bellalizza

The only excuse I have for having totally dropped of the VSG website is that life has gone absolutely NUTS (as in working 6 days a week at my full time job, and doing wedding cakes for my side business) and the fact that my computer hates this site. It locks up like crazy everytime I try and bounce on to check out whats going on. *rolls eyes* At some point I'll get around to fixing that....
 
So what's been going on with moi, you ask? Well, my sixth month surgiversary is nigh (2.5 weeks away!) and I am down 85 pounds and a hell of a lot of inches. I actually slipped into Onederland about 2 weeks ago. That was....hard. You would think I would have jumped up and down (if you heard a strange noise at 5am EST that was me, squealing like a little girl) but I actually had a mini freak out. My dad had this surgery and I know that he had a hard time mentally as the pounds slipped away. A sort of brain/body disconnect that stressed him out (he's better now). I didn't have any problem as I slipped down into the low 200s...but something about going below 200 freaked me out. I didn't realize how much my weight was wrapped up in my self-image (duh, right?) and that I used it as an excuse to not engage the world. When I no longer had that my subconscious was sucking on its thumb, rocking back and forth while clutching the metaphorical blankie at the 'stressful' idea that I was becoming 'normal'. And that maybe the cute guy at work was flirting with me the other day. *blush*. So after having a very stern talk with my subconscious, taking away the blankie, and putting tabasco on it's thumb we are both finally on the same page. Granted, I'm now dealing with sullen teenager subconscious, but whatever. (Yes, I'm joking. I realized after re-reading this that my metaphor made me sound like I had multiple personalities. Frankly, if I had multiple personalities one of them had better be a kick ass Valkyrie. Or a dragon. Or Xena. Sometihng much more interesting than a sukly subconscious with thumb-sucking issues. But that's another blog entry....)
 
So now I'm at 195.2 with 55 more to go. Did I mention that I (and other people) can actually SEE my collarbones?! It's been so long since I could see them underneath my skin that I find myself constantly touching them (as if they're gonna disapear or something). I felt so stupid as I realized this after I got out of the shower and was brushing my hair. I had looked into the mirror and though, "What are those weird bumps under my skin". Yeah, facepalm time. *laughs at self*. Still, very, very cool. Also, as a side note, does anybody else notice how uncomfortable it is to sit sometimes now? I swear my butt is so boney and I'm not used to sitting on it rather than all the extra padding that used to be there!
 
So what else is going on in the Life Of Lyra? I haven't been able to exercise much in the last few weeks because I got Tboned in a vicious gocart accident. Don't snicker! It was horrible! My friends and I were on an adult gocart track where the things go up to 20 mph when I got clipped which caused my gocart to flip horizontal to the track. Then this douchebag Tboned me and promptly started swearing at ME! The harness that we wore went over the shoulders and crossed at the waist and chest area. Basically the force of the hit caused the buckle of the harness at chest level to dig into my ribs and cracked them. I literally had a bruise the size of my open hand across my ribs. Along with black bruises going over my shoulders, across my stomach, and on my legs. Plus a 'rugburn' across my neck where the shoulder part dug in. Lots of pain. Then (as if I wasn't in enough trouble) I got bronchitis. Has anybody ever had to cough with cracked ribs? Yeah, it sucks. Major. But I am now on the mend and am looking forward to running soon.
 
So what have I learned over the last 5.5 months? That this was the best decision that I have ever made. That I actually enjoy eating mostly veggies and fuits and that a girl really can happily survive without pasta and pizza in her life. That physical exercise is fun. That the amount of food restaurants give out is nauseating. That life is amazing! That in a few weeks I turn 30 and that for the first time in 10 years I feel....worthy. That I am not damaged and all the things that used to make me grab a snickers bar and stuff myself are not worth it. That life is beautiful and crazy in all its mysteries and that I CANNOT wait to see what happens next. I think I'm going to join a dating site, or maybe even get up the nerve to ask the cute guy at work out. I'm joining a kickboxing group with a friend and some other friends and I are going to take climbing lessons. And I'm going to FINALLY buy a pair of zipup knee high boots, because my calves FIT IN THEM!
 
Oh, and this time last year when I was humiliated at the State Fair when I couldn't fit in any of the rides and had to get off in front of all those people and I went home a cried all night? This year those rides better watch out! I've bought 2 full packs of tickets and I plan on using Every. Last. One. Of. Them. *wicked smile*

I think one of the hardest things we deal with is the advice of others who may mean well but often don't understand why we need surgery.
 
