rickgrimestwd

Today I am doing much better. I am not sobbing. I was an emotional mess yesterday and crying. It was all fear related though. I wanted to isolate and be alone but that is the disease of food addiction so I reached out to friends and asked them to come visit me today. I use to attend Overeaters Annoymous, guess I never got the annoymous part. But it really taught me a lot like not to isolate. I guess that is what I want to pass along today is don't isolate yourselves. Isolating is selfish, I love being there for my friends and I will not rob them of being there for me, everybody wants to know they are needed and matter. So let your friends and family love you and don't put baby in the corner, because nobody puts baby in the corner!
So this is day five and I am sick to death of the liquid diet so my never compliant self decided to have an egg. I made one jumbo scrambled egg with a pinch of cheese and I added ketchup on top when it was done cooking. It was so nice to have food. I am really worried about getting my protein in so that is why I made myself the egg. It went down okay, funny thing is I couldn't finish it all, which made me laugh. I used to clear my plate at ihop when I had an steak omelet and now I can't even finish one egg. Now I am fighting the urge to buy a scale. Day 5 what do I think I am gonna weigh! I want to be patient and kind to myself. The weight will come off even though I have fears it won't but fear = false expectations appearing real. This journey is going to require a lot of courage and willingness to change, thank God you can fake both of those things when you don't have them at the moment, they work on credit so borrow big.
God Bless all of you and best of luck!

Well, I am home from the hospital, yay! (I got to leave day 2) The staff and hospital were really wonderful but like Dorothy said, "There's no place like home". I am so thankful for my family and friends being so supportive. It is so surreal now, if it wasn't for the pain I wouldn't be able to tell I had it done. I say that because I haven't had to eat anything, so I don't realize I am taking in less to eat. Towards the end of the liquid diet I was so sick of the same thing I would not eat because the thought made me depressed or nauseous. So I still am on the liquid diet and looking forward to getting off it. I abhor vomiting so I have been really cautious as far as my intake of 4oz per hour. As far as the pre-op liquid diet I did cave on day 10 and had 2oz of chicken and 6 chicken nuggets, I just couldn't take it anymore. I have no regrets because the chicken was fabulous but I did force myself to vomit some of it up because I was worried about the food being inside me so close to my surgery. I don't reccommend my behavior to any one but I wanted to be honest. I am experiencing some pain but nothing my pain meds don't take care of. What truly amazed me was right after surgery my high blood pressure was gone. I was convinenced that they were giving me iv meds for it but no they weren't. I have had high blood pressure since I was 19 or 20 years old and now it just up and left me. It's just miraculous. I think it is going to take some time to adjust to everything. I did lose 13 pounds from the liquid diet so that is a plus. The one fear that has its grip into me is that I won't lose the weight. What if I did all this and don't lose any weight? That thought alone just gives me the creeps! Well, good luck to all of you on your journey. God bless us all!

Well, I am home from the hospital, yay! (I got to leave day 2) The staff and hospital were really wonderful but like Dorothy said, "There's no place like home". I am so thankful for my family and friends being so supportive. It is so surreal now, if it wasn't for the pain I wouldn't be able to tell I had it done. I say that because I haven't had to eat anything, so I don't realize I am taking in less to eat. Towards the end of the liquid diet I was so sick of the same thing I would not eat because the thought made me depressed or nauseous. So I still am on the liquid diet and looking forward to getting off it. I abhor vomiting so I have been really cautious as far as my intake of 4oz per hour. As far as the pre-op liquid diet I did cave on day 10 and had 2oz of chicken and 6 chicken nuggets, I just couldn't take it anymore. I have no regrets because the chicken was fabulous but I did force myself to vomit some of it up because I was worried about the food being inside me so close to my surgery. I don't reccommend my behavior to any one but I wanted to be honest. I am experiencing some pain but nothing my pain meds don't take care of. What truly amazed me was right after surgery my high blood pressure was gone. I was convinenced that they were giving me iv meds for it but no they weren't. I have had high blood pressure since I was 19 or 20 years old and now it just up and left me. It's just miraculous. I think it is going to take some time to adjust to everything. I did lose 13 pounds from the liquid diet so that is a plus. The one fear that has its grip into me is that I won't lose the weight. What if I did all this and don't lose any weight? That thought alone just gives me the creeps! Well, good luck to all of you on your journey. God bless us all!

