Cadilex

GMAN, if I hadn't been married to the most amazing man and love of my life for more than 35 years, I might just give your wife a run for her money!! Hilarious!!! Just hilarious!!! BTW, the men who work with, and for, him call him GMAN. Great to read of your success. Quite an inspiration.

Absolutely! Great -and so very true - words of encouragement, Liz . Keep your chin up Alicia. Great and wonderful things are being planned for you. Don't believe me? Find a Bible and read Jeremiah 29:11. Then read Romans 8:28. Then, dear one, take a deep breath, smile and know you are loved and cared for every minute of every day - and have been since long before you we're ever born!

January will be here before we know it!

We've had to move my date twice and I think we have it right this time. Scheduled now for January at Forest Park Medical Center in Dallas.

Thank you everyone.

I've looked for it for as far back as I can remember, really, even though everything I do seems to say I don't really want it found. And in the end, when it found me, it did exactly what I thought I wanted - it changed everything. That thing, that one thing, has catapulted me from the comfort I know into a new place I thought wanted to go. I know it's a good thing, but all I can think is, "What have I done?" I am sick now. That kind of sick that makes the doctor say, "If you don't lose some weight now, you are going to die - and I don't mean in a year or two - I mean very soon." Kidneys working at 25 percent. Liver working at about the same. I haven't been in my 50s long enough yet to even say hello. It wasn't the "Ah-Ha! moment" I wanted at all. My family will know what I've pretended all these years they didn't... that I am an idiot for being so careless with the precious, joy-filled, blessed life given so freely to me - a husband I love beyond measure and who absolutely adores me, too, two great kids who married well and have beautiful kids of their own, a boat-load of wonderful friends, a Savior who died for me, and all the other requisite bells and whistles. An idiot. The really sick thing about it is that the thing I find the most frightening isn't that I find myself so close to death!! No, it isn't that at all. I am paralized with fear at the thought that I will have to give up my fat shield. How will I hide whatever it is I must be hiding? Who will I be without it? Do I really have the courage to find out? This morning, I was pretty sure I didn't. Today is the first day in this long process that I am really frightened and wobbly. I have been thinking about where I was a few months ago when I got home from the doctor after getting such frightening news about the true state of my health. I sat down at my computer and wrote those words above - not TO anyone, just to get out what it was I was thinking about all that had happened to me in those past few days. Although, with the unwavering support and help from my amazing husband of 35 years, I have decided, after months of research, to move forward with the decision to have the vertical sleeve, I found myself almost crippled this morning by the fear of not knowing who I will be after this process is over. I have cried and cried. I cried out of frustration because I have no idea what happened to me that would allow me to eat myself into such a horrible mess. I just wanted to throw up my hands and go hide my soul somewhere where no one could ever find it again. Fear is a hateful, hateful thing. Then - and this will REALLY sound stupid - I decided I was more afraid of someone thinking I was afraid of ANYTHING than I was of being afraid to keep on trying. Don't worry. I don't understand it either. So I blew my nose, dried my eyes, washed my face and took a deep breath. I took a long look in the mirrow and told myself that feeling sorry for myself - and everyone else whose lives I have robbed of joy because of my weight problems and its related issues - wasn't going to accomplish anything and it was effort I should be putting toward making the situation better instead of worse. I know if I don't come to terms with the unknown ahead of me, it is going to cripple me.

Thank you, one and all, for your kind responses. I am very grateful for your thoughts and insight.

Hello Amiee. Will you be at the Forest Park facility in Dallas or Frisco?

This was a really terrific blog. Thanks for sharing!

Congratulations! So happy to hear you are doing so well. Dr. Nicholson will be doing my sleeve December 4. Perhaps you could send me a private note and let me know about your experience. I would really appreciate it if you have the time. Continued good luck in your recovery!

December 4 with Dr. Nicholson in Dallas!

I sent you a private message Krysti.

Have been really busy since my consultation and haven't had an opportunity to post since then. The meeting went great but was shorter than I expected. That isn't a complaint, only an observation. I went to the Plano office. I could have set my surgery date much sooner than I did but travel obligations dictated that I wait until near the end of November. My surgery date is Tuesday, November 27. I took a list of questions but got caught up in the conversation and neglected to ask a couple of important ones. I am going to call the office today and ask the staff for some answers. I found everyone to be very pleasant and informative. They are all very knowledgeable about the procedures Dr. Nickelson performs. How was your experience at Forest Park? Have you made a decision yet about which procedure you feel would be best for you?

I am sorry. I've lost track of the date, obviously. I will post here after the visit.

I have my consultation with Dr. Nicholson tomorrow. Insurance approval, sleep study and psych eval complete. How was your consult?