FeeIsMe2

I've finally completed all of my insurance req's and am now awaiting approval. Since I've completed my requirements I guess this entire process has become really 'real' to me and it scared me. I kept asking myself if I really NEEDED this surgery...why couldn't I lose wieght on my own? Am I being lazy and taking the easy way out? Is it worth putting myself under the knife and having major surgery when I'm already too lazy to eat right and exercise? Am I wasting my family's money by having surgery? etc, etc, etc.
Well tonight my sweet 5 year old ittle girl innocently made a statement that first broke my heart and then made me realize without a doubt this surgery is the right thing for me.
We were driving home and she asked what would happen if I started to drown (We have a pool and swim a lot. I used to teach swim lessons and water safety, so water safety is REALLY important to me). I said, "Well, if I was truly drowning and couldn't get out, hopefully someone would help me out of the water." She replied (Here's where my heart broke...) "But Mommy, you're so big. How would they be able to pull you out? You're too heavy." And THEN she tried to backtrack...that broke my heart even more. She shouldn't have to worry about what she says to me and if it hurts my feelings. She shouldn't have to try to change what she said to make me feel better - - she's FIVE!
AND THAT DID IT FOLKS. I almost broke down in tears right there in my car. I can hide from cameras, I can hide from the mirror. I can ignore the fact that my clothes are too tight I can hardly zip my pants. I can look past my double chin. I can choose to not look at my stretch marks. I can ignore being breathless just from walking from my car to my house. I can not pay attention to the fact that I now have to undo my top button to my jeans when sitting at my desk because it is digging in to my stomach. I can pop another blood pressure pill and ignore my high blood pressure...
But I cannot ignore the fact that my kids notice I'm overweight and that kills me. I guess up until then I knew I was wayyyyy too heavy but since no one else would address it I could go on my merry-way and ignore it. But there's no ignoring it anymore. I have to do something more powerful than myself so that I can stop living a hollow life and stop living in the shadows, hoping no one addresses the fact that I am unhealthy. The heck with the fact that I am so unattractive anymore, I am unhealthy and am not the role model that my kids deserve.
So I'm having this surgery.
I don't care how it happens, I need this surgery. I need to lose weight. I need to get healthy. I need to start caring about myself. I need to start caring about my family and their future - - with ME in it.

My, my, my... where do I even begin?
 
Let's see. My life has drastically changed. I'm a different person, inside and out. And oh yeah, I found someone who loves me and my child and wants to marry me. Yup. Life is good. Wait... no.... life is GREATTTTTT!
 
 









 
Bottom line, my life didn't begin until I had VSG. Plain and simple. No diet, no magical pill, no trainer workout session would ever get me to the point where I am today. I'm now smaller and weigh less than I did when I was in high school. I had a lifetime membership to the fat kids club, and now I'm on the outside looking in. If I could afford to pay for all my overweight friends and family to get this surgery, I would do it in a heart beat. This has been a high photographic month for me. My boyfriend and I are NOT engaged... yet. However it's on the horizon and we had formal pictures done with my son, and then last week I went on Vacation and he and I went to Las Vegas for 4 days with friends, followed by a week with my family in Colorado. It was amazing. And I lost weight on vacation.... my sleeve is a miracle worker! While the pounds aren't coming off as drastically as they use to, they are coming off. I'm still eating a pretty clean diet, and I work out 3 to 4 days a week for a couple of hours at the gym that has onsite daycare for my son. My schedule is a hectic mess, but once again- if I can do this- ANYONE can do this. There is no magical one thing I did. I did it all. I worked out as much as I could, forced my water consumption, and ate clean. The sleeve did the rest, and the proof is in the pics.
 
Interesting side story:
 
While on vacation I visited with my aunt, who has been my stand in mother my entire life, has been battling with a number of major issues that have made her gain 90 lbs over the past 7 years or so. Always a pillar of health, when menopause set in, followed by a major back surgery, she couldn’t stop the weight gain. Last month she found out she has major artery blockage, horrible cholesterol, and high blood pressure. They put her on a super intense strict diet. I sat her down, and told her EVERYTHING. She knew I had VSG, but I told her the good the bad and the ugly. I even told her I went to Mexico for the surgery (she was VERY upset, and I figured this might be her response…).
 
