JerseyGirl68

Source: What nine months and 152.5 lbs down looks like.
I wanna look at this later when I'm losing my mind.

OMG...they FIT, they FIT, they FIT!!!!
 
The JEANS, that I have had in my closet forever...FIT!!! Skinny, yet curvy(curvy is GOOD people!!)
 
SO...I was in the closet, I decided today was the day I was going to try them on AGAIN...thinking to myself, "oh these didn't fit 3 weeks ago, they will fit in about a month from now". WELL...I put them on, because I always love denim, and I buttoned them, smile began to surface...zipped them, BIG cheesy grin by this time, AND...I AM STILL BREATHING!!! So you better believe I did NOT take these suckers off!!!!
 
I've been doing a little jig, with a little song that just makes the big cheesy grin, not so cheesy...they fit, uh-huh, they fit...oh yea!!!!
 
It's the little successes that are HUGE!!! Just made my day!!!
 
Have a blessed day!!! Keep up the good work everyone and remember to be FABULOUS today!!!

My wife was going to Walmart yesterday, and texted me at work to ask if I needed anything. I said 'new clothes and sneakers'. I wasn't expecting her to actually buy me anything, but she asked what size pants I was wearing now. I had to close my office door so that I could check the size of the jeans I'm currently wearing. I told her they are a 36 and would fall down without a belt. I never even realized that I was wearing a 36 until I checked yesterday. These are old jeans I still had in my drawer from years ago, and are the only ones that aren't ridiculously big on me now. She asked me what size I was wearing when I was at my biggest. I said that I never really knew my 'true' size. I was wearing 42 or 44, but was wearing them under the belly, not at the belly like you're supposed to, so was probably bigger. She picked me up 4 pairs of shorts, in 34. I thought 'no way are these going to fit'. Well, guess what - they did! I haven't been a 34 in probably 17 years, I'm guessing. Can't believe I've come this far in only 4 months! This is the best thing I've ever done for myself (besides marrying my wife).

In May I wore a skirt that was rather snug. Today I put on the same skirt and i can spin the waist band around without any problem. It looks wonderful!
 
The pounds are falling away and the dress sizes right along with them. What a great feeling. I can only imagine what it will be like after surgery.
 
The Salvation Army and Goodwill are going to receive tons of clothes from me soon. So excited. I can't wait to purge the closets. I have planned to start with my winter clothes. All 22/20 are going out the door.
 
I have a pair of jeans that I keep as motivation. I try them on once a month. I plan to try them on Sunday before surgery so I can see how far I've come to my goal.
 
Let them fall is what I say, let them fall!

Subtitle: I'm no longer obese! I'm no longer obese!
I never in my life thought I'd be so happy to utter these words! I weighed in this morning at 227.0. That calculates to a BMI of 29.9, and I'm no longer considered obese! I was 227.6 yesterday, so I knew it would be a matter of days.
In less than 8 short weeks, I've moved from obese to overweight, have cut my blood pressure medication dosage in half, and stopped taking my prescription Prilosec. Next goals: I'm 3 lbs away from losing 50, getting off my BP med completely, and getting off my CPAP machine (AKA the medieval torture device). Another (perhaps less realistic) goal is to lose 7 lbs by May 13. May 13 is my 13th wedding anniversary, and I'd love to get down to the same weight I was then (220). It will be hard, because my weight loss has slowed this past week or so, but I know it's possible.

I was truly surprised to see the calorie difference between 4oz. of 93% hamburger and 85% hamburger. Almost 110 calories per 4oz.!
 
Even though the 93% costs about $1 per lb more, I've noticed that, after cooking, the amount of cooked hamburger is almost the same between the two. There's so much shrinkage, that they are pretty much the same in cost in the end. So I think I'll spend the extra dollar per pound and save 110 calories.
 
 
 
I thought it might be enlightening to grab some common calorie counts for ground beef, chicken and turkey and compare them side-by-side.
 
Click on the pics to enlarge them.
 



 
 
Standard Disclaimer: This is by no means the definitive numbers for these products. The numbers vary depending on the manufacturer. These numbers are presented to make you aware of the differences in calorie counts and fat content.
 
You can find much more specific details by manufacturer or by food group by searching this database:
http://caloriecount....oods&searchpro=
 
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Well, this is embarrassing to admit, but for the past 2 years I've had to sit down to pee. At some point my gut and the fat pooch above my junk got too big and it was a real hassle (and messy) to use the urinals. So it was just easier and cleaner to sit on the toilet.
 
So it was a happy surprise when I realized yesterday that I could use the urinals again. My job requires a dress shirt.
 
I hated having to drop trou, tuck my shirt tale back in, and fight with my belt every time I went to the bathroom.
 
