Frustrated

Jackie - I'm not a big pizza lover either. However I've discovered since being banded that I'm quite fond of melted cheese. On the rare occasions that we've ordered pizza I've just eaten the toppings off them. Something I would reprimand my son for doing previously. :embarassed: So I've told him there's been a rule change. You don't HAVE to eat the entire slice including the crust, you only have to eat what you want. And as a matter of fact, yes I am allowed to change the rules whenever it suits me! Why? Because I'm the mom.

Hello all :wave: I've been MIA for a little while and really don't have any excuse for it. I think I'm suffering from the-honeymoon-is-over symptoms as well. I've been stuck between 205 and 203 for the past couple of weeks. After watching biggest loser the other night I'm wondering if it's because I'm not eating enough like (can't remember his name). It makes sense that my metabolism would slow down. I struggle with Breakfast. I need to eat really, REALLY slowly or I'll slime and/or bring it all back up again. I even struggle with Protein shakes. lunch is a little easier. But then my problem time hits me. For me it's the afternoon/early evening. Once I make it to around 7-8pm I'm fine and can go the rest of the night without food. But the afternoon has always been a struggle period for me. I've tried to stick with healthy Snacks. Most often it'll be fish crackers or a pack of those 100 calorie snacks. But this past week I've broken down and eaten two or more packs. The other day I started drinking more Water again. I think that's another area I was slacking off in. It helped me curb my appetite a little more. Today I drank 80oz of water and still feel like I could take on more. I just hope I don't suffer from water retention because of it. I've decided to eat more vegetables. Maybe even get some as a snack like Janet suggested. I tried strawberries for brekkie this morning and they seemed to go down okay, although I only managed to make my way through 4 of them. Maybe I should try avocado or tomato. :cry I'm still exercising every day except Sunday. I'm thankful that I haven't fallen off that bandwagon. I'd hate to think what would happen if I did. Actually, I'm surprised that I still enjoy it. There are some days when I'd rather not have to get on the treadmill, but seeing as how I have to walk past our gym every single morning after dropping off my son at school, I really have no excuse. And anyway, Janet is not only the food angel, she's my exercise angel as well. And I really don't like to see her waggling her finger at me when I want to walk past the gym. :heh:

Kathy, I'm sorry to hear about your news. I lost my dad the same way in Feb 2005. He was diagnosed just before Christmas of '04 with cancer. So we only had a few months together to say good bye. Sometimes it seemed like such a short amount of time, sometimes (especially towards the end) it seemed to drag on forever. It was extremely difficult emotionally for all of us. But I also found it comforting, which sounds very strange. I'll explain as best I can..... Not all of us get a chance to say good bye. Most often people die suddenly and/or unexpectedly. My dad and I didn't always have a good relationship. So this gave us time to resolve things and say all those things to one another that so many people put off because it's either too morbid or we think there's always tomorrow to say these things. There were things that were hard to talk about. There were things that I thought of talking about, knowing it would be upsetting for one or both of us. At times they went unsaid because I discovered through this journey that some of those issues I carried around with me just weren't that important. But I DID say all the most important things to him and he to me. We laughed together. We cried together. We laughed until we cried. I told him all the things I'd miss about him; both good and bad. And he told me the same. It's surprising how much more open you can be with one another when you know your time together is limited. I even composed my eulogy and shard that with him. My sister told me he kept a copy of it with him and would bring it out to read every day while she was with him. As tough as some of those moments were back then, they actually helped me immensely with the grieving process after he had gone. Probably because we grieved together for those few months we had. I miss him a lot. But there are other days when I "feel" him with me. Days when something will happen and I'll think "Dad would have said this...." He still shares my life with me.

I'm almost too scared to look. I'm worried that if I get a lite version my old brain will tell me "It's lite, that means you can have twice as much!" I forgot about my love affair with eggnog until I saw it today. I got hooked on it 2 years ago. :mad: I guess the good thing is it's seasonal. Alright, I'm going to join the mini challenge. I've only dropped a pound since we started this thing, and perhaps Aunt Flo's visit is the cause for the plateau (fingers crossed). But I'm willing to climb aboard the mini-challenge as well.

I discovered eggnog is in the stores now! How am I going to be able to avoid it for the next 2 months?

Well it seems that my post from this morning once again got chewed up by the internet monster and disappeared. I just wanted to welcome the new ladies, salsa and mikesmom, to our happy little thread. It's good to see you both here. salsa, thanks for sharing your experiences with food. I know it's shameful to admit to our bad behaviour, but I for one feel a lot better now that someone knows. Even though I still can't bring myself to tell my loved ones. mikesmom, I was banded the day before you were. Hope you join us in our challenge. Our goal is to each lose 10lbs by Thanksgiving. You came in about a week late, so if you want to set your goal at perhaps 7.5 it would set you on the same track as us. I'm not altogether confident that I'll make the 10 myself, but that's not going to stop me from trying! It's great to have such a wonderful group of ladies to do this with that I feel that even if I don't make the target, I'm still a success story. That's always been a hard thing for me to deal with. Failing to meet a target. But if I don't make the 10 by TG, I know it won't be too much longer after that. I took Tylenol capsules this morning for the first time since surgery. Aunt Flo is being a real pain! :mad: They went down okay and I'm glad of it. I really couldn't stand that liquid pain relief any more. It was almost better to suffer through whatever was ailing me than have to swallow that turbo-sugar stuff.

This morning I weigh 204. I'm actually quite happy about that because for the past few days my weight has been as high as 207 in preparation for Aunt Flo's visit this week. So put me down for 1lb weight loss for the TG challenge so far! :boink:

Lindaa and Chim - Happy Birthday to the both of you. Hope you have a fun and exciting day. :happybday2::happybday2:

Welcome to BandLand Hebber. :wave: I just know how important food is to me now. Does that go away after you get banded? Well after 4 months it hasn't completely disappeared for me. I still have days (especially a week before my period) where all I do is think about food and what I'll eat at my next meal. For me the band has really restricted my appetite though. But it's taken until my second fill about 3 weeks ago to get there. We all want instant gratification. Our bands are designed to do that, but it's not going to happen from the day you have your surgery. You have to have a few tweaks to find your sweet spot. At the moment I think I have good restriction. I have 2.5ccs in my 4cc band. Yesterday afternoon was the first time in a while where I've felt my appetite has been more than it should be. My period is due next week, so this type of feeling doesn't surprise me. But I do feel like I'm craving more than I should and the only way to curb that is to drink more water and get out of the house and away from the fridge. Before the band I used to feel like that almost every day. It was really depressing being a prisoner to food like that. What do I miss most? I was just thinking about this the other week when my hubby and son were chowing down with sub sandwiches. I missed pigging out. Just being able to stuff my face full of a hamburger or sandwich and have the juice drip down my chin. I'd never be able to do that now without seriously hurting myself. But I only missed it for a little while and then I got over it. I think you have to feel what it's like to PB or slime. It's just not an effective enough deterent if someone just tells you. You have to experience it. If you don't know how bad it feels, it won't stop you from eating. And believe me, it's awful! As bad as it is though, I'm glad it's there. It stops me from eating when nothing else would have. I think initially I dreaded special occasion dinners because I had it in my mind I would never be able to enjoy food as I always have. I'm getting used to that though. It's getting easier to say "No thanks, I've had enough to eat." and mean it. My mind still tells me I want more, but my body just can't take it. This will be my first holiday season with diet restrictions. In my mind the hardest thing to come to terms with was cooking a big feast. I really enjoy cooking. But Phyl came up with a fantastic idea of cooking a meal for a charity organisation that I can donate it to. This gives me my grand feast preparation fix while not worrying about all the food going to waste. It will go to a worthy cause and I'll just make a small sampling for me and my family here. I think I'm finally coming to terms with that fact that this is going to be successful for me. With all other diet methods I had in the back of my mind "I wonder how long this will last before it fails." This isn't going to fail for me. Unless I make a bonehead decision to remove the band. :rolleyes I don't see that happening though.

I'm also ashamed to say that I did this kind of thing too. :embarassed: My past behaviour still bothers me so much that I haven't yet been able to confess these sins to my hubby and son. Perhaps some time in the future I will, at least I hope so. I don't like to carry this guilt around with me, but I'm not yet ready to come clean with it. I don't know why. My hubby won't think any less of me. He's very supportive and never "tut tut"s when I've done something wrong. I just..... can't. But I used to cover my tracks. I'd head out the following day and buy a replacement pack of cookies and sometimes even extra so I could gorge myself again. I'd bake more cake or pie because I'd eaten more than I should have, and then have to eat part of that also to account for the shares my hubby and/or son had eaten. If I was going to lunch or dinner with family or friends, I'd eat before going, just so I wouldn't overeat at dinner. Then if I wanted to, I'd treat myself again when I got home because I ate sparingly with my dinner guests. I ate as I cooked, then I ate my meal, then I'd have an extra helping and any leftovers on my son's plate. I didn't know how bad I actually was until I got this band and it physically restricted me from this kind of cheating. I've had to learn to cook smaller portions simply because it's impossible for me to eat all the leftovers. The reality of how bad I was bothers me a lot. I'm too ashamed to admit all this to my family, but somehow sharing it with all of you is different. You can relate to it and understand it, even if you're just as clueless as I am as to WHY my brain thinks this way. :straight

I hate when my e-mail notify goes screwy and I don't know there are new posts here. :eek: Please bear with me while I make some lengthy posts to catch up on what's been said. Indio - on the will power rant; I know I have plenty of will power. It's usually kicked up a notch if someone makes a comment like "Oh you can't do that..." I've been quite successful with weight loss in my 40+ years. However, I've been even more successful with weight gain. I don't know what it is about this food addiction as opposed to other addictions. I gave up smoking cold turkey and it was (relatively) easy. But food...? Just can't keep at it for any length of time. I have a long list of reasons why I'm overweight, but no real excuses at all. Even when my health started to become an issue I just couldn't shake the extra weight. But I don't believe it is just a lack of will power at certain times. There have been times when I've become addicted to eating right and exercising like mad and nothing changed. Then I discovered I had insulin resistance and PCOS and those issues were working against me in the battle against the bulge. It just made things so much harder. EVERYTHING had sugar in it. It wasn't just the added sugars that were bad for me, it was the natural sugars in fruits also that my body couldn't deal with. Things like soy milk, fruit juice, cereals, yoghurt.... all "healthy" choices I thought I was making were working against me. So any will power I had just wasn't enough. I needed something to seriously restrict any and all intake of food. And that's where my band comes in. Then add into the equation the change in metabolism as we get older....... No, I don't see any of these as excuses. They're reasons. But at times I know I will use them as an excuse to be lazy or to allow myself to eat things I know I shouldn't. I've said it before, I'm a big fat liar. And if I can find a way to lie about eating something I shouldn't, you better believe that I will. :cry I need my band and I need this thread to keep me in check.

I'll take the 10lbs Thanksgiving challenge as well. I'm 205 today, so 195 by Thanksgiving. :cry That's about the size of a smallish turkey. How hard could it be? :guess Famous last words.

Indio - Thank you for that! I'm very excited. :biggrin1: Mango - Are you getting your daily requirement of protein and taking a vitamin supplement? I've been fairly good with my protein and have been religious with my vitamins. I've actually found my hair has grown a lot faster and thicker since surgery. I take the kids Flintstones with iron chewables.

Looking good there Nichole. NSV - I got into a pair of size 16 jeans over the weekend and they were comfortable. :whoo: I'm on my way to Onderland. I was hoping to get there by Halloween, but won't be disappointed if it takes a little longer. I've got 5lbs to go!!! :biggrin1:

That was funny distant. And sadly a little too close to the truth. :heh:

Indio, you're looking super terrific. :biggrin1: And Phyl, there's a huge difference there.

Distant you look terrific! :biggrin1: Everyone looks so good. Me and cameras don't really get along too well. I've always hated having my photo taken and even moreso when the pounds piled on. Right now my hubby takes weekly (when we remember) shots of me in my underwear and bra just so we have a reference point when I get to my goal weight. But I haven't been able to bring myself to look at them. My fragile ego couldn't handle it. LOL. It's lovely to see everyone else looking so well though.

Oh wow Jackie! I see the difference clearly. You're looking terrific. I mean this in the nicest possible way; the first picture looks like you could be your mother. Not only does it look like you've shed pounds, but years as well.

:whoo::whoo::whoo::whoo: Go Linda!

CeCe you're cute. And there's a marked difference between the photos. Your face looks thinner and healthier! :eek: jackie your avatar is a little small even for 40 year old eyes with glasses but I agree with Indio, you look slim and pretty. :mad:

Thanks Aunty Phyl! What fantastic ideas. That's got me really excited. :biggrin1:

Morning 7s :wave: It's good to see everyone making progress, even if it is only a little at a time. I'm still making the scale go down, albeit more slowly now. A loss of 3lbs this week. It doesn't seem much in the way of numbers, but every little bit counts, and it's 3lbs closer to my target. So no complaints! I've been thinking of the impending holiday season too. I enjoy cooking. I enjoy eating. I've always made such a big feast for Christmas. We'd have family over to share meals because I always cooked far too much. Now that we live in Texas, there's only the 3 of us (me, hubby, 9 year old son). I don't know if I know how to cook for such a small gathering with no unexpected guests. :straight The past few years I've simply over-eaten before anything spoils because.... well because it's what you do at Christmas. :rolleyes Now I only eat 1/4 to 1/2 cup of food. Normally that would just be my cranberry sauce serving LOL What's a girl to do? There's no way I could cook a whole turkey and not have it spoil. I'm not even sure I can eat turkey yet. I've struggled since my first fill with chicken so I've steered clear of it. I guess I'll have to research online for recipes for meals for two. But my turkey-and-all-the-trimmings-extravaganza was my THING! You can't downgrade a masterpiece, lol. :cool:

Welcome back Dini. Your presence has been missed! New York is a very expensive place. On top of that, you're going to be there during Thanks Giving (third Thursday of Oct) so it doesn't surprise me that the hotels will be at peak prices. You might want to look online to see if you can get something a little cheaper. We usually use hotels.com or orbitz.com to find bargains. Booking early is definitely the way to go as they'll be even more expensive the closer it gets to ThanksGiving and Christmas.

Good morning 7s :wave: My restriction seems to have eased a bit. Not to the point where I'm able to eat plenty, but I'm no longer having to wait 5 mins between bites and am satisfied after 1/4 to 1/2 a cup. Last night I treated myself to some potato chips. I ate 6 of them and was satisfied! It was a wonderful feeling. Not because I'd eaten something "bad", but because I was satisfied after so few of them. Normally I'd be able to make my way through a family sized bag. :embarassed: We had a get-together here at our apartment complex to watch Monday night football, hence the potato chips. I was offered soda and the first thing I thought of was you guys here. :biggrin1: I politely declined and stuck to drinking my water. The game was great! Ugly, but great. Cowboys beat the Bills in the very last second after playing so poorly for most of the game. 5 intercepts? You could say Tony Romo had a bad day at the office. But we stole a victory we didn't deserve. Still, I'm more proud of the fact that I only ate 6 potato chips! WOOHOO! :whoo:

Congrats on your weight loss so far! :grouphug: Yes, my doctor tells me how much he's putting in. I was told before my surgery what type of band I was getting. Mine is a 4cc band. Others in this thread have 10cc bands. My first fill was 1.75cc and my second was .75. You're well within your rights to know what type of band you have. I believe it's probably the 10cc size because if you had 4cc it would almost be to it's limit now and you'd barely be able to swallow anything. I haven't experienced different days where I've been able to eat more than others. For me I feel more restricted in the morning. In the afternoon/evening I can eat a little more freely. But having said that, I'm still only limited to about 1/4 to 1/2 a cup since my second fill. Directly after it I was the same as you though. Could only manage a mouthful at a time and then had to wait 10-15 minutes before trying another. Anything quicker or more than that had me bent over the toilet for 15 minutes waiting for it to slime itself out. Is anyone else feeling restriction after only one or two fills? Some have, some haven't. My doctor told me it can take two or three fills to find the "sweet spot" whereas others are fortunate enough to get that with the very first fill. Remember that everyone is different. We're all on the same journey, but we can all react differently to the same treatment. Also, is there any way the port could get dislodged or anything? I've heard some in this thread mentioning "port flipping". Which is where (I think) the port turns over or moves from where it was positioned. There are times when I can feel it now more than before. I think it's because I've lost weight in my waist so it's more apparent. I also feel a bit of a sharp pain in the port site if I turn a certain way or bend a certain way. Again I think it's because there's not as much fat padding to buffer it. I'm not too worried about it, but if you are then for sure call your doctor and ask him or one of his assistants. That goes for any questions you may have. Don't feel like one of your questions may be silly. It's their job to keep you informed. The only silly question is the one that goes unasked. are you guys not allowed to have anything but clear liquids on fill days? I was told to go onto full liquids after each fill for a couple of days. He didn't say "clear" liquids. I was able take in Soups and my Protein shakes. I felt REALLY restricted after my second fill and it took me almost all day to get through the minimum requirements. I just made sure I was getting my protein in, took my Vitamins and did as best as I could with my Water. Everything else was secondary. It took me almost a week before I could eat anything mushy. I hate a couple of nibbles of egg salad on day 3 after my second fill and half of a yoghurt on day 4. I still feel really really limited, but not as much as I did a week ago. I'm not sure why you're fasting on the day of your fills unless you were told to do so. I don't really see any reason for it. It's not a surgical procedure and I don't think eating or drinking would have any impact on your fills. Again, ask them why it is so. Perhaps you've just assumed it's this way. I've discovered I've gotten things wrong either because I haven't listened to instructions properly or I've just assumed things. BTW, I loved your story! I'd feel horrified if someone had a copy of my progress photos. Like you, I've had mine taken in my underwear and bra. I still haven't been able to bring myself to look at them. Hubby has them stored on his PC. I know I've done well with my weight loss. I'm just a little scared that if I see what I look like now, I'll still be disappointed with what I see. And if I look at what I used to look like, it'll send me into the depths of depression. :eek: Best I hold off until I'm ready I think.