Frustrated

No I know this discussion isn't to start a fight or anything. I think it's good that we can talk from our hearts here and know that it's not a personal attack. The reason I feel I have control over my food issues is actually due to Karri. Watching her go through this journey and fight damn hard for every pound she has lost has been both inspiring and worrying. She spurs me on to do well each day, but she's also worried me when she's continued to exercise when she's injured, cried when she's looked at restaurant menus, had to deal with moron doctors, passed out in the bath tub, and on top of it all is forever worried about every single thing that goes in her body. It is a control thing. But our bands are there to control our intake physically. We still have to do the mental work on our own. If getting a small fill will give her the mental support she needs, then that's one thing. But she'll also continue to lose weight unless she increases her intake of calories. The fill is supposed to DEcrease your intake. When we feel hungry we need to ask ourselves if we are physically hungry or mentally hungry. You mention yourself that you still want to eat even when you're full. So that's mental hunger. Your band only stops you physically. When we're hungry we have to ask ourselves why. Is it a physical need, an emotional need, a mental need or a habitual need that wants to be fulfilled? Speaking about control; I was in an abusive relationship for over 20 years. The only thing I had control over was what I ate. I was told what to wear, what to do, when to do it, what to think, when to think it, when to do nothing, what to say..... ad infinitum. The only reason I got out of that trap was because my partner was physically removed (imprisoned). Otherwise there's a good chance I would still be there. Or dead. I worked hard at gaining back my mental and emotional control after that relationship, and watching people like Karri work so hard to maintain control reminds me of the work I had to put in to gain that emotional freedom even after I was physically free. l promised myself that I would never allow myself to be controlled again. I only realised in the past few months that food was controlling me and I needed to put a stop to it. At the end of the day she needs to find what works for her. And I support her in her decision making. But it doesn't stop me worrying about her and voicing that concern. :frown:

I can't believe you're saying that either. :confused2: It concerns me. On the one hand you're struggling to get all your calories in and are continuing to lose weight when you should at the very least be maintaining. On the other hand you're worried that you're hungry too soon after eating. I wish that you weren't so obsessed with food. It isn't healthy. :embaressed_smile: You have to look at the end goal here and realise there needs to be a point in time when you're not a prisoner to food. You still very much are. Yes, your band is a tool that needs to be used, but remember what it is used for. It's a weight loss tool, not an appetite control tool. It's never been a brain band. That's the biggest complaint of most of us. If we could band our heads it would make it so much easier. Look at what's triggering your hunger. Is it boredom? Change of routine? Are you more susceptible to hunger at certain times? Hormones? There are so many triggers. I know I have several. The hard part is learning how to react to these triggers. Try to make changes there instead. If you look at the logistics, you don't need a fill. You're already under your goal weight and continuing to lose. What would it accomplish other than further weight loss?

She needs to dump her personal trainer. I understand that at times you need a tough motivator. But the role of a motivator is to encourage and inspire you to work harder, not to make you feel like crap. Take Jillian Michaels for instance from Biggest Loser. Now she yells at you like a drill sargeant while you're working out, but she also gives detailed and good advice with regard to diet and stuff when the workout is done. She doesn't highlight what you're doing wrong, she gives you advice on how to make things work better for you. I think my pouch test went okay. I actually found the liquid days kind of tough to begin with, but easier to tolerate than the food days. I struggled finding things to eat. Most of the time I had to force myself to eat cottage cheese, fish or chicken. I just didn't feel like eating it. It's not that I don't like them, I just didn't want to eat them. It made me take a good look at my eating habits. I'm not stuffing myself with bad foods, but I'm not always making the right decisions when I do eat either. It was a good eye opener for me. I'm back to regular eating now. As regular as I can be. I know I've got to try and eat more Protein, but I'm glad to be able to get fruits and vegetables back into my diet. If I didn't have a protein shake that I like so much it would be more of a concern. The pouch test got me back on track again. I think I'll do it every once in a while to reinforce the basic rules of my band. :thumbup:

I'm not sure why you need to take liquid form and can't go for chewables, but anyway..... When you're given the list of things you need, ask for a list of places to get them. You're not the first one who has been given this list and for sure they'll have the info you need. Don't ever hesitate to ask your medical team a question. You won't be the first one to ask it. And the only stupid question is the one that goes unasked. :smile2: I take Flintstone chewable Vitamins. Just looking at the packaging now, it has 60mg of Vit C, 200mg of Calcium, no mention of Zinc but I know there is another variety in the Flinstone brand that has Zinc added. I just don't like them. :crying: Check out the ingredients of a few brands and see if you can find one that covers all of your requirements. That way you only need to buy one bottles rather than one for each thing on your list. I've tried the gummi bear kind, but they sort of stick to my teeth and I don't like that. As for Protein drinks, that's a very personal choice. Personally I don't like Isopure drinks. They coat my tongue and mouth in an unpleasant way. But many other people really enjoy them and find their favorite flavors quickly. It's trial and error until you find one that you like; or at least one that you don't hate. There are often sample packs of powdered Protein Drinks that you can purchase to get a taste it before buying a big container. I've been fortunate enough to find a Vitamin/Health food store that will allow me to return something new within a week if I don't like it to exchange for something else. The things you need for pre and post op seem daunting and expensive. But if you take into consideration the money you spend on junk food that you shouldn't be eating, it more than evens things out. At least that's been my experience.

Today has been a good day. :biggrin2: I exercised as usual this morning, cleaned house for a little bit then headed off to Aikido class. I stuck around there for an extra hour working through some things. I have a test coming up in the next month or so, so I have to start preparing now to make sure I know my stuff. Came home and we went to Starbucks for a little bit. I had an iced cafe mocha, which probably wasn't the best choice, but it was wonderfully delicious and I don't feel guilty about drinking it. Then we came home and I asked hubby if he could spend some time with me in the yard going over some of the weapons work I need to know for my test as well. He was pooped after 40 mins and I wanted to keep going but didn't want him to feel guilty about bailng out on me. So I came indoors and read for a while. I had a protein drink for brekkie. I may have had a cup of coffee too, I don't remember. :mad: Didn't feel hungry enough to eat for lunch so just had some water. Had the iced mocha in the afternoon and just now tried to eat some tuna. I could only get a couple of mouthfuls in before feeling full. I've gone way past my water requirement for the day and I may have another protein shake a little later just because I think I should. So it's been a good food day and I've had lots of energy to boot. I wish I had more days like this. :biggrin: I think I would consider myself a gym rat now too like Janet. I force myself to stay out of it on Sundays but look forward to going every other day. It gets me out of the house and is "me" time. I've become very protective of that time alone. I get awfully cranky if I miss a session now.

Hey Phyll, Yesterday was a little tougher for me. I was hungry from about 1pm on but that eased up at around 7. So only 6 hours of torture. :cool: I'm looking forward to today and having some food. I know I won't be able to get anything in this morning, but I'm definitely having either scrambled egg or tuna for lunch. :crying: I think this test has been good for me. It's made me realise that I've kind of slipped a little and reached for food when it wasn't necessary to do so. I've taken to having a Protein Shake when things are a little tougher instead of reaching for a 100 calorie snack pack. Even though I only have one per snack, I may be snacking far too much during the day. No more M&Ms for me. :smile2: It was just that one pack that my son didn't like, there aren't any in my house. But that's not to say I didn't think about wanting some all day. As for the bacon. I like the microwave variety. Before I used to like mine cooked in butter and soft, but now I like this microwave stuff and cooked longer than usual until it's almost burned. :thumbup: Then I'll pat it dry with a paper towel until it's really crunchy and there's no moisture at all. I started eating it like this after my last fill. I was really tight and could hardly get any food down. Well, Cookies and potato chips would slide through. So I wanted something a little better for me and less addictive than that so I switched to eating my bacon that way. Yes. "Rediscovering" my band is a good way to put it. Thanks for getting me onto this Phyll. I'll try not to stick you with any pins today. :smile: Hope it didn't hurt too much yesterday.

50lbs?!? Wow Marcy. It honestly looks like more than that. You're looking great. :biggrin2:

Isn't it weird how things change like that? For so long we lived to eat. Congrats on the a/c acquisition. :biggrin2: I probably would've done the same thing in your situation. When errors like that occur I generally weigh things up and ask myself if I could deal with the guilt trip. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. I would've been able to confidently live with my ill-gotten a/c in that situation.

I actually wasn't kidding with the bacon. :sleep::eek::confused: I figured it had Protein in it. And if you cook it long enough it would be firm. Making it a day 4 food. Or that it was (originally) white meat, making it a day 5 food. *crosses bacon off the list* :drool:

Well I survived day 1 of the pouch test. Well, almost. I cheated and had some Peanut Butter M&Ms. My son doesn't like peanut butter and had one of those mini packs that a friend gave him. I was reading a book and he tossed them in my lap saying "I don't like these". Without thinking I opened them and started munching. It wasn't until I tossed the bag in the trash and looked at it that I realised what I'd done. :wink2: So the Phyl gets to stick me with a pin. :w00t: Karri - that ER doctor is an idiot! What the flip does it matter WHERE you faint? :tt2:##$@#*!!! If you can, call your doc tomorrow and tell her what he told you. Mention the test results and things and ask if you can get her opinion. With any luck they'll be able to give you input over the phone to save a visit. Steph - I have the same problem buying for my hubby. It was his birthday yesterday. He's very particular. For instance if he says he'd like a blue coffee mug, it'd have to be a certain shade of blue and made out of a particular type of ceramic. So now I give him gag gifts. Yesterday I got him a gift certificate with a little note that said "Nothing says I love you like a $5 gift certificate from K-Mart. :biggrin2: " He loved it. It was ironic that ended up spending $1,900 at the dentist on myself to top things off. :tt1: I love that he enjoys my warped sense of humor though. :tt1: Well, a cup of soup and some more Water and perhaps some water to tie me over for the rest of the evening. I wanted to ask..... is microwave bacon okay for day 4 and/or 5 on the pouch test thingie?

I've just started eating cantaloupe this week. I notice a couple of people on here have had probs with watermelon. I only eat a couple of pieces at a time for the sweet taste and to satiate my thirst. It's nice, but I don't want to overdo it and have it get stuck. I've had oranges a couple of times; chewed out all the juice and some of the pulp and spit out the rest. :redface: I'm just slightly paranoid about getting some fibrous things stuck. :smile2: Mostly it's trial and error. See if something works for you.

Wow you have a better memory than me. :biggrin2: I'd forgotten that I'd made up all those little rules for myself to get into drinking my water. Read a post - take a sip of water, read a chapter in my book - sip of water, an ad break on TV - sip of water. :thumbup: It's second nature for me now to have my water bottle with me so I'd forgotten what I used to have to do to make myself drink. That's magnificent progress! I'm with you on sticking with what's working at the moment. You can always switch to the pouch test if things change. It's so good to see you on top of things again. :biggrin2: I love when a plan comes together. :smile2: Karri - I seriously worry about you. :eek: The fact that you have a shadow eases my concerns. This heat is a killer, and the fact you have no A/C just astounds me. I was out in our yard the other day practising some Aikido with my hubby (I had my water bottle) and felt great and then all of a sudden my energy just disappeared and I needed to sit down. I felt like passing out as well. That's me and I haven't gone through surgery! You need to treat yourself as an invalid because right now you are. I know your doc said you can walk around for 20 mins twice a day, but she probably didn't realise you had no A/C so your core temp would no doubt be higher than if you were snuggled up to a cooler. T-A-K-E I-T E-A-S-Y. I'm starting the pouch test today. Liquids all day for me today and tomorrow. Sounds simple enough. I can probably handle that. If I can't I'll make a kewpie doll of Phyl and stick pins in it for exercise and enjoyment for suggesting it. :ohmy: I decided to go with the partial dentures yesterday. Denise, I know implants are the better choice, but I just can't bring myself to pay out that much money. I need something now. Partials are a fair compromise but they need to be a temporary fix-it. I will go for the implants at a later date when I can afford to spread the cost out over time. Thanks everyone for your input. I really do appreciate objective opinions. I haven't been able to eat cereal since I was banded; with the exception of creamed wheat. I can't get any food in me in the morning's anyway. But there have been occasions that I've contemplated cereal for dinner. So maybe I'll invest in some of that Kashi everyone raves about while they're on special. OH, that reminds me. I wanted to thank you again Phyl for suggesting those papaya enzymes a while back. I love them. At times they're just what I need when I've had a PB session or my band is extra tight. They taste great and seem to pull me out of the I-feel-like-crap feeling. They're magic pills. It may save you from a couple of voodoo pins should this pouch test drive me insane. Maybe..... maybe not.:redface:

I'm awake too! :biggrin2: I'm off to the dentist though this morning. The crown on my tooth in front has fallen off so I need to get it fixed. I also need to get some partial dentures. On top of eating badly for years and years, I was also very careless when it came to dental health. I avoided dentists because they hurt me. Well...... now I'm paying the price for it. A couple of years ago I had to have 8 of my back teeth removed. 2 upper left, 2 upper right, 2 lower left, 2 lower right. As a result of that, I've done all of my chewing on my front teeth. This has put pressure on them and forced them to do a job they're not meant for. Not to mention that for the past year I've had to chew, chew, chew to a pulp it's increased the workload considerably. Last night my front crown buckled under the pressure yet again. It's the second time in as many months and my dentist said I NEED to get some teeth in back or the problem will never go away. I called an oral surgeon to ask about dental implants; where the put a post in your gum/bone and add a crown to it. Well I need 4 of them. And the cost per tooth starts at $1,940. :thumbup: My insurance doesn't cover it. I really can't afford almost $8,000 right now. And even if I could, I'd be spending it on a TT, not teeth. Partial dentures are going to set me back around $1,500 for both upper and lower. My hubby wants me to get the implants. I really can't justify spending that much on myself again. Not with the cost of lap band and my boob job last year. I don't even want to spend on dentures, but it's more of a necessity for the sake of my remaining teeth that I am. So that's my fun plans for the day. I'll be thinking of you all while I'm drooling and spitting in the dentist's chair. :tt2:

His mother is German. When they were divorced in 2002, she took both kids (son Sean now 13, daughter Sabrina now 11) back to her native homeland. She's refused to let them travel since then saying they were too young to do so on their own despite my husband offering to pay for an airline escort to accompany them here and back. But now Sean has shown a desire to visit so there are no excuses. I'm glad he's coming. I'm just a little nervous. I don't have a problem writing things down but face-to-face is different. It's easier once I get to know someone. The hard part is getting to know them. You're all family here so I feel comfortable ranting and raving and letting it all hang out. I don't want to scare the poor guy. I don't want to pretend to be someone I'm not. I don't want him to feel obligated to like me just because I'm his dad's wife. Right now I'd settle for not making him uncomfortable. :thumbup: Yes. I know I will make it there. I remember my doc telling me that I should expect to take 2 years to lose 60lbs. I was over the moon with that advice and never imagined I would be here less than a year later. I've enjoyed my break from working this weight off, but it's time to get back into things so it's not hanging over my head like a forgotten chore.

Hello everyone :seeya: I've been reading a little bit of the thread when I have time (when Bratman allows me to use my computer :wink:) so I've managed to keep up with most of you. Karri you look great. I'm glad you're pleased with your results and your hubby sounds like a keeper. I'm envious that you've managed to get your TT done, it's next on my "to do" list, but thrilled for you nonetheless. :biggrin2: Ssankofa - I'm glad you're still hanging in there with us. Sounds like you're working hard at making this work for you. It's a tough battle but we're all fighting the same fight. :smile2: Phyl - you're looking great! The weight may not be coming off like you want, but holy cats you're looking good. It must be that Wii! I'm still trying to work on getting one of those things. I'm going to use your testimonial as a selling point. :thumbup: Steph - I don't know what sometimes triggers the eat-everything-that-doesn't-move thing either. I just thank my lucky stars that those days are the exception rather than the rule now. A year ago every day was like that. I've noticed the more active I am, the tighter my band will be and it slows down my eating; or at least the ability to eat, the desire can still be there. So I try to stay active. It's tough with this weather though because sitting by the pool all day just doesn't figure into that equation somehow. :wink2: But it does keep me on track with my water. Janet - wowsers. The difference in your pictures is astounding. It looks like you've lost a generation. Not that you look BAD in your before pics, but you look like you could be your mother. :tongue2: And I mean that in the nicest way. You know I love you. :wub: My stepson arrives from Germany for 3 weeks at the same time you guys will be at MoA. He's 13. I'm a little nervous. I've never met him. I don't even speak on the phone to him. We were hoping to go out to San Fran during his stay but it doesn't look like that'll happen because of finances and timing. But we have plans to go down to Houston to see the Space Centre there and maybe across to San Antonio to visit the Alamo and whatever else is there. I wish I had the people skills my son has. He can strike up a conversation with anyone and carry on like he's known them for years. I'm not really a people person. :confused2: Plus I'm the evil step-mother. I was thinking of doing this pouch test as well. Tomorrow is my hubby's birthday though and his boss has decided to splurge on dinner for us. So maybe I'll start it on Thursday. My scales haven't really moved, but my body has changed. I want to get to my goal weight. I don't need to get any more exercise in because I'm doing plenty of that and loving it. I've taken time off the whole "watch everything you put in your mouth" kind of mentality to get my head straight and I feel I've done that. I don't feel a prisoner to food any more. I'm actually confident that maintenance isn't going to come at the cost of my sanity like I once thought. I've been doing it for about a month now and haven't felt any guilt about splurging on a cookie. I can eat one cookie, ONE, and be satisfied. :ohmy: I remember when I wasn't satisfied until I'd eaten a whole package or more. But I have to finish what I started and I need to get to my goal weight for my sanity. If I don't I'll just feel like a failure and at some point it'll eventually start eating away at me and depress me again. So I need to get back to work and drop this last 20lbs. I don't need another fill. I'm quite satisfied with about a cup of food. I just have to make different choices as to what I'm eating.

