Frustrated

My glittermaker when nuts yesterday as well. It's not the first time and I can't be bothered trying to figure it out over and over again. It wouldn't let me create a new one this time around.

Oh no!!! I have my fingers and toes crossed that you don't have to go through the surgery again. :pray:

My husband had a bout of hives last summer. He would look fine most of the time, but if there was a change in body temperature, like taking a shower or going for a swim in the pool, he broke out in hives. They were itchy, swollen, red and he looked like an alien had attacked him. But they'd only last a couple of hours with each attack until, of course, his body temperature changed again. When he went to see the doctor, she said there was something gone weird with his histamine levels. So she prescribed an anti-histamine for him which helped a lot. They didn't go away entirely, but his outbreaks were less severe. She also mentioned that they can just suddenly appear for no reason at all and you can suffer for a while, and then just as suddenly disappear. We went through a lot of calamine lotion that summer. :phanvan

I feel tight in the morning also. Then come the afternoon, everything seems to loosen up and I get hungry. Usually I'll just have a protein shake for breakfast and if I'm feeling adventurous, a couple of pieces of melon or strawberries. Lunch is typically a yoghurt and fruit or salad. But come around 3pm I get hungry. There have been evenings when I've been able to eat 1-2 cups of food. Other nights when it's a lot less. I've considered getting my third fill, but when I got the second I was having problems swallowing my own saliva at night. It wasn't very pleasant waking up choking on my own spit. I think I'll give it a few more weeks before heading back for a fill. My weight's been fluctuating lately, but my breast surgery complications play a big part in that. I'm going to wait until after I've had the other implant put back in and see how I go from there for a while. I'd hate to be having to deal with a too tight band on top of surgery healing.

There's a risk with any foreign body we put inside ourselves; amalgam fillings, IUDs, early silicone breast implants, and numerous medications. Many of these have been taken off the market, and quite rightly so. But I also researched the lap band. While there are risks associated with it, the risks to my health if I didn't have it outweighed them all. I tried all other means to lose weight and nothing worked. The lap band seemed the least invasive of all the gastric options I checked out. Plus I can have it removed in the future should I change my mind. Sometimes you just have to avoid reading for peace of mind, lol. I rarely venture out of this thread on here. There are a lot of not very nice people that post in some threads and we don't get any of that here. Maybe that's why it's so popular. We support one another, we don't tear each other apart when we post. Stay in here where it's safe jackie.

Today is a bit of a struggle for me. I'm having one of my old need-to-eat-everything-in-sight days. I haven't had one of these in a long time. If I don't sort myself out I'm going to gain back 4lbs in one day. It's driving me crazy. I had a Protein shake for Breakfast and some turkey and salad greens for lunch. But neither meal has satisfied me. I had a 100 calorie snack between and have been drinking my Water and chewing gum like a crazy person, but I'm HUNGRY!!!!!! I hate days like this. I can undo all the good work I've achieved in a month in one single day! I have will power up the wazoo because I'm a very stubborn and pig-headed woman, but this is driving me insane. The weather sucks today. Money is tight due to extra Holiday expenses and I'm bored. I think the boredom is the hardest to deal with. That's when I'm more likely to graze like a cow. My son got a WII for Christmas. Maybe I should go and play on that for a couple of hours to take my mind off things. And get a workout playing tennis, golf and bowling. lol Well, it's better than sitting here feeling sorry for myself, lol. Catch up with you later ladies. :wave:

Thank you peaches, and everyone else for your kind words. I appreciate my surgeon for going the extra mile for me. I would have been beside myself. I just feel like I've been in healing mode since July when I had my lap band. I had to take time to recover from that, then get used to it and have to reprogram my brain. Then I thought the breast surgery would help boost my confidence. It did, but this hic cup has made me feel I've been in limbo for half a year and will still be there for the first part of this year. Patience is a virtue I seldom posses. I'll have to continue working on that. lol

First off, thank you all for your kind thoughts and words. :mad: My surgeon said he wanted to give my body 6 weeks to heal before going in again because of the mild infection I had. He wanted that completely gone. That wouldn't have been an issue with your niece as it would have been a faulty implant and not an infection that was the problem. I have 800cc saline implants overfilled to 1,000. I considered silicone, but they didn't have the size I wanted so opted for saline. But once things have really settled in, we're hoping that by then the silicone will be available. It currently isn't. I'm not expecting to be ready financially for another year or so anyway, so wasn't planning on an upgrade before then. My right breast is great! It's starting to soften and plump out. It's nice to have a full feeling breast, rather than a half empty bag of droopy skin. It will be great once they're both the same size again. In the meantime I have a prosthesis to place inside my bra. It's typically used by women who have had a mastectomy. Nobody notices the difference. Heck, nobody noticed when I had a boob job. I didn't tell anyone about that either. Wearing big sweaters and jackets because of the cooler weather is responsible for that. You're absolutely right about the 4lb fluctuation. It's nothing to be worried or ashamed over. Thank you for reminding me of that. :confused: I haven't fallen off the bandwagon completely. I've just had a little setback. I can deal with that. No biggie. If I haven't said it often enough, all you guys are fantastic. You keep me on track and get my head back to where it needs to be. Thank you so much for being part of my life and sharing this journey with me. I'm never alone because I can come here for comfort and support any time of day.

Hi 7s :wave: I haven't been on since before Christmas and thought I'd come back because I "need" this group. You all help keep me in check and I've been lacking lately. Some of it is self pity, some of it not, but I'm tired of finding excuses so I'm here to get back on track again. Just before Christmas I was having some pain problems with my left breast. As you know I had a lift and implants in November. Well in early December one of the incisions under the breast opened a little. My surgeon stitched it up and put me on a week worth of antibiotics. Two days after that script ran out I was feeling some pain in my breast again. When I went to clean the area, I noticed there was a milky white discharge. The stitches were still in place but it was oozing from behind them. I didn't want to do anything wrong so I called my surgeon spoke with him about it. He asked if I was running a fever or if there was swelling or redness in my breasts, to which I said "no". So he told me to meet him at his office the following morning and not to eat anything after midnight just in case he needed to go in and take a look around to see what was happening. So Christmas Eve at 8am I'm in my surgeons office and he has his emergency team with him. He tells me he'll need to go in and take a look around and if he finds anything out of the ordinary, he'll have to remove the implant. This news upset me as I'd waited such a long time for them. Not only that, my mind was already tallying up how much this surgery was going to cost and how much it would cost me in the future to have it replaced. He told me if he did have to remove it, he'd only be removing the one and leaving the other there. The implant would still be under warranty so I wouldn't have to worry about the cost of that. At that point I was almost in tears because I was still worried about the addition costs; bringing him and his team out on a public holiday, the anesthesia, the post-op drugs, the follow-up surgery; everything was mounting up in my head. Then he told me the best news ever. It would all be done at no extra cost to me. I could have kissed him right then and there. After all the drama I've had to go through with the insurance company for my lap band surgery, (oh and I'm still having drama with that, but that's another story for another day) I couldn't believe what he was telling me. But I digress..... So he went in to see what was going on and it turns out I'd developed an infection. There was good news and bad news. The good news was he caught it early and there was minimal damage to my natural breast tissue. The bad news was he had to remove the implant and clean out a protein build-up that was causing the infection. So now I have 2 different sized breasts. It's been emotionally draining and if I'm honest, a lot harder to deal with physically than my lap band surgery. I've been very moody. I've had to keep in constant contact with my surgeon and visit him sometimes twice a week. He's been very protective, and while I certainly appreciate that, it's tiring have to visit him so often on top of trying to heal, trying to enjoy the holidays, trying to keep my eating in check, trying not to be a total biatch!!!! It's been a battle I've lost more often than I've won. My weight has been up and down. Thankfully it's not gone back into the 200's yet *touch wood*. I've been down to 194 and up to 198 and it's hard trying to keep out of the fridge and pantry when I haven't been able to head off to the gym and walk those thoughts off on the treadmill. But I got the all clear to exercise again yesterday and I've been able to get my gym fix (albeit a little more slowly) the past two days. I never ever thought I'd miss exercise! :confused: I guess that's a very unexpected NSV that I'm proud of. Anyway ladies, it's good to be back again and be able to get all my frustrations out. Thank you all. You're the best. :kiss2:

Hi 7s, :wave: It's been a while since I've checked in. I didn't realize how long I'd been away from the forum until I got an e-mail notification saying "We miss you Frustrated." I think I came down with some type of flu that kept me pretty much immobilized for a week. Once I recovered from that I had a problem with my left breast. As you know I had surgery last month, and one of the incisions under my breast came loose and I had a hole that was about the size that if you put the tip of a ballpoint pen through a piece of paper, that would be it. It's apparently the most common complication with this type of surgery. Unfortunately we were in Austin at the time, so couldn't get back to see my plastic surgeon until the end of that week. He advised me to apply an antibiotic cream and take it REALLY easy, as in no physical activity that would raise my heart rate. We dropped in on him on the way home last Friday and he stitched things up and ordered me not to do any exercising until my next check-up visit on Wednesday. With my bout of flu and the surgery complication, it meant I wasn't able to do any exercising for about 2 weeks. I really missed it. I didn't realize until then how my daily treadmill workout would clear the cobwebs out and start my day off well. Two weeks without that made me grumpy and irritable. During this down time I gained back some weight and went up to 204, which didn't help with my mood. But today is the second day I've been able to exercise and I jumped on the scales this morning and...... *drumroll* I am officially in Onederland now!!! 199.6lbs :whoo:I'm so pleased and proud of myself. I have to catch up on the posts I've missed since being absent but don't have the time right now. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm back on track again and I missed you all!

Good morning 7s :wave: We're in Austin this week. Another of my hubby's little surprises. He knows how much I love them! He brought us along on his business trip, and although he's busy all day, our son and I have plenty to keep us occupied. I got on the scales on Saturday morning and I hit 200 even. I was trying desperately to make it go down a little more. I lifted my little toe, let out all my breath, stepped off and on to try and make it move just an eensy weensy bit to 199.9. LOL. No such luck. Booooooo! lol To make matters worse, I don't have my scales with me to climb on every morning. So I won't know until we get back on Saturday if I've hit Onderland or gained a little more weight. I don't know if that's good or bad, LOL. Anyway, just stopping in to say hi. Hubby has to take his laptop off to work with him in a moment, so I best be off. :wave:

There was a time in my life when I went through a very depressive and stressful stage. I don't do psychologists/counsellors too well because a lot of the time I feel they're patronising me or telling me things I already know. So I took to self healing. I allowed myself to have a pity party every night from 8pm - 9pm. I would cry. I'd scream. I'd tell myself everything that was wrong with me and the world. I'd let it all out! When it came to 9pm though, I had to stop thinking those self-pity and destructive thoughts. My allocated time was up. So I'd do something else like clean house (boy was my home spotless at that time, lol) or watch TV or read a book. I felt so much better allowing myself time each evening to feel sorry for myself and hateful at the world. The stresses were always there waiting for me in the morning, but my appointment time for venting wasn't until 8pm, so it was put on hold. At the time I was single and alone, so I didn't have to worry about concerning a partner and child with my outbursts and tantrums. But if you could find some alone time during the day, I think you should allow your negative feelings and emotions their time in the sun. During that time I discovered that suppressing your feelings very rarely works. I just put them on hold so I could function through the rest of the day because I knew I had my pity party to look forward to in the evening.

I chew gum and drink more Water. I've become a gum addict. Orbit Spearmint to be exact, although I do have some Peppermint as well for a change. Usually my problem time is in the afternoon and I can go through a pack of 14 gum sticks until dinnertime. Once the flavor has disappeared I need to pop in another piece. Drinking water at the same time for me makes it taste refreshing. It's how I get through head hunger most times. It doesn't work 100% of the time, but I'll only have a weak moment once in a while.

Oh no! I think the bond was set high because it wasn't his first time. It could be time to show some tough love and tell him to spend a little time in there to think bout what he's done to get where he is. At 35 he should know better. Having said that, I don't think I could practice what I preach. I'd bail mine out too. :rolleyes

They're doing well. They're starting to itch, so that's a sure sign of healing. Yesterday I went Christmas shopping. The mall is about three quarters of a mile away, so I walked there. Then I did plenty of walking inside the mall. I was exhausted but had to make the trek back again. GAH!!! As a result I flopped on the couch and napped for an hour. I woke this morning feeling sore all over and could barely find the energy to walk my son to the bus stop. He told me to go back to bed, that he'd walk up with his friend. Bless him. I did and got another 2 hours sleep. I'm feeling better now and am anxious to go to the gym and do my 30 minute workout on there, but I don't want to overdo it again. I'll see if I'm still feeling perky in an hour or so. The December challenge is good inspiration. Normally I would say "I'm just going to skip it today" but I always take Sunday off and every other Saturday and I don't want to fall too far behind. I've forgotten who started the challenge, but thank you for helping me something to keep focused on my exercise. It stops me from being lazy. I think I'll do this every month. :biggrin1:

:welcome: Welcome to our friendly little group kcval. I've lost 37lbs since being banded a week before you were. I lost a lot fast, and then I had a few weeks where I lost nothing at all. I don't consider it to be a small amount of weight. I started at 240. I have fantastic days and I have bad days. I come here when I'm feeling both and I always log out feeling better. Either because someone knows my frustrations exactly on my bad days, or I've been able to help someone out on my good days. I don't consider what you've lost so far to be slow. But what my doctor said was that if I went for 2 weeks without losing any weight (or gaining), then it was time for a fill. I have a 4cc band and I *think* I have 2.25 in there. I can't remember. Like others said, that really isn't important. What is important is that this band, which you should consider a tool, is working the way it should be. I don't remember the last time I felt "full" after a meal. But I do know what it feels like to eat more than I should or need to. I'm bent over the toilet sliming it up again until the excess and more has come back out. I don't like that. It stops me from pigging out. I also made the realisation that during the times when my weight loss had stalled, it was because I wasn't eating enough. Not getting enough protein and not drinking my requirement of water. I've also become a gum addict. I typically go through a pack a day of sugar free gum. Sometimes I just need to have something in my mouth moving and chewing to curb my appetite. I also find that I enjoy drinking my water more when I have gum in my mouth as it makes it taste fresher. I think it's important to try to have protein with every meal you have. Typically I'll have a protein drink for breakfast as my restriction is quite tight then and it's all I can manage. For lunch I'll try to have some cottage cheese or some bacon or something. Dinner is hit and miss for me these days. I'm trying to get more leafy greens in and sometimes they'll go down and sometimes they just won't. For snacks I've started counting out 6 fish crackers or cheezits. I'm trying to get food into my body every 3 hours to keep my metabolism moving. I've started on banana or grapes for snacks as well now as I want some variety and healthier choices, but they don't always go down smoothly. My advice would be to tweak your diet, call your doctor's office with your concerns and see if you're in need of a fill, or they may have diet advice to help you.

I agree as well. It's a coincidence that I was thinking today about where I'm at on the fatty/skinny scale of things. I still consider myself more of a fatty, but I get closer to being a skinny every day. Then I wondered what you'd call someone in the middle, and the only word I could come up with that was a combination of fatty and skinny was "fanny". I don't think I'll be using that to describe myself, lol.

Indio and mango: Thank you so much for your words. I don't know how many times this group makes me feel like I'm not alone in the world because someone here always knows exactly what I'm talking about. It makes me cry sometimes. Cry in a good way, not bad. marcy: Apparently there are jeans for every shape body. All you have to do is ask someone what type of jean would suit your body. Yeah, well I'm not brave enough to ask someone 10 sizes smaller than me what type of jean I'd look good in. But maybe you can google online and find some fashion pages that talk about what type of jeans/skirts/dresses to buy to hide or accentuate certain parts of your body. A lot of it depends what type of body you are. The ones I can remember off the top of my head are pear - where you're small up top but your butt and thighs are larger; apple - where you're round all over; triangle - where you're large in your upper torso area but are smaller in your hips, tummy, thighs; rectangle - where you're big all over but without any curves - and of course there's hourglass - those wenches like Marylin Monroe (lol) with small waists but have the curves both up and down.

Distant - you're looking great! I look at your before pic and think to myself, I'm only 4lbs heavier than you are there, but it's not possible that I look that good. :heh: Congrats mango on making it to Onderland. I'm not far behind and am looking forward to getting there myself. I need new clothes. My 18 jeans are too big and even when I wear a belt with them they look saggy in the butt and the front. My 16s are loose and will probably soon be the same as my 18s. And I don't know if anyone else has this problem, but I can't bring myself to go and buy size 14 jeans. I worry that I'm going to get in the store and try a pair on and they won't fit. Not just won't fit, but I won't be able to get the button anywhere near the hole to do up. It's stupid. I know it's a stupid way to think. Somewhere in my head I know I should be able to get into them, but it's such a distant voice.... I've always hated shopping because whenever I've gone I've had to look in the plus size section. And the sizes I've had to wear in that section increased slowly, but surely. And I can't get my head past that feeling of needing a bigger size each time I went in. Of feeling worthless, ugly and disgusted with myself. Those are powerful emotions. When I finally got into my 18s again I was over the moon and felt and looked good. When I put them on now they hang and sag and I feel they make me look fatter. How is that possible? I'm trying to convince myself that if I go and I can't fit into a 14 that it's okay to still buy a 16 because sometimes sizes differ with different brands. And then that other voice in my head tells me "You're making excuses...." because I got so good at that. Like a 20 wasn't that much bigger than an 18, and prior to that an 18 wasn't that much bigger than a 16, a 16 wasn't that much bigger than a 14. But going down I'm just so afraid that I'll go in there thinking I need a 14 and I'll discover I need a 16 and those old emotions will flood back in and send me in a spiral of depression. Damn these fat demons!!!!!

Oh kirajh. We are our own worst enemies. The rest of the world will see a difference in our bodies before we ever will. Remember that. And even when we do see a difference, we get down on ourselves that it's not enough and we're still fat anyway. Our "fat heads" are responsible for our addictions to food and our lack of self-esteem. We have to stop allowing our "fat heads" to control our brain and way of thinking and take that power back! And NEVER give it up again!!! We don't need to eat the entire pack of chocolate. We don't need to buy a dozen donuts. We don't need to eat as much as we can fit in us before getting sick. Our "fat heads" have told us we do. They've lied! Something else you need to consider is that it's just not the fat you see in the bulges in your tummy and the extra chins and dimpled limbs we also have a lot of fat on the inside. They're coating our organs. Our very important organs. The ones keeping us alive! THIS is the fat that is so deadly to our bodies! THIS is the fat that can kill us and has killed many before us. It's responsible for heart disease, diabetes, and all those types of things. Getting rid of that fat first is more important than getting rid of the wobble on our butts and thighs. So if you're not seeing the results in the mirror, or on the scales, or on the measuring tape, it could be that you're losing that killer fat that's surrounding your organs. Don't let your "fat head" take control of your thinking and encourage you to do something you'll regret. "Fat head" needs to never be in control again!

Hi everyone :wave: Thank you all for the kind words. I know it seems strange that I'm a contradiction in that I don't want to be fat, but I want to have big boobs (which are just fat really). But I've always liked them. When they'd hang I could pick them up and stuff them into my bra and they'd at least look perky. Now I don't have to do that. When I'm braless I can look down and see my nipples. I like that. I was told that there will probably be some decrease in size as I lose more weight, but because I got such large implants, this probably shouldn't be as much of an issue. Hubby said he's more than happy for me to get another one should I feel I want any loss filled or any drooping lifted. I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive husband. And yes, I do thank my lucky stars every day and appreciate every ounce of him. I've been in a relationship with a man who was probably the complete opposite; selfish, egotistical, demanding, immature, etc. So I know how good I have it now. I started my December exercise challenge today! I'll have to set up something in my signature for that.....

:update: Okay, so my new and exciting news that I wanted to share with you all is that as an early Christmas surprise, my hubby got me a boob job!!!:wow2: We went for what I thought was a preliminary consultation for something I wanted done some time next year when my weight was down at least the upper hundreds. But no, unbeknown to me my hubby had arranged for me to tell the doctor what I was looking for, what size I wanted, etc, etc. And then hubby secretly called back and booked the surgery for Nov 14. As there weren't any pre-op requirements other than discontinuing my vitamins for a week. He hid my supply and knows me soooooooooo well where I believed I'd misplaced them myself and would continue to "remind" myself every day to get more but forget every single time. :embarassed: So come the evening of the 13th, just as we're getting into bed, my hubby says, I have a surprise for you in the morning. Don't eat or drink anything, we're getting up early to go for a breakfast surprise appointment at 8am. YAY! I thought and went off to sleep mildly excited about the change in routine in the morning. An hour before surgery I was required to take 2 pills. As the doctor's office is a 45 minute drive away, he told me to pop them just as we were walking out the door. Of course I'm telling him I'm not putting anything weird in my system at all and refuse. He kissed me and said "Trust me!" Well, I trust my husband with my life and my soul, so took these two pills and off we set. Then we arrived at the surgeons office and he turns to me and tells me "Babe, you know that boob job you've wanted even more and WAY before you lap band surgery? Well you're getting it today. Now. That's why we're here." I burst into tears I was so happy! He knows how long my battle with my "oranges in a sock" has been going on for. Probably as long as my battle with weight. The ONLY thing I liked about being fat was that I had large breasts, and I liked that. Even though I had to lift them up and stuff them into my bra to make them look decent, I always felt better about myself when my breasts looked "okay", even if they weren't really. So I got a lift and had boobs installed that day and of course it derailed me from the TG weight loss challenge. Pre-surgery my weight was at 203, the day after it went up to 212, today it's back at 203. So even though I didn't meet my target for TG I take into consideration that I'm also carrying around extra weight with my implants. They're BIG ones. I was a 38DD prior to surgery and the bra I'm wearing today is 38H. :biggrin1: I know large breasts isn't everyone's idea of a good thing, but my hubby is a boob man and I've always liked them big, not so much when they sagged, so we are very VERY happy campers today. I had to stop exercising completely for a week. I got back onto the treadmill for the first time last Friday and took it very slowly and I felt fantastic!!!! It was all I could do to stop myself from playing air guitar through my Queen music on my iPod the entire time. LOL So that's my news and it's given me more pep in my step and helped me more than I expected when it comes to food control. I'm happier. My nipples no longer point to the ground! Courtesy of Queen: Don't stop me now, I'm having a such a good time, I'm having a ball. Don't stop me now, If you wanna have a good time, Just give me a call. Don't stop me now (cos I'm having a good time) Don't stop me (yes I'm having a good time) I don't wanna stop at all...... :bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce:

Hi 7s :wave: I've been missing for a couple of weeks now. Don't feel bad if you didn't notice, I'm one of those people you don't miss until I show up again. :heh: It's a little late in the evening so I don't want to get into the reason behind my absence tonight, just wanted to say it's good to be back. :biggrin1: I need to catch up on all the posts I've missed and I'll do that tomorrow. Tonight though I wanted to make sure I was registered for the December challenges. I'm pretty sure I already told Nicole to count me in, but in case I didn't - count me in. Also for the weight loss challenge, put me down for Level 3. I figure I'll aim high and if I don't make my goal, there are other smaller goals there that will be my back-up. BTW, I missed my Thanksgiving target. I was 205 when I started the challenge and am 203 today. I'm not down about that, as will be explained tomorrow. G'night for now my lovlies. :notagree

Is it possible for you to get one of those big inflatable exercise balls? They're really not that expensive. Then you can do some exercises in front of the TV. It won't be cardio or anything, but you can do sit-ups and lots of other different things. Here's a link to one site that I found that may give you some ideas. PF Exercise Ball Exercise Chart Pack If that's not your cup of tea, I'm sure others in our 7s group could come up with something for you. And for all of us, really.

That's a terrific idea Nichole! Count me in.