Then she said something interesting- she told me I was a walking billboard for VSG. We went to lunch and dinner several times together, and she was watching my eating and drinking habits, and started asking me how I was a 2 bite wonder? How I could eat a little bit of everything but not binge? And asked me about how my hunger has lessened, if not almost totally disappeared.She has never seen me so healthy and happy. She said my weight really messed with my head and my life decisions, and she sees how drastically I’ve changed over the past year, and she was so proud. And also found out VSG is covered by here insurance! She has already made the doctors’ appointments to look into it. I’m so blessed and thankful; she looks at me as a success story. She said she would NEVER have considered it if I hadn’t done it. While I wish I could get all of my overweight friends to invest into the VSG surgery, it’s absolutely humbling that someone so close and important to me would consider this surgery. I truly hope she follows through with it, and I hope I’m there when she has surgery.
 
 
Height: 5'9
 
Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 lbs
Current Weight: 147.1 lbs
 
Weight Loss to Date: -68.9 lbs
 
1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (Achieved 11/27)
2nd Optimal Goal Weight set by Doc: 145
3rd Final Personal Goal Weight: 135
 
Sleeve Journey:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs)
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs)
Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5)
Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5)
Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1)
Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1)
Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs)
Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2)
Week 15 (11/30): 167.3 (-5.8)
Week 16 (12/7): 168.1 (+.8)
Week 17 (12/14): 164.6 (-3.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 12/17/12- 4 Month Anniversary (-8.7 lbs)
Week 18 (12/21): Holiday Break/Vacation- No Scale Available
Week 19 (12/28): Holiday Break/Vacation- No Scale Available
Week 20 (1/4/13): 164.5 (-.1)
Week 21 (1/11): 161.5 (-3.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 01/17/13- 5 Month Anniversary (-3.1 lbs)
Week 22 (1/18): 161.7 (+.2)
Week 23 (1/25): 158.7 (-3.0)
Week 24 (2/1): Out of town- No scale Available
Week 25 (2/8): 157.2 (-1.5)
Week 26 (2/15): 157.2 ( .0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 02/17/13- 6 Month Anniversary 157.2 (-3.3 lbs)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 03/17/13- 7 Month Anniversary 153.9 (-3.3 lbs)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 04/17/13- 8 Month Anniversary 150.8 (-3.1 lbs)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 05/17/13- 9 Month Anniversary 147.1 (3.7 lbs)
 
 

I am 10 months out and I feel really good. I've lost about 67 #'s so far. I'm happy with where I am and I have enjoyed the journey along the way. I've had to change things, learn things and implement things so this journey has been very interesting and amazing. I am now jogging using c25k and it feels great. I'm loving my sleeve.
 
KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!!
 
 
at my highest weight
 
during weightloss

I believe anyone that has 85% of their stomach removed will lose weight. You can't help but lose, if you are limited to 4oz of food every few hours.
 
Now the big question is, where is your hunger coming from? Only you can figure that part out. Is it from emotional eating, boredome, stress, or is it because you have hunger pangs caused by the hormone ghrelin?
 
From my own experience, I knew that my hunger was real (even though I had eaten 2 hours earlier, I'd be hungry again). It wasn't until I talked to my surgeon that he told me that I had an excess of the hormone ghrelin (produced by the stomach). The bigger the stomach, the more of the hormone produced.
 
The surgery stopped my hunger pangs. I have not had that nagging sense of hunger (other than my stomach growling) since surgery 7 weeks ago. And 4 or 5 oz of food keeps me satisfied, whereas before, I could eat 1 lb of steak and know I'd be raiding the fridge in 2 hours.
 
And I don't have any cravings anymore for certain flavors. Whereas before, I'd think about something that would taste good and I couldn't get the thought out of my head until I ate it - and a lot of it, not just a small portion.
 
