Its been 5 months and 63 pounds ago that I was sleeved. After my first couple of weeks of being sleeved I couldn't see THIS happening, I thought I would never get here. Here for me is just about at goal. I'm currently 189 pounds, and I guess I will settle at 185 just because I think 185 sounds better than 189. When I started this journey I had no idea of what my goal weight was. The experts suggest that someone of my height and age should weigh somewhere around 150; if I went down to 150 i would definitely look like a q-tip. I'm very happy and comfortable where I am now. I am able to fit into a size 10, which blows my mind because I started this journey wearing a size 22. I'm finally accepting my new size. Early on I was having a hard time visualizing myself in this thinner body. I was struggling when I went clothes shopping because all I've known for the past 25 years is plus sized clothing. when I finally realized that I had to shop in the "regular" sized stores, I was so intimidated and unsure of myself (weird right?). I would wear clothing and everyone would rant and rave about how thin I looked and even though I would see myself in the mirror, the change wasn't as significant to me as it was to everyone else. A couple of weeks ago I went to a beauty pageant with a friend of mine and she asked me to wear something short because she wanted to wear a cute short dress that she recently purchased. I agreed. I had to run to a store and purchase a short dress because frankly I've always felt like I was too big for short dresses and didnt have one. I ended up buying a cute black dress with a nude lace overlay that was slightly form fitting and stopped right above my knee. I tried it on and could not believe how great I looked. no girdle, no spanx, just me. I had a tiny belly bulge, but hey, i've got four kids, I'm entitled to it! I wore that dress that evening with my 5 inch pumps and looked like a freakin supermodel (well I felt like one anyway!) My husband, kids, and girlfriend couldn't stop telling me how great I looked, and I was finally able to agree with them. My AHA moment!
This surgery has done so much for me. I'm no longer gorging, and even when I have the desire too, I just can't because I'm sleeved. I sometimes get cravings for super sweet junk food that's no good for me, and when I try to indulge, my craving is usually curbed after the first or second bite, because I'm sleeved. My health concerns regarding diabetes and high blood pressure have eased because I'm so much healthier and even going to the gym. All because I'm sleeved!
My issues with self esteem and confidence have been taken care of...yes, because of my sleeve.
I know that every now and then I will doubt myself, but I promise you it won't be as much as it was before my sleeve. I'm eager to live and try new things - the things I wouldn't do before because I thought I was too fat and didnt want to bring attention to myself. My relationship with my hubby has rekindled as well. We were ok before I was sleeved as he has been nothing but supportive and caring through our 10 years together, but now that I'm more confident, I'm willing to do more and try new things with him (get your minds out of the gutter). I'm more anxious to go out of the house and just see what life has out there to offer. It's a great feeling. I'm over the moon and under 200 lbs!
