RJ'S/beginning

A lot of us suffer from OCD so a lot of things are connected together...I look at each thing as a struggle to get over or get rid of....I was out the other day and almost lost my slacks at the thrift store...That is when my daughter said that's it..Those pants are going....I wonder if I am finally afraid of being thin and I feel safe in my 18 pants.....

Last night my daughter took 3 pairs of my size 18 pants and got rid of them...I went nuts...They are way to big but they were mine and I loved them...It was hard for me to let them go... Do I want to be a size 18 ...NO...so what was the issue...The issue is that I liked them a lot.....now I have size 15 pants and don't feel as comfortable in my skin wearing them.....First I'm too fat and can barely buy clothes at all..And now I am having trouble getting rid of the clothes as I drop sizes....So weird!!!!!!!! I should Celebrate each new event in my life....good gracious!!!!!!!!

I would ask her if she has ever had a weight problem...just because it is her job does not mean that she really knows the struggles obese people (hate that word) go through. i always wonder what is really going on in their heads.... Wouldn't we all like to be helped by people who know what we feel and the struggles we go through....

When I had my consult with my surgeon he asked me several times what would be the worst thing that could happen to me...I did not answer him at first but he insisted that I did...Finally I said okay, I might die...He said yes that is the true answer...nothing is 100% in this life and it happens...I just want you to know the true risks of what you are doing... I walked away thinking big deal..That won't happen to me...Then it almost did...1 year ago I was still in a coma at this time..I almost died. They told my husband that they did not know if I would survive... Looking back at my choice I felt I was not living then and if the worst thing happened what was the difference..I felt like the walking dead...It does not make the situation better knowing you have that risk....But at least I was informed and went through with it....Others a small number have died for this......Everything in life is a risk we take!! It makes everyone feel devastated when it happens to one of our fellow sleevers....I know I just feel awful for this beautiful lady and her family and friends.......

Your body may settle out at the weight you are now....Just because you have never weighed 130 does not mean that you ever will....Some push the envelope and get there but they can't maintain it...They gain it back until their body stops at the right for you weight. Has your Doctor told you where you need to be....I am trying so hard not to become obsessed with my weight loss...I fear that I may keep losing or gaining..Both scare me to death.... I also know that my body is going to stop where it is comfortable not my dream of being 140 or a size 8....You have lost a lot of weight and your BMI is 25...wow....You must be excited for the new you... Sometimes when we spend our time worrying about those last few lbs. It can seem like forever to get rid of them....You have done amazing and I am impressed.....

I am so sorry for your loss.....On here you do hear the wonderful success stories of WLS and it is rare to hear of someone barely surviving it or even passing away due to circumstances of this surgery...But it does happen and I feel like others that the story needs to be told...That all should know what can and may happen..And make sure that you are willing to allow the worst possible scenario if you decide to do this...It is a life changing situation.... Your sister was lovely...my heart goes out to her husband and children and all your family and friends.....

Good for you...That is a difficult thing to do and yet you did it...the stress of having the accident combined with your children being in the car...What you have been doing to prepare for surgery...WOW you should be very proud of yourself....I know I am in awe of your fortitude........

just go to my profile and you will see me at the start of this incredible journey!..K

Finally figured out to to upload a new photo of me showing my last 30 lb loss... Here it is....be nice now..I know I still look really fat around the middle!

Please tell me that it is not the titanium staples that are causing me to be Xrayed at the airport....On the way to my brothers and on the way back I was treated like a criminal...They had no patients they ordered me to step aside and either be bodily searched or xrayed...I asked what the difference was and they said that one is more demeaning then the other...I chose to be xrayed.... Mind you ...I had no metal on at all...no shoes...not even my wedding rings... My hubby got through both times with out a hitch....If I go through this every time it is going to be a huge pain!!!! The upside of the airplane is I did not have to get an extension for my seat belt and the table came down with room to spare....Now that was exciting!!!!!!!!

I hope you look better kiddo!!!!!!!!!!

I know about thinking about the outcome instead of the journey...We are all so excited about it being our turn to succeed with WLS that most of us never think of the journey...I know now that the journey is long and full of uncertainty regarding the day to day struggles of the ups and downs of fixing the real problems that caused us to depend on food as our support system.... I am so glad for your comments as regards the encouragement that was given here...Your a trooper and you will get it together.....To be in fear is a good thing really because you will never take it for granted....Share your journey with your loved ones as you become an example for them to lean on even in other things in life besides weight gain or loss.... Depression is something that is as unique as the individual who suffers from it...It takes time for the meds to really settle into your system and for the results of the strain from going into the depression to pass or get better even a little or a lot depending on you.... Use what you can to get through this part of the journey...Find the inner strength that I know you can muster and if you need extra help we are here for you...message me if you need to...k.. You got this kid...Your soon going to get through this and see the changes and the reasons why you did such a drastic thing and be happy you did.... Give out extra hugs and kisses tonight and make them count....K

Your the little engine that could.......up the hill and over the bend....you got this..........you really do!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so last night my hubby put a fire on in the wood stove and soon we could small this unfamiliar small. We then noticed that the chimney was on fire and my hubby then called the fire department to see if there was a way for him to get it out.... They sent 3 trucks, sirens and lights going all the way down our little street and woke all the noisy neighbors up. I grabbed one of my hubby's coats and went outside and leaned against the garage door as they started to come down the driveway. Hoses, extinguishers and ladders started showing up along with 10 firemen. They busily took care of business and the chief came over to me and told me all was okay and not to worry...I said that's good and I stayed in my place while they climbed onto the roof and sprayed Water and extinguishers down our chimney. While leaning on the garage door I reached into my husbands pocket and pulled out 4 Halloween chocolate bars.... I did not even give it a second thought and downed all 4 in about 2 seconds....I realized what I had done after as I started to feel sick as a dog...I looked at my hands and there was the empty wrappers as evidence of my crime.... So easy, so fast....I showed my husband and he laughed and said lucky you, you at least got chocolate....I once again stared in disbelief at the wrappers in my hands.... I can't believe how close to the surface my addiction to food is still here. I wonder if I will ever get a hold of it...Not using food as a comfort for troubles... As a side note!!!!!!! Firemen are so hot when they are in uniform.....That was the good part of all of it....dang!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you gamergirl.....

Got yah!!!!!!!!!lol

My highest was 380...one year ago.........176 down and counting!!!!!!!!!! I am so proud of me...giggle, giggle!

One year out Nov. 6th..176 lbs down and pushing toward my goal.....It has been a long hard year for me bbut I feel better then I ever have in 25 years....Wish I could have done this 5 years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You look amazing by the way..congrats to you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lets see here.....I have been married for 35 years to the same man..Ups and downs we have had plenty..just like every one else. 2012 and 2013 have been the years from hell for us...This surgery changed my life completely....My husband was there the entire time for me as I have cried, screamed, pouted, threw up, had emotional outbursts, and the times that I really hated his guts because he like your husband can eat anything and does.... These things that you are going through are not just about you! You are deciding to act on the temporary change in emotions, hormones and fear of the now and the future. It is a change for both of you. He has to get used to the ever changing wife that he has had for 15 years too. All that you are experiencing is normal with such a huge change in your life forever. Nothing is going to ever be the same again. Ask yourself; What was the reason you had this surgery in the first place...I see your forum name is time4me and I understand that but in reality it is about your entire family. When times get tough and they do and are and will as you know, nothing is perfect. You need to draw close and hang on tight to the man and family you love. Your children are watching how you are dealing with this situation and believe me they are scared as well, maybe as much as you are over all the changes....Hubby is more likely confused..why? Because no matter how ready for this change everyone thinks they are it is never a clear cut situation... I know myself...I had the idea it would be a hop, skip and a jump for me but it was not. It tested every aspect of my life and my families. Instead of pulling apart we clung together as it we were freezing to death on a frigid winters night, and rode the worst of it out. My family surprised me at how well they supported me and no matter what happened they were there. I love my husband more now then I did before because of how he stood up to the crisis. He was totally bewildered by my circumstances and I could have treated him like he did not matter but I could see the concern in his face and I fell in love with him all over again because I looked at him instead of myself and worried about what he was going through as well as me. Giving and thinking of others instead of ourselves is the best treatment for this kind of depression... I will not lie to you, what is happening to you is normal. The ups and downs of body changes, emotions and fears are enough to make anyone want to scream and run away. Is that what you want to do, alienate your family over something that is just going to make your life and theirs better if you let it happen. I certainly am not implying that what you are feeling is not real because it is real. But like everything else in life you have to temper it and deal. My husband and I have a code now. I just say I am not feeling well and he knows not to push anything. I am learning to let that be the answer instead of me losing it and feeling horrible about it later like you are now.. I know you still love your husband and family and this bad time is going to pass as all the others do... The benefits will really outweigh everything that is happening now. Thank you for being so honest and reaching out for help. I am sad for your struggle but encourage you to keep your goal in mind and why you decided to have WLS and start dealing with your issues... Pull your family together and work as one to get where you all need to be....Give and take all the love you can...K

I am so glad things are going well for you....You have so much to look forward to....Happy journey newbie...

I would like to see how you are coming along..I went to your profile and found nothing about you at all....Come on....You too can inspire others..I know you can..

Thank you for your kind words...I guess you never know how people are going to see you..I saw the pictures and thought crap I have so much more to do!!! The brain thing is always rearing its ugly head!

Your incision heals from the inside out...You have layers in there and that is how it really works so even if it looks healed on the outside it takes time for the tissue to heal on the inside...... Please look after that incision....when it is healed finally use caster oil on it and it will soften the scar and make it less red....I had open incisions for 11 months because of tubes....It gets better...Take it easy eh......

Failing is not an option.............Fabulous sounding statement....go girl!!!!!!!!

The pre-op diet does have a benefit..It shrinks your liver which makes it much easier for your surgeon to do the WLS...A clamp holds your stomach up and out of the way so that the surgeon can work on the stomach. If the stomach slips then it would be a disaster..There was a time when a person help it up but today there is a small clamp and it is placed in there...That is one of the main reasons why the liver is shrunk....The shakes also detoxe your body to make it a bit easier for you to go into post op. Some doctors don't require anything before surgery others do. If your surgeon requires it then it probably would be a good idea to tell him/her what has happened....they will not cancel for long.... This is one of the most difficult things that you will ever do....But sooooooooo worth it I promise you!!!!!