Click below to go to the blog
 
The Advice Of Others

211 pounds

I may not be like others when it comes to this but there is a reason why and it was confirmed for me recently why I don't really talk about it much.
 
I was talking with a family member who knows that I had the VSG surgery last year and they have put on a few pounds recently (well over time). We were speaking of the US standard of BMI and I had stated that with all i've lost i'm still considered "overweight", and they said oh yeah well what do they say about my weight and I said well I don't really know your size but it you are 200 lbs or more and based on your height you are probably considered "obese". I even said a year ago I was considered "morbidly obese" according to the standards but i'm glad i'm not there anymore.
 
Well once I said that they stated well if it had not been for the surgery you would probably still be but you "CHEATED"!!
 
I was like cheated - really?? At that point I confirmed that no matter how many people say congratulations or i'm proud of you or you did it! In the back of some of their minds they feel "I Cheated"!  That's why I don't tell people I just say I had my gall badder removed (which is true) and I can no longer eat the way I use too and I exercise and eat right (which is all true).
 
I did not know there was a right or a wrong way; a honest way or a chearters way of losing weight?? Do you?! Just because I didn't join Weight Watchers again for the 4th time or try the lastest fad diet like most of my friends and drop some weight and then blow back up again shortly after does that make me a cheater?  It doesn't matter if I slaved away in a gym 5 days a week or that I still need to eat right and be mindful of what I eat they still see me as a cheater! I hate that stigma but, at the end of the day I made a decision that was best for me and my life, i'm not coping out to being a cheater - I still have to put in the work both physically and mentally despite what people may think about bariactric surgery and it's supposed "quick fix".
 
I've seen people gain it all back so I know that it is not a quick fix and you still have to work at it - it's a tool. Used wisely or unwisely you will it the fruits of it.
 
I just needed to vent I guess and it hurt me to hear that from a loved one but like I said that's why it has been a personal choice of mine not to be forth coming with this journey of mine because of that very comment. Hopefully one day I will feel open enough to let more people in on my journey but until then that's why I have my VST family where i'm not judged!

The Most Evil of all Man’s Inventions -


 

When we were getting larger, the scale was an evil evil device. It was originally designed by man to assist in the development of early commerce, but over time it took on a new and insidious venture. It became the device that quantified what we already knew - we were getting bigger. It was not a secret. We knew it. We knew we were not eating right and could tell we were getting bigger. But as long as those elastic waists and comfort fit pants hung in there, we could kid ourselves into believing that it was not that much weight gained. It was all so vague and easy to ignore.



But the evil scale ruined all that. That "couple of pounds" we had gained since last summer was actually 14.7 pounds!!! And what total chucklehead decided we needed a decimal point on a bathroom scale? What an idiot. I am not a pharmacist carefully measuring out a deadly drug. I am just a fat guy on a bathroom scale. The size of the number is bad enough, the decimal is just sort of an insult. "I weigh 277." Scale: "No, actually you weigh 277.6!" GRRRRRRRR, Stupid scale! I will tell you where you can put that .6 pounds….



BUT NOW….



I have come to reconsider my position -- and being down 50+ pounds has everything to do with it. That decimal point is an amazing and important invention. When I lose .6 pounds, you can bet I want to know all about it!! Don’t be depriving me of my 9.600 ounces of hard earned weight loss! I did not just go to the bathroom, dry my hair, clean out my ears, burp, get naked and take off my glasses to get some vague estimate!!!



I have concluded that the scale is, in fact, not inherently evil. I have come to this based on recent events. Since I have had my surgery I have noticed something amazing that I had never noticed before. It may have been there all along, but I just did not know it. Maybe you knew….but until just recently, I did not know that ….. (wait for it) …..


 
 

The scale can actually go DOWN!!!!



　



Here are three great scale jokes!!!



　



A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.
Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that's going to help."
"Sure it will." he said. "Now I can see the numbers."


 

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Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store.



"What’s it for?" one asked.



"I don’t know," the other replied. "I think you stand on it, and it makes you mad…at least it does that for my Dad."



　



　



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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry with him. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 250 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. It was not big enough to be the sports car she demanded, so she put on her robe, ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
 
 
ARE WE LAUGHING YET!!!!!!!

Today marks my 6 month anniversary.. I am 11 lbs from goal, but not trying to lose anymore weight. I officially posted my before, during and after pics in the success section of VST if you are interested in looking at them.. but i will post 2 pics here.. my before and after. I again would like to say thank you to everyon that followed my blog and my journey.. I hope I was able to inspire some of you and be a helping hand to anyone that needed it... And i appreicate all of your support. so without further ado....
 
me at my heaviest..
me yesterday 06-11-12