RJ'S/beginning

Wow this is a bucket full of trauma that you are dealing with. Being sexually assaulted is a life changer for anyone. It is not a simple matter to deal with and like anyone who suffers from an addiction, we go where we find the most comfort. And for us who suffer from the disease it is FOOD! I understand that the pressure has been enormous but eating junk is only going to stir up those cravings again and make it much harder for you to reach your goal. Failing is not an option here. You have to push forward to find the strength within yourself to deal with what has happened to you. Eating right with give your mind and body one less thing to worry about during this time. I know this must be very very hard and I am so sorry for your recent life changers. You have to remember you have come so far and there is only a goal in front of you and better health and well being. But and I say but...You have to get through this horrible event before it takes hold and changes you in ways you don't expect or want. Please work this out so you can put it behind you and not let it rule your life. He is not worth it. I am so sad that you have had this happen to you. It is an injustice that happens to women all over the world. The person who did this is weak and inhuman. Not a man at all. But a child wanting power over someone else. You need to look at him as he is a perpetrator and you the victim. No doubt in my mind this has a lot to do with your new found eating habits. Protect you. Look after you. You will be stronger if you do! Forward and back on track will help you feel more in control in a life right now that is out of control. My heart goes out to you. Sending hugs! Jane

I am almost 2 years out and still have big eyes. I have a cupboard full of items that I am going to eat...NOT! But I buy them anyway. I still go out to restaurants and order a full entree but my hubby takes the rest home for lunch the next day. He is finally putting the weight back on he lost while I was in the hospital. Look for me...I will never lose the addiction. It will always be so close by I will be able to touch it. I work on it every day. Don't be scared to try new things when you are ready. Slow and steady wins the race!

It is just another example of fat shaming. What a despicable thing to do. These people had no respect for the deceased. Who knows how they treated the body before they cremated it. I know I would keep a eye on that place and never send a family member there. Skinny or not. They are just cruel to say those things. A body should be treated with respect no matter the size. This cheeses me right off!

What you are feeling is different then most patients. It could be that your surgeon removed less of your stomach then others do. I know mine took out 85% of my stomach. Some remove 70-75%. But! And I say but. You are playing Russian Roulette with your surgery. There is a line of staples and tissue that holds the line in place. It is swollen right now and very tender. If you push it too much you can and might possibly cause a leak or rupture. If I were you I would follow the guidelines your surgeon or team has set out for you and be more careful with Water intake and other intakes at this point. I have no idea how it feels to be normal with WLS. I am one of those gals that hit the jackpot and have had nothing but complications since my surgery. So I know what it is like on the other side of the coin. Trust me, you don't want to be here. Take care of your sleeve and it will give you time to work out the reasons why you had surgery in the first place.

Is there no one from Saint John or surrounding areas. Closer then Fredericton I mean!

They are going to do one of 3 things. Either a Rue n Y or a by pass. Either will fix the problem. I know..been there done that! On to different complications now!

I use Biotin still at almost 2 years out. As a boost to my hair and in hopes that if another complication comes to me that I cannot eat for months. At least I have tried something to help my hair. Does that even sound logical. I don't know!

Relax and when you see the panic well up in you just before you go into surgery. Remember why you are doing this and what you are looking forward to and let it happen. You will start a new life of good health and well being! Also as you go a long write the non surgical victories down. You will be surprised how fast they start.

Your still at the healing stage. Your body is still trying to figure out what the "H" you did to it. And even though the meds have been mostly flushed from your body. You are still swollen and sore. You should not be weighing yourself so much. I weighed myself at Doctors appointments only during my weight loss time. I never had a gain, stall or a disappointment. It is not about numbers, it is about healthy life style changes and well being. The scale only sets you back by making you second guess what you are doing. You know the drill. You know what to do. Follow the plan and it will happen. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but you will get there. This is a life long change. Not a sprint or a race. It's a war one battle at a time!

I'm surprised. Usually they say that your taking the easy way out or move away from the table or just put the fork down. this friend is concerned in a backwards kinda way. You may want to remind him that this is a battle you have been fighting for a long time and that you are ready to take a personal stand and make a life long change. And most of all you want his support or you would not have shared something so personal with him. And then if that works then you are on your way if not a sucker punch to the belly should solve it all!

It only takes 300 calories a day to maintain a weight of 500 lbs. Because of our metabolism shutting down. Lack of exercise contributes and health also. it is when we add more Protein and proper caloric intake that the weight starts to come off as the metabolism starts to speed up again. That is why so many over weight people say. I don't know why I am so heavy I only eat one meal a day. It is a vicious cycle! You will have to eat more often and you will lose the weight. And because you are a male, most likely faster....

I watched a video on Ted Talks about a Doctor who criticized a woman who gained weight like you did because of Diabetes and insulin issues. Then it happened to him and he gained a lot of weight and struggled hard to get the weight off. He had a new view point on this kind of situation. You usually do when it happens to you right. I am glad that you know the risks. I knew that I could die. My surgeon made that very clear to me. But I had no idea about complications or how much I would change or what I would need to do to get here. I learned along the way and it is a good idea to research all that you can about the sleeve so that you are convinced 100% that it is right for you. I think you have made a good decision but I say that on the other side of the journey. Lost the weight. Still working on my thinking and life style!

