Frustrated

Maybe it was also the fact that you were walking at the same time? I haven't been able to walk and eat or walk and drink at the same time since being banded.

I bought the Wii console for my little guy for Christmas last year. I have no problem parting with money for things for him. So I just need to get the fit board and game thingy. When I first wanted to get one it was impossible to find one in the stores because they were so popular, so I eventually gave up. I need help parting with more than $40 at a time on myself. :thumbup: My hubby grew up in the Brampton area of Toronto. That's close to where he's heading this weekend. His brother still lives in Georgetown (I think) and his sister will be visiting from Ottawa, so they're all getting together over the weekend. LMAO at Karri's Attack of the Terrorist Carrots. :w00t: I was worried about eating them myself. I bought some baby carrots over the weekend to give me a healthy snack choice. I've only eaten 3 or 4 at a time when I've snacked in case they decided to unleash their wrath on me as well. I figured 4 would be the limit I was willing to go in case of emergency evacuation. I also carry a sick bag with me for emergencies. One of those little brown lunch baggies.

I seriously need to get Wii-Fit. I've been meaning to buy one since you all started on it a year ago (or has it been longer?). Hubby is going home to Canada this weekend to finally pack up some things he's had in storage for almost 7 years. About time! While he's gone I may spoil myself by getting it. :thumbup: He never begrudges me any purchases, but I haven't yet been able to convince myself that even though I don't NEED it, it's still okay to buy it. Guilt trips are not limited to food choices in my silly head.

Hmmmm. This can be me sometimes too, and I've also taken to eating crackers to ease the hunger as a substitute for potato chips and not been able to keep down a proper meal later. I like your game plan to counter that. Maybe instead of reaching for a snack, I should plan on a small meal instead. My snacks yesterday were a healthier choice, but if I plan on it being a small meal rather than "snacking til I'm full", it may work out better for my head and my stomach. Thanks Karri. :wub:

Yes I do. Usually the first hiccup is my warning signal not to eat any more. Not even one bite. If I ignore the warning, I pay a big price for it. I don't burp as much as I used to, but I still have the bubbling sound in my upper chest first thing in the morning that sounds like a coffee percolator. Sometimes it will bubble away in the evening if I've gone a while without food. I think I had a decent food day today. I snacked what I think was quite a lot, but it was carrot, celery and tomato. Way better than cookies and chips, but perhaps it was still too much food. *shrug* I didn't get breakfast in until 11:30, then I had lunch (tuna salad) at about 3:30, then my snack demon stopped by to taunt me at about 4:30 and that's when I ate perhaps more than a cup of the veg I mentioned. I don't feel hungry enough for dinner tonight, so I think that's good. I got all my water in today too! :wub: I considered stepping on the scales in the morning to see how things are going..... but I don't want to be disappointed by no change or a rise. I know I've been better behaved, but that doesn't mean I'll be rewarded with instant results. If it's not a favorable outcome, I may look for comfort in junk food. It's probably best I wait until Monday though. When does our challenge end?

I don't know about Karri, but it does wonders for me. It's got to the point where whenever I feel kind of crappyfor any reason, not just TOM, I step on the treadmill for half an hour and it helps relieve it. It didn't work with my ear ache as walking fast seemed to jiggle around whatever was hurting inside. But otherwise I use exercise in the same way I used to use pain killers or just flopping down on the couch waiting for the pain to go away. As for being emotional and moody during TOM, well, I've yet to find a cure for that. :party: I had coffee this morning, but didn't manage to get any breakfast in. I've spent the past half hour trying to eat lunch - half a grilled chicken breast, a roma tomato, finely chopped celery and a tablespoon of thousand island dressing. It's slow going, but I can't make myself go any faster or it'll get stuck and I'll have to bring it up again. I'm not even halfway through yet. :thumbup: I think I'll put it in the fridge for when the hunger demon comes to wage battle in a couple of hours instead of force feeding myself.

