered because they did not see the beauty of who they were inside the outside coating. New addictions surfaced by following a rigid former failed diet along with the pressure of wanting to be like others we have seen in movies, magazines, friends or even relatives. Some of us have pushed ourselves to the brink of unhealthiness. Some keep carving and chipping away until there is nothing left to work with and the desired finish is not met. Going beyond what was necessary, to see just how small we can be or weigh can become the central point of our existence. Would it be possible to maintain this new life style? In most cases no. Setting ourselves up to fail again is not the answer to long lasting health benefits. Being balanced in everything will bring us good health. Not to mention the ability to do all the things we listed on that piece of paper stuck to the refrigerator or the goal weight we put down here in our profiles. When deep inside we thought we would never ever get to that goal. Right!? Learning to retrain our brains to see food as a form of nourishment, rather then a reward or a comfort for troubled times. We must learn the best way to feed our bodies so that we will reach our proper weight level resulting in sound health. So where does it end? When will we see ourselves as successful? When will we be able to say, “I finally got here and now I can maintenance it and enjoy the fruits of my labors.” When will it be okay to say, “I am happy with myself and proud of all I have accomplished?” We deserve to say it. We deserve to live it. We need to learn to enjoy the new us and look forward to what life has to offer us. So we can grab it, run with it and live it to the limit! When Michelangelo grew older he started to feel and see his mortality. That was when he sculpted the Rondanini Pieta. This was likely his last sculpture. It was never to be completed because Michelangelo carved it until there was not enough stone left. The legs and a detached arm remain from a previous stage of the work. As it is, the sculpture has an abstracted quality, in keeping with the 20th-century concepts of sculpture. So, may we never over sculpt our body's, suffering the results of it going far beyond who we were meant to be. Believing that there would never be a size that is right for us. We must find a place of contentment. Most of all we must see the beauty within ourselves as we travel this life as a successful weight loss surgery patient.

I wish you much luck and a speedy and healthy recovery @ArthurTower. You got this!

Don't change....I think you have the right to express your opinions as I do...We need each other. Don't over think your answers for two reasons. They may not come out the way you mean them or if you are always so agreeable. Even I would get tired of reading your replies....lol One time someone said something on here and I took it badly..I yelled at him via a reply. His reply back was to much testosterone for his liking and he disappeared for a while. After a while he came back and I was so glad to see him..I respect his views a lot! @@Recycled

Thank you so much for explaining your meaning. I can only guess since I don't know you personally. so it always helps when a person explains. that was sweet of you to post again. And you are so right..we all need compassion and tender loving care at times!

RJ- I am puzzled. How can someone tell you that you don't belong in a support group? Why would you take that feedback to heart? Of course you belong here. I know you have been through hell and back even though I don't understand why. What I also know is that state of mind and attitude are HUGE toward good health and healing. I don't know why it keeps happening, but it seems like every interaction you have iwth the medical field is fraught with negative and painful emotions. I realized you can't change THEM but you can change how you choose to feel about it, respond to it etc. I think you SHOULD consider some sort of counseling - and I don't mean talking to a shrink but perhaps learning some techniques like guided imagery or others that help enable your mind to help your body heal. It is a way of training your brain to bring in positive emotions and feelings which is healing over the stress and anxiety feelings that can make any of us sick. You always have a positive word for everyone. I hope you can find it for YOURSELF. I know that is easier said than done, but I also know it is possible. It was more about what advice I could offer that really upset me. Not about the advice others give me...Although it was implied that there is nothing anyone could say to help me either. I disagree with that and know I have received help and compassion from a lot of people here. So that is not even an issue for me... I got to thinking if that is the only thing I can talk about is a botched surgery then there is only a small number who can relate...So it got to me and I was upset. The Doctor saying I was a survivor not a success also bothered me. Because when I put that ticker down each time. I felt like I was winning and succeeding. I am seeing a lady who is helping me with my past and what that has done to me. I am hoping that she can help me let the past go. I have made changes but it is a slow go..Hard to change yourself when you are 56. I have said more then once that if I am not helping others I will go. WLS is my baby now. It is so important to me. It was a gift to breath life back into me and it did that. I live to aid and be there for others. Right now it is here on this forum. The medical field in this area. Well they are mostly against WLS. I am a reminder why I guess. They are quick to tell me that. I am only a tiny percentage. The majority do great but they are doing it on their own because there is no support for them here. It really P****S me off. And yet every time I try to push it I get the door slammed in my face. They only know about me because of my issues. Most of the patients don't talk about it. I was told not to talk about it. Not mention it and don't put myself out there. It is nothing to be proud of. Okay..I am not proud. I did what had to be done...And when that has been said to me I say back so who is there for all the WLS patients that are struggling? Who are helping them? Who listen to them?.....Who says you can do this?....NOT THEM that's for sure.....

I am so glad you are eating now. I am sure you are on your way. You will soon be able to look out for yourself and progress without more complications.....I am so glad for you hun. Complications are a horrible thing and you have taken them like a trooper....Amazing!