Frustrated

My last post got eaten! I hate when that happens. :thumbup: Congrats Steph on 80lbs gone. Well done you! I too am proud of you. And congrats on one step closer to a new family member with your puppy. And of course Candice is getting a new family member with the proposal thing happening. Wow. What a day. Janet, please send my best wishes to Karri. I hope she finds time to come back here. I understand she's busy and is feeling down because of the meds, but make sure she knows that we're here for her if and when she needs us. No pressure. That poor kid's been through a lot this year, and it's not false pity or anything, she works so hard in all areas of her life. Phyl, it doesn't look like you had a bad day to me; apart from you SILs bad news, that is. The only "bad" food you ate was pie, and you said it was only a small piece, so kick that guilt to the curb. :thumbup: I think that's the great thing about our group here. We celebrate all the successes like they're our own and genuinely mean it. We also share and help with the tough stuff as best we can. Food log for the day: Total cals = 853 Carbs = 92 Fat = 44 Protein = 18 Probably should've done better on the protein. I was out most of the day and couldn't seem to find anything I felt comfortable eating. I could probably get another protein shake in now, but it's after midnight already so it'd technically count for Sunday anyway. :thumbup: I best get myself off to bed. See you all in the morning. :wink:

Thanks for that Janet. It's what I was hoping to hear. I know you were concerned about being on maintenance - the fact that the goal is for no change on the scale. I would be fine staying within the 5lb range like that. Heck my body is there now, it just doesn't realize the scale and my head aren't there yet either. But on that note, I got on the scale this morning and my weight was 171.8. :lovechoc: Closer to 172, so that's going to be what I log this week. I was hoping for 173, so I can't complain. It put a big smile on my face this morning. Again a lot of credit goes to you guys here. You've kept me honest this week. So my goal for next week is 170.

I searched on 'crustless pizza' on dailyplate and came up with a couple of entries. One for 304 cals for 1/8 of a dish and one for 210 for 1/6 of a dish. I had a nip of Galliano liqueur last night as well and couldn't find an entry for it on dailyplate but used something similar instead so I didn't have to go through the process of working out myself how many cals it contained. I figured it was close enough to Sambucca. It still kept me under, and I was tempted to drink more, but having to be accountable here right now stopped that. :lovechoc: I didn't need it, I just wanted it.

Thanks Janet. It's definitely what I need right now and I hope the others are getting the same out of it as I am. I meant to ask you how you're finding maintenance. I know Karri struggles at times, but a lot of her issues are related to her surgery and having to put her exercise on hold while healing. You've been at goal for a little bit now. Tell us how it's been for you and what's different as far as food and exercise choices. And how you're dealing emotionally with the changes.

I wasn't hungry yesterday, no. But there was that thought in my head of having permission to eat more. That's not good. I'll have to keep an eye on that. The rest of my day was good. I went to Aikido class, so that upped my activity totals. My appetite kicked in after class as well, and I was able to eat. I had my son's leftover turkey sandwich. He forgot his lunch box today, so I ate his sandwich instead of tossing it out. It's the first time I've been successful eating bread. It was a lovely change. My total cals for the day were 1,218, but if I subtract my morning exercise and evening Aikido class it brings it down to a net of -316. I'm not sure if I should be paying attention to the total cals or the net cals. Total cals 1,218 Carbs 158 Fat 22 Protein 60 Fell short by about 24oz on the Water today, so I'm going to see how much more I can get in before now and bedtime. Tomorrow is my weigh in day. I've been less and less attached to my scales this week. I haven't stepped on them since Mon and I was 175 then. I'm hoping to be 173 tomorrow. :scared2: Off to relax before bedtime. I'm going to take a Melatonin tonight since I don't have to get up early in the morning. I could do with a sleep in. My body is rested but my mind is still a little too active at the mo, so I may read a little to knock me out. Will check in tomorrow. Sleep well everyone.

