msdrea24

Hello, My name is Andrea from New Jersey. had my VSG done in September of 2012. At my largest, I was 250lbs. In less than a year post op, I went down to 165lbs. I felt that I looked good! I could fit into so many cute outfits without feeling ashamed of how I felt in my body. Health-wise, it was a bit more complicated. Between my “water-nausea”, not being able to drink and eat at the same time, needing to take vitamins everyday, feeling sick after enthusiastically eating my favorite foods, and then, of course getting gall stones and needing my gallbladder removed in 2013, my VSG came with a lot of mixed feelings. Nevertheless, I was happy to feel like I looked good and have the energy that came along with that. Fast forward to February of 2017, I find out I’m pregnant with my first child. At that point, I had been able to maintain a steady 165-170 lbs. At 36 weeks, I went into labor and subsequently had my daughter a month before her due date. On the day I gave birth, I weighed 200lbs. I thought it was normal. The few days following the birth of my baby girl, I actually went down to 180lbs. Not exactly where I wanted to be, but at the time I thought my body would go back to 165-170lbs. ....Boy was I wrong. My daughter was born in September of 2017. In the winter months, specifically January, February and March of 2018 my daughter was diagnosed with RSV, Influenza Type A, and Metapneumovirus, respectively. My husband and I spent many days in the hospital with her.... stressing, worrying, sad, not getting paid time off (in my case), and, of course.....eating. During this time is when I believe my body began to turn on me. Today, I weigh 209lbs. I went from a size 8 to a 14, I feel that I have less energy, and I know that I’m unhealthy. I seem to have regained an almost insatiable hunger fueled by my constant anxiety and stress. Not to say that I didn’t suffer from these things before, but honestly, I don’t know what has changed exactly that doesn’t allow my body to metabolize quicker and keep the pounds off. I need help, but I’m scared of the actual work of exercising and eating better, because even though in theory, it sounds pretty simple, let’s be honest, those things require a great amount of inner strength and discipline. Just trying to figure out if I can actually do that creates a significant amount of anxiety, stress and, thus ultimately makes me want to eat. That’s the way I find comfort, the way I shut up that voice on the inside. Prior to having my baby girl, I could literally eat whatever the eff’ I wanted, and if I made a minuscule change to my diet, I would lose weight immediately. That’s no longer the case. Nowadays, I feel more like I used to pre-op, and that makes me feel very depressed. I don’t fit in like 95% of my old clothes and I’m slowly but surely needing bigger and bigger sizes. A few months ago, I followed up with my bariatric surgeon to see if there was anything that could be done. He prescribed Topiramate, so I wouldn’t get hungry at night. (It doesn’t work). My other doc prescribed Zoloft (for depression), Bupropion (for weight loss and depression), and Klonopin (for anxiety). Nothing’s really changed. I want to have another baby (hopefully) in a year or two, and I have strongly toyed with the idea of a revision immediately after that. For now though, I don’t feel mentally strong enough to change my circumstances, but I pray that side of me will eventually change, along with my circumstances. Blessings to you all in your journey too 😌 Any kind advice and/or your own stories welcome. ❤️