Don't get me wrong, you can sabotage yourself after surgery. There are foods, called slider foods, that are calorie dense (ice cream, peanut butter) that pass through the stomach quickly, so it's possible to eat more. And it is possible to just graze all day on snacks that are high in calories.
 
The sleeve gave me the control over my eating that I needed. When I eat, I have full control of what I eat. I can pass on the donuts or just have 1 and be satisfied. With the exception of pasta - it triggers my sugar cravings. So I have to be real careful about eating it.
 
But I don't know if I'd the same success if my hunger was tied to my emotions instead of hormones.
 
I really believe food was an addiction - one you can't quit and never touch again.
 
Other addictions can be quit and never touched again. But what if a heroine addict, smoker or alcoholic knew they had to take some every day or their body would die?
 
What if they had 75 TV channels that ran commericals for cigarrets every 10 minutes during their favorite programs? Or had reality programs (like the best places to pig out or the food challenges) devoted to the best places to get their fix and showed people taking drugs and loving it? Could the addicts just reduce the amount they took every day and never over do it or would they give in to the nagging voice in their head telling them how good it was going to feel?
 
Ok, rant over. :-)

Happy 8 months to me! What a wild ride! I'm now down to 150.8 lbs as of this morning! I'm now lighter than I was in high school, and not even at my surgeon's goal yet. That is just amazing. My weight loss has slowed to a snails pace, but I'm so grateful where I am that I'm just thankful. I'm working on drinking more water everyday, and I work out at a Women's Only gym with onsite daycare 2 to 3 days a week. The weights have really started to pay off, and my body is really starting to firm up. My problem area has been, and always will be, my tummy. Giving birth and being overweight has just caused havoc, but as long as I look good in clothes, I'm not worried about trying to win any bikini contests! Big news- my mother had gastric bypass yesterday. She's recovering well, and it blew my mind she even did- she kept it secret for the most part until she actually had surgery. I don't know if I was motivation, or if her health was just so beyond bad she finally realized she needed surgery- I'm just glad she did it. I've never in my life seen my mother in a healthy BMI weight. This will be a very interesting journey to follow and watch. I'm checking in monthly on my anniversary date, and will try to continue to do so until my 1 year surgiversary. What I can say, what I will say, and what I have said.... the only thing I regret, is not doing this surgery sooner. So excited to enjoy myself and all my travel plans this summer! Last summer I was a hermit, and miserable. This summer- I've got an amazing list of places to go, people to see, and wonderful things to experience. Attached is a picture of me and my son this weekend, compared to a picture of me last year at this exact same time. I can't believe how much my face has changed!!!!
 
So, for the friends who have been inquiring what the diet I eat looks like... I eat 70% protein, 20% fruits and veggies, and 10% carbs and diary. I made sandwich wrap pin wheels, devilled eggs, fresh fruit cups, and honey mustard bacon wrapped chicken this week. I'm attaching what my sunday prep looks like when I'm packing snacks for the work week.
 

 

 

 
 
Height: 5'9
 
Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216
 
1st Primary Goal Weight for normal BMI: 169 (Achieved 11/27)
2nd Optimal Goal Weight set by Surgeon: 145
 
Sleeve Journey:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- 216 lbs
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary (-22.5 lbs)
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary (-11.6 lbs)
Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5)
Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5)
Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1)
Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1)
Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary (-8.6 lbs)
Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2)
Week 15 (11/30): 167.3 (-5.8)
Week 16 (12/7): 168.1 (+.8)
Week 17 (12/14): 164.6 (-3.5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 12/17/12- 4 Month Anniversary (-8.7 lbs)
Week 18 (12/21): Holiday Break/Vacation- No Scale Available
Week 19 (12/28): Holiday Break/Vacation- No Scale Available
Week 20 (1/4/13): 164.5 (-.1)
Week 21 (1/11): 161.5 (-3.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 01/17/13- 5 Month Anniversary (-3.1 lbs)
Week 22 (1/18): 161.7 (+.2)
Week 23 (1/25): 158.7 (-3.0)
Week 24 (2/1): Out of town- No scale Available
Week 25 (2/8): 157.2 (-1.5)
Week 26 (2/15): 157.2 (.0)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 02/17/13- 6 Month Anniversary 157.2 (-3.3 lbs)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 03/17/13- 7 Month Anniversary 153.9 (-3.3 lbs)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 04/17/13- 8 Month Anniversary 150.8 (-3.1 lbs)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 05/17/13- 9 Month Anniversary
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 06/17/13- 10 Month Anniversary
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 07/17/13- 11 Month Anniversary
 