Where is everyone today?:eek: I'm finding it hard. At the other end of things this time. It's hard getting any food down today. My coffee went down okay this morning, but my protein shake took about 40 mins to get down. It's taken me almost 2 hours to eat a quarter cup of tuna salad. I'd eat a small bit and feel like it would be taking it's time going down, so I'd wait a few minutes, and so on. And now I feel full, like I've over eaten. If it's not one thing, it's another.

Are you using the right Activity Level? I think you said you put down Lightly Active. Someone who has 3 kids and a husband to care for is not what I consider lightly active. I feel okay today. Not super energetic, but not tired. I didn't sleep too well, but I'm not feeling the effects of that at the moment. I've had coffee and I need to have some breakfast. I don't really feel like it, but it's best I do.

Yes, the mudslinging is really disappointing. I really don't care what a candidate has to say about the other guy or gal, I want to hear what he has to say about himself and what his plans are. There's far too much "Don't vote for him because...." and not nearly enough of "Vote for me because...."

It's a deal chickie! :smile2: I must say that having to pay attention to my food intake has helped these past few days. Knowing I have to report in every day makes me behave a lot better. :tt2: 64oz of water today 1,091 total cals 35g fat 138g carbs 49g protein According to myplate "You may eat about 354 additional calories today. " Does that mean could eat or should eat?

Good morning back at ya. :thumbup: I feel normal today. It's very strange. I went to bed early and got a decent sleep. Got up this morning and worked on my arms at the gym. They were still a little sore (good sore) from the same workout the other day, which is strange because I thought I was getting close to a plateau with those and was about to increase my intensity. It's cold this morning. Only 68 outside. I had to wear a sweater out there! Once I have breakfast and a shower I may go for a longish walk. It's about 1.5 miles to the bank. I have a rebate check here that needs depositing, so that should keep me out of mischief for a little while. Good luck at school today Steph and all our teachers out there.

This late in the day I would try to drink some cals. You don't really want a lot of food sitting in your tummy late at night. Maybe one of those cocoa drinks you mentioned earlier today. Perhaps mix it up with milk rather than water?

*sigh* Yes that helps. I can see better now where I screwed up. :thumbup: My protein count was good, my carbs and cals were bad. At least now I know how to monitor and keep an eye on what I'm doing. Thanks for the tip. It will help a lot.

Woooohooooo! Look at you! Buying up all the jeans in the store and showing off in them. I had an okay day. My total calories so far today (there are still 3.5 hours where to go) are 1537 :w00t: but if I subtract my exercise it takes it down to 934. It's telling me I can eat another 233 cals. I wish I didn't know that. It could send me over the edge. Especially if I've forgotten to add something. :thumbup: My protein percentage is 14.54, carbs are 46.24 and fat is 39.22. I haven't figured out yet what they're supposed to be, but that doesn't look good. I probably should have more protein and less of the carbs and fat. *sigh* More thinking and recalculating needed. Being fat was never this much hard work! I drank all my water. Dionna, please join us in our little family group. We'd really love you to stay. Like Steph said, trying to find solutions for other people helps us find them for ourselves. Not everything we suggest will work for you, but it may work for someone else who happens to read it. And believe it or not, you'll probably have suggestions for us that will work. Even though we're a year out, sometimes we (by 'we' I mean ME :tt2: ) forget the basics that were taught in the beginning. You can helps us remember. :cool2:

You mentioned there was another newbie in that same group. I would suggest you find some alone time with her and ask what her opinion is on what she's getting out of things. If she's feeling as badly as you about everything, perhaps you can join forces. Exchange e-mails, phone calls or get together on a forum such as this. It sounds to me like you're in a group of glass-half-empty people. You need glass-half-full people. But perhaps their rants and raves are part of their own personal release system. I complain all the time here. It helps me get things out of my system so that the rest of my life and day may not be as polluted. If you look at my ticker it will show that I've lost almost 70lbs. But in the last 5 months I've lost and gained the same 5lbs and it's getting to me more and more now. I need to figure out what's going wrong. What worked for me that first 7 months stopped working. It doesn't surprise me, but it does frustrate me. I'm not over-eating, but I am eating the wrong things. I don't lead a stressful life, but this weight issue is stressful in and of itself. What's happened to me is that I've become comfortable. I'm in the perfect position as far as band restriction goes to maintain. The only problem is, I'm 20lbs away from goal. If you ignore my menstrual troubles, during "normal" times I can eat 2 cookies and feel satisfied. I don't need the whole pack like I used to. I can eat a bite or two out of a slice of cake and be satisfied instead of the whole cake. I can eat a couple of spoons of ice cream and be satisfied. This kind of revelation to me is such a wonderful and freeing experience. Now the problem with that is, I will eat those things and not feel guilty because I'm not overeating. BUT, I'm still eating wrong. I realised today that at the beginning of this journey I was so excited and eager and determined that I did 95% of everything RIGHT. I followed the rules, I ate the appropriate food, I exercised when I should. Right now the only thing I probably am more determined about is my exercise. It's more of a mental than physical thing. I need to get myself back on track and focused on the goal the same way I was in the beginning.