Dear September Sleevers: I feel like I'm here for a confession..lol. To recap, (lol), I was sleeved on Sept. 17, 2012. I started at 245lbs. and am down to 178lbs....from a size 16/18 to a size 8/10/12 (depending on the pants) lol. So, I am currently home post-op from a gallbladder removal surgery due to gallstones. Apparently, gallstones are a common side effect for people that lose a lot of weight rapidly. =( .. The excruciating pain began a little over two months ago. It came like spells taking over my upper abdomen and upper back and making it really hard for me to breathe in addition to elevating my body temperature, getting sweaty and nauseous. =( So, finally after 2 hospital visits and no answers and an outpatient procedure of removing an ovarian cyst (that doctors thought was causing the pain), on my 3rd hospital ER visit, an ultrasound was conducted and it revealed gallstones. =( So, other than being sore, I'm looking forward to not havin anymore ridiculously unnecessary pain. ......Lol. Yeaaaa riiiigght, I still have this sleeve. A blessing and a curse. ...I have been fluctuating between 175lbs and 183lbs for the past 3 months or so. ...THIS ISH IS EFFIN DIFFICULT. Here's my laundry list of complaints: 1. I love food but food doesn't love me. 2. I get full ridiculously quick when I sit down to have a meal, but somehow snacks go down very easily. 3. I can start eating a meal....get full, nauseous, unable to breathe regularly....but then wait 10-20 minutes and am able to get the rest down little by little, including bread. Smh. (By the way, "little-by-little" doesn't mean an hour, it's more like an additional 10-20 minutes. ....makes you wonder. 4. Having to explain to people why I eat so little when I'm clearly still overweight. Lol. 5. Not liking to exercise... No, scratch that, hating exercise at times, because while my body has changed, my mind is still that of a cheese, chocolate, bread, bacon and candy loving chubby kid at mind and heart. Lol. What the hell am I to do?... The OR nurse at my last gallbladder removal procedure asked me if I was happy with my sleeve... I answered, sometimes. =/

Hi Fellow September Sleevers! It's been a while since I last posted. On the 17th, it will have been 8 months since my surgery. I commenced at 245lbs and am currently at 180lbs... which I am super thankful to God for! HOWEVER, for the past several months, I must confess, that I have been eating everything my heart desires or more like I've been eating everything my "anxiety hunger monster" has wanted me to eat to relieve just that...my anxiety. (Chocolate, potato chips, bread, regular cheese, fruit by the foot (don't ask..lol) regular ice cream, rice, just to name a few)... I have been taking Cymbalta for generalized anxiety disorder for almost a year now and I remember sharing with my surgeon and nutritionist that my anxiety was one of my main reasons that at my peak I weighed 245lbs. NOW, don't get me wrong, for the past several months it almost feels like I've been living that impossible wish I used to wish back at 245lbs... "Why can't I just eat whatever I want and not gain a pound?"... Thus far, it's been pretty amazing, but I must admit that even though I am living in this most fortunate situation currently, I know eventually this will all bite me on the ass. The reality of my day-to-day is that I obsess that everything is going to make me fat, that I'm gonna end up being 245lbs again and that I will always resent myself for being so close to my goal weight of 165lbs, for sacrificing so much pre-op and post-op for about 3 months... and now I'm just letting myself go!!! I'm so incredibly sad and I only know how to make myself happy with the one thing I can control and that is what I eat; food, my drug to make me feel better when all else is out of my hands. For reference, since February of this year, I have applied to 20 law schools of which I've been rejected by damn near all of and am waiting to hear from 4 still. I am currently working in a job place that I loathe, in addition I recently had to put a complain with the Dept. of Labor, Division of Human Rights for harassment and discrimination. I am currently looking for a new job; that in itself is a job. I got dumped by my boyfriend in January and have had a string of shitty encounters with a few men that were more like frogs. Lol ... and well, I guess the worst of all is that I realized that I don't truly completely love myself and perhaps my circumstances aren't as bad as I think but my shitty self-esteem doesn't allow me to look past all of it and be positive and optimistic. Basically my whole outlook is fucked up. I digress though, I'm totally scared to gain weight at all even if it's one pound, I stress eat not so good things to compensate but then I end up hating myself even more. It's a vicious cycle. Believe me when I say that I am so thankful for this tool (my new tummy)... I just really need to learn how to love it, love me and take care of both of us. Btw, I used to go to the gym, but recently I was diagnosed with some type of vertigo and when I get agitated physically, I get super lightheaded and dizzy. =( ... (and no I'm not no where near being pregnant) lol Most of you will probably not read this whole post, but if you did, thank you. I pray for us all. Please share if you've dealt with similar situations like mines. Thanks and Good Night.