Hi Lynda, Welcome to the band club. :biggrin2: Mostly on the first visit they'll talk about the procedure; what to expect, what not to expect. They'll probably give you a time-line as well; how long it'll take for insurance approval, psyche evaluation, blood tests, sometimes a pre-op diet, etc. A lot of things seem to depend on your insurance company. Some take longer than others and some are more strict than others when it comes to requirements. For me, the most frustrating and stressful part of this whole thing was dealing with the insurance company. The operation and tests were a walk in the park compared to them. :tt1: But don't let them discourage you. A lot of times they can be strict to weed out the ones who aren't serious about it and are just going for it because it seems to be the latest fad. :tt1: I was insulin resistant prior to surgery as well. I also had PCOS and problems with my right knee because of the extra weight I was carrying. I knew my health was quickly declining and something serious needed to be done. I tried all the diets and fad miracle pills to no avail. It's been almost a year since I was banded and I no longer take any medication for insulin resistance. In fact, I was off that stuff (Metformin) within a month after surgery. The PCOS is significantly better as well. I will still have an occasional month where my period is painful, but it's not crippling like it once was. My knee will never be 100%. I'll never be a marathon runner, but I can walk up and down stairs now without it causing me pain and without looking like a slow little old lady. It's been a little tougher at times than I expected. But I would do it all over again in a heartbeat if I needed to. I just know that I'll never need to. It's the first time I can say with any confidence that this weight loss procedure works. It works because I make sure it does. The band is not going to lose the weight for you. It's a tool that helps you lose the weight yourself. You still have to decide what to eat and when. You still have to be the one to exercise should you choose to do so. You'll stumble across foods that will simply slide through your band (usually naughty things like Cookies or potato chips) and it'll be up to you to avoid them. There will probably be some "good" food that you won't be able to eat. For me it's white meat chicken, bread and sometimes melons. Also sometimes your band will seem tighter than others. For me the morning is really hard to get any food at all in. I just have coffee and a Protein shake. A week prior to my period I will be tighter. And occasionally if I've had a really active exercise day I'll be tight as well. Listen to your body. Not your head. Your head will be able to make excuses for bad behavior more often than your body will. When your body/band tells you "you've had enough", believe me, you've had enough. Even one more mouthful can send me rushing off to the bathroom to try to get rid of that last bit (and sometimes more) that I didn't have room for. Your head will tell you to eat cookies when you're starving and can't get chicken in without it getting stuck. Your body knows that fish or ground beef or Soup is better for you than those cookies. And it'll satisfy your hunger more. Many people have said they've wished there was a band for their brains as well as their tummies. It would make life so much easier if there were. :tt1: Hope this helps.