ONE YEAR SURGERY ANNIVERSARY~~~> 08/17/13- 12 Month Anniversary

For as long as I can remember I was told I was beautiful with strings. I have been struggling with weight issues since I was at least 8 years old, that is about 20 years of being chubby, fat, heavy, thick, overweight, chunky, obese, or whatever unpleasant, easy to swallow, politically correct or incorrect word you want to use for it. Not only have I struggled but my weight has gone up over the last 10 years also. So many people in my life would give me the speech - you are so pretty you are so beautiful but you would be so pretty if you only lost weight. Thanks for the boost of confidence guys. That only knocked me back like 10 steps but if only you knew. (I'll go eat a cheeseburger now to feel better)
 
I used to be an active girl, playing sports, running around, being in the mix and then laziness and knee injury kicked in at 19 years old and then another at like 24. It was so much easier to use my knee injury as an excuse. Depression happened, life slapped me in the face and I didn't want to fight back so I ate to fight myself and punish the one person who didn't deserve it... me.
 
At 25 years old I lost my job and health insurance which caused me to go without for 3 years. At that point I went back to college to save my future and earn a bachelor's degree in accounting. During this period I gained more weight. I also went on diets, excersized, and lost weight, then gained it all back. Oh the Joys of Jenny Craig and dieting in general. I remember telling myself years ago that I would never be "this fat or this big" WELL HELLO WORLD I GOT HERE!!!" When I finally graduated, got a job and had health insurance again I went to the doctor and was weighed in to find myself at 272 pounds. Man was I in shock. I almost didn't believe it.
 
Then the airplane happened. I have to travel as a requirement for work and I was on a plane and could not buckle the darn seatbelt. I had to sit with my sweat shirt covering my midsection the whole 3 hour flight because I could not buckle THE DAMN BELT!!! I was mortified. I was afraid I would be noticed. I was sweating. I was probably suspicious looking. Heck I am surprised I didn't get frisked by the on board security person. But I made it and I vowed at that moment I would do something about it. That was when my doctor recommended weight loss surgery and I found Dr. Chau and Dr. Brolin.
 
I have been on this journey so far since August, 2012 and even had to start my insurance required diet appointments all over because I missed one - SO I can't stress the importance of making sure you get your behind to every single appointment enough. My last diet appointment is on March 18th and I am counting down the days.
 
My estimated surgery date is somewhere in Mid-May and I am soooooo excited and nervous I just can't tell you!

It's official. This morning I weighed in at 198... officially in Onederland now!! I have lost 193 lbs total!

Hi Everyone!!
 
I hope you will hop over to my blog and see my 200 Pounds Lost Video.
 
I came to this board about 2 years ago in search of hope
 
And I found it!!!
 
Thank you all so much for the help and support you have given me.
 
You all will never know the difference finding this board has meant to my life!!
 
If you can leave me a comment over at my main blog, it would make my whole day
 
I love hearing from VerticalSleeveTalk friends!!
 
Click here to get to the 200 Pounds Gone Video

This week I hit goal, and then some. Yesterday, I had an amazing opportunity to host a Medal of Honor recipient at my University and I was extremely excited. But things didn't go exactly to plan for my unoffical coming out party. How did D-Day go for me? Well, there were a lot of casualties... First off, I'm so happy I did my weight loss surgery, for ME, and me alone. Because I really had to put things into perspective. I had ex that said he was coming to the event, and a new guy I've been talking to for the past couple of weeks also RSVP. I was so psyched and really went all out getting ready, turns out NEITHER ONE of them showed up, and I felt quite dissapointed. I wanted to yell "TA DA!" but that opportunity was taken by their empty chairs... I was a little bitter and jaded about it- but then something interesting started to happen... I did a perfect performance with the event. Dozens and dozens of colleagues I hadn't seen in months were flipping out about how great I looked, my director was very pleased with everything, a friend from Ft. Benning did show up and took me too lunch and we walked all over campus chatting for the afternoon. Then I got a last second note that my team water polo end of season dinner was that evening (I missed the first announcement) and I walked in, and everyone gasped...
 