Hi Everyone, My name is Andrea and its been a while since the last time I posted on this site. My surgery took place on Sept. 17, 2012. I was 245 lbs. a week pre-op, 235 lbs. the day of surgery and as of today, I am 193 lbs. I tend to usually just read all of your posts as support to what I've been going through but recently I've been meaning to post about my current post-op issues. First, I want to say that I eat everything that I want. Since my 8 week marker, I have allowed myself to lay off the protein shakes and just eat whatever it is that I crave. Of course due to my limited tummy, I don't eat more than a few bites of anything, but still I have eaten everything from popcorn to chocolate, to any meats, ice cream and rice. NOW, there are a few disclaimers I should state... bread, pasta and rice are very difficult to get down and I don't eat them often at all. I don't tend to eat many sweets, but as of late, I have been getting this aching for soda.. and finally, as part of my everyday diet, I take One a Day gummy vitamins, B-12 gummy vitamins, gummy calcium, an iron tablet and a biotin tablet. I do not however drink or take anything special for protein. I feel worried FOR THE MOST PART though, because even though I exercise almost everyday for about 30minutes, I'm super scared to gain weight. I mean, psychologically, gaining weight worries me all the time. I try to comfort myself by saying that I'm only eating little bits of food and that's okay and I don't eat all the same things everyday, BUT my surgeon told me to make an appointment with the NUT that had seen me pre-op and post-op until 8 weeks, BUT all I know is that my former NUT is super judgmental and she scowls at me as of I were a bad child when I tell her what I eat at times... And I mean like, she got pissed at me one time because I told her I ate cheesy eggs with with regular cheese and not low fat cheese... Geez.. Smh. Well, my personal opinion is that most NUTs are judgmental, they want us to eat what they want only and scowl at the idea that we are human and we might want to eat whatever we want even if its not an everyday thing. Also, I don't know about you ladies but I used to enjoy eating pre-op, I loved everything about food and I don't mean just high fatty fast foods (I don't tend to eat those at all) I mean like just really good food like a well made pasta with veal or olive oil with French bread. ::sigh::: idk. Eating is a chore. Please reply to me if you have experienced any of this. Please tell me I'm not alone. Oh, and I am losing weight regularly... about 1-2 lbs a week. But I don't contribute that to exercising, I just figure we're still in the ketosis stage. Follow me on MyFitnessPal: msdrea2425

Hi Everyone! So it has definitely been a while since the last time I shared. I am 26 days out... 4 weeks to be exact on Monday. A week prior to surgery I weighed 245 lbs., the day of surgery I weighed 234 lbs and as of last Monday I weighed 219 lbs. I am 15 lbs. lighter since surgery and wildly confused about my latest eating experiences. For the first two weeks, I was basically on all fluids, Soups, Protein shakes, sf popsicles and Water was not well tolerated at all. After my two week follow-up appmt with the surgeon and the NUT I was cleared to eat "pureed" foods. I was given the green light on lots of different types of food, except rice, bread, Pasta, and other "carbs" that my NUT didn't think would help my supposed "high protein diet" that included Beans, oatmeal, Cereal, cooked carrots, corn and potatoes. Also, she said no to creamed soups, because they have too many preservatives or additives. I tried to be good and so far I've been cooking almost every night pretty healthy meals including baked skinless chicken with veggies including carrots and corn (lol), baked salmon with veggies, ground beef with red, green peppers, small pieces of potatoes, onions, sour cream and shredded cheddar cheese, parmesan crusted- pan seared salmon fillet and veggies and soups including creamed soups. For fluids, I am still having the "stuck" feeling with water and yet sf popsicles are super easy to eat and my personal favorite drink green tea with unsweetened lemonade and two splendas goes down super easy as well. Plus, since I commute to New York City for work Monday through Friday, I walk about 30 minutes at day at a fast pace (in other words, that is my exercise)...Lol Soooo, for the most part I stay on track not eating those "no no foods" however, lately it seems like I've been more relaxed with the rules and I've eaten everything from popcorn (at the movie theatres), to an 8oz slurpee, and a few Oreos (without the cream). I've taken bites of some junk food here and there, though I steer clear of bread, rice and pasta no matter how much I want to chomp down on them....and finding accompaniments for meat and fish has become a creative process. Lol. Sort to say. So with all this said, I am pretty worried, because many times I have been able to eat everything that I wanted at pretty high portions like 6oz of meat or fish and 3 or 4 oz of veggies even though it takes me a few hours to finish, but I get it down. Lately I've been asking myself if I'm even sleeved?? Geez! I'm almost sure I am. Lol, but I am so scared to gain weight, I have gone through the weight loss/ weight gain thing wayy too many times and I should be sure that since I'm sleeved I will go down, but I am not 100% confident. Is it possible to dialate my tummy already???... Our sleeve is a tool, I just hope I'm using it the right way. I'm sure that I don't even get half of the liquids that I am supposed to be drinking, TMI ALERT: my pee is way dark and definitely no enough at all times due to my lack of liquid in take, but I'm sure eating. My goal is to be 160-165 lbs. much sooner than later. I hope it happens. Good luck to all of you out there, reading your posts helps me immensely. I wish all of you that are having serious complications and financial issues blessings and that all gets better soon. I'm having financial issues too. But it will get better! ...and to all of you that are doing good/great keep it up! =)