Yes! No processed food! Your my kind of girl....lol I remember so well feeling like I was in am maze where I could not find my way out. I felt lost and confused after surgery. It was explained to me what I was supposed to eat. But I had no guide to follow. I started to try foods and some did not sit right while others like fish was my main go to food. In time you will find your way we all do. I eat very healthy. Using old world grains and mostly about 90% scratch made food. It is all trial and error to see what suits the new you. I find I like foods that I disliked before surgery and some that I died for stuff I don't go near. You will do the same. Thirty days out you are still healing and your system has taken a hit. You will recover and go forward. It is not the time to worry about skin being loose. That is a badge of honor for your hard work right now. Deal with WLS one day at a time. One hour at a time and one minute at a time. And you will reach your goal. Leave the other stuff for the future. Learn to retrain your brain and the body will follow. Hide the scale for now as well okay. You need to concentrate on getting better and stay the course and you WILL lose. All the best!

Everything you are feeling is normal. Good too. you understand the reality of your choice to have weight loss surgery. You also realize that you cannot keep going the way you are because your health will slip and fail you. It is being caught between a rock and a hard place. Choosing weight loss surgery is a last resort for all of us who have dealt with addiction to food. It is normal to be scared. I find it a little interesting that you look at Joan Rivers experience as a reason to fear this surgery. Because when Robin Williams died I went into a slump myself thinking what a waste of good talent and a funny man. He felt he had no way out of his issues. He fought and fought for years. And then gave into it. YOU are taking a stand for yourself and your families future. You want to be with your family and be there for your children. You need to be proud of yourself and strong because this is a life changer for the best. And it is work! Lots of work! You are not only going to lose the weight but you have some brain training to do to change your relationship with food. I think that you are ready to change your life and get on with it. I am proud of you for taking a stand to improve your life. I personally have gone through hell and back for this new life and don't regret it one little bit. I am finally living and doing the things I need to do. I can play with my grand daughter for hours and not tire out. She was a huge reason why I had weight loss surgery. Keep a journal and write out your emotions. Putting your feelings into words can be a great stress reliever. Then when you are on the other side which is most likely. Write down the changes in yourself. The non surgical victories. They are the amazing proof of change. Your going to do great! Hang in there. We are here for you as your support system like your wife and family are. I feel honored that you took the time to write to this forum and look to those who have been there or about to be there. You got this! You really do!

Went to the plastic surgeon yesterday and cried all the way through the appointment. i felt violated and it was not his fault. Pictures were taken of the grossness of my entire body and money kept coming up and what and what not he was not able to do for me. Insurance would only pay for a small portion of what I need done according to him. The rest is out of pocket. Which for me is out of the question. Everything in my life has gone out of control. The house has flooded. The bathroom toilet is broke and the washing machine died. I can handle all of these things but what I went through yesterday made me sick, really sick. Too know that I went through all of these troubles and there is no one who is willing to help me without big bucks in my pocket is horrible and somewhat demeaning. I feel like I have been sucker punched in the gut it hurts so much. I feel like I have no options but to maybe sell my home and move into a trailer but then I have to put thousands into my house to sell it because of the damage caused by the flood ( tiles broke and backed up right into the house). Extensive surgeries were mentioned along with the amount of work needed just to put contours into my body. I think he was saying I was gross and needed a lot of surgeries to fix me to look passable. I can't stop crying I need work done on my bed sore scar as well and the other surgeon can only do some as he thinks I still have sponge stuck in there from some student changing the gauze before I left the hospital over a year ago. I feel horrible and like the whole thing is way too much for me to handle. I should crawl away and look for a hole to climb into I am so gross....... I don't feel sorry for myself I just feel like I can't take any more of all that I am going through. Just putting it out there and if you think that I take delight in this I don't I just don't have anyone to share this with and maybe someone in the WLS world understands my sorrow!

Why have you chosen to go to Mexico. Id it the waiting list. I waited 4 years. If I had had the funds I would have gone somewhere else too. All the best to a fellow Canadian! @@Cher56

wow. You look great! Congratulations on your success!

Congratulations girl. You look beautiful!

Write them down when they happen. You will soon forget and it will help remind you how far you have come! Congrats girl!

I always have a 1/2 lara bar before workout and 1/2 after. Complex carbs make a complete Protein and so therefore will bring sugars back up. Don't do this starving thing too often because we are susceptible to reactive hypoglycemia.

Now there's a great reason to pick a surgeon. LOL Cute eh! Did I mention that when my surgeon smiles he lights up the room. He's shy but a cutie! Are we off topic! lol

Mine was the only Bariatric surgeon in the Province. So he had the WLS all sewn up. LOL Now there are three. But I would chose him again in a Carolina minute. He looked after me and cared when everything went hay wire. Did I mention the Maritime's are behind the rest of the country in this area. Oh well .He was there when I needed him and still is almost two years out!

You are so right. Life time struggle. Never ever going to totally beat it. It is like being an alcoholic. Once one always one. Day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. That is what addiction is all about. You know it your going to do great getting back to where you want to be.... Oh welcome back to the forum! It is always nice to see a vet return home!

You never forget these episodes @@playlikeworldchamps It is hard to get past them and move on to a new life. their faces are always there saying the hurtful words. But you are doing it. Your almost to your goal. Kicking Ass is a good feeling and it helps when you can tell them in your head to stick it where the sun don't shine! Good for you kid!

That is over 15 lbs a week. Come on you must know that your body is going to take exception to this fact and slow down if not stop to catch up. We are built to always compensate for what we do to ourselves or what happens to us in life. No matter what our eyes will always look to the horizon. The amazing machine we are will go into starving mode and will start to store fat feeling the body is in distress. After it feels safe you will start to lose again. Aren't we amazing creatures. LOL Stop weighing yourself every day or even once a week at this time. You have the rest of your life during maintenance to do that. For now follow the course and you will get there. Maybe not today or tomorrow but you will get there. Focus on why you got here and change your habits as you go through this journey. These are the things that will help keep those lbs off. This is a journey hun, not a race or sprint! This is the rest of your life!