So while my love life might be in the dumps- I think it's safe to say a LOT of people in my life have noticed my weight loss, everyone has been dumb founded and when I saw this pic I posted- I barely recognized myself. I went from the verge of tears that afternoon, to complete peace coming home tin the evening after my team dinner. I know this is my journey, and I know that it's not one event that makes us who we are, it's the little everyday victories like being able to wake up and like what you see in the mirror that matters. And I really am starting to like what I see. And since I'm fairly religious, I will just throw it out there, that when I do meet Mr. Right, it will be on God's time, not mine. So I'm going to pick myself up, brush myself off, be thankful for my opportunities and another day to wake up and like the new me.Thank you all for being on this journey with me. ♥
 
Here is a pic from earlier today, me with medal of honor recipient Colonel Jacobs.
 
 
Height: 5'9
 
Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216
 
1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (Achieved 11/27)
2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145
 
Sleeve Journey:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog
Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2)
Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2)
Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8)
Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs)
Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9)
Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5)
Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1)
Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs)
Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5)
Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5)
Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1)
Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1)
Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs)
Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2)
Week 15 (11/30): 167.3 (-5.8)

Today I went in for my presurg scope, so they can look down into my stomach and make sure all is okay. I'm day 3 into my liquid diet, and because of my scope, I was not able to eat after 10pm yesterday until about 2pm today (after the procedure.) My mom, who is pretty awesome most of the time, went with me today because I needed someone to drive me home after the procedure. (They put you all the way out.)
 
Anyway, we had to sit back in the waiting area for about an hour before the doctor got there, and what did my mom spend that time talking about? Food! She read me a recipe she copied down from out in the waiting room. She listed what he will probably make for Christmas, and she pointed out that they were having my favorite one of her dishes (homemade beef stew) that night for dinner. I finally had to tell her that she was allowed to talk about food for the rest of the day! It was funny, but a little sad at the same time. It kind of encapsulated my experience with my family during times I've tried to lose weight: they say they support me, but then their actions say something else. My grandmother is the same way. She's famous for handing you a cookie, letting you start to enjoy it, and then looking at you and shaking her head, saying, "Boy, we really need to start watching our weight."
 
You gotta love family! But it was a good day. I was nervous about the scope, and it went really well. I had my last official appointment with the surgeon's office until the surgery, and honestly, the liquid diet is not too bad. I've actually lost about 4 pounds in the last 3 days. So onward we go-- 12 days left!

Insurance approval was faxed to my surgeon today! I'm approved! We'll be setting a surgery date within the coming days! I'm SOOOOOO excited!

1 year ago today I was being rolled into the Operating room thinking that this is my last chance to change my life. This is the last chance I have to get healthy and make a change for the better. This is the last chance for me to for me to stop just existing and start living. Growing up I was always the largest kid. In high school I went from being a 5 foot 8 kid to being 6 foot 4 man wearing a size 15 shoe. In high school I was athletic and worked out daily. After high school my family moved to Atlanta so my sister could receive better treatment for her MS. During my time in Atlanta I started to gain weight .I was sedentary and but still eating like an athlete. My sister lost her battle with MS and it affected my family severely. I started eating and packing on pounds , and me working a call center job working second shift did not help. In early 2011 I started looking for a way to get healthy. At this point I had not been weighed in at least 3 years. I went to the doctor and stepped on the scale and it read 540 pounds. My mother started crying uncontrollably at the doctors office, she saw 540 pounds and then saw me in a grave next to my sister. That was the day I decided that I have to have WLS, I had did diets and lost weight but it always came back. I started my journey at 540 pounds with back and joint pain, High blood pressure, borderline diabetic, and un-diagnosed sleep apnea. I was able to get down to 490 the day of surgery. I am down to 330 pounds as of today with a total loss of 210 pounds. I still have about 40-50 pounds to go but I am more than happy with my results. My life has improved so much in the last year. Physically I am able to walk for 10 minutes without my back being in knots and my joints screaming in pain. I am able to get a full nights sleep and not wake up tired. No more high blood pressure, no more back or joint pain, no longer borderline diabetic. Mentally I have become a different person also. My outlook on life is positive. I have become a stronger person inside and out. I no longer let negative people or issues get me down. I was just diagnosed with MS October 15th. Usually this would get me down especially since my family has history with this disease( my deceased sister), but I just started living again, I will not let this control my future. I am not going to stop living until I am dead- and I am not dead yet. I will you leave you guys with a quote that I live by. Stay strong and stay positive everyone.
 