Weighed myself this morning and I held at 179. I'm not going to complain about that as I expected a rise with the meds I'm on. I FEEL bloated. I had a decent food weekend. I had bad thoughts, but they were only thoughts, I didn't succumb to the demons. I feel good about the week, even if it doesn't look like I made any progress on the scales. The mind battles were won. :party:

My official start weight is 179 for the challenge. That's what I weighed on Tuesday. Normally Monday would be my start day, but with the holiday this past week I didn't get around to jumping on them. I'm trying not to be addicted to the scales like I used to be. I was on them every time I put something in my mouth when we first started. I cut back my addiction to once a day about a year out and then when I fell off the wagon I stopped stepping on them altogether because I just didn't want to know. Deny, deny, deny. I'm going to hold off until Monday morning. Hopefully it's at least stayed stable with the meds. I feel bloated because of them, so maybe it's not a good idea to step on them and depress myself. I'm glad I took up this challenge. It kept me honest today. I was SO tempted to munch on my little guy's lunchbox snacks, which has become a bad habit of mine, but you girls have kept me strong. I don't want to be yelled at by Janet. :thumbup::wink:

Morning ladies. I'm feeling a little better today. I got to do my usual 30 mins on the treadmill and it felt great! The antibiotics must be doing their job. You're all so good logging your food. I feel guilty about that. That's probably a good thing though. It'll make me do what I need to do and account for everything I put in my mouth. Guilt trips leave a bad taste in my mouth. :smile: Going to have my morning coffee and might even contemplate breakfast or a protein shake. Phyl, I don't have a hat problem, I seem to have a shoe problem. I don't own a million pairs, but some of my "fat" shoes no longer fit. How could I lose weight in my feet? They're not only slimmer, they're not as long as they used to be. :smile:

:smile: Looks like there are 3 of us in the 180 club. Well..... I was 179 on Monday, but I've been given antibiotics for my ear infection, so I expect it to go up a few pounds over the next week or so. :sad: But I'm still up for the challenge. Just because I'm on meds doesn't mean it's an excuse to slack off. Got most of my water in today. I have another 8 oz to go, but I should be able to get through that in the next couple of hours. Kari, I think you'll have to drop by to remind us every day that you're ignoring us. We're a forgetful bunch. :smile:

Good morning ladies. I'm not feeling so great today. I thought I was coming down with an ear infection yesterday afternoon because it was beginning to hurt. It was my right ear, which is strange because typically it's my left that gives me all the problems. Anyway, I felt like crap and spent most of the afternoon and evening lying on the couch trying to convince it to go away. Not too successful, but I did manage to get most of my water in. 40oz yesterday. Should have been another 8 but I'll strive for that today. I'm still not feeling so great though. I've had coffee this morning and tried to eat some cereal, but the act of eating seemed to aggravate my ear. Maybe I need to switch to mushies so I don't have to chew. I didn't exercise last night or this morning because I felt like crap. That's made me feel even worse. Guilt trip and everything. I may go for a walk a little later on to at least get out and get some fresh air.

I'm up for the 5 lbs challenge. :cry_smile: It's probably exactly what I need right now. I haven't even started on my water yet. :thumbup: I've had a protein shake and a glass of cranberry juice, but I don't count those. So off I go to guzzle. Oh, and congrats Karri. Extra cash is always a welcome friend. Glad things are going so well for you.

If it's any consolation Karla, I'm envious of your yard work. I would much rather spend all day working in the yard than an hour doing housework. Sounds crazy, but I adore pottering around outdoors cleaning up the yard, planting and nurturing things. Living in an apartment I don't have that luxury. I have a few pots out on our balcony and am currently mothering some tomato, basil and a few other herbs. I was also given a Calla Lily a couple of years ago and got a lovely bloom out of it just last month. Done my morning workout. Now I need to go make a protein shake and start on my water intake.

