RJ'S/beginning

There are enough a**holes in this world without adding another to the mix. I feel that you do need to express how you feel about things and be plain. But I also think that counting the cost of the damage will be the turning point for you. We all have so much pent up inside of us because of the abuse we took during our former lives. It has to come out some how. But is it worth it to be so forth coming. A choice to make! There are people that I no longer talk to or have dealings with because of my choice to have WLS. I lost them all. And I have not looked back. You are right. there is a lot more to this new way of life then losing weight. It is an emotional, physical and mental change. Don't let yourself become someone you can't live with. Make this a positive life change for you.

It would also be a great idea to get some coconut Water no pulp and drink some as it is a natural hydrator. Or some G2 Gatorade.. or mineral water...All good got dehydration. :0

PLEASE....do me 2 favors. First put that scale away. You are setting yourself up for numbers being the main issue here. Which it is not. Your health is and so it would be less sabotaging if you weighed once a month for now! Second take four lbs of butter. Place them on your counter. Stack them up and then lift them up. That is the weight you lost in one week. Not to shabby if you ask me...It is not a matter of losing slowly or fast or like Jill or Jim. This is your life, your body and you will lose according to how your body responds. For now concentrate on getting better and letting your body heal. there is a lot of stuff in your system that is working its way out..Your body will protect itself until it can no longer. If you see it that way...Well your right on course...

Thank you hun..

Thank you both

We get to a point where we give in and think that we have reached the bottom of our life. There is nothing left and we think there is nothing for us out there to help or offer us an option to turn our lives around. But through gentle words and in the form of encouragement by family, friends and the medical field we learn about Bariatric Surgery. We are offered a tool that can assist us to find a new path to good health and well being. A fear builds deep within us but we know inside that this is the only option left. This is make or break it time and we have no where else to go. We see our mortality and the future looks dim. We are willing to do what it takes to find ourselves on the other side which offers a new life without food addiction. We can't even imagine how that would feel to be thin and in good health. Finally having the real control of our future and our lives. Not being the object of well intentioned or intentional comments or opinions that hurt so deep we feel wounded and or scarred for the rest of our days. But it is not to be. We have an option. A gentle breeze overcomes us as we realize we do have an option. We do have a future. One that will keep us around long enough to enjoy the rest of our lives as the person we always wanted to be. Being able to watch our children grow up and then the grandchildren. Not to mention doing all the things you thought you would never do. Making a bucket list of experiences you want to have and places you want to go. Not to mention the effects this new and improved you will have in a positive way with your family and friends, work acquaintances and yes even strangers. This is the gentle breeze of realization that is engulfing your spirit and giving you hope for a better life ahead. When does the thunder roll in the distance to threaten this new found peace you are experiencing? When you realize that it will take real effort on your part to accomplish this. When you take the time to really start changing how you view food and figure out why you used food as a comfort in good times and in bad. We are conditioned to believe that food plays a much bigger roll in our lives then simply giving us the proper nutrients to keep our bodies in good working order. By well meaning parents who told us how it was so important to clean our plates to the diet industry that makes millions off of failed diets. The false comfort in the form of food related slogans that advertising companies use to make us think that food equals happiness. That food is the backbone of our lives. Here are a few. Help yourself to happiness – Golden Coral Come hungry, leave happy – IHOP Unwrap a smile – Little Debbie's Comfort in every bite – Mars Bar Life tastes better with KFC – Kentucky Fried Chicken Little nuggets of joy- McDonald's Chicken McNuggets Double your flavor,double your fun – Double Mint Gum Feels like home – Sarah Lee Get your smile on – Lay's And on and on, teaching us that food is the answer to all our woes and will bring us happiness. But we know from our own personal experiences that this is not the case. And yet we battle these feelings of needing food as the drug of choice to fulfill in us an emptiness every single day. We find ourselves reverting back to the habits that has brought us momentary relief only to find that it did not help at all. This is the thunder that we all experience in our journey. The fight to stay on course and not give into the heavy winds and booming sounds of habit or the artificial comfort of using food to make us feel better. We are in a war. We will win a battle at a time. We will get there. Maybe not today or tomorrow but we will control this disease. Weight loss surgery is our tool to learn new life long habits and choices that will once again bring the gentle breeze of hope and then success.

I bet there is a lot of things you were not before you started this journey and so much has changed for you in the way you see yourself and food. It is all part of a big picture of getting healthy. Water helps to lubricate your body and since we are over 90% water, it is essential. I know you can do this...Water is not the worst thing you could be struggling with. When I was researching WLS I followed this lady who was shy but honest about her journey. I wish she still posted I would love to know where she is today. Anyway I digress. She had an issue with M n M's. She would suck off the candy coating and then spit them out. She could not stop it. Tried everything. I don't know to this day if she ever licked it.( pardon the pun!) But to me, that was her hardest part. Water is natural, we need it. you can increase your intake a little at a time and you will get there. Just keep some with you all the time. I take aa bottle where ever I go and it helps remind me now as I no longer enjoy the taste of it....

