smrt1997

I would go to syntrax's site http://www.si03.com/reg_index.htm and order a sample pack and see which ones you like. Then I buy the ginormous canister of the flavor I like on amazon.com. I have an amazon prime account so I get free two day shipping.

I was going through pictures I had boxed away this morning to find pictures of my friend for his surprise 40th birthday party. Well, it really took a toll on me. I see myself through different eyes now and when I look at those pictures, I see a much larger person that I ever thought I was. I feel so disgusted with myself because of the way I looked. Now, the even more depressing part is, I wonder if I am seeing myself through those same eyes and wonder if I am much larger than I think I am. I am losing around 3-4 lbs per month since my 6 month anniversary and it's all right after my monthly cycle. but those other three weeks I get scared that I will never reach my goal. I know it's my own fault because I am not exercising at all and I am not eating the best things. Not going crazy and definitely not overeating, just not on the right track, I think. Just so sad with what I saw in those pics, there were pictures with an ex boyfriend that I saw that I never thought I looked that bad at that time. I was disgusted by it and it really got me down. Just feeling very overwhelmed. On a different note, my husband is going to have the surgery in early november. Besides the great news of him getting healthy, I know it will help me to make this a complete lifestyle change because I will have him eating the same things, amounts and no junk. But, that time cannot get here soon enough!!! I keep thinking to myself, a year from now, we will be in an amazing place and I hope that this struggle I am having with keeping up with the right choices will no longer be an issue.

Thank you, Justine. You are very sweet and very pretty too!!

Thank you all so much. I will lift myself back up again and just quit beating myself up. Thank you, Cheri. Your experience and guidance really struck a cord with me

Love Nectar protein powder by Syntrax. I drink a scoop every Day in a 24 oz water bottle and to me it blows crystal light away plus you get around 24 grams of protein per scoop. The one I like the most is the strawberry mousse flavor. It tastes just like Frankenberry Crunch cereal and you just mix it with water.

went home next day

Congratulations!!!!!! You should be so proud of yourself!!

oh, and i think another trigger right now is tomorrow at work I have been put in charge of 15 new hires for two days. I have pretty significant stage fright, so I am VERY VERY anxious. Just hoping this week flies by!

Thank you for the support. I am normally doing mostly ok but today am def not in the best place. I get discouraged when I see so many folks who are so upbeat and excited on the forums and always wonder how they do it. I am still tired and lazy and tempted at so many times. I need to get back to my therapist and work on this head thing. I just don't always see progress in my thoughts and my head hunger, and that scares me.

btw, hope you feel better!

My surgeon told me to take the vicodin he prescribed from the surgery if I had any left over. Maybe try that or ask your doc for a quick script just to get you through.