Now I can go back to hosing down the back of the urinal and destroying the cigarette butts at the bottom. :-P
 
P.S. They must think guys are pretty dumb around here. I saw a sign above the urinal that read, "Please don't eat the big white mint!"
 

This afternoon I had my one month check up with Dr. Fowler, although technically it is almost 5 weeks. According to his scale, I weighed in at 278. I weighed myself this morning and was 276 on my scale at home (which is a 1 lb difference from his...I already figured that out). So within a few hours I gained a couple pounds, but I'm not worried about it. I had done a lot of cardio and drank a lot before my afternoon appointment. I think I will stick to morning appointments from now on though because I don't like to see the number go up in a few hours ...no matter what the reason is.
 
I was able to ask him some questions that I have been wondering. First, I had a 38 bougie used on my tummy. He said he always uses this size. He used to use anywhere between a 28 and 60, but over the years they have found that a 38 has had the least amount of complications. I was worried this was big and did some research on the net as to what the difference is between a 32 and a 38. Well, it is miniscule. Anyone who is worried that a 38 is too big has nothing to worry about. It is literally the diameter of a pen and a 32? Well just a smaller pen. Compared to the size of the stomach before it is a huge difference! I'm not worried anymore now that I understand how miniscule the differences are.
 
I was also able to ask him about my calorie intake. It has been bothering me for some time that I am rarely hungry and get in about 300 to 600 calories daily. There are others who can eat twice as much as that and had surgery the same week. I was worried that I wasn't getting enough nutrition and that it might stall my weight loss. He basically told me not to worry about my calories. He said I wasn't losing weight super fast so it isn't even an issue. He just told me as long as I am getting my protein, water, and vitamins in that it basically doesn't matter. As to why I am rarely hungry, he said that was a sign that my body is still in ketosis. Yay! I feel so much better. I will not be forcing myself to get in more calories than my body wants anymore. I am just going to listen to my body. One more thing I have to work on is not eating until I am full. I want to learn how to eat until I am satisfied which requires me eating super slow. I still haven't mastered that one yet! But that is my goal as far as eating goes.
 
I joined the gym today! Yep, I finally got down to it. I have had a gym membership pretty much my whole entire life except for the past two years. I canceled it because I just wasn't using it. Well, I joined. I actually sat in the car for a good half an hour just staring at the gym. I had a little anxiety about walking in there. Is everyone going to look at me? Are they going to be rude to me? Well I got over it. I just said in my mind I need to do this for me. I got signed up and did my 60 minutes of cardio. For me, it is so much easier working out in a gym setting. I hate working out at home. I love being able to focus on no one, but myself. I love blasting my music and tuning the whole world out. It is my peace and quiet time. I think that is why I used to love going to the gym before. It is almost like meditation for me. It was exciting and I am not even tired.
 
So all in all, today was a good day. No, it was a great day! I am so looking forward to my weight loss with my tool and my newly added gym membership.

Just got the call from my bank!! I'm approved!! SURGERY IS OFFICALLY A GO! I never thought this would happen so fast! It's something I just started really investigating in January, and it looks like I'll be signed tomorrow, and can schedule surgery as early as the end of this month...
Funny, all those nervous feelings are gone- I'm totally confident in the choice I'm making, and frankly, I'm ready to have my LIFE BACK.
I'll keep you posted!!

Wow, it's been a long time since I have been here. Post sleeve life has been good. Ups and downs and unforeseen events but the majority of it I would not trade if I could. Weight is still an important part of my life but it does not hold the control over me that it did while I was obese or even that it did for the first 18 months post op. I was fanatical about doing everything right in order to shed the weight as quickly as I could. It worked by following the recommendations of my surgical center professionals. I have since realized I can not live the rest of my life so regimented and constrained. That does not however mean that those things that were recommended and I proved worked will be abandoned. It is really about using those tools I learned, in addition to my surgical tool, to manage my weight for the rest of my life. My weight is under my control I am not under it's control.
 
I started my journey on Nov 23, 2010 at 492lbs. One year post op (Jan. 10, 2012) I was 200. Today nearly 2 years post op. (Jan 7, 2013) I set here at 196. This is about 6 lbs heavier than I want to be. I had gotten to a low weight of 177 around September 2012. I was still 4lbs away from "ïdeal" weight but my body fat was under 9% and I felt like crap. For once in my life I made a conscientious decision to be heavier. That concept is still surreal to me even as I type this. I found that I felt the best and looked the best in a range between 185 and 195. I am using a target of 190 as my new life goal. Now is where I get to make myself feel better and preface that this is all weight before any removal of loose skin so in all reality my "real" body does weight less. My best guess based on others I have seen that have had removal is that I have at least 25lbs of skin that could go. Will I ever be able to get the skin removed so that I can actually see what my "real"body looks like? Who knows, I doubt it. And yes there is a bunch of extra skin. I like to make jokes about it, after-all who doesn't want a butt that looks like a Shar-Pei? The reality though is that it sucks. I have bags and folds that are a constant reminder of the size this container used to be. I can dress it well but in my birthday suit it is not a pleasant sight. Uhhhhggggg! Is the extra skin burdensome enough to regret the decision to have surgery, nope, never. The surgery is still the best decision I have ever made.
 