Thanks Phyl. You're looking fantastic in your avatar pic! You've lost a lot of weight and years. I'm looking forward to reading about your summer antics again this year. Congrats Karla. It's always exciting and encouraging when you see the weight continue to drop. Good for you. I love it when a plan comes together. Aw Janet. I wish we could have a pet. Dog or cat. But we live in a smallish 2 bedroom apartment and if we didn't have a 10 year old, perhaps we would. But I think it's unfair to any potential pet we have to crowd them that way. I can't wait to get our own place so we can invite a new furry family member into our lives. I totally understand where you're coming from with Andrew bringing a new dog home. As much as I'd love a pet right now, I'd be angry too. Just because you love animals doesn't mean it's a good idea to bring them into your home when there's no room and other established pets to think of first. Well....... I had a pretty good food day today. I've decided to switch to protein shakes in the morning to start my day, then have a small bowl of cereal for lunch. It's tough going foodwise until about 3pm, but I should be able to manage those things to keep my metabolism ticking over. I've also got to try to have an early-ish dinner. I've slipped into not eating until 9 or 10 at night when I get home from the gym or martial arts class, then I'm in bed at 11:30. I don't think it's a good idea to be eating so close to bedtime. But it's tough adjusting to the times. I did okay with breakfast and lunch, but trying to eat dinner earlier than normal wasn't very successful. I shall try again tomorrow. I've thought about an exercise target in my signature like I used to have to spur me on to getting my butt moving, but I don't really need it because exercising has become my favorite hobby, so to speak. However, I think I DO need to get back on Water Patrol. I don't drink nearly as much as I should. Well..... off to bed. See you all again in the morning. :mad5:

Oh. Thank you Karla for the e-mail. If I hadn't seen it sitting in my Inbox I probably would not have logged in again today. :smile:

Good morning ladies. :smile: I know, I'm terrible for checking in regularly. I had a lovely restful time over Memorial Day weekend though. I didn't overeat. Too much. I had a couple of beers yesterday and they were wonderful, but two was enough for me. I'm down another pound this week. :eek: I may not be logging in on a regular basis, but the forum is always on my mind these days and at least keeping me pretty honest. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend.

On a positive note, I lost 2lbs this week. :laugh: I'm very happy with that and quite surprised as I had a setback early on. I get to change my ticker and see it go down again. That huge spike up was an unpleasant sight.

I can't put it any better than Karri has done, but I'll add my 2 cents for whatever it's worth. I read all of your questions yesterday and thought and thought how to respond to you. The more I thought, the more it occurred to me that I couldn't come down on you any harder than you came down on yourself. None of us can. The person who hates and reprimands us the most and harshest is the person we see every morning in the mirror. It's not Janet, or Karri, or Phyl or anybody else. And I thought to myself, how can I motivate her to stop thinking like that when I can't even do it for myself sometimes. But it's not like this every day. Sometimes it's only 1 or 2 days out of a month. But we don't or won't see all the good work we put into bettering ourselves. We only focus on the negative. It's SO easy being fat, staying fat and getting fatter. This war we fight with our weight is just that. A war. And nobody goes into a war winning each and every battle. We have to learn to take the losses with the wins. We won't win every battle, but we need to focus on the entire war, not just the losses. It's a bitter pill to swallow and leaves a horrible taste in our mouths for ages when we succumb to the evil foods we just can't seem to get out of our lives. But rather than beating ourselves up over moments of weakness, we have to recognise that weakness, stop and start over again before it gets out of control. I eat a cookie and feel like crap. So to punish myself I eat another cookie. And another. And another. Where does that get me? A whole lot of punishment and further behind in the war. Okay. So I lost that battle. Instead of going into the next one depressed and ready to lose, I need to tell myself "Cookie battle is done with and behind me. I'm fighting with the protein shakes this time around." That's an easier win because the protein shakes are on my side and fighting with me, rather than against me. I'll do battles with the cookies again. I know I will. I also know that sometimes I'll lose those battles. But it's okay. I will win the war if I just hang in there and continue to fight. And so will you Steph. So will we all. *big hugs*

Yes and no. Not only do you have to relearn WHAT you eat, you have to relearn HOW you eat. There are times when I'm absolutely starving. I know I have to chew, chew, chew my food and I do. But because I'm so hungry, I'll eat too quickly. By the time I realize my mistake, I've got that bowling ball caught in my chest. :tt2: The same thing will happen if I'm not paying attention to my eating because I'm reading or watching TV at the same time. I used to be like this. I still am to some extent. Maybe my body has just gotten so used to not being able to get a lot down in the morning that it's decided breakfast is not an option. :scared2: I drink a cup of hot coffee first, then try to have some oatmeal or cream of wheat half an hour later. The warm fluids seem to open things up a bit. Everyone's different. My toughest time of the day is between 3 and 7pm, whereas someone like Janet has a hard time late at night. So we have to plan our calories and meals accordingly and make sure we've banked a few extra to help us get through those tough moments. If I'm going to fall off the wagon, it'll typically be during the afternoon snack time. I also find I'm tighter when Aunt Flo comes to visit. There's at least one day when I have to revert back to liquids and mushies. I'm still trying to figure it out myself some days. I've come to accept that as with a lot of things, it's always changing. Some days it will allow me to eat more, other days it won't. If I had the magical formula that would let me know what to expect it would make this a whole lot easier. It does get easier to learn to read your body, but even now I don't discover until I'm in pain what it's trying to tell me. Again it could go back to the time of day for you. Or the time of month. Or what it is you're trying to eat. Yes. I still have hit and miss with chicken. I'm more successful getting chicken thighs to go down and stay down than chicken breasts. Maybe it's because it's more moist and not as stringy as breasts can get. But I have to be careful and make sure I only eat a little at a time. Sometimes it can take me about an hour to eat a chicken thigh because I can only take one bite at a time and let it make it's way all the way through before taking another bite. Otherwise I can feel it start to stack up like you said. And when I'm really, really, REALLY hungry, this is hard for me because I want to satisfy that hunger NOW, not over a period of an hour. So I get frustrated at times and reach for foods that I know won't get stuck. My sliders. You'll discover them if you haven't already. All mine are evil. I haven't been able to find a food that will slide through that's good for me. I can relate to that. I used to do the same thing. Sometimes I wonder if I just want to taste the food in my mouth with no need to swallow it. I'll do that with celery because I really do like it, but the fibres in it don't like me. I try not to do it too often though as I think it's a bad habit to fall into. I've taken to chopping up my celery really small so that the fibres aren't as long, but nothing beats biting off a big chunk and chewing through it sometimes. Hope I've answered all your questions. I'm still working on calculating my calories every day. I'm SO lazy. I know I'm doing better these past couple of days, but I don't know for sure. I'm taking baby steps. Getting back here on a regular basis is the first one. I know I need to get with the program in more ways, but I worry that if I take on too much at once, I'll give up altogether if one small thing fails. Fight one crisis at a time. :wub:

Good morning all. Here I am checking in. Thinking about breakfast but not really in the mood to eat. I need to get something down or I'll be super hungry later in the day. The thought of any kind of food just makes me want to crawl back into bed though. I'm feeling underslept, even though I slept well last night. Is 9am too early to take a nap? A protein shake would be a good idea. I shall see if I have any in the pantry. Otherwise I'll try and make my way through some cream of wheat. Be good, be strong, behave. :tt1:

Okay I'm going to try this again! *siiiiiigh* I really need to log in every day to keep out of mischief. I tried clearing out my cupboards of junk that had made it's way back since I fell of the weight loss wagon and :w00t: I discovered Christmas treats I had hidden from myself in January. Needless to say some of them got stuffed in my mouth and I felt too ashamed to even read the messages here. Where the hell is that kind of attitude going to get me? I'm ashamed but I think I'm more mad at myself than anything else. I can do this. I WAS doing this. Not on my own, but with all of my BandSisters. And instead of going where I could be helped, I listened to the devil and ate choccies and junk. Well, the junk has FINALLY been cleared out. I went through the cupboards and tossed it all out and threw the garbage bags in the dumpster in our apartment complex right away so I couldn't go rummaging back through it before it was put out to be picked up this evening. I still enjoy exercising. I like it a lot. But I've started using my daily exercise as an excuse to be able to eat more. Old habit. Old bad habits. I have no problem at all putting time into my exercise regime, so why can't I use a smidgen of that will power when it comes to food? I don't want to eat bad stuff. I try to eat well and when that food doesn't go down I reach for the sliders I know will have no problem. Why can't grilled chicken or turkey be a slider? :thumbup: Candace, yanno, you may be right about being too tight. But I'm so damned scared of loosening things up and being able to eat TOO much. I don't stuff myself with burgers and fries because I physically can't. With my struggle with will-power at the moment, I worry it'll be a slippery slope I go down if I'm able to sink my teeth into a foot long sub sandwich and know it won't hurt. When I eat badly, it's 4 or 5 cookies, or a snack bag of potato chips or a chocolate bar. It's not a packet of cookies, a family pack of chips or 4 or 5 chocolate bars like it used to be. For that I'm thankful. But it's the start of a very, very dangerous road to go down and I'm scared. I wish I could have a love affair with fish like Janet does. I need to get back to the beginning again. To where I was discovering this journey. To being overweight, but seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and keeping up the pace. I've put sunglasses on and sat down on the tracks. Karla, it's nice to meet you. I'm glad you're here and hope that you too will help me by letting me be part of your journey too. I used to like going hand-in-hand with others as they won their little victories and fought their little battles.

I stayed up late last night watching Mavs vs Nuggets and am tired. I was really, really tempted to eat something naughty because after all I was getting a fresh start again today. But then I thought to myself "Why?" That's an excuse fat people make! "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet." So it was just soup and 2 slices of German Wheat toast for me and that was perfect. This morning I have no appetite but I need to eat something to get me started for the day. Maybe I'll see if I still have some Creamed Wheat in the pantry or make a protein shake. I think part of my problem is not eating at proper times. Then eating poorly when I do. So my metabolism is screwed up. Thank you all for still being here for me. :mad2:

Hi ladies. It's me. I'm back from a long hiatus. Too long. Thanks to Kari and Candace who left me best wishes on my Facebook Page. I've been meaning to come back and don't have any decent excuses why I haven't. Or even why I disappeared. Things have been up and down for me. Mostly down, but unfortunately not on the scales. :sad: I disappeared as I became quite down emotionally. My husband's employer had promised to transfer us down to Australia where I have a lot of family and I was really looking forward to it and about to make the announcement on here. Then all of a sudden they changed their mind because they decided it was time to tighten their financial belts. Understandable, but hurtful to me nonetheless. I had really invested emotionally into moving there only to have it all yanked from under me. A couple of months ago I got a UTI and that really knocked me back. I couldn't exercise, I couldn't eat right and I was on antibiotics which retained both water and weight. :sad: I'd managed (finally) to get my weight just under 170 before disappearing. Now it's back up to 182 and it's really got me down. Do I need a fill? No. I still have times when I struggle to get any food in at all. I also have nights every once in a while where I will wake up choking on my spit. I worry that if I get a fill, even a small one, it'll stop me from getting any food at all in. But I've been making some very bad choices. I haven't been drinking properly. When I can't get chicken and veges to go down and stay down, I can get chips or buttered toast to move on through no problem. I'm often really hungry and try to make good choices, but the good foods don't want to stay down. The bad ones always do. So once again I have come to the conclusion that I need help. I need people who understand. I need mothering (*kisses Janet and Phil*) and I probably need a swift kick up the butt too. :tt2: Where else can I get all those things but here? Sooooooooooooooooo, starting tomorrow it's back to Daily Plate for me. I've still been keeping up with my exercising so that's one battle I won't have to fight. Now I have to go and change my ticker. :thumbup:

Uh oh. I'm not a QVC girl but I do love to shop around online. Now I have yet another site to waste my time on. :thumbup: Okay, so enough kidding around with this weight loss thing. I am going to start back again today. Now! I'm sure I've just been waiting around for Janet to come back and give me one of her "mom" speeches. No more excuses. I've had my usual coffee so far this morning and a Starbucks Frappuccino drink 9.5 oz with 180cals. Not a good choice so far.

Try to sleep a little more upright for a while. Also try chewing on some papaya enzyme before bed. Gas X may work as well.