I messed up today. I had more Red Mango frozen yogurt (which in all reality I don't think is all that bad) BUT I did top it again with mango chunks, like 4 or 5 mini dark choco chips and seriously like 4 or 5 captain crunch pieces. I didn't feel completely terrible about that, but I also ate like 1/4 cup of Cocoa Krispies cereal with fat free milk...and my stomach felt like doing somersaults for a bit. =( It's crazy to think that these little things that would've never upset me before have me feeling so shameful. Oh, and I can't bare water at all, so when I take my evening meds (metformin, biotin, birth control and cymbalta (for anxiety), I felt absolutely sick, nauseaous and thus pissed off. Idk.. I don't regret my sleeve and I definitely don't want to ruin it, but I'm just feeling annoyed by how my body reacts to acts that seem so normal. Oh, and beside my food and body complaints (lol)... I was sleeved on the 17th (one week out) and I'm going back to work on Monday, Oct. 1. I was supposed to go back technically yesterday Monday, Sept. 24, but my doctor won't give me clearance until my first post-op appmt which is on Friday, but I feel absolutely guilty about not being at work. I have read that some sleevers have taken weeks and even a months at a time, which is not a luxury I can afford, but even if I could, am I the only one who is extremely bored with all this extra time?..(extra time that translates to tormenting myself with all things VSG and food?)...lol.. Smh. Just wanted to vent. Thanks guys!

I've been curious for a few days now about this, but does anybody think it's okay to have soggy Cereal with fat free milk during the puréed stage?.. Lol.. I recognize fresh hard crunchy cereal is solid food, that's why I added soggy. Lol Oh and, is it just me or has anyone else been keeping a mental list of all the foods you want to eat when you get to the solid stage?.. Lol (Head Hunger Monster) =(

Hi Everyone... I'm 3 days out today and still in the hospital. Per my doctor, all sleeve patients must stay in the hospital for 3 days. I'll be getting my drain tube taken out tomorrow and sent on my way home. I did the Pre-op diet for a week, having 5 Protein (Bariatric Advantage Brand) shakes a day with two warm broths and two cups of veggies. I lost 11 pounds. I haven't weighed myself post-op, but I hope I have lost some weight. All I had was Clear liquids the day prior to surgery and past midnight till today I have had nothing to drink or eat. (smh).. As of now, I am still on pain medications (a pain pump) and I'm drinking an ounce of Water once an hour every hour (which by the way has been super hard to swallow and I even get a little pain once I feel it has hit my stomach)...right before I was started on water, my doctor ordered me to get a fluoroscopy test done to make sure there were no leaks... This fluoroscopy test consisted of me drinking for the first time in more than 48 hours the most dreadful drink ever! (some disgusting dye)!.. But oh well.. My doctor is super duper thorough and since post op I have also gotten a chest x-ray and now I'm just waiting on more post-op instructions. I'll be going back to work next Thursday, hopefully by then l be feeling better and able to digest the following foods: Protein Shakes, water, sugar free Jello, warm broth, frozen yogurt?, and perhaps some veggies too as I did in the pre op diet. Good luck to the rest of the September sleevers... We got a long way to go..=)