One statement of advice to those looking to go through this that have significant others (in the pre-politically correct days I would have said spouses). Be very aware of what THEY are going through as you are on your journey. This affects them too and often in a blindsiding way. Even the most supportive and enthusiastic partner can get lost in the waves of attention that a successful WLS patient will be seeing. And trust me, when they get swept under and begin to feel like WLS has unexpectedly become their whole life too.....the results are not good.
 
I hope you all are doing well and I will be back more often. I had forgotten how good it feels to simply put into text what is swimming around in my mind. Take care Ya'll!

almost four months out from my sleeve. started at a size 20/22. went shopping this last weekend, as my pants were literally falling off. took a size 14 into the dressing room "just to see".
 
when they fit, i looked at myself in the mirror and said, "shut the front door". someone in the dressing room next to me laughed. i know size is not everything but for some reason being able to wear a size 14 jean is AMAZING!!!!! have not been this size in over twelve years.
 
my knees/ankles no longer hurt. i am able to give my children tight squeezes. i caught my husband looking at me the other day. literally, staring at me with that look in his eyes.
 
for those on the fence regarding this surgery, you need to have this surgery. yes, there are times when it blows, BUT the times when it rocks greatly outweigh the negatives.
 
thanks to everyone who post questions/comments on this website. to know there are others out there experiencing the same feelings/emotions is such a great comfort.
 
happy holidays!

Hello everyone,
 
Well, I DID IT! I was sleeved yesterday (11/16) at noon. I still can't believe it's over already. We arrived at the hospital at 10 a.m., where they checked me and took me back to pre-op area. The nurse there....Kathy, was GREAT. She was very attentive, talkative and interactive. While she was asking me all the health history questions, she asked me how I got to the point where I knew the 'sleeve' was what i wanted to do. I told her that between meeting with my PCP where he recommended it, attending the seminar held by the surgeon and his Nurse Practitioner, I decided it was the one of the 3 that had the best results without being the most extreme. (Yes, I know, taking 85% of my stomach is extreme, but...)
 
Once pre-op was completed, and it took a specialist to get the IV started in my upper left arm, the surgery nurse came in and took me down to the operating room. There they inflated a new matress they have that when inflated, makes it so those who are moving your from your bed to the surgery table don't have to strain quite as much and it's much easier on their backs. After I was situated, the anesthesiologist started placing the monitoring pads on my upper chest. Then he said he wanted to put this mask on me to give me more oxygen and help calm me down a little. (I didn't think I was having problems stayin calm....but what ever). That is essentially all I remember. I don't remember waking up in recovery, and I don't remember being moved from recovery to my room. All I remember was that my hubby, sister, sis-in-law and mom-in-law were in the room chit chatting until I woke up. Then the nurse explained what everything was, and handed me the morphine drip button. I tried very hard to not use it any more often than necessary. Overnight, the nurses would come it to check my vitals, give me a shot for this, add another bag of something to the IV, ask how I was etc. I have to admit, I don't think I slept for more than 2 hrs at a stretch. At about 5 a.m., the tech came in and asked if I wanted to move to the chair. I did, of course, as I had been lying down since 11 a.m. the day before. My mouth was a dry mess, and all they offered were lemon flavored mouth swabs (YUCK). I would use that to get the most of the try out, and then I would dip it into a cup of water and rinse a little more that way, making sure I did not swallow.
 
At about 7:30 a.m., Sydney (the tech) came in and announced we were heading down to x-ray where they could do a leak test. While I as standing there, they handed me this tall milk white container with the barium in it. As I stood there the x-ray tech asked me to take a couple big drinks (which kind of scared me with the sleeve!) so he could see it running through my esophagus and to my stomach to witness if there were any leaks. After 4 different views, he was done (it took all of about 10 min) I was sent back to my room to wait for the Dr. with the results.
 
A couple hours later, the doctor showed up and said he was pleased with how surgery went, and that the leak test showed no issues. He would come back after noon and see how things are going and likely send me home.
 
