Desirae Grunwell

Hello loves :] So this past week i've been really randomly sick :c , and i feel perhaps I am not getting enough protein in and my mom suggested going back on shakes. for the two weeks post op and pre op I was useing the GNC brand powders and now even the smell of them as i try to drink that make me sick. So while doing some googleing i came upon "Nectar" band powders and have read some good things about them i was just checking with my VST family to see what you guys like best. have you tried them? recipies? fav flavor? just insite is all!

Awesome ! Im so happy for youuuu! Im only a month out and hope to be just as happy as you are a year from now<3

Looks like I need to join this..:] I Confess: Im 18,and a college freshmen. Im afaid of being made fun of for not drinking. Im only 5weeks out and wont risk it beucase i know ill indulge in due time..just not now. Ive been suffering from horrible depression mouring food. I feel so silly and dumb but I just miss eating. I've discovered I have missed drinks more than food..there is cans of yummy fruit punch in my fridge i want so bad!! Or a root beer. grr I crave food all the time, but lately i've wanted ice cream. soo bad ive been a bit obessessive about it. The stress of a huge liftstyle change, college,and my best friend leaving to go to a different college has been driveing me up crazy. I just pray i can handle it all. I've been hit with a bug of some sort, and to sooth my stomache i drank some defizzled diet 7-up and though it wasn't really the same it was nice..It felt like old me. I just want to be able to drink a real soda one day. I've always been the "ugly" duckling..and had WLS to feel good in my own skin,and to be around a loooong time but I've never felt more like an outcast. I hate going out and not being able to eat like everyone, or taking my own meal. I hate feeling this way. I miss being able to just be carefee about what i eat,now i think about everything. Its not a bad thing, i know its bettering me just takes some getting use too. Im balling writting this, because I feel you guys are family. You guys really understand the stuggle. Thank you<3

I had my sleeve just about two weeks ago and im going into the pureed stage and I've heard that a lot of people use the Light pregesso soups! and as for Vitamins, I date Calcium tablets, B12,and a muti vitamin everyday :]

I use to think the same. I start college in a few weeks too and im scared with college being new, and a new life style but you gotta remember why you got your sleeve. There is some things that tempt me but then i remember the weight i lost, and i went and treated myself to a "Goal" outfit that helps keep me motivated to fit into it. Today i was tempted to eat the left over olive garden in the fridge and i took a bite of a noodle to taste the flavor and put it back. Too much pain and hard work to throw it away. Im using self strength I never new i had. College is going to be an adjustment but i have faith in myself ..you can do it i promise. a few months down the road when your healed its ok to have a bite or two of pizza or a taste of something but don't go crazy. I've learned every persons sleeve is different It's trail and error about what your body can handle and cannot down the road. You got this girl :]

Hello everyone :] Im new here, and my names Desirae. Today was my second day on my pre surgery liquid diet. I feel as if im looseing a friend, as sad as it sounds. My stomache hurts, and has for the past few days. My body is like "Whoa?! what are you doing?" I think. I wanted surgery, and I know in the end It will be one of the best choices I've ever made,but this is so hard. Protine is awful! I find comfort knowing after surgery I have more to choose from and don't have to do awful shakes. (trying not to cry right know, phew..) I feel i should share my story real quick.. Im 17 (im 18now) ,and for a long as i can remember I have been big. Ive always been differnt and looked at like i was a zombie. Growing up though,i never felt different,it wasnt untill i turned about 10 when i relized peoples glares,and pointing and how differnt i looked in the mirror but how i felt no differnt at all. I went through a moment in my life where i hated myself. I didnt like who i was,i felt alone like "who would want to be with the fat chick...that's all ill ever be"somehow, i brought myself up from the hole i dug myself in,with lots of help,of course. Ive grown alot since then,and like most people have tried everyyyyy thing to get in shape. Pill,diet plans,south beach,curves...i went went as far and raiseing money for two years to go to weight loss camp in Wisconson for month. Dont get my wrong,these things work for many people...but not for me. So i decided being a Jr in highschool at the time i needed to change and start anew in college. For the past 10months,ive been going though a program though U of M (hospital not college >.<) Its called MPOWER.. Its for young adults and teens who are overweight and need to change there lifestyles. Ive been changeing my life from how i think,to what i eat to how to train my brain to work in my favor. Just recently i was approved by the team of experts at U of M that they feel Gastric Bypass surgery is best for me. I had to go through the mpower program (6months) for them to even concider approveing becuase im 17,and gastric is an adult surgery. Now im going though the process of getting everything i need to get done,done so i can have surgery (billing,support groups,blood test..ect) . My Surgery date...December 14. HOLY CRAP! ...im shakeing in my freaken boots! am i excited...heck yeah. am i scared as hell? yeah...i mean im not afraid of dieing,everyone always askes if im afraid of the surgery itself. Even though i was told when they knock me out heck im really gonna be out,i wont be able to even breath on my own,yet im still not scared of dieng;and trust me ive though about it,but thats another blog. I will die trying to accomplish what some people never do,what some of the most beautiful people dont have...Inner happiness! Amongst all the other reasons i want surgery....i wanna be comfortable in my own skin. I wanna feel beautiful...>.> anyway,im afraid of the life style change. Going to one extream to another..its my worst fear. i fear i will fail..im terrified of faileing and gaining my weight back and throwing away a year of work,gas,tears,pain suffering,money...i just pray everyday,i can do this..and for thoese of you who read this. Well, that never happend. Becuase i was only 17 insurence denyed me. IT felt like being pushed down onto the pavement..and i gave up inside. months later after a year into my program my mom got a call saying because i was 18 now, insurence gave there approval! My emotions hit me hard. I was suppost to have surgery in April,but that was cancled as well due to the fact the surgernt doing my surgery needs to be acompanied by another and there was not one to be with him. So this is how i got here..My surgery is the july 24. Im terrifed, about everthing. I feel almost outcasted becuase everyones so afraid to eat knowing i can't. My craveings for food are ridculous..and i cry myself to sleep knowing i have to force feed myself the awful shakes. I never expected surgery to be a walk in the park, but i just pray i have enough strength to do this..

awe thanks dear :] I was 16 when i started my journey too :] If you text i'd be willing to trade numbers and we can keep in touch. keep each other strong :]

Hello love :} How is everyone doing? Well, i hope! If not..tomrrows a new day. A little update for my online family im almost two weeks out and doing well. Im getting stronger everyday and go tuesday for my two week check up! later next week i move on to the Pureed diet and am excited for flavor! i miss flavor lol what where your fav things to eat on pureed? or in any stage really..Im trying to put together a recipie folder for when i can eat pureed and soilds again. In other news i hopped on the scale yesterday and was happy to see im down 12pounds! :] making me down 34 pounds in the past three weeks :] yay!

awe thank you :] and yes its Called Wellspring. I looked into it a long time ago, i was like 11. I had to raise 6thousdand dollars for me to go for a month. I was on my local radio twice and worked hard for the money for two years. It was an experince of a lifetime, but it wasnt realistic. THey had us moveing constatnly from 6am ...no real person does that, they have school, work, kids even. I lost 37pounds in a month, came home (Im from Saginaw,Michigan) mantained my weight for 4months and school just took over and i slowly slumped back into my old ways.

I just had surgery July 24 and im 18. I went thought a program called MPOWER that put me in a setting with other overweight teens hopeing for surgery and prepaired us for 6months. My surgery was approved by them, but insurence had other ideas so i had to wait. I was part of Mpower for over a year and felt nicely prepaired for surgery. Being almost 2weeks out I feel i've been giveing the tools to do well, and keep in mind every sleeve is different. It hasn't been easy, thats for sure. Being a teenager i think it's harder than most, becuase we are social and go out with friends and eat. I never fully relized how soical eating was untill you can't eat. The pre surgery liquid diet was the hardest for me and emotionally draining, but after three days my body started to adjust and i was like "im gonna be ok" and i was. THis really shows you how strong you are. Im currently doing well, im down 35 pounds in only three weeks, 23 from the liquid before hand. Im still getting use to my new stomache but im happy I did this! your strong you can too :} let me know if you ever need anything

Hello loves :] Im Desirae, im about 4days post op and im glad to say surgery went awesome! I only spent 2days in the hospital when they realized me for all the hard work i did walking around! Im at home, recovering nicely try to do my best to walk around and stuff. I have a little brother, hes 8 (im only 18) and he doesn't really understand that sissy can't eat like he does..and he trys to share his food with me,and feed it too me and I have to tell him no and it makes me really sad. I really miss the joy of being able to go out, or eat a home cooked meal with my friends and family. I feel so exiled,and im such a social person its starting to really get to me? I know i got a long way to go, but i really miss it. Any advice loves?

Evening loves :] So surgery went well,as for everyone else I am praying for you<3 I only spent 2days in the hospital because i was doing so well. Now im home resting, doing some mild walking as well. Thats the hardest part ..like, i never realized how much i take doing the simplest things like showing for granted. That stuff is hard to do on my own, but im healing well and am looking forward to the future. Thank you loves<3

My surgery is tuesday...My nerves have finally kicked in. Wish me luck everyone<3

Thank you so much for your kind words. They make the days go by easier for me. Im so scared for surgery..it's such a big change but i wanna be comfortable in my own skin and catchy up for lost time while im still young. It's great to know if i ever need anything..i have a wonderful online family <3

Hello loves Im Desirae, im 18 and Im currently going on my second week of the Pre-Op liquid diet. Though the first three days where some of the roughest i've ever faced im doing well now! My surgery date is July 24th of this year. Im oh so terrified and excited all wrapped in! Im going to be a college freshmen, and in the 18years have missed out on a lot because of my weight. When i drop my weight i want to rock a swimsuit without shorts, with confidence. I wasn't to ride a roller coaster and feel the rush everyone else feels. I wanna be able to share clothes with my friends and feel...Free :] Thats what im excited for! Im haveing my surgery In Ann Arbor at Mott childrens hospital.

Hello loves Im Desirae, im 18 and Im currently going on my second week of the Pre-Op liquid diet. Though the first three days where some of the roughest i've ever faced im doing well now! My surgery date is July 24th of this year. Im oh so terrified and excited all wrapped in! Im going to be a college freshmen, and in the 18years have missed out on a lot because of my weight. When i drop my weight i want to rock a swimsuit without shorts, with confidence. I wasn't to ride a roller coaster and feel the rush everyone else feels. I wanna be able to share clothes with my friends and feel...Free :] Thats what im excited for! Im haveing my surgery In Ann Arbor at Mott childrens hospital.

Thank you all so much. Im crying so hard reading your post,just thankful to have your support. It means alot to me to hear from people going though what i am,or will be. You guys are part my strength! Im seven days down today :] and am proud of myself! Im all together terrified and excited all together. Now the hunger plains have calmed themselves, and i found the inner strength within me. The hardest part for me know is i miss flavor..i've wanted nothing but subway for a week haha. But i know this is all worth it. I also miss the joy of eating. Im young and social and miss the joy of being able to hang out with with my friends and go out to dinner, or to eat with my family. I went to the beach the other day,and we went to a restaurant..it was so awkward for me to sit and watch them eat and smell the food and awkward for them to know i cant eat. i miss those enjoyments, but i keep in mind phase one of this journey is almost done..then starts another. I have family, friends,my docs back of U Of M,and my new online family here to help me. Im thankful for this chance, taking it one day at a time. <3