If it were me, I'd stop going. A support group is meant to give you support. The kind of support you need. If you're not getting that there, you need to find it somewhere else. This thread is my support group. You need to find something or someone that works for you. I think of it in the same way as I think about when I was looking for that magical weight loss answer. I tried all the diets, all the pills, all the exercise routines I could. Some of them were successful (temporarily) some of them were total failures. But I kept looking for something that worked. My advice would be for you to keep looking. If that group doesn't work for you, see if you can find another. If group sessions don't work, see if you can find someone who will talk with you one-on-one. You may find that one person in one of the groups. Someone who thinks the same way you do. When you have your support system in place, whatever it is, you'll have a better chance of being successful.

A new day today. It's actually cooler than it's been here for months now. There's some light mist outside and it's only 88 degrees. Sorry Phyl. :cool2: I'm dealing with tummy cramps this morning. When my tummy isn't aching, my lower back is. *sigh* I had to try 3 times to get some soup down last night. It wasn't that I was tight, at least I don't think so, I just felt ill after taking a mouthful or two. It would set off my gag reflexes. Don't ask me why. :tt2: It took me an hour to finish one cup. :w00t: I've had coffee with creamer this morning. I'm going to try and have a protein shake in a little bit. I'm not feeling hungry. Yet. I've done 30 mins on the treadmill. That helped with the stomach cramps. So far so good.

Hello ladies. It's been a few days since I checked in. We went on an impromptu road trip up to Kansas to visit with friends and got back last night. I was tired, but really enjoyed catching up. Food? I don't remember what I ate. I know I didn't always choose wisely, but I don't think I overate while I was gone. TOM is being a real pain. This month I've decided to deal with it differently. Instead of withdrawing into myself and using all my inner strength to be grrrrr NICE grrrr, I told my hubby there are going to be times in the next however long this takes when I'm going to tell you "I'm grumpy for no reason". Take that information, absorb it, remember it but don't bug me with "why?" or "how can I help?" or "where can I hide?" So far, so good. It's actually helping to be able to say out loud that I'm annoyed for no reason. It takes off so much pressure trying to be polite and in control. :thumbup: There's no point in trying to deny there's something wrong. But this morning I woke wanting to eat everything I could find. I read Steph's post and decided that was it for me. Keep myself busy. My son's bedroom and bathroom are sparkling clean today. :blushing: I've come to the conclusion that boys are disgusting little creatures. They can find places to hide dirty socks you wouldn't even know existed. :biggrin: He was home 10 minutes and started complaining that he couldn't find anything. :girl_hug: Tomorrow I'm going to clean up my plants and patio. There isn't much to do and it won't take too long, but I'll save the time for when my hunger screams at me to see if I can get it out of my system that way. Maybe I'll go shopping for replacement plants or herbs. So that's me. I need to go back and catch up on the posts, but I'm exhausted right now. I've really got to keep on top of this food log. Already I can't remember what I've eaten today, so there's no hope for the past few days. I will try once again tomorrow.