After he left, the lead nurse (Deanna) removed the catheter....(damned glad I don't have to do THAT very often) the nurses and my sister helped me shower and change into my street clothes (all but my t-shirt since I was still connected to the IV). Once they got the orders to remove me from the IV, I was able to put on my t-shirts.
 
Dr. came in about 1:15 or so and asked if I wanted to go home. So, I asked him if he wanted to send me home. He said definitely. Everything is going well, and he wrote orders for the nurses and then wrote a prescription for vicoden for me. Deanna came back in with the final papers for me to sign, and then I got to leave (via wheelchair to my hubby waiting in the car at the door). We then took a trip to the closest pharmacy to get my prescription filled....they didn't have the dosage he was asing for...so we tried another...same issue. Then we tried a 3rd, and by then we realized the dr had added his cell number to the bottom of the prescription, so the pharmacist called to discuss the dosage and find out if it could be modified. He said yes, so we got the medicine and headed home.
 
I have now declared where I will be the next couple of days while I recover (recliner in the front room).
 
This first day hasn't been all that aweful, but it hasn't been a cake walk either. I have quite a bit of discomfort where the air bubble is sitting on my diaphram, and from the 1 - 1 1/2" incision at the top of my bellybutton to remove the stomach through. Other than that, the pain is rather minimal.
 
I hope all that have an upcoming surgery date, will go ahead and do it. By reading all the posts on here, I know that day 2 will be better than today, and day 3 better than that and so on. I can't wait for the New Year and the new me!!

Well, my Hospital just called me today for my pre-registration information for my sleeve surgery coming up Nov 6th! Wow, it's getting "so real" now. LOL Another step towards my new beginnings! I have the butterflies in my stomach when I think about my surgery day.
I wish I didn't get anxiety so fricken bad! I know the night before I won't sleep well, and I will feel sick to my stomach the morning of. *Sigh* Kathy

Whoa! It seems like yesterday, I wrote 90 day countdown and here it is already past my checkpoint of 60 days. Where has the time gone.
 
I have spent time researching, reading, watching videos, encouraging new comers, supporting vets all the while...stressing over my own circumstance.
It is a good stress though, because I am anxious for the things to come. I already anticipate greater opportunities for my life. It starts with my health but encompasses a great deal more. I'm here and I can't stop until I have reached my goals.
 
55 days will soon be 5 days and before you know it I will be PatientlyWtng no more!
 
Be Blessed!

My husband is with me, I have my beautiful packing list that I developed from this forum (thanks!) all with me, and I’m ready. I have my health care proxy, made videos for my loved ones in case of anything, and was ready. At 10:20am, I went under the knife.
I’m not really sure what time I woke up, but I think it’s around 3, because my husband was going to pick up my daughter from school. I’m a little groggy, but I don’t feel any pain. Yay! My mouth is dry, but the nurse brought me a swab for my mouth. My hubby tells me that the nurse came to ask me a bunch of questions and he had to answer because I kept falling asleep. Oh well. I don’t remember much from the rest of the day. That night I did have a little nausea, and a little bit of discomfort. I wouldn’t say pain, but discomfort. But I have a ridiculously sensitive gag reflex, and did throw up a little bit that night. Strange feeling.
The next day, I was feeling a little more alert, and my hubby was with me for the day, although I still slept a lot. They brought me the little cups of isopure. I didn’t like isopure much before the surgery, and certainly didn’t like it much afterwards. But I could also drink water. My surgeon said that for the first week I needed to focus on fluids. We would worry about protein later. It was nice to have 1 thing to focus on instead of 100. So, I drank water, some isopure, and had a delightful cream of chicken soup. And walked. I did 3 laps that day, 990 feet, and felt great still. No more discomfort, except for some gas. Yay warm compresses! They took my catheter off, which was kind of sad. It was nice to not have to worry about going to the bathroom. I know that sounds weird, but hey, that’s what I was thinking. It was nice to not have to carry the lovely catheter bag with me on my walks. J
So, I am “eating” ok, drinking ok, feeling pretty good. My husband leaves and brings my daughter to visit. She wasn’t interested in the hospital, and after giving me a hug and kiss, she wanted to leave. I got to watch all the tv I could stand, and got caught up on my hgtv shows. Had a good night, and the next day I knew was most likely going to be my return to the real world day. I was excited, but nervous about having to remember everything I needed to do.
So, on Oct. 11, I did a few walks, visited with my very nice roommate, and just got ready to go. They cleared me to leave at 3, which is of course shift change, so I left at 4. Still feeling good, no pain, although the incisions hurt if I touched them, but that’s obviously going to get better. Drove home, and the real adventure begins! I weighed myself that first night home (holy cow, I had missed my comfy bed!), and I was down to 314.

Family.
 
