Susie in Lima

Ok sorry I havent written in a while we have been running like crazy for baseball and other
 
school things! I am back and I am back on track! That being said, normally when we are in
 
such rushes I have poor choices of foods and such. I have been doing such a great job in
 
this are and with little to no effort! Could this be because I am finally telling my story?
 
There has been a lot of things I have told here that I have never spoken about, still more -
 
but progress is progress! That being said lets get back to my story shall we? You would
 
think once he moved out and was no longer in my home things would ease up, not always the
 
case.
 
 
So Steve moved in with his mother and step father, he had gotten a part time job working for
 
wal mart. His first pay check he came right to my house with $125 for me. I was honestly
 
shocked! I in turn told him in order for us to make this as easy on the kids as possible
 
that I think it would be good for him to stop by several times a week, the door was always
 
open before their bedtime all he had to do was call. This worked out for about 2 weeks. It
 
had to become more restricted once he showed up at my house and thought it was still alright
 
for him to yell at me while Don was not there, in front of my kids! So we limited visits to
 
times that Don was home (with the exception of the times he came to get the kids). When we
 
finally went to court I made sure the judge put some things in the order such as it was his
 
responsibility to have car seats for the younger children and to provide transportation. He
 
was not "allowed" to argue with me in front of the children.
 
 
Everything went alright for about a month he showed up to get the kids and I had some things
 
that he had every right to if he wanted them, one of these items was a push mower for the
 
lawn so I offered it to him, he said he would take it. When he showed up he stayed in the
 
yard for a few minutes with the kids playing, then asked one of them to come ask me if he
 
could borrow my car seats! Mind you, they were 3 and a half at the time! When that failed
 
him he then went to Don. Don laughed and said to him I think the court order said for you to
 
have your own, you havent paid any support in a few months, you are still working and you
 
live with your mom, how can you not be able to spend $15 on each of the kids and get a
 
booster seat? You have to ask Reena, I have no say. So he came to me, I flipped out I
 
repeated what Don had told him and added in that I have not only one car seat for each child
 
but two for them since we have 2 cars, if I can afford to feed them, clothe them, pay the
 
sitter, put a roof over their heads ect, AND have two car seats then he can afford to buy
 
one! He left that day with no children.
 
 
A few weeks went by before he finally got the car seats, every once in a while I would use
 
him as a baby sitter to save me money. One day I was very sick and I needed to go to like a
 
urgent care so that I wouldnt miss any time from work. So I called Steve and asked if he
 
would come sit with the kids while I went. He agreed. He showed up and I told him I already
 
had food made, everything was all set just keep everyone out of my room. I went to the
 
doctors. While at the doctors they confirmed what I thought was the case, I was pregnant!
 
Now please don't think of me as irresponsible or anything like that and try to understand, I
 
have had 3 miscarriages and when I was pregnant with the twins I had a lot of assistance to
 
keep the pregnancy. So when they said I was pregnant I was scared! I did not want to lose
 
another baby, I didnt not want my boyfriend who had no children of his own to suffer through
 
such a thing. I was pleased, because a baby is a blessing no matter what time of day, but I
 
was afraid because there was a very high chance I would never get to hold that baby!
 
 
So on the way home I went over everything in my head. Don already knew I was pregnant and my
 
mother knew I was pregnant but we hadn't told anyone else. There was a few reasons behind
 
keeping the news to ourselves, the first on the list was the chance of loss, the second
 
reason was religon. I had decided to keep the reason for my illness to myself a bit longer,
 
Steve didnt need to know just yet.
 
 
When I arrived back home Steve was making small talk with me about my relationship with Don.
 
He saying how I was going too fast with Don, it was a relationship based around sex we had
 
nothing in common and eventually I would open my eyes and come back to him. I got very angry
 
so I said "would you like to know the real reason I had to go to the doctors today?" I took
 
the papers that they had given me in bold letters at the top of the page it said "You were
 
seen today for :pregnancy" and slapped them onto the counter! He read it twice, then he
 
said "you're f****** kidding me! What a f****** joke!" he laughed and went out the door. My
 
heart smiled as he drove away.
 
 
Later that night as I was going to bed I realized that there was something ... missing!
 
First I noticed a game system of Don's was gone, then I began poking around and realized a
 
ring my mother had given me was gone (it wasnt much as far as dollar value, but what it
 
meant to me had no price tag) a huge amount of video games were gone, just a bunch of
 
things, most from inside my bedroom. So the following day I called his mother's house and I
 
told her what was going on she said "oh I should have warned you, I have had things coming
 
up missing too!" Well, why are you ignoring this?! I asked her if I could come over to get
 
my things from him, she said yes.
 
 
Once she got off the phone with me she gave him her car keys and told him to leave. So when
 
I showed up she let me go through his whole room and take whatever was mine. I found
 
everything but my ring. (that was small enough to put in his pocket, I took some pleasure in
 
the fact that he would only see about $15 for it when he pawned it). We took our things back
 
to our house and nothing much was said or done about it, after all he and I were still
 
married and we shared children, according to the law in NY he still had every right to my
 
house and the things inside it!
 
 
I think it was about 2 weeks before father's day when Steve's mother called me, she was
 
crying and upset. She said they had to call the police because Steve had stolen a large
 
amount of money from her bank account, she didnt tell me an exact amount but that the over
 
draft was around $900! As it turns out, if you know the judge and you were arrested for
 
stealing from your mom? You get to go home that night because he called me the next day
 
laughing about the situation!
 
 
I had to allow him to take the kids, it was his weekend. So he came and got them without any
 
problems. He was supposed to get them by 10 am and bring them home at 6pm. Sometime around
 
11:30 am he showed up to get them, it was 3pm when he returned with them. His reasoning "the
 
twins were getting into stuff" So I gave my opinion, I said it must be nice to be able to
 
just pack up the kids and return them the minute they get slightly difficult. Then he began
 
to argue with me over things that had nothing to do with the kids all about the past. I
 
asked him to leave, I mean my children were right there as he was calling me things such
 
as a ****, a ***** ect. He refused to leave. I went inside and he follwed me, at which
 
point I felt threatened. I thought to myself there was no way in hell I was going to let him
 
 
push me back in my hole again! So I began yelling at him, I told him he had to leave. He
 
yelled back that he didnt! I said "alright fine! lets see if Im right, Ill give the cops a
 
call!" so I picked up the phone and for the first time in my life I called the police on my
 
husband! He took off as soon as he realized I was actually on the phone with someone. The
 
police showed up the officer did tell me there was actually nothing they can do since he and
 
I are still married, he suggested that I move to a new location where he has never lived.
 
 
Father's day rolled around, I had become very uneasy about dealing with Steve. I had made it
 
clear that someone else had to be there any time we were to exchange the kids or anything.
 
So the idea for father's day was that he could see the kids but he wouldn't be left alone
 
with them. I would meet him at a public place with the children. I wouldnt be in the mix,
 
more a bystander just watching. So on father's day I called to see where and when he wanted
 
to meet. His step father answered the phone (a less than friendly guy, since Steve had
 
filled their heads with garbage about me) I asked for Steve, he said "he can't come to the
 
phone right now, he is talking with an officer. I have 2 handguns that have come up
 
missing!" This alarmed me since just days before he had text me saying how I was lucky to
 
not become front page news yet! He ended up being taken into custody by the police but
 
released that night.
 
 
The next morning I went to family court to get a stay away order and restraining order. I
 
had found out too that he was back into the drugs full force. I had given him $1000.00 of my
 
tax returns to wrap up our last year together (if he was smart and took me to court, my
 
lawyer said he would get at LEAST half! so I offered $1000) come to find out this money went
 
towards a weekend cocaine bindge. He said he had stolen those guns and traded them for drugs
 
that was also why he had stolen all of the other items from his mom and the money! He lost
 
his job, never told anyone so he still had use of a car. So I go to the advacate at family
 
court and I tell her my story, I asked her if we could move for an emergency stay away. This
 
would mean the judge had to rule on it today, and that Steve would be served today, he would
 
not be allowed to call my house (the kids would call him) he couldnt see the children until
 
we returned to court for a modification of visitation, he would not be allowed to come to my
 
work place or the school for at least 6 months. The advacate said yes, we moved forward with
 
the paperwork. I arrived at court at 7:45AM, I finally saw the judge at 4:30PM! When I went
 
in before this judge I explained to her about the text messages and the missing guns, his
 
drug habbits and explosive behaviors. She said to me "yeah, but do you REALLY think he will
 
harm you?!" as if I would wait around all damn day because I wanted to be a thorn in his
 
side! My reply? "I honestly don't know what he might do while he is under the influance, he
 
has surprised me more than once!"
 
 
She reluctantly granted me my requests. It was a good thing too becauses he was still
 
walking free and the police had yet to locate those missing guns!
 
 
More to come, I NEED to go get my nails done! A quick thank you for all of you who defended
 
me and my writing on the last post. I love to know there are people that stand behind me.
 
Although it has taken me almost 4 years, I am finally starting to see, I am a warrior and
 
one of the best kind too! The kind that hasnt given up. I hope I can inspire others to stand
 
up to their battles and have the inner strength to be victorious!
 
 
 
 

Until recently, I thought that WLS was for the unmotivated or lazy. The more I researched I found that surgery is just like buying diet aids and spanx. It is a tool to help overweight people to reach their goal of good health.
 
I research both the lap band and the sleeve and concluded that the sleeve was the right procedure for me. On October 1, I went to Dr. Jayaseelen for a consultation. His staff was nice and he was there to discuss the procedure during that initial visit. They verified that my UHC benefits covered the procedure but I would have to get individual approval and provide a 5 year history of obesity. Now, this was not going to be hard because I've had the same doctor since moving to Texas 11 years ago, worked for the same company, and held the same insurance.....but I was still just going through the motions and tried not to get excited.
 
Well, on October 9th, I received a call from Dr. Jay's office stating that I was approved by my insurance and that I could select a surgery date.....my head was spinning! The nurse told me that I could schedule it as early as October 24th! Instead I opted for October 30th.
 
Now you must know that there was a lot to be done in a short amount of time. I had to attend a pre op surgery class, have the EGD procedure, pre-op meeting with the surgeon, blood work, ekg, stress test.....The doctor's office worked with me to get as much as possible done in one day so that I would not have to make several trips back and forth. That was very much appreciated.
 
I started my liquid diet on the 22nd of October and guess what happened on the 25th????? My doctor's office called me and asked....would you like to move your surgery up to tomorrow? Of course I was speechless and could only studder for a few seconds or so. I asked them to give me about an hour and I would call back with my decision. But since I knew my out of pocket costs and was ready to pay, had my short term disability started at my job, been to the grocery store and bought presurgery laxatives, liquid protein, gas x, b12, juices, crystal light, etc. - I decided to go for it because I was prepared!!!!
 
Well here I am on Sunday night, sitting in my family room 2 days after surgery and feeling quite nice. 5 lbs down.....

Here in NE FL it is a little cooler this AM due to Hurricane Sandy blowing by. So I broke out the dreaded jeans from last winter. You know, the ones that were to tight by the time the holidays came around and the ones that didn't stretch...the ones that if I bent down with them buttoned to tie my shoe I felt like I was going to pass out....
 
Well guess what, I can bend over and tie my shoe, breath in them and they are actually a little big...And I have to wear a belt to keep them up...
 
30 lbs down in 2 months since surgery....YEAH ME!!!!!!!

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