I'm having a hard time of it. :tt2: My sweet tooth is killing me today. I had my coffee this morning, but couldn't get my protein shake in, the consistency of it made me want to barf. I had a slice of cinnamon toast with butter and honey. That went down well. And made me feel good. So I had another. For lunch I tried to have some hot and sour soup but again it just wouldn't go down. So I had another slice of honey and toast. I also had 3 Wasa crackers. But as a result of these choices, I only have 260 additional calories that I can have. I guess I need to get out and do some more exercise if I want to have a hearty dinner. If I can eat anything beside toast. :tt2: This is a lot of work. And to be honest, I already want to give up. :tt1: But since I can't let the team down, I'm going to keep on keeping on. :biggrin: I so want a cookie right now. :mad: This too shall pass.... this too shall pass....

I didn't want these messages to be polluted by my above rant: Congrats to Grandma Linda on her new grandbaby! I love babies! I love more being able to hand them back when I'm done playing with them or they become stinky or noisy. :biggrin: Phyl, I do so enjoy your stories about Earl and the antics the both of you get up to. It's like reading a sit-com sometimes. :biggrin: I hope to be as frustratingly happy as you two are when hubby and I spend retirement together. There was more but I've forgotten. :wub: Stupid forgettory! :biggrin:

Good morning ladies. Despite my best efforts yesterday, my day continued to deteriorate. :wub: I took a walk and it was great. I came home and decided to snack on some grapes. I wasn't hungry, but it was 3 hours since I'd had breakfast and I'm trying to get into the habit of eating every 3 hours to keep my metabolism running. Also to try and control my hunger so that I'm not waiting until I'm starving, then over-eating. I only managed 4 grapes until I felt full. Thought to myself to listen to my band and not force. So early afternoon was lunchtime, and I grilled some salmon and made a green salad. I had maybe 4 bites of salmon and a little salad and suddenly felt bad. I dashed off to the bathroom and emptied my lunch into the toilet. :crazy: This wasn't just PBing like I've had before when something's got stuck. This was full on vomiting with stomach muscles contracting and stuff. But by that time, I was hungry. So now I'm feeling like crap and starving but know that if I continue to try and eat, it'll be very, very bad. I did manage to drink some hot tea. Every time I tried anything cold or room temperature it would want to evacuate. *sigh* So now I'm in a grumpy mood. Hungry, feeling barfing, but knowing that if I'd stuffed myself on potato chips or cookies they would go down perfectly fine! I'd be able to make my way through a Family Pack of each no problem at all and washed it all through with gallon of ice cream. :biggrin: Well this morning I checked my calendar. And what do you know, Aunt Flo is preparing for a visit next week. :biggrin: So that explains a lot of things. I need to kill her. I really do. She drives me insane. On a more positive note, I got myself to bed at 10 last night and dropped off to sleep right away. I didn't wake until the alarm went off at 6:45 this morning. It was a good night sleep. No bad dreams, no waking up at all. I managed half a glass of orange juice to get something in my tummy before my usual morning workout. I don't know if it helped any. I felt myself burping up little bits of it throughout my workout. Nothing bad, just tiny bits. I'm going to keep trying to do that, have something in my tummy before working out. Orange juice was one of a few things suggested for potassium instead of banana. It doesn't have as much, but it's better than nothing. I feel better this morning. I know why I'm having a rough time mentally and physically now. Even though I don't like it, at least there's a reason for my insanity. :biggrin: Today I'm going to take things slowly. I'm feeling hungry but don't want to risk eating at the moment. I'll see if my protein shake wants to go down or not first.

So much of what you said made a lot of sense. Up until this last 20lbs I haven't looked at this as a diet but a lifestyle change. But with this yo-yoing between 175 and 170 for the past 4 months it's driving me insane. Being determined to get to my goal, I immediately thought of trying a diet. Jillian came to mind because I need a strong personality like hers to keep me focused and determined. And then Fat Ruby starts thinking again about failure and how hard it will be and how bad I'll feel when (not IF) it doesn't work and it makes me feel bad and my self-confidence drops and all the other negative thoughts invite themselves along to my pity party. :smile2: I've considered a fill. But my last fill was tough. And I think where I am with my restriction right now, it's the perfect spot to be for maintenance. I don't want to screw that up. I'm not afraid of falling back into obesity. This is the first time in my life that I'm sure I won't go back there. I don't feel like I'm lying or trying to convince myself. I don't over-eat. I don't stuff myself stupid on naughty things. I just don't eat properly at the moment and I should! Now see that sentence? I know what's wrong, I know how to fix it and yet every single day I sabotage myself! *sigh*