This morning I was on the phone with my sister. We are actually very close, but we live kind of far apart - in nearby, but not neighboring states. However, despite the miles we talk almost every day and we really share openly our emotions and goings-on.
 
So this morning I mentioned that I had a pre-surgery appointment next week and she was asking me how this surgery was going to change my perception of food, in short (no need to provide every detail of the conversation, because it would take too long) and I wondered whether some of what she said doesn't make sense for me.
 
So, if the purpose of this surgery is to help me control portion in order to facilitate weight loss, why can't I do that now? She mentioned eating every couple of hours a small portion of something to keep hunger at bay. And it made me think: how do I eat now? I don't think I even really know the answer to that question. I just know it must be too much or I wouldn't be this fat. So I need to recall what I ate in the past 12-16 hours. This morning I had a bowl of honey nut cheerios with half a banana and 1% milk. It was a pretty big bowl. Probably 1.5 c milk and 2 c cereal.
 
Last night I ate about 1 c homemade baked macaroni, 4 small pork cutlets, 2c salad. Then I had a cup of coffee, three raspberry squares, and before bed a large cheese danish. Not because I needed it. Just because it was there and I wanted it. So, of course I'm fat. No one can eat that many calories and not pay for it. So why did I want it? Texture, taste, sugar... all were part of it, and I remember thinking that if I don't eat it, it could go bad before I can get to it.
 
I also recognize that I have a sweet tooth. How will surgery stop that?!
 
Thanks for reading. As always, comments are welcome!

So.....this is me and my journey of what brought me to where I am today.... This blog may make you laugh, smile and even cry.. but I just want everyone to see who I am and what brought me to this amazing experience...
 
As of today I am 29 years old and 35 pounds lighter than I was a month ago... but what got me to the point of having to have the sleeve? Well let me lay it out for you...
 
I have always been fat...from the day I was came into this world I always had more padding than was needed! My parents and sisters are both extra fluffy as well so growing up I didn't realize how different I was or what I was missing out on or not doing because of my weight because being around my family I seemed normal...I never really got teased in school for my weight, there were occasional times where kids would tease me..one time I walked past a girls desk and she started shaking like there was an earthquake. I grew up in Arizona where there aren't earthquakes, the thing is she was the same size as me so I tried not to let it bother me.
 
Then there was the time when I wore a red shirt and kids called me the kool-aid man. After that I started wearing blacks, grays, browns, darker colors that never really brought attention to myself.. wow I just realized as I wrote that why I tend to still to this day wear those colors and shy away from anything bright!
 
In middle school my mom had me do weight watchers in the summer, I lost a good amount of weight, but I was still chunky, by the end of the school year I had gained it all back and then some. The thing is, I still wasn't bothered by my weight. Boys were interested in me and had been since the 4th grade, but that probably was because I was the only 4th grade girl that was already a full B cup..
 
In high school I always had a boyfriend, it seemed that was not an issue that my weight let get in the way. There were even times when I had a few boys interested in me at once, by the end of high school I was already in a size 18/20. But that didn't seem to bother me or stop me from doing anything. My weight was something I felt would never stop me from doing what I wanted. I was happy and that is all that mattered.
 
I started college and the same thing, still had boys interested in me. Met boys in classes and made me feel like there wasn't anything wrong with my weight. I always heard people say oh boys won't like you because of your weight, but to me it wasn't an issue. I seemed to be the serial fat girl dater. After a few years of the college life I decided to move away from my family and all I knew in Arizona. It was time to branch out and I felt as though I was going no where in this town...
 
So I packed up my car and moved to San Diego at the age of 21. A city that I loved, though didn't know a single soul in. A big move for this girl who actually was shy! You wouldn't have guessed that with all that you've read so far, I bet So I started a new job, had my own place and that's when I realized that being fat, was being fat and there was nothing good about it. Living in California and a beach city to top it off there were beautiful girls everywhere.
 
Going to the beach I felt like a beached whale and that everyone stared at me... but then again I started meeting men.. they were interested in me and I thought wow if they are interested in me and there are those barbie girls out there then I am doing ok. I did start to work out and eat a little healthier, tried to get into the California lifestyle.. But even working out and eating right didn't seem to matter my weight stayed the same and eventually I gained more and more.
 
I had a few serious relationships, one right after another and they all loved me for me and thought I was beautiful no matter what size I was. I was always told I had such a pretty face, so again never let my weight get to me. I've done walks and the more weight I gained the more the simple things became harder...
 
I would determine if I would go somewhere based on how far I had to walk, if there were stairs, how crowded it was. I wouldn't go to a restaurant unless I knew there were tables instead of booths for the fear of not being able to fit into a booth.. Now I mention that the men I date were not fat, they were in good shape some in great shape with six packs!
 