Oh trust me it is not hunger you feel. But most likely gas. You have had major surgery and your tummy is swollen and raw. liquids is all you can handle at this time. When you do change from liquids to mushy you will feel a difference. It will be difficult to get much in as you will feel full with a couple of bites. Then to solids. There is the part that you will really feel the difficulty to get in your 60 g of Protein at first. It will be a struggle it is for most of us. Then you will get signs that you are full and learn how your own body reacts to foods and amounts of food. I know when my nose runs and I start to sneeze to push the plate away. If I eat one more bite I pay for it dearly. This is the honeymoon period I am talking about where you really learn to read your body. Follow your teams guidelines and you will learn to recognize when you are hungry and when it is habits returning or something else. it takes time.....You got this!

Most of the time I was very successful with my water intake. I am able to drink a 30 oz container of flavored water in 15 min now. I also drink G2 Gatorade 1/2 and 1/2 with water once a day to help keep the electrolytes up. This insures me that even now I will not get dehydrated. I have learned that coconut water is a natural hydrator. So I also keep that on hand..No pulp in mine...yuck! It is difficult to do it at the beginning. I used hot water and lemon as well. Lemon water and fruit water. It is hard some days even now as I get busier then I was before but during the period where I was losing the most I just bought 2 containers that were 32 oz each and made sure I drank them even if it took until midnight... Before surgery I was drinking about 2 lltres a day maybe more. And after hated the taste of water. Still do at times. So I added strawberries, kiwis or lemons stuff like that to make it tastier. By the way, it takes time to get it all in order. It is difficult to do everything right throughout this journey. Don't be too hard on yourself. It will become habit and then your body will crave it. Then you will reach for water instead of anything else. It is when you reach goal that you forget certain rules and let go a little. Me I am working to stay focused all the time. Forever seems like forever. But I am still learning and changing.

That incision is also where they pulled your stomach out. It is a little hole to handle both things. You had major surgery. You are going to hurt even when that incision is healed over and feels better because we have to also heal on the inside. The skin alone has 3 layers that has to heal. there are no minor surgeries. And so it takes time to heal. Turning or bending or lifting things can put a strain on it. and all the incisions for that matter. I guess it depends on how well you treat yourself whether the pain subsides quickly or not. Also there will be scar tissue. The body always forms scar tissue. You want that minimal as it will pull on other parts of your body and also cause discomfort. So take it easy for now and if you have Tylenol take some for the pain. And let yourself heal....Doctor is out now... I am not a doctor that was a joke. lol

In a few days I will be 2 years out as well. There are days that I could eat the moon. Not joking. Then days where I can barely get anything down at all. It is difficult to do it all right 100 % of the time. Impossible for sure. But we have to keep it under control. A 1 lb gain will turn into 2 then 5 then 10. And before we know it we will be part of the 30% that gained it back after paying such a huge price for our health and well being. There are a few things you can do to bring it around. One have a number that you can live with as a gain and then push the panic button on it at that point. So this means weighing every week. I never did before goal but now I do and I have a 5 lb measure that I stop and return to my basics until the weight goes down again. This morning I was up 5 lbs. And so today I started to pull the reins in and go back to eating no refined sugar and mostly Protein. Water I can neglect easily. Bad me! I drank more of it today and will work on it until the 5 are gone again. Go back to measuring the 1 cup size and protein first, then veggies, fruit and last but not least carbs. I believe that we need carbs in our diet esp. Complex carbs which make a complete protein. Get out side and walk and start really moving again and revisit all the reasons you did this in the first place. That is what I do and no one is perfect. This will be a war until our last breath. But we can win battles....Keep a little fear of failure in front of you and it will spur you to action.....I think sometimes we forget how hard we worked to lose even the smallest amount of weight. We are worth it. We are worth keeping it off. We are worth having a better life. You deserve it all as well. Don't forget that! Put a plan in place for when this happens and follow the plan. You got this!

It sounds like the cool kids are ignoring you. Like in high school..lol. Look, are you still in contact with the former girls who you were comfortable with? If you are develop those friendships and just do your job. Things change in a snap and some people just don't want to be friends. They could be transferred soon as well. If you like what you do then do it and work to build relationships with new people . There are millions of people out there looking for a good person for friendship. It is not the race card. That is so over used. It is they look at you as their superior and that they cannot cross that line. So be it. They are happy where they are. Now you on the other hand are not. A transfer might be the answer but then you may find your self in a worse place. You sound like a really caring, nice person. I would be your friend if I was there. For sure!

So normal to feel like you feel. So normal to finally make this decision. so normal to feel sick and panicky over the unknown. Normal to get to the hospital and want to flee for fear of what might happen and how you will have to change so much and work very hard to accomplish your goals. It is not the easy way out but a brave thing to recognize that you need a tool to help you. But that does not stop the what ifs from coming up in an fury. I did not feel any of those things. I could not wait and went head long into everything thinking this was the way to go. I told them when I was wheeled into the OR ' lets get this show on the road' well..the rest is history. You can fear and cry and feel anxiety over this..It is okay...It is what it is...But and I say but....You will travel a journey, a road to health and well being and be there for your family and other loved ones. Let the anxiety pass through you do not fight it. It is part of this journey. But keep going in the healthy direction. You got this!