Good morning ladies. :biggrin2: For some reason I wasn't getting e-mail notifications for new posts to the thread. Again. :party: So I had to come here manually. And even log in! Things have been going well. Mostly. Depending on your point of view. I've been concentrating a lot on exercising. Loving every minute of it! :biggrin2: I'm going half an hour on the treadmill 6 days a week. I do Aikido class 2-3 times a week, which works my core and my mind and after an hour session leaves me sweaty, tired, but invigorated. I'm doing a half hour weight session 3 times a week on my arms. That started out a little tough and my arms were achey for a day or two later, but I'm starting to get into the swing of things now. :couch2: I've been swimming half an hour a session a couple of times a week as well. I'm not drinking nearly as much of the pool water as I did when I first started out. :couch2: And occasionally I'll practise my Aikido weapons with my hubby outside of regular class times to try and get things to stick in my head. Not too successful with the brain stuff. So as you can see my activity and exercise level has increased a lot this month. I often forget to log my exercise and treadmill distances and times. I'm thinking I've reached a level where I don't have to do that any more. I started out needing the incentive to get me to the gym and to log my progress. I don't feel like I need to do that anymore. But I should have something to adjust in my signature on a regular basis if only to get me to keep coming back to the thread. Oh, despite all this extra activity my scale has been yo-yoing. Last week I was down to 173 but this week I'm up to 176. :tt2: It doesn't bother me though. I bought a pair of size 8 pants last week that I wanted to wear to a wedding reception last night. They fit nicely in the store. That surprised me. The last time I was a single digit size my mother was still buying my clothes. :party: But I put them on last night and they were baggy! :huh2: So in spite of the number on the scale, I'm not worried at all because I'm feeling firmer in my arms, smaller in my tummy and ecstatic in my head. That final point being the most important thing one all. :couch2: Hope everyone is being good and behaving themselves. I don't visit here nearly as often as I did, mostly because I'm actually out and about these days, not sticking myself in front of the computer and staying there. :party: Be good. And if you can't be good, be good at it. :couch2:

In defense of Janet..... We've sort of made her the thread mom. It wasn't a position she applied for or volunteered for, we just sort of forced it on her. And many times we've needed the stern mom lecture from her and she's given it to us. And we've thanked her and told her to keep being strict with us. She's done exactly what we've asked of her. So it's probably automatic that she would sound like she was reprimanding either you or your medical staff. It's what we've come to expect and it's what she delivers. The knowledge we're given from our medical staff is meant to be followed and meant to be remembered. Today for example, I couldn't even remember to have my breakfast, so I can hardly expect that I'm going to remember advice that was given me 11 months ago. Janet, and all the other ladies here, give me reminders. They give me advice on things to try. They give me a different perspective on advice I may have heard elsewhere or perhaps tried to figure out myself. The give me advice I may not have considered but could try. But they never expect that I should adhere to their advice over my physicians. We're not here to make this journey any harder for you or to tell you all the ways you're doing things wrong. We want to try and help you find the way that works for you.

I think sometimes we need to be reminded of how to do things. I know I do. I probably should have read this message earlier today, it would have helped me make better choices. I was feeling hungrier today than usual. I should have had a protein drink when my appetite wasn't being satisfied. I usually have one for breakfast. My routine has changed since summer started and I'm getting to the gym later, so that's putting the rest of my day out. If I'd had protein like I normally do this morning, it may have slowed my appetite down more. I forgot. As for ketchup being a lubricant, I didn't think of that. I don't eat a lot of ketchup, but I'm a big fan of condiments. It could also be one of your "slider" foods. I learned that term here in this thread. Sliders are foods that slip through our bands easily. Sounds like ketchup is one of yours. It also sounds like it flushes through whatever else is eaten with it. At least now you know. Glad to hear that things are getting back on track.

I heard a rumor there was a normal person frequenting our thread. *looks suspiciously at Karri* :tongue: Outrageous!!!! :tt2: This weather is wonderful. I'm usually not a summer kind of chick, but this is the first year in a very long time that I haven't felt like a beached whale whenever I've gone out in public (or private for that matter). My little guy went off to summer camp yesterday until Friday. It's spooky quiet here. And strangely clean. Yesterday I rearranged his room. He has his Wii in there and we needed more space to throw ourselves around when we're bowling and rocking it on Guitar Hero! :sad_smile: :laugh: I still need to devise an evil plan to get that Wii Fit that I so desperately need. :w00t: My hair is improving. By 'improving' I mean not getting any thinner. I was beginning to get really concerned that it was falling out way too quickly. Since I've been using Nioxin and taking Biotin and Omega 3 daily it's really improved. It's not growing back quickly, but it's no longer falling out at the rate it was a few weeks ago. No problem with water intake in this weather. I don't even have to count how many bottles any more because I know I'm getting way more than my daily needs. I've started adding Propel powder packs to it. I just couldn't find a Crystal Lite that I liked. :sad: I buy the Lemon, Berry or Kiwi/Strawberry flavors. It says to add one pack to 16.9 fl. oz. but I find that far too sweet so usually use twice as much water. I remember Janet mentioned a few days ago that she was struggling to find clothes her size because they always seem to be out. I have that exact same problem. It doesn't matter what size I am, I have the least amount of choices available to me. When I was a 20, there were only 16, 14 or 12. When I was those sizes, there were only 20, 18, 10 or 8. Now that I'm a 10/8 those sizes are rare. :mad2: It's annoying! Ssankofa... Welcome back. :biggrin2: I hope we can help you find the key to getting your weight going in the direction you need it to. My time spent here has been invaluable to me. I didn't realise how much I would come to rely on the support I find here. Sometimes all I do is blabber my head off just to get the frustration out. But someone is always here for me. I would not have been able to do this alone. Please let us help you in any way we can to see if we can figure out together what's going on. Talk to us. :thumbup: Well that's it for this installment. Will check back in again soon! :tt1:

:tongue2::thumbup: Denise you're a riot. I'm glad to see you're in such good spirits. Dancing?!? :rolleyes2: I can't believe you're up to even thinking about that so soon. Thanks for keeping us updated on your surgery progress. It's nice to know all the little things that you don't think about when making plans to go under the knife. I want to lose another 15 or so pounds to get in the weight range I think is good for me. I've heard and read many doctors advise within 10lbs of your target goal weight. I'm not going to get mine done during the summer. I had to wait 6 weeks before I was allowed to get in a pool or bath after my boob job, and I expect it will be similar with the TT. I wouldn't be able to handle that in the middle of summer. So I have time to lose and save for an Autumn/Winter surgery. I'm not going to go to the same surgeon for my TT. He was a great boob doc, but I don't think his skills are up to the same standard as far as TTs go. I have a couple of other options there. I visited 4 surgeons in total when I was researching for boobs, and my other options are amongst them. So I've already met them and am comfortable with the choice I'll be making. I wanted to go to a doctor who has his own operating room at his surgery to save money on booking a hospital room. I'm mentally ready for the surgery, I just have to get my body a little closer to goal. :rolleyes2: Oh. The cheque's (check) in the mail.

I did a quick google earlier on this because I'd never heard of it before either. It does sound like a gimmick. A 30 day program? What about the rest of your life? It's all well and good to cleanse your system once in a while because it will benefit from that, but to think of it as a weight loss solution is wrong because it will only be temporary. I tried many, many diets as well. Some of them more successful than others. Everyone needs to find what works for them. If restricting yourself to meal replacement drinks for a period of time does it for you, more power to you. I personally wouldn't be able to advocate it to other people though. :rolleyes2:

I'm here. :biggrin2: I've been reading up on posts most days. I'm not ignoring you all. You don't smell or anything. :laugh: I've just been preoccupied with my little monster..... errrrrr, I mean darling son (Bratman). :sneaky: He's gone to the pool with friends for a couple of hours and I was tempted to tag along, but this place is a disaster area with him at home, so I opted to clean instead. Most of the chores are still waiting for me, but they're patient and don't mind how long I take before I get to them. :glare: I've been doing really really well. My new attitude towards food is working well for me. I made the decision not to obsess. I don't think there's ever been a time in my life that it's not revolved around food. As a child I was taught to be a clean plater. So everything had to be cleared off to appease the food gods and the starving children in Africa. :rolleyes2: Then as a young adult on my own I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and even lick my knife if I so pleased without fear of my tongue being cut to shreds. So I did. And I liked it. Then as the pounds slowly but surely increased I became aware of the foods that I shouldn't be eating and obsessed over the many things I would try to deny myself. Only to go to the other extreme and gorge myself silly. Finally to the point where I had my lap band. It's been almost 11 months for me. A tough 11 months. It's only these past few weeks that I've actually felt like my band is working for me and not the other way around, where I had to work to make sure my band did. I relaxed. Oh my stars it's a wonderful feeling. I don't walk through the market eyeing all the cookies and pastries that I'd love to eat but know I can't. Instead I go and look at them all. Really look at them. And all I see are sugar bombs a sticky syrup. It's not appetising to me anymore. I was in Starbucks this week and decided I'd have a treat. I couldn't find anything in the pastry stand that appealed to me. However, I spotted a fruit/cheese pack that looked delicious and grabbed that instead. It's just so very strange and I barely recognise myself anymore. But I like what I see. Loving it, in fact. :thumbup: 2 weeks ago my weight had gone up to 175 again, partly due to Aunt Flo, partly due to my new weights exercise routine. Last week it was down to 173. Still a pound over my best, but an improvement. This week I'm hoping for another small drop. The difference now is that if there's no loss, I'm going to be okay with that. I enjoy my morning exercise. It's ME time. I have a wonderful husband and son, but my mental state benefits from that half hour alone in the gym. I've had to find the incentive from within to get there. Seeing as how I don't have to take Bratman to the bus stop in the mornings over the summer, it all comes down to me. I took one day off this week because I was struggling with a horrible headache. I spent too many hours the day before using Bratman's DS Lite without my glasses on. That'll teach me. :rolleyes2: But getting there is easy. Easy because I want to go, not because I have to go. :smile2: Well that's it from me. I know I wanted to say lots more, but old lady brain has taken control of the keyboard, so whatever thoughts I had have been filed safely in my forgettory. :tongue2: Hope you've all been drinking your water. It's easy for me with the high temps these days. Not as high as Janet, but still pretty warm even for Texas for this time of year. Drink! Drink! Drink!

Oh. As for the amount of food per meal that I eat now. It will probably be no more than a cup of food. If I try to eat more than this, I'll feel ill.

It's going to be a very personal thing for you. I have good days and bad days. A good day is a day when I will have to remind myself to eat. It's important that I do. Going for too long without food will slow down my metabolism and probably make me hungrier when I do take the time to have a meal. I won't feel hungry, but I'll eat to keep my metabolism going and to get the nutrition/vitamins/protein I need daily. A bad day is a day when I want to eat anything that's not nailed down. Not because I'm hungry, but just because I want to eat. Being physically restricted with the band doesn't translate well to my brain. Old habits die hard and there are days when I just want to sink my teeth into a foot long sandwich from Subway. The problem with this is, I can't. My body no longer tolerates bread. So no matter how much my head tells me I need it, my body will reject it and I'll feel extremely uncomfortable if I attempt even a single bite. I'm not a calorie counter. Many swear by it but I'm just too lazy to write down everything I put in my mouth and calculate the calories I still need or the ones I've overdone. I just eat a whole lot less now. I've had a difficult experience with an over-fill; meaning I got too much Fluid put in during a fill. It was fine the day of the fill but things seemed to tighten up 2 or 3 days later to the point where I couldn't even get Water to go down. The weight was just dropping off, but I was miserable because I couldn't put anything in my mouth. So had to go and get some of my fill taken out. It was the best thing to do and slowed down my weight loss, but I was a much happier person because of it. I'm not sure what you mean by starvation mode. If you're talking about the days where you just can't seem to eat enough to satisfy your hunger..... well for me I discovered that 99% of the time that hunger was all in my head. I made discoveries of what triggers that hunger. Sometimes I'll be in a bad mood, or tired and that will have me reaching for food. Comfort food. Bad food. The other 1% can probably be down to hormones or the fact that I've made a wrong decision about what I've eaten. Usually junk. So I'm still hungry. I discovered there are "slider" foods. Foods that will slip through my band really quickly and I can eat plenty of them. Unfortunately many of these sliders are bad. Like Cookies or potato chips. It takes a lot of will power to reach for something else during these times of weakness when it's just so much easier to satisfy my head hunger. I'm not physically hungry, my head just tells me I am. So I avoid having these foods in my home now. I really can't be trusted to stay away from them. Like I said, old habits die hard. I spent decades eating badly and it's difficult to adjust to the newer, healthier style of eating. But it's not impossible. I won't kid you, it will take a lot of hard work and probably plenty of tears of frustration. But even knowing how hard it can be, I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it to anyone else out there. It really has been my saving grace. :cursing: I hope this helps answer your question.