I really started to become self conscious of who I was, what I looked like and who I had let myself become. My older sister had the lapband, lost a lot of weight but then had issues with the band and is slowly gaining the weight back. I started doing boxing and kickboxing at a boxing gym and loved it. I struggled but made it through every single hour long class!
 
Weight loss surgery has been something that I've thought about, but always thought I know I can lose the weight without it.. it will be my last resort! Then I met this new guy,... and we fell in love and got married! Going on just over a year right now. He is amazing, but he is fit, very active and health minded. That didn't seem to bother him, he always told me I was beautiful and loved me no matter what..
 
Then we decided we wanted to have children.. the thing is I hadn't had a period in years... I mean probably since I was in high school and college... and now I was 27 years old. I know what needs to happen to have babies... I was scared to tell him that I didn't have one and that I knew right now I would not be able to get pregnant. I so went to my OBGYN and started talking to her. She put me on medication to force me to have periods every 3 months... it worked, but still I was not ovulating. So she sent me to an endocrinologist.. and there is where I realized for one of the very first times in my life being fat is taking something from my life that I wanted so badly.
 
So they found out I had PCOS, a condition you get being overweight that causes you to resist insulin, you don't ovulate you don't get your monthly cycle. I felt like I was the only woman in the world who wanted to have regular periods every month! So they put me on medication for it to help me lose weight and get my cycles back.. well I never happened. I was thinking about weight loss surgery again, after all it would get me in the best position to have children the fastest. But I was worried too.. what if it doesn't work? Then I have tried every option possible and I am still left fat and childless... then will my husband still love me?
 
Then the true nightmare began... as I mentioned my entire family was over weight. Well as the years went on my mother was extremely overweight. She was 55 and struggling so much she was in a scooter..... my mother became very ill very fast.. she went to work on A thursday and became so ill that Saturday my dad took her to the ER. By the time I got into town, I knew I was going to lose my mother. Sunday morning at about 5 am my mother passed away. Her weight was the factor, they thought she had arthritis, which is why her back hurt and she had a scooter. Turns out it was kidney failure, and my mother had an infection and became septic. There was nothing that they could do for her in the hospital.
 
My sister and I lost our mother, our father lost his wife, my grandmother lost her daughter and her siblings lost their sister.. because of weight. That scared me because I was heading down the same path.. was that could to be me in 30 years? This happened June of 2012..
 
Then I had a dream a few night later... We were all back at the hospital and my mom was laying on the bed, she suddenly woke up and said, " Now that I'm ok, we all need to work on getting healthy". That was my breaking point, my vow to do whatever I had to do to live a long healthy life.
 
So I went to my Dr and said I want to do surgery, I went to the seminars and decided that I wanted to do the vertical sleeve. It was the best option and I have a little over 200 pounds to loose.. I was ready and willing to sacrifice anything to get my life on track. Being that I had already been going to the weight loss center I only had 2 more months until I could qualify through insurance since they required 6 months of visits..
 
So two months later my surgery date was set for Sept 14th, 2012. And I was ready. Insurance approval went through easy and I was set! Surgery day came and I still didn't feel like it was going to happen. My surgery went amazing, no complications I was on the table an hour. My recovery was just as great, I was discharged the next day by noon. I was at one of the best hospitals possible so I knew the care I was getting was what I needed.
 
Now here I am almost 4 weeks later and 35 pounds lighter. THis was the best decision of my life and I don't regret it. The only thing I regret is not doing it sooner. Maybe even sooner so maybe my mom would get to see how life changing it was and maybe make the decision to do something about it herself.. then maybe just maybe I would still have a mom... As today marks 4 months from the day she was taken from us all too soon..
 
So next time I think that being fat doesn't mean anything, I will think again because to me fat is no longer an option or a lifestyle.. it is going to be the old me, the me who really didn't think about what it was doing to me or my family.. Fat made me who I am today and without being this way I probably wouldn't have met my husband, but it also took my mother from me...
 
So here is to the start of the new non-fat me... seeing where this journey takes me. I know that wherever it does I will not be needing to ask for a seatbelt extender any longer

I am so weird. One minute I'm so excited, and the next minute I'm chewing off my nails with nervous energy - which is the playing with the tail and crying scene from Oz, equivalent for me. When I started on the path of knowledge over this procedure (which was a while ago) I remember thinking, "I could never do that" and I graduated to "look at all these people having success with this", to "I could never do that", then on to, "can I get this done"?, and back to, "this will never work for me", and on and on and on... It's like I'm the coin in a coin toss, going from one thing to the next. I was fine making the decision to get this procedure, but not fine once I made the choice. Now I'm second guessing myself as a successful part of the equation in addition to an infinte number of unknown outcomes.
 
Why do I do that?!
 
And maybe that's why weight loss has never been really easy for me. It's as though I don't let myself get too excited because I know failure will arrive soon enough. And that is NOT who I am in my life. Why doesn't this part of me behave like the rest of me? I guess I'm trying to understand how getting this surgery will actually re-set my brain. And maybe it isn't the surgery that does that. Maybe afterward you still have to go up a road you don't recognize, and maybe everyone comes to that road at a different point in the process. I wish it came before this place I'm in now, though. I think that is the reason so many people have trouble with the brain hunger thing. I don't only NOT want to be one of those people, I CAN'T be one of them. I can't be 6 or 8 months post op and feeling like I'm starving to death and eating inappropriately and throwing up, or getting dehydrated or whatever. I can't sing and have all that trauma around my vocal folds. That would be a recipe for disaster for me. How do I cross that bridge beforehand so I can deal with it if/when it happens? And how much energy and effort should I spend trying to solve a problem I don't yet have?
 
I must sound like a crazy person asking how to cross a bridge before I get there. I don't like the unknown, so I'm always at the edge of a big decision asking, REALLY??? OMG! REALLY??? Or, I'll throw myself off without asking a single question, until it's over and done with and I end up saying, "what just happened"? So there's either no thinking or way too much thinking.
 
And now I just want to say that I am such a CHICKEN because of all of this ridiculous questioning! I can't possibly be this much of a coward, can I? What's *wrong* with me?!
 
With all I've overcome and acheived in my life, I can't imagine that something like this has turned me into such a total wuss. I gotta keep getting perspective and focusing on the positive and imagining a huge success. But if I don't find some courage, I'll never go through with it.
 
Thanks for reading. Sorry if I'm boring...

I had my psych appointment today...one more thing checked off. It was a good appointment and I was given some very good advice for long term success. Should be getting submitted to insurance very soon!!! I hope it gets approved. I also attended my first support group tonight. So many helpful people. I love to hear everyones stories.

The only excuse I have for having totally dropped of the VSG website is that life has gone absolutely NUTS (as in working 6 days a week at my full time job, and doing wedding cakes for my side business) and the fact that my computer hates this site. It locks up like crazy everytime I try and bounce on to check out whats going on. *rolls eyes* At some point I'll get around to fixing that....
 
So what's been going on with moi, you ask? Well, my sixth month surgiversary is nigh (2.5 weeks away!) and I am down 85 pounds and a hell of a lot of inches. I actually slipped into Onederland about 2 weeks ago. That was....hard. You would think I would have jumped up and down (if you heard a strange noise at 5am EST that was me, squealing like a little girl) but I actually had a mini freak out. My dad had this surgery and I know that he had a hard time mentally as the pounds slipped away. A sort of brain/body disconnect that stressed him out (he's better now). I didn't have any problem as I slipped down into the low 200s...but something about going below 200 freaked me out. I didn't realize how much my weight was wrapped up in my self-image (duh, right?) and that I used it as an excuse to not engage the world. When I no longer had that my subconscious was sucking on its thumb, rocking back and forth while clutching the metaphorical blankie at the 'stressful' idea that I was becoming 'normal'. And that maybe the cute guy at work was flirting with me the other day. *blush*. So after having a very stern talk with my subconscious, taking away the blankie, and putting tabasco on it's thumb we are both finally on the same page. Granted, I'm now dealing with sullen teenager subconscious, but whatever. (Yes, I'm joking. I realized after re-reading this that my metaphor made me sound like I had multiple personalities. Frankly, if I had multiple personalities one of them had better be a kick ass Valkyrie. Or a dragon. Or Xena. Sometihng much more interesting than a sukly subconscious with thumb-sucking issues. But that's another blog entry....)
 
So now I'm at 195.2 with 55 more to go. Did I mention that I (and other people) can actually SEE my collarbones?! It's been so long since I could see them underneath my skin that I find myself constantly touching them (as if they're gonna disapear or something). I felt so stupid as I realized this after I got out of the shower and was brushing my hair. I had looked into the mirror and though, "What are those weird bumps under my skin". Yeah, facepalm time. *laughs at self*. Still, very, very cool. Also, as a side note, does anybody else notice how uncomfortable it is to sit sometimes now? I swear my butt is so boney and I'm not used to sitting on it rather than all the extra padding that used to be there!
 
