DeterminedGirl

My first meeting with my surgeon is next week--so I'm still not technically "pre-op." But I know think of myself as a "pre-pre." The "explorer" days are over! I want this surgery. That said, there are a few things that continue to spook me about the VSG. 1) I'm really trying to understand the sleeve-as-tool concept. We all go into this surgery all over the map--emotionally, physically, age-wise, whatever--and I'm assuming we all come out of this surgery all over the map in terms of motivation, commitment, and patience. Given that, what do you think makes this surgery so uniformly successful? Is the "sleeve tool" that powerful? Like, before surgery did you feel like you were clearing brush with a teaspoon and now you have a backhoe? 2) When I've been on "traditional" diets in the past, I know the moment I fall off the wagon: it's the moment when I no longer see a relationship between effort and reward. Do you feel you are better able to handle the "stalls" when they come? Do you see a faster relationship between eating right/exercising and weight loss? Do you feel more confident in that relationship? More patient? What? 3) What about that moment when you've reached goal? The applause dies down. Life goes on. I get that you can't go back to doughnuts when things get tough, but do you feel that having some form of lifetime accountability or support is necessary? Sometimes I get scared that I'll always be a fatty--after surgery, I'll just be masquerading as a thin one. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'd love to breathe the free air--without the food monkey on my back. When you reach goal, what keeps you living right? 4) Here's a really wacky question. WHY does the sleeve increase your desire to eat right and exercise? (I was going to add "and go shopping" but whoa, I'm a girl. I totally get that one!!!) Is it just the relationship between effort and reward? In other words, temporary? Or do you feel that you're really clearing the brush permanently and working on a garden that will grow for the rest of your life--without having to be weeding it every second of every day? Thanks for your help and patience. I learn so much from all of you. It's what is keeping me one more DeterminedGirl.

Hi Everyone, I am still exploring the sleeve as a bariatric option for me. Please forgive me for asking a couple of crazy questions here. First, when I read this site, it i s just unbelievable to me that post-op people are talking about wanting to eat less, wanting to exercise, and enjoying weighing (a lot) less without struggling to stay on the weight-loss program marathon. How does this happen? I mean, I get that your stomach is smaller--but the rest of this sounds like a total paradigm shift that comes with the surgery. Do many of you feel that the surgery changed (or will change) your mental outlook? Do you think that the surgery somehow changed (or will change) your emotional connection to food? Second, and this is the really crazy question, I am reading about how much is required here--protein shakes, liquid diets, exercise, like, every day, counting protein and carbs, plus all the pain and suffering of surgery. So why do the surgery at all? Were any of you tempted to think that, if you just did everything else on the list, and cut out the surgery, you would eventually get the same results? Also, while I am on a roll here, I read "everyone loses at their own pace." Mostly, I have been gaining at my own pace for years. I really do not want to do this surgery if I think it will only get me in sight of the finish line. Like, I want to be a lean, strong girl. One time in my life, I would like the chance to be the girl I dream I could be. I am totally willing to work toward that. I am sorry if I have asked the wrong questions here. I am just partly scared and a lot hopeful and scared to be hopeful. Thanks everyone! DeterminedGirl

Okay. I'm reading through this site as much as I can every day. (I'm way pre-op--first appt in mid-Aug.) A couple of things have started bugging me, so I thought I'd ask the experts (namely, all of you!). 1. I see the there is a WIDE variance in what surgeons and insurance companies ask you to do pre-op. Which tests, what diet, how long, etc. So here's my question: is it possible to lose so much weight running through the pre-op hoops that the insurance company, which initially looked hopeful, now says, "Whoa, we think you can lose and maintain the your weight yourself?" I mean, is this pre-op diet ever a real hurdle to surgery down the pike? 2. What if you don't have the "standard" morbidities? Like, suppose someone had a life-threatening anaphylactic allergy to dust mites that is compounded by heavy weight? Or, suppose someone has had brain surgery for an aneurysm and was told that high blood pressure doesn't help in the possible recurrence of another aneurysm? I'm just sayin'..... What if it's other stuff? Does this, so to speak, weigh in with the insurance companies? 3. One of the things that really strikes me in this is that a) we're all pretty much powerless over food; we (at least I) hate being powerless; c) we decide on surgery (which is, like, a totally pro-active, life-affirming thing to do), and then, boom! d) the