I remember reading once somewhere that the worst and most effective form of torture (as in military style) is sleep deprivation. It has the added bonus of not leaving any physical signs of abuse. :crying: I think what's needed is to get back into my regular non-summer routine. For me, working out first thing in the morning boosts my energy levels for the day and the thought of "I need to exercise today..." doesn't hang over my head because I've dealt with it quickly. I walk past the gym to take my son to the bus stop. It's a good incentive. I would have to deal with a guilt trip if I didn't stop in. For me, the hardest part is typically getting myself TO the gym. Once I'm there it's a lot better. I'm not sure if I can handle a banana. It's one of the foods I struggle with. It just sits in my pouch in a big lump. I'll google around to see if I can find something else. Maybe a handful of almonds or something like that. Food is tough for me in the morning. Today just started out all wrong and I should have recognized that from the beginning. I should have just come home, tried to get another hour or two of sleep and THEN started my day. Hindsight is always 20/20. I enjoy my typical morning routine, but I have to learn that there are days when I'm not up to it physically and change things immediately to try to get back on track. I've showered, had some breakfast (protein shake, 1 Wasa cracker and coffee) and am feeling more energized. Or at least no longer tired. I've also already made my way through 32oz of water as well. I'm thinking of food far too much and water helps wash it away. I'm not hungry, I'm just thinking of food. :smile2: I'm taking myself to bed earlier tonight for sure. My son's (aged 10) bedtime is 9pm and usually hubby and I will share a few hours of peace and quiet together after that. But I'll be heading off to bed soon after 9 I think tonight. I'll do some reading to help me drift off. Once in a while I'll take Melatonin to help me sleep, but never on a school night as it leaves me groggy in the morning with an early start. So maybe a cup of herbal tea instead. I took a deep breath like you suggested. :crying: I read a couple of chapters while I had breakfast and I plan on going for a walk in a little bit. It's nice out there at the moment. Not too hot yet.

Here I am today. I'm tired and grouchy. :smile2: I had trouble falling asleep last night. I woke up twice from bad dreams. The morning alarm came far too early. I forgot to get my son's lunch ready last night so I was mad dashing around to get it together and up to the bus stop on time. I struggled through my morning workout. I know it's bad when I keep checking the time to see how much longer I have to go. I'm also feeling hungry, but can't be bothered rummaging around for something to eat. I don't know if that's good or bad. I'm currently working on my first 16oz bottle of water. Then I'll make a protein shake and perhaps a cup of coffee. I think I need a nap today. It's tough getting back into the early morning rising routine that school brings with it. I got quite lazy over the summer. Yesterday was an eye-opener for me too. I'm glad you're there to help me Steph. Kari, I don't know why you think your day was a wash. You worked out extra hard to counter the naughty stuff.

I chose 2lbs per week at moderately active because I really enjoy my exercise time. My weight is 175 today and it calculated that I should be eating 1,501 calories to lose that much. I counted my 30 minutes moderate weights from this morning. It's probably closer to 40 but I take long breaks between sets. And I was thinking of going to the gym again to do Jillian Michaels fitness test, which should take about 20-25 minutes. I still don't have a battery for my heart rate monitor, but I don't want that to continue to be an excuse. But I don't want to be overdoing it. Maybe I should change it down to Lightly Active. Seeing as how I don't work or anything.... I just looked: it would take me down to 1,167 required. That means I still have 385 calories to eat. This is hard. :thumbup:

I just signed myself up to dailyplate. According to the calorie calculator I still have 719 calories to burn in spite of the naughty bar I ate today. That sounds like a lot. :huh2: There are still just under 8 hours of the day left though..... Maybe in time it will show that my problem is that I'm not eating enough. *sigh* That's so backasswards for someone who has over-eaten most of her life. :cursing: