helgaready

I am a mom of one, a beautiful and smart 21 year old - had her when I was way young but couldnt imagine my years without her. She currently in nursing school nearing completion of her RN license. I am so proud of her. She is due to give birth my first grandchild next month. I could not be happier. So many wonderful new leases on life have come to me in 2012.

I contemplated having surgery for about 3 years. Even had a date set back in April of 2009 but talked myself out of it, listening to other people. Everyone would say I was "not that big" translation - you are big just not big as others I have seen. Or they would say I carried my weight well. I looked good for my size, which is the worst backhanded compliment/insult. Or I was from a big family so I could not help it. Forever I bought into all that mess and worked hard at making myself and everyone around me think I was so happy until December 2011. That marked my breaking point and coming to terms how I really felt about myself. It was the first time I had taken a real vacation in over 10 years. I was so excited until I realized I had to put on a swimsuit as we were going to the beach. Uh no...I had a mini meltdown hating how I looked, how I felt and thinking everyone around me was looking at me in disgust. I knew then I wanted the surgery. I applied for a loan and denied by three places. I cried because I didnt meet the insurance qualification. I was obese just not obese enough...So I asked my mom to cosign and she flat out refused because surgery was a waste of money and I was not big anyways. Well I waited and in June 2012, I applied for a loan again at 5 different places and everyone approved me including including two credit unions. I scheduled surgery for August 17, 2012 and been smiles every since.