I am 8 days into the liquid diet and super surprised I have not cheated, I am so proud of myself. I am really thankful I have supportive friends and family that have encouraged me to keep going. The worst was day 6, I was extremely nauseated and had a horrible headache. However, on day six I left work early and went home and watched Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (extended version of course!). I had wanted to have crackers in my soup but it is not allowed. I started viewing those crackers as the ONE ring and I wasn't going to cave, but boy did I want to but. Those crackers stayed in the cabinet or going back into Mordor as I thought of it. I did better than Frodo in the end thank goodness. (refering to the end of the trilogy)
So on day 8, I am pulling a Finding Nemo and I am just going to keep on swimming, the only trouble I have now is actually wanting to do the protein shakes and soups, I just take a few sips and I am done, I just can't bare another. All I want is water with and without crystal light and kind of gross but it's what I want Klaussan's pickle juice. I did get one shake down and a yogurt in so that is good. I highly recommend dannon's oikos greek yogurt 12-15g of protein and very satisfying. The hardest part is the lack of variety especially when I don't like to have all the sweet tasting stuff, but only a couple more days at this point I am in it to win.
God Bless everyone on your journey!

Only five days left of my lovely liquid diet. I have to say it is not as bad as I thought it would be, I haven't killed anyone. I do miss chewing my food but it is worth it, I am worth it. I do experience headaches but it is nothing asprin can't handle. I have been very tired but I use crystal light energy and that keeps me up while I am working. I am looking forward to working out today, I have a gym membership at the wellness center at the hospital where I will have my surgery. I love water aerobics. I have always liked exercising it is just that at my weight I can only do about a minute so water aerobics is the only option where I can move for a couple hours consistently. I am so excited that I get 3 weeks off from work, I have to say I will definitely be finding a new job, that is half of the joy of having surgery is just to be away from work. I was born for retirement but my checkbook thinks other wise. So looking forward to all that is coming, good luck and blessings to all

I am 8 days into the liquid diet and super surprised I have not cheated, I am so proud of myself. I am really thankful I have supportive friends and family that have encouraged me to keep going. The worst was day 6, I was extremely nauseated and had a horrible headache. However, on day six I left work early and went home and watched Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (extended version of course!). I had wanted to have crackers in my soup but it is not allowed. I started viewing those crackers as the ONE ring and I wasn't going to cave, but boy did I want to but. Those crackers stayed in the cabinet or going back into Mordor as I thought of it. I did better than Frodo in the end thank goodness. (refering to the end of the trilogy)
So on day 8, I am pulling a Finding Nemo and I am just going to keep on swimming, the only trouble I have now is actually wanting to do the protein shakes and soups, I just take a few sips and I am done, I just can't bare another. All I want is water with and without crystal light and kind of gross but it's what I want Klaussan's pickle juice. I did get one shake down and a yogurt in so that is good. I highly recommend dannon's oikos greek yogurt 12-15g of protein and very satisfying. The hardest part is the lack of variety especially when I don't like to have all the sweet tasting stuff, but only a couple more days at this point I am in it to win.
God Bless everyone on your journey!

I am 8 days into the liquid diet and super surprised I have not cheated, I am so proud of myself. I am really thankful I have supportive friends and family that have encouraged me to keep going. The worst was day 6, I was extremely nauseated and had a horrible headache. However, on day six I left work early and went home and watched Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (extended version of course!). I had wanted to have crackers in my soup but it is not allowed. I started viewing those crackers as the ONE ring and I wasn't going to cave, but boy did I want to but. Those crackers stayed in the cabinet or going back into Mordor as I thought of it. I did better than Frodo in the end thank goodness. (refering to the end of the trilogy)
So on day 8, I am pulling a Finding Nemo and I am just going to keep on swimming, the only trouble I have now is actually wanting to do the protein shakes and soups, I just take a few sips and I am done, I just can't bare another. All I want is water with and without crystal light and kind of gross but it's what I want Klaussan's pickle juice. I did get one shake down and a yogurt in so that is good. I highly recommend dannon's oikos greek yogurt 12-15g of protein and very satisfying. The hardest part is the lack of variety especially when I don't like to have all the sweet tasting stuff, but only a couple more days at this point I am in it to win.
God Bless everyone on your journey!

Only five days left of my lovely liquid diet. I have to say it is not as bad as I thought it would be, I haven't killed anyone. I do miss chewing my food but it is worth it, I am worth it. I do experience headaches but it is nothing asprin can't handle. I have been very tired but I use crystal light energy and that keeps me up while I am working. I am looking forward to working out today, I have a gym membership at the wellness center at the hospital where I will have my surgery. I love water aerobics. I have always liked exercising it is just that at my weight I can only do about a minute so water aerobics is the only option where I can move for a couple hours consistently. I am so excited that I get 3 weeks off from work, I have to say I will definitely be finding a new job, that is half of the joy of having surgery is just to be away from work. I was born for retirement but my checkbook thinks other wise. So looking forward to all that is coming, good luck and blessings to all

Hunger. I have NONE. My entire life I've been hungry. I just could never say no to seconds or thirds and lord help me if it was one of my favorite foods or desserts. I always failed at diets because I would work out then come home starving and always over it (even it was super healthy food). Today, I'm 7 days post op, and I HAVE NO hunger. I'm dealing with a bit of stomach acid, but the moment I take my antacid medication the grumbling disappears. Hate to say this is a miracle, but for me- this is absolutely life changing to wake up and not be starving. Hallelujah.

Hello, my name is Linsey and I have been overweight since I could form a memory. I am now 33 and fortunate to have the opportunity to have the vertical sleeve covered through insurance. I have tried and failed many diets and my last attempt at a 12 step program was helpful but not as much as I needed. I am really looking forward to the little rewards that are going to come, like having a lap for my nieces and nephews to sit upon, walking a mile and not needing an ambulance afterwards or halfway through, riding a bike, roller skating, shopping in a regular clothing store which would be a first, riding a roller coaster, dating, and my gut not rubbing against my steering wheel as I drive. I just want to fully enjoy my life and not the food, I have enjoyed enough food now and am ready for this tool to give me the help I need. I love reading all the blogs, it is amazing to know I am not alone in this journey. I'll write more later.

Well, it is day 3 of my liquid diet. The first two days were amazingly easy. I wasn't really too hungry but today is a different story. I have a headache, tired and would like a cheeseburger but would settle for a healthy salad just to chew something. I did find a protien shake mix I like. I went to Complete Nutrition, the guy there was so nice and let me sample all the different kinds. I settled on smart smoothie chocolate fudge edition, it mixes extremely well with my almond milk and is even creamy like a milkshake. I had my physical today. I also had my first appointment with a psychologist (not for the psych eval). I have issues of resentment toward my dad and anxiety issues not to mention food issues I want to work out. I have gone through Overeaters Annoyomous and know from experience when the food goes away all the repressed issues come up. I want help to deal with all the chaos brewing underneath the flab and food abuse. I am very intrested to see where this journey is going to take me; looking forward to the highs and overcoming the lows. I am excited and tired more than I am hungry right now. Only 7 days to go, I know I can make it but I will most likely whine about it sometime of the time.

It's getting closer to my date and I am more excited than nervous thankfully. Luckily or maybe not so, I have had major surgery before where I have been cut open front and back ( spinal surgery for inquiring minds) and I had no complications, healed up very quickly. so I know I tolerate anesthesa well just not the morphine pump, hopefully, I won't be in too much pain. I am more nervous about the liquid diet and nawing off my left arm while I am asleep due to the food depravation . I am left handed so that would be a big problem. I am more nervous about afterward, like what if I don't lose weight? My mother says (she's a nurse) that it is impossible but that irrational fear is still there. I am looking at this surgery as the last option so if it doesn't work, what then? But for the most part I am confident it will work if I work it. I am really looking forward to eating less, I have done enough eating for a few lifetimes. I rather live my life fully now.
God Bless you all,
Love Linsey!

It's getting closer to my date and I am more excited than nervous thankfully. Luckily or maybe not so, I have had major surgery before where I have been cut open front and back ( spinal surgery for inquiring minds) and I had no complications, healed up very quickly. so I know I tolerate anesthesa well just not the morphine pump, hopefully, I won't be in too much pain. I am more nervous about the liquid diet and nawing off my left arm while I am asleep due to the food depravation . I am left handed so that would be a big problem. I am more nervous about afterward, like what if I don't lose weight? My mother says (she's a nurse) that it is impossible but that irrational fear is still there. I am looking at this surgery as the last option so if it doesn't work, what then? But for the most part I am confident it will work if I work it. I am really looking forward to eating less, I have done enough eating for a few lifetimes. I rather live my life fully now.
God Bless you all,
Love Linsey!

Hello, my name is Linsey and I have been overweight since I could form a memory. I am now 33 and fortunate to have the opportunity to have the vertical sleeve covered through insurance. I have tried and failed many diets and my last attempt at a 12 step program was helpful but not as much as I needed. I am really looking forward to the little rewards that are going to come, like having a lap for my nieces and nephews to sit upon, walking a mile and not needing an ambulance afterwards or halfway through, riding a bike, roller skating, shopping in a regular clothing store which would be a first, riding a roller coaster, dating, and my gut not rubbing against my steering wheel as I drive. I just want to fully enjoy my life and not the food, I have enjoyed enough food now and am ready for this tool to give me the help I need. I love reading all the blogs, it is amazing to know I am not alone in this journey. I'll write more later.