Vickums

Oooh, Babs, look how close to goal you are!!!! You must be so thrilled. I'm glad to hear about someone having therapy while undergoing weight loss. I'm thinking that I'll want to do that as well. After all, being fat is part of who I am. I've been big my whole life! And I think it might be good for my hubby too, who a) has his own weight issues, and has adored my abundant body since I was only 16. Thanks for all the excellent sharing and advice in this thread.

Heh. GMTA, Staci. Well, the saga continues. My new insurance will not cover WLS of any kind. Not evah. Nope. Not gonna do it. SO.... I'm screwed. My current insurance ends the end of March, which isn't near enough time to jump through the hoops of getting the band (including affording a plane ticket to Texas, which is where the nearest non-hackish band doc my insurance covers practices). I'm currently in negotiations with a local WLS doc who doesn't do the band but who does very conservative bypasses. He does only proximal, only minimal bypass (depending on patient's wishes for weight loss, BMI,, etc) and has an excellent rep with nurses and patients. Obviously this is a HUGE step, and I'm still thinking very seriously about it. I'm going to go to his seminar, have an appointment and ask a million questions. My husband is dead set against me having bypass, so he's not going to let me do this lightly. At this point it's a longshot whether I'd even get it approved and done before my insurance runs out but at least the doc/office people know my insurance and work closely with other nurses at my hospital. All I know is I have to do SOMETHING. I start my new job in February and I'm losing ground with my mobility. It scares the crap outta me that I paid over $20k for this new career, will have the job of my dreams and be too disabled to enjoy it. So frustrating.... Believe me, if there were another way, I'd have come up with it. But there is no way I can get financing for the band (I've tried, but my debt ratio is too high) and since all my family is dead (or dead broke) there's nobody to borrow from. Unless you guys would like to have a car wash for me.

Lisa, honey, damn you've been through the ringer. It's SO unfair. You're such a good person, you sure as hell don't deserve this crap. I hope that you're wrong and that it's just healing, but in the meantime it sounds like a good idea to take advantage of having the band for as long as you can have it. As for the restriction, haven't I read that it can take awhile for them to kick in? Do you think you should maybe wait one more week, and see how things go? Not being a bandster -- and now it doesn't ever look like I'll BE a bandster *sniff* -- I could be talking out my rather abundant ass. But I'd hate to see you get really miserable with an overfill, you know? Take care, chickie. We're all rootin' for you.

Thanks for the empathy, guys. I think my first step is going to be to talk to the doc here who does fills. As far as I know he's 'only' a Family practice doc, so he wouldn't be able to fix anything (other than an un-fill); but if he could at least diagnose something if something were to go wrong, then that would be a good step. I'm not one to rely on rumors, so I'll definitely make an appointment and talk to him personally -- not go by what other bandsters say. If he can't do it, my options are thus: 1) Get the band and hope for the best. *gulp* Obviously my surgeon would be willing to help me but if he's in Seattle (or Texas), then that's a $600 plane ticket. It's not like I can just pick up and drive, you know? 2) Get the band and see if the doc who does place them here (a doc I do not trust and the reason I'm going out of state to get the band to begin with) could help me. From what I've heard -- rumors again -- not only does he not like the band, but he likes even less even doing fills for other docs' bands. When people have tried to approach him prior to surgery, he charges a $300 consultation fee before he'll even talk to them and then tries to talk him out of it. So I consider him in the "oh HELL no" scenario". 3) Wait until we possibly move to the lower 48 which will bein 2-3 years. My concern about that is that I'm gaining weight as we speak, and because of my Sarcoidosis, I'm having trouble getting around as it is. I wonder what 3 years would do. 4) Get a bypass (obviously not my first choice, and the other choice which has me go "Oh HELL no"). I'd only get a bypass with this one doc who does a pretty conservative bypass (75 cm versus 100 cm or more, and I'd try to talk him down from the 75). My goal is not to lose 100 pounds in six months. I'd be happy to lose 100 pounds at ALL. My husband is understandably freaked about option number four, as I am. For lots of reasons the bypass is a bad idea for me. But unless I can get proper follow up care, what are my options? Thanks again for your insight, folks. I suspect it'll be awhile before this is all sorted out; in the meantime I look on in envy at those of you on the "losing" side.

The other thing about coffee -- and I say this as a coffee lover -- is that it's a diuretic. So not only will you dump fluids, but along with it, necessary minerals as well (especially Calcium, magnesium and zinc). So it seems that if, after banding, it's hard to get enough fluids and nutrition, coffee might exacerbate that. Does this mean that I will give up coffee post surgery? Oh HELL no. But I do drink my coffee with tons of milk (which neutralizes its acidic nature AND provides calcium) and I understand that I'll probably end up cutting way way down.

Six deaths from LAP bands??? That would be worrisome. Six deaths from any WLS is significant but especially the band because the death rate is what? 0.1% or something like that? So he'd have to do... lemme think.... okay so I can't do math but he would have had to have done a LOT of surgeries in order to have an 'average' death rate like that. I'd definitely check with your local medical board and see if there are any complaints against him. I'm not sure that the licensing thing would show number of deaths, but they would show complaints that have been under investigation (and presumably if someone dies their family will investigate -- I hope?) I wonder how you can find out the real death rate of a surgeon?

Shrinking violet, don't they say that the first few weeks are for healing? Have you had a fill yet? I think that your weight loss is great. They tell us that the average is a couple pounds a week; sure, there are people who can lose faster, but you're just getting started. I know it's frustrating (or rather, I can imagine -- I'm not banded yet) but from where I stand, it sounds great! Are you exercising much? And drinking Water? The body needs water to flush fat and to let go of excess water weight (as weird as that sounds). So if you're not drinking enough, you might want to think about that. Best of luck to you, and I'm sorry you're feeling down. I hope you can feel good about your accomplishments; I think you're doing a wonderful job.

Aw, Ryan, I'm so sorry. I hear such pain in your "voice". I know MRSA is the bane of health care provider's existance; I hope so strongly that she doesn't have it and that it's "just" a run of the mill infection that can be treated with antibiotics. I'll keep you guys in my thoughts and hope for a quick and joyful homecoming.

Well, a year ago I was still in school, thinking I'd never get my nursing degree. And here I am now, working on New Year's Eve. Somehow that wasn't quite how I pictured it. Where is that glam life of a nurse? Where's Hot Lips Hoolihan? Instead I'm tired from working nights, in pain from carting patients around, but loving my holiday pay. So what are your aspirations for the upcoming year? How do you feel about the year that's just behind us? Those of you who are banded, did you set time-directed goals for weight loss? And if so, did you meet them? My goals for the year are go find a job I love (and pediatrics ain't it) and to get the band. Hopefully obtaining goal number one won't make goal number two difficult. I have a job interview for a position as a L&D nurse next week, and I'm hoping that a) I'll get the job (naturally), and that the benefits will include the surgery. If they don't, I may have to rethink a possible move. Looking forward to your responses, and I hope everybody's having a wonderful New Year's celebration.

Oh, ouch. Plantar fasciitis. Hurts like a sonofagun, doesn't it? I was diagnosed with it awhile back. The only thing I found that helps is ice (I froze soda bottles full of Water -- they fit nicely under my instep when I'm sitting at my computer). Stretching also helps a little, especially first thing when I wake up, before my feet hit the floor for the first time (my worst time). But the biggest thing will be weight loss, and so it's just one of the many reasons for me to get the lap band this year. Welcome to forum, Trish. I'm afraid I can't offer any insight on what it's like to be banded, but like you I'm on the process of getting the ball rolling to have the surgery.

Mary, you look maaaahvelous!

Aw, Ryan. How sad, scary and frustrating. I'm soooo sorry that you were disappointed by my profession; it makes me so angry that some of us make it so hard for people to get the help they need. Best of luck today with your drive; I hope your wife gets her catheter fixed with a minimum of pain and stress.

I've pretty much only ever driven European cars (SAAB's, Volvos and now a Beetle). I love them, but they're expensive, and horribly expensive to repair (which is why I learned some rudimentary car repair back when we were living on one income with a 15 year old car). The one Japanese 'reliable' car I bought -- a Subaru -- lasted only a year before giving up the ghost. I hated every moment of driving it; it was a total piece of junk. Other folks, though? Especially here in Alaska? Love their Subarus. Teresa, you're looking at used? Have you considered buying from a dealership? It's a little bit more but you usually can get a good warranty; we did that with our Dodge Caravan and it definitely came in handy. Our van is a 92 and I've been fairly happy with it. We've sunk a couple grand into it since buying it five years ago but it gets a LOT of use. And since we had the warranty, at least some of our expenses were paid for by the dealer. I don't know anything about Ford's, other than trucks; everybody in Alaska who drives a truck, seems to drive a Ford and loves it. Hopefully someone with more up close and personal experience can help you more than I can.

Hey, Petunia, welcome! It's nice to have another nurse here. There are several nurses in the house. I'm a pediatric/postpartum nurse (L&D wannabe) so for me I'm all about the OR fear. I've had two surgeries -- an ovarian cyst removal and my gall bladder removal -- but I'm still nervous about it. I had an anesthesia problem with my last surgery (not a reaction, just a timing issue -- they didn't put me out before giving me the paralytic and it scared the crap outta me) and so I'm sooooo scared to go under again. I'm hoping to get banded next year and my biggest fears are a) anesthesia and blood clots. As for the Protein powder, yes the aim seems to be high protein low carb. Because we're limited as to what we can get into us in a day, the advice is to focus on protein, then veggies, then the "fun stuff" (like Pasta, bread, etc) if we can tolerate it. Best of luck with approval for your boyfriend, and congratulations!

Raspy, Zoe? Hardly. I appreciate your perspective, as someone who hasn't "been there". Although I thought of myself as horribly fat in high school, the truth was I wore a size 14 (aaaahhhh, if only I had that body now...) I could only go on what I know of as a parent (and my schooling); I don't really have any experiences growing up as a fat kid/teen. I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did. It's interesting how, as parents, we push certain things in our kids' lives. My ex (the dad of my two older kids), because he dropped out of high school (despite being a national merit semifinalist -- which is supposed to be big hoop de doo) has been pushpushpushing my son to excel in school. He wants our son to succeed where he "failed", and brings his own huge, whopping issues about not finishing school and lost opportunities into that relationship. It took the "look, bucko, back off NOW" talk to get him to cool his jets so that my kid could find his way to figuring out his future. I firmly believe that, had he not backed off, my son Gareth would be actively pursuing a future as a fast food manager instead of looking at colleges. (Not that there's anything wrong with fast food management, mind you; I just hate to see anyone who has the potential and interest to do other things to not follow their dreams). Parenting is just plain hard sometimes. It's hard watching our kids not living up to their full potential, and I know I worry a lot about what kind of future my children will have. But I figure my job is to "wind 'em up and let 'em loose", giving them all the tools, love and support to believe in themselves and follow their bliss. What they do with that is up to them. But that sure as heck doesn't stop me from wishing they'd make certain choices, even while supporting them in finding their OWN way, not MY way. Congratulations on your weight loss, Zoe. It looks like things are going really well for you. I'm hoping to be on the "other side" by spring or summer of this year.

Hi Mark, Well, you asked, although I don't think you're going to like your response. I have a teenage son, so I know how they are, and basically in my experience, they'll only seek out and pursue what's important to them. My son didn't apply to colleges until he could choose what colleges to go to, and he only did that once we backed off and stopped having conniption fits when he mentioned things like becoming a male model or a rodeo clown; once we did that, he went gangbusters, and in fact I'm sitting here with his apps to Harvard, Princeton and Georgetown. (And with his test scores and grades, he stands a good shot at getting in). He's now frantic, desperate to get into the best schools and major in political science. Why? Because we backed off and let him choose his own destiny. What I read in your post is that your son's weight is more important to YOU than to HIM. If you push him, you will only make him rebel; he has to want to lose weight to make any lasting changes. He can't do it for you. And I'm afraid that if you shame him or make him feel bad about being fat, you'll only damage his self esteem. And good self esteem is, I believe, really important to taking the steps necessary to have a permant weight loss occur. If it were me, I'd just encourage him to exercise with you every day (heck, it's good for you, too, and you're setting a good example) and have only healthful foods in the house. You don't say what your food situation is like at home but if his "normal sized" sibilngs are allowed to eat junk food and he's judged for what he puts in his mouth, that again could shame him. I'm not saying you are doing this, and I hope you're not; but my grandparents did it to my mom, and she ended up weighing way over 400 pounds. So I'd just have healthful foods in the house, encourage regular exercise -- stressing the health benefits of regular exercise, not whether it leads to weight loss -- and as he feels better about himself, his body, etc. he may very well opt to "do something" about his weight. In the meantime, those changes will go very far to help him stay healthy. Studies have shown that a fat person who eats healthily and exercises (and yes, we exist) his similar risks to heart disease and cancer as a thin person. So while it's healthier to be thin, it's healthy to be active and eat nutritious foods, too. Regardless of one's weight. I'm a little confused, though. Were you thinking of kicking him out of the house because of his weight??? Please tell me I misread your post, because that seems unconscionably cruel. The only reason I could think of to kick my kids out are illegal activities, flagrant disregard for the rules, or being in their 20's with no real goals in life. He's still a kid, and needs your guidance and support -- not your shame. What would kicking him out of the house do? He wouldn't be exercising with you and would have to get a job which would cut into work out activities; also, he probably wouldn't be eating particularly well if he's like most teens left to their own devices. I only see it as a lose lose situation. And really, so what if he's fat? I've lived 40 years on this planet in a fat body (I'm arranging my surgery for next year) and in that time I have married my high school sweetie, birthed and raised three lovely, intelligent, insightful, saavy children who love their planet and each other. I graduated from nursing school at the top of my class while raising three kids and running a business. I've been a childbirth educator, labor coach, Girl Scout leader, volunteer for numerous organizations, and helped at my children's schools. My life is one hardly deserving of shame. But it was my parents telling me that my weight didn't matter -- that my character did -- which led me to strive for everything I could have in life. My weight, until recently, never got in my way. I worked out several days a week, I backpacked around Alaska, California and Washington state, I swam in lakes, rivers and pools, I bicycled, I even rode a Vespa scooter. The only reason I'm having trouble now is that I'm 40 and have an autoimmune disease; the combination of my weight, aging and the Sarcoidosis have finally started to catch up with me. I hardly consider the last 40 years "killing myself". But all of the crazy stupid diets I went on probably DID do some damage, which is why I stepped OFF the dieting treadmill and just focused on eating well and exercising. I didn't drop a pound but I felt really good. Your son is only 18, not 40, and establishing a healthy lifestyle -- regardless of what that does to his weight -- is far more important than buying into your obsession with his size. What he needs, in my opinion, is good information about healthy eating, exercise, and good role models. And he needs the space to decide how he wants to live his life. Now, if he's depressed, or has no real goals or anything, then by all means get the kid to a counselor. If he's eating crap, make it clear that he can't do that in the house and make him read "Fast Food Nation". But otherwise, his weight problem is HIS weight problem; I'm afraid you need to back off and deal with your own issues about his weight, and let the kid find his way. The more you pressure him, the more he will rebel, and it may cost you your relationship with him. Sorry to be so hard core, but I've seen parents do this to their kids -- out of love, don't get me wrong, I know you must love him very much, and your concerns are well justified -- and it never ends well. The best thing you can do is tell him you love him, that you're proud of him, and if he needs help he can come to you. And in the meantime, try to get him to exercise regularly so you guys can have quality bonding time together. Best of luck, Mark. I know it's tough, but really, as bad as it is being fat, it could be so much worse, you know? Try to focus on the good things about him to build his self esteem; he'll address his weight problem when he's ready. (BTW, I'm assuming he's been to a doctor and been checked out for any kind of endocrine problems??? Obviously that's the first order of business). Take care, and if he is interested in finding out about the lap band, then I hope he would post here and get his questions answered. But I wouldn't recommend pressuring him to have the surgery because there seems to be SOOOOO much that's all about compliance and working with the band; if he's not behind it 100% (or more), then I fear he could really damage himself.

I'm sure hoping it's not going to be an issue for me, Sonia. I have Sarcoidosis, which is an autoimmune disease -- very rare, where the white blood cells form granular lesions in various parts of the body (in my case, my lungs). It's possible to react to anything -- I mean, I react to hypoallergenic metals, go figure -- but the band (and other things put into people's bodies) is supposed to be non-reactive for the vast majority of people. What I seem to remember reading on the Inamed site is that it's contraindicated for people with connective tissue autoimmune diseases like Scleroderma. Here's what I found at their site. It's contraindication number 18. "You or someone in your family has an autoimmune connective tissue disease. That might be a disease such as systemic lupus erythematosus or scleroderma. The same is true if you have symptoms of one of these diseases. " My assumption -- and based on responses from surgeons I've talked to it's correct -- is that it's only some AI diseases that are the problem. I suppose it's possible that anything we do to the body can cause a flare up of an autoimmune disease, and I'm prepared for that. But it's my thought that in my case, shedding weight will make dealing with my Sarcoidosis much easier. Wish I had more information for you, Sonia. I'm interested, though, in whatever you can find out.

Hey Lisa darlin', I hope your port incision is looking better. Did the Benadry help? If so, that might indicate more of an allergic situation than an infectious one. Also, keep checking your temp, 'k? (I know, I'm SUCH a nag). I think that open wounds are probably more common than most people think; I know I've cared for my share of them (and the poor folks who had them). But they usually close much quicker than what we're seeing with Lisa. It's almost like her body needs it open for a reason -- like it needs a drain for that Fluid. That, of course, makes me wonder about putting a drain inside and closing the area around it. Obviously that's for a surgeon to decide, but it makes me wonder if that would be beneficial. The open wounds that I cared for all involved a wet packing material, which was then covered with dry gauze. We called them "wet to dry" dressing changes. I'm not going to go into detail here because of sensitive tummies, but changing out the packing actually seems to speed healing more than just covering it up. So I was kind of surprised in your case, Lisa, that they didn't continue doing that. But hey, I'm a fairly new nurse (I still have that new nurse smell, although after the last couple of shifts I've worked it's fading fast), so I admit there is lots I don't know, especially since my specialty is maternal child health, not surgery. Best of luck to you, darlin'. You're so unbelievably strong, you know that? And congratulations on the weight loss. You deserve it.

Oh, I can so relate. I want so desperately to be a midwife -- I (actually, literally) dream of delivering babies. I finally got my butt back to school to become a nurse, with the ultimate goal of being a midwife, if not a labor and delivery nurse. But after graduation I found out that they won't hire new grads into labor and delivery. Even though I've been a doula for 15 years, taught childbirth classes, and have been steeped in birthing for such a long time. So right now I'm doing my time until I can get into L&D. I was offered a position in pediatrics, and took it because my boss assured me that when I got a few months of experience under my belt, and a position opened, she'd move me into it. Well, guess what? At least one position has come and gone but because it's so hard to replace me at my current position, she won't move me into L&D. I'm an adequate pediatric nurse, but I'd make a fabulous L&D nurse because it's my passion. So yeah, I understand how you feel and empathize completely. I just have to hang onto my dream that someday, when the time is right, I'll be helping moms birth babies.

Michelle, how awful. I'm glad you figured out what the problem was, and that hopefully you're on the road to recovery. I wonder, do they ever use smooth muscle relaxants for esophageal spasms? A couple of years ago, out of the blue, I started having horrible spasms, couldn't swallow my own saliva (hey, sounds like a band experience, but I'm not banded yet so I think it was just stress). I was prescribed a smooth muscle relaxant specific for esophageal spasms and got IMMEDIATE relief. I took it for a week and have never had a recurrence. Do they ever prescribe such a thing for bandsters? Are esophageal spasms fairly common??

Penni, that tree is GORGEOUS! What a lovely tradition. Too bad I live so far away -- I'd love to come to your party. Make sure and take pictures when it's done, okay? So I can enjoy it vicariously? Best of luck to you tomorrow, Fran. I'll be thinking of you.

I love it too, but in December we should be up to our butt cheeks in beautiful, white, fluffy snow. Instead we have a thick layer of ice over everything, and it's pouring down rain. It doesn't get more "yuck" than that. I'm waiting for the frogs and locusts next.

Well said, darlin'. That's pretty much how it's been with that precocious daughter of mine. Just keep smiling and stick to my guns, even though I feel like falling apart. I sure could use an end to the rain we're having, though. Nothing lifts my spirits more than either a) sunshine, or snow. Right now it's just grey grey grey. It's enough to give you the blahs.

Oh, Michelle. I'm so sorry to hear that. My heart hurts for you. Please accept my best wishes for your family. I'll keep you all in my thoughts.

Penni, I just saw your comment agreeing with Leatha. I'll definitely try to contact that lady and see if I can be of help at all. She didn't seem terribly knowledgeable about medical stuff, so maybe someone who can "talk the lingo" can help. I'm a little concerned that they haven't ordered a scope for her already, but maybe she misunderstood the doctor. I'll definitely get in touch and see if I can help. In the meantime, I return y'all to your regularly scheduled thread wherein we're all wondering what on earth Margret's talking about.