Thank you your pretty awesome yourself.....

Spent the day in emerg yesterday. Pain still under my left rib cage. All tests said I was good except there is still some Fluid in my abscess but not enough to worry about..Okay we will see! That is not what got me. The attending physician asked me if I had Bariatric surgery. I said yes and he said so this abscess has been here a while then. I said yes. Then he looked me up and down and asked when I had the surgery. I said almost 2 years ago...Hardly got the words out when he said, 'how much did you lose?' I said 211 lbs. He replied, 'ummm not bad I guess.' in a drone voice.... What the H*ll! I was gob smacked. I did not expect him to do a dance of joy but it would have been nice if he had at least said how do you feel about that. Or are you happy you have lost that much. What would have been the magic number to get him to say terrific... What a idiot!

Your funny....lol

The new photo is beautiful. Where have you been Roo. I think about you now and then you know! I see your still walking the walk and talking the talk. Congrats yourself girl..The weight you have lost is no sneeze either. Congrats. Hey stick around hun. Love hearing your comments you know! Thanks for the kind words...

It is important that you get the best bang for your buck so to speak. When you eat and drink at the same time it dilutes your food and it opens the flap at the bottom of your stomach and the food more liquid will slide out of your stomach and into your intestines. The stomach has its work to do. It starts the digestion process and then it moves it on to the small intestine to do more digesting, and so on. The only exception to this for me is Cereal. Some us use yogurt and others eat it Protein drinks. I use milk. It is a good habit to not drink with your meals or even Snacks unless your snack is liquid. Now I have heard of some who drink with their meals. But I don't suggest it.

I want a Jaguar too but that is not happening either. It is what it is. PUT THAT scale AWAY! Stop the incessant weighing it will only lead to self sabotage. Everyone is conditioned to look at numbers. It is not numbers. It is how you feel. would you feel so bad if you were not looking at the numbers but were excited about the changes that are happening in your life. The things you can do now that you could not do before. The control you are showing with your ex ( comfort food ) Your body will stall. It is called body at rest. Your body is going through big changes. Still healing and needs time to adjust....PATIENTS hun.......When your body is ready it will drop the weight. It will do it on your time not Joan's or Jane's. Yours.

Dried apple crisps. Skinny popcorn. Measure out the 3 cups and there you go. However this will not solve the issue of grazing. But one thing at a time right. I have the most trouble at night. It seems that that is when I get my most blood sugar attacks. I am working so hard to find high Protein low calorie food for then. It is difficult to learn what is best for that. However changing your brain will change your body...Water, lots of Water as well....it can fill you up as well. okay!

Actually I have known some pretty nice ER docs myself in the past and my daughter has a few that are friends of hers as well....All changed when I had WLS. It is like some horrendous thing happened that they cannot fathom. What it comes down to is that they are not prepared to look after us. And they are not taught enough about emotional, and mental changes and so ill equipped to handle us. Me I much prefer the older Doctors who have learned fellow feeling with experience. Some of these new out of the gate Doctors have giant ego's. if you don't treat a human being kindly when they are putting their lives in your hands at any time any where then they aren't worth sh*t.

I know. I have a friend who has had similar circumstances. We are like a duel night mare. I feel so bad for my team. 2 out of over 700. What are the odds. My surgeon has me on some pretty strong stuff now so that an ulcer won't happen either. I worry the poor guy is going to have a nervous break down dealing with the 2 of us. Different complications but same surgery....

I did make a stink another time and got the head nurse transferred to another floor...It took a lot of convincing and the staff assisted in it as well. But this guy. I think he was wanting to hear 20 lbs. But when it was 211, I think he was taken back and said something dumb. I also think that he was processing it the entire time I was there. But did not say anything more. It did stick with me that he made it sound like nothing but then that is really his problem not mine. He is a new doctor like all the others that get their time in emerg so they can finish their training and go on to be just another one who does not have an answer for those who suffer from this disease. It is sad really. Because there is not one doctor so far that has given me the time of day here to help when I have needed to find out if I should head back to my surgeon....They help in the medical part but then they fluff me off...... I would love to do my part to change this conduct but it is like talking to walls. Or a dirty secret we need to keep in the closet. I am so confused by the way the medical field acts around this province. I can't do it alone. I just can't. But no one is talking. No one wants to come out of the weed work to make things better. It is so hard!

You would need a gang..lol

Well I have mentioned it on the boards before. At 18 months I got another leak. Which is more common to those who get a Rue n Y procedure. The leak caused an abscess and I had a drain put in and now the CT scan showed the abscess still has Fluid in it but not enough to do me harm.....go figure eh!