So what else is going on in the Life Of Lyra? I haven't been able to exercise much in the last few weeks because I got Tboned in a vicious gocart accident. Don't snicker! It was horrible! My friends and I were on an adult gocart track where the things go up to 20 mph when I got clipped which caused my gocart to flip horizontal to the track. Then this douchebag Tboned me and promptly started swearing at ME! The harness that we wore went over the shoulders and crossed at the waist and chest area. Basically the force of the hit caused the buckle of the harness at chest level to dig into my ribs and cracked them. I literally had a bruise the size of my open hand across my ribs. Along with black bruises going over my shoulders, across my stomach, and on my legs. Plus a 'rugburn' across my neck where the shoulder part dug in. Lots of pain. Then (as if I wasn't in enough trouble) I got bronchitis. Has anybody ever had to cough with cracked ribs? Yeah, it sucks. Major. But I am now on the mend and am looking forward to running soon.
 
So what have I learned over the last 5.5 months? That this was the best decision that I have ever made. That I actually enjoy eating mostly veggies and fuits and that a girl really can happily survive without pasta and pizza in her life. That physical exercise is fun. That the amount of food restaurants give out is nauseating. That life is amazing! That in a few weeks I turn 30 and that for the first time in 10 years I feel....worthy. That I am not damaged and all the things that used to make me grab a snickers bar and stuff myself are not worth it. That life is beautiful and crazy in all its mysteries and that I CANNOT wait to see what happens next. I think I'm going to join a dating site, or maybe even get up the nerve to ask the cute guy at work out. I'm joining a kickboxing group with a friend and some other friends and I are going to take climbing lessons. And I'm going to FINALLY buy a pair of zipup knee high boots, because my calves FIT IN THEM!
 
Oh, and this time last year when I was humiliated at the State Fair when I couldn't fit in any of the rides and had to get off in front of all those people and I went home a cried all night? This year those rides better watch out! I've bought 2 full packs of tickets and I plan on using Every. Last. One. Of. Them. *wicked smile*

I got my sleeve surgery date! It's November 6, 2012 at 10:00 am. I'm excited, nervous, and scared. Not sure how the Holidays will be this year after having my surgery! I just want it to be over, and start healing, and get to a new, healthier, smaller me!

I am so happy I made the decision to have the Sleeve surgery. I am living again!!!
I went to Kohls and bought me this cute dress. A size 2X!...! ME?!.... not 4x but a 2X?! I am so proud and happy!!
 
If you are still wondering if this surgery will get you results, wonder no more. DO IT!! get motivated, get ready to put in time and effort. Be ready to make real life changes for a better you. Really commit to follow the rules and guidelines that your medical team will put in place for you. Give it your all, and watch the magic happen babyyyy
 
I am so happy, I could cry!!!!!!

Hi Everyone,
 
It has been a very long time since I posted. The last time was 8 days post op. I have been following a sleevers page on facebook but I miss this forum so I'm back to stay.
 
It has been 4 1/2 months since my surgery. I have lost 70 pounds. It seems the weight loss is slowing down a LOT! It gets frustrating but I realize that I wouldn't have able to lose 70 pounds without this surgery. I'm so glad I did it even though I questioned myself right after.
 
I am almost off all of my hypertensive medication which is so awesome because I was on two different ones and have had HBP since I was in my early 20's. I was also a borderline diabetic before the surgery and now my numbers are great! I can't thank God enough for this opportunity and blessing to have this surgery. I did have to pay for it because my insurance sucks and won't pay for hardly anything but I know it was so worth it.
 
I'm a little concerned that my weight loss has slowed. I had hoped that the honeymoon phase would last at least 6 months but it seems for me it hasn't. It is really hard for me to lose 2 pounds a week now. I am eating well and getting in all of my protein first. I do have hypothyroidism due to ablation of my thyroid so that may have something to do with it. I do know that there is no way I would have been able to lose 70 pounds in 4 1/2 months without this surgery. I'm so thankful!!
 
In the last two weeks I was able to walk 2 5k's! Before, that would have never been possible. I was close to 300 pounds. My pre op weight was 297 and now I'm 222! Can't wait to be in onederland! I hope to be there by Christmas! What a wonderful gift that would be.
 
Ok... so everyone have a great day and I definitely am staying on this forum! God bless! Most recent pic with my daughter attached!

Alright, I have decided to go ahead with the sleeve. As a matter of fact I am scheduling it today with Dr. Kemmerling.
 
I didn't think you could pay me to go back into surgery after my band removal, but my future happiness is too important to me. I want to be happy, healthy, and want a baby! I need this surgery.
 
I will update with my surgery date later on today!
 
Today!

So next week I go for my 4th weigh in which means I have 2 more weigh ins to go! I'm so excited. Today I scheduled the day I can get my labs drawn (jan 4th) and etc and after that I should be getting my surgery! I'm so spooked its gonna be here before I know it