"Now we are the masters of our fate, That the task which has been set us is not above our strength .That it's pangs and toils are not beyond our endurance .As long as we have faith in our cause and an unconquerable will-power Salvation will not be denied us ! "- Winston Churchill

Forgot to mention that my weigh in yesterday was 247.0, down from 251. Not too shabby. I did very well on the test days. Next week I'll probably do Sunday - Wednesday. Eating is so much less stressful when i don't really have to think about it. I think I may actually enjoy the 10 day liquid diet!
 
Spoke with my lender yesterday and verified all the loan info. He said it will fund a couple of weeks before surgery, so around the first week in December! w00t!
 
Till then I am just really trying not to buy a ton of stuff until I come back. Who knows what I will actually use/need/like and I don't want to waste money. Right now, just concentrating on getting to surgery.
 
I told my boss yesterday (one of the two people ONLY) that I am going to tell about surgery) and he's excited.
 
44 days!

I walked the dogs just now, noticed the mail on the washer on my way out. It was an envelope from aetna.....my letter of appeal has been approved. I'm so relieved.

Hello family, I will be starting a blog today, and will try to update daily. I was sleeved on May 31th 2012. A few complications, but over all I cant honestly complain. Life is GREAT! I wish I would have did this a long time ago!  

Well this morning, I woke up late and had to hurry to find something to put on. My sister brought me some Lane Bryant pants last year, size 20...well I went to put them on they were soooo baggy, I had to take them off! I started my journey at 279.00 pounds, I now weigh 226 pounds. After I put the pants on I was walking around, like yeah these will work, until I looked in the mirror....HAAAHHHAAA! Those things looked like I borrowed someone else pants.  

I know that my weight loss is a little slower compared to others, but I am BLESSED to be losing and NOT GAINING! I walk 2 -3 miles three to four times a week. I feel like I am doing my part...To who ever is reading this, stay encouraged! Even if you are not losing as much as you would like........You got this, and so do I....I would like to be under 200 pounds by the new year!  

Who is ready!  

Have a great day and enjoy this journey!!

My teeny tiny 4'11 friend have lost 32 pounds recently.She just got a huge promotion and today we decided to buy her a whole new wardrobe of dresses and shirts.
 
Of course the old stuff had to be turfed.As she was emptying her closets she came to me and said that most of her stuff is size 14 but some is 16 and I must fit them on.Never thinking they could fit I reluctantly tried and boy what a surprize.
 
Even her work suites fit me.And as I am more curvy they look gooood! An even bigger surprize is the fact that all the size 14 skirts fit as well.The tops are still to tight around the bust though.
 
Tis is such a blessing because they have been nagging me to buy new clothes.But for a few bits and bops I havent wanted to buy new stuff yet.I want to wait until just before the christmas holiday when we go home and should be down even another size by then.
 
The best of this is I have been buying her clothes for her for years as she is just too busy and she hated clothes shopping.I also have much better dress sense than her so she's got some really nice stuff.
 
Now I have new stuff and she has new stuff.She looks like a million dollars in all her new outfits and my kids mouths were hanging open when I walked into the lounge with some of her clothes on.
 
So I am shrinking,I just didnt realize it until today.
 
O and as we were walking,we played the size game again.I have to show her women I think are the same size than me and she would tell me yes or no and then show me people that are rally the same size than me.I still find it hard to believe when I see the people she shows me.But it helps me get in touch with my size slowly but surely.

It has been a while since I have been on here regularly and written on here. I haven't even updated my weight for a few weeks. In the past 3 weeks I have gone from 276.8 to 262.6. So I am still losing well, and steadily. I'm down a total of 62.4 pounds now! Holy moly, I can barely believe it.
 
Even though I know I still have a lot to lose left, I feel like an entirely new person. My life has kind of done a 180. I have energy, I have confidence, I feel like I look good when I wear my clothes. It's incredible. I cannot even list all the ways this surgery has changed my life. I have struggled with depression for the entirety of my adult life, and a lot of my late teens/early adulthood, so the level of difference is like night and day. I have had good times before, yes, but I feel like I've come so far in being where and who I want to be. I still have hard times, I still am a horrible procrastinator, but I feel like whatever the day throws at me, I am more ready for than I have ever been.
 
And....I think I have a boyfriend. He hasn't actually called me his girlfriend, but we did have a casual conversation the other day in which we asked if the other was seeing anyone else, and neither of us are, so I guess that makes us exclusive? He invited me to a get together with his coworkers next weekend, so we will see what he introduces me as, or maybe between now and then we'll chat about it. He's really an awesome guy, and we click really well together. Last night we went to a corn maze and walked around for about two hours - something I probably never would have done pre-surgery. He has said that I motivate him to eat better when he's out eating and whatnot. I thought that was really neat. He doesn't have a lot to lose, maybe 40 pounds or so, but it would be awesome to have him get in shape and feel better too. So I spent the night at his place and the whole day and night were just fabulous. I can add one NSV to my list about having more fun during sex =) Skinnier sex is much more fun.
 
Sometimes I feel like I need someone to pinch me, like is this really real? Is this my life now? How did I get to such a happy place so quickly? Not that I was horribly depressed before, but I certainly was not happy. I cannot say enough how thankful I am for this surgery. I will have to remember to let my surgeon know Thursday at my 3 month appointment that he has been such an instrument for change in my life. I'm sure he gets it a lot as people lose, but it would be nice to let him know that I feel so appreciative for the gift he has given me (Even though I paid for it =p).
 
Anyway, I just wanted to update because I hadn't in a while, and I haven't really kept up on my food logging or searching posts here. I keep trying to get myself back into the habit of it, but it hasn't worked. It will continually be something that I try to work on until I can finally make it a habit. I haven't been eating poorly though, and my weight loss has been great, so I'm not concerned or anything.
 
That being said, I'm procrastinating finishing getting ready for work, so I have to head off. I hope everyone is doing well!
 
Life is good. =D

Week 26
 
Last week’s weight – 198.8
This week’s weight – 194.8
Total weight lost this week – 4 (happy dance!)
 
Beginning weight – 246 lbs
Total weight loss since surgery – 51.2 lbs
 
Woo Hoo….I finally broke the last few weeks of yoyo’ing and hit the 50 lb mark in my weight loss (half way to goal!).
 
I definitely did it through drinking a lot more water. I am still doing CrossFit as my main form of exercise (3x a week). I can feel myself getting stronger and more coordinated with the exercises but I definitely have to scale back a lot of the workouts. I’m ok with that mainly because I would like to be tone and stronger and not bulky.
 
My eating hasn’t been too bad this week. The hardest part of the day, for me, is getting home from work. Usually I am either bored or trying to avoid housework or homework so eating sounds good (luckily with my sleeve I am extremely limited with what I can eat). I don’t always make the best choices though.
 
I now officially fit into size 16 pants (from a 22W!). I bought 16’s from both the Eddie Bauer outlet and Target and they fit fine. I waffle in shirt size from a large to an XL. I bought a L from Eddie Bauer and stretched the crude out of it over the back of a large padded computer chair we have (it was tight across my belly fat). It is still a little tight across my bosom but I wore a sweater over it so it wasn’t too noticeable. Speaking of bosoms, I’ve gone from being at 42DD to a 40D (so I’ve had to buy some new bras).
 
Until next week!

So I’ve been feeling a bit … I don’t know … down, disheartened, unsuccessful…. I don’t know what the word should be… For one thing, I’ve been really sick for the last ten days with a combo cold/allergy thing. I’m finally feeling better physically and mentally, so here I am.
 
Another reason for my “mood” is that when I went for my last dr visit, at my four-week mark, I had only lost 5 lbs. This was so disappointing after my huge second week loss. I had to remember that I had been storing a huge amount of fluid for almost two years so that was the first thing to come off. Needless to say, I was a bit anxious about my doctors appointment yesterday.
 
I had decided that I needed to take a chill pill and give myself a bit of credit. I’ve on this challenge and have been pretty successful with the huge change in my life. I’ve kept my protein intake up and am (aside from the cold from hell) feeling pretty fantastic. I also reminded myself that it took a long time, for the most part, to get here and it will take a while to take it all off and as long as I continue to go down, even if its one pound at a time, it’s an improvement.
 
So with this pep talk under my figurative belt, I bravely (cough) went to my doctor’s appointment yesterday. This was my family doctor who I last saw the day before my surgery so I actually was pretty stoked to show him my success to this point. Actually, it was the first time I’ve been happy to be weighed in at his office in the last two years. Prior to this, I had been gaining every time I would go in. It was frustrating for me but also to my doctor because we could not stop whatever was going on. Last time I saw him, I had a raging case of cellulitis on my left leg, not to mention that the same leg was twice (at least) the size of my right leg.
 
Thank goodness that my anxiety was short-lived!! I had lost 8 lbs and that officially put me under 300 lbs!! This is the first time in almost two years that I have seen that! This brings my official weight loss to 45 lbs in six weeks! Yeah me!! My doctor was also very pleased with my progress. Not only had I lost a lot of weight but I no longer had cellulitis and the swelling is gone from my legs. And even though I’m still sneezing, my O2 stat was at 89, and I’m still not feeling 100%, he (and I) were so excited that my lungs were totally clear!! You have to understand that prior to this, every single time I would get a cold it would mean weeks of recovery, antibiotics, and a general miserable existence until it would clear up. Not only did this not happen this time BUT I really didn’t even have to increase my medications (nebulizer etc) this time. Very little wheezing, huffin’ & puffin’, etc… Yeah! I’m loving this new life!!
 
So, with my usual positive outlook back in order (and great drugs keeping the nose under control!) I decided to take inventory of what I am able to do now that I could not do six weeks ago or for the last two years, for that matter. Now I understand that if you have never been large then you may not realize what a huge accomplishment these things are but if you have walked in my shoes at all…. you get it!! So here we go…..
 
The first thing I noticed, of course, was that I could breath. I know I have mentioned this in previous entries but when you feel like you are suffocating 24/7, it is pretty major. Of course, with this obstacle pushed somewhat to the side, I am now able to walk without feeling like I’m going to have a heart attack or pass out at any moment. I can put on my bra by myself. I know, you are thinking “What?” well I could not reach around behind my back and hook my bra so my dear hubby had to do it for me. I think he kinda feels left out now! lol I can take a shower without having to sit down as soon as I get out AND I can shave my legs with ease!! I can fix my hair win half the time that it was taking me. I also have not heard my husband ask me “Why are you breathing so hard?” for a while now. (Yeah!!) There are a lot of other things but the latest two things just happened in the last week or two…. I put on and tied my own tennis shoes with the bow ON TOP and I painted my toenails this morning! I even got a compliment from one of my bosses… she thought I had gotten a pedicure!! Again YEAH!!
 
So with this happy evalutation, I am now looking forward and will hopefully keep the negativity at bay. Happy journey and Hugs!!!

Today's the day! Surgery in 4 hours!!! I decided to continue my journey with the sleeve.... Insurance is still giving me an issue but my doctor says don't worry about it! I love y surgeon!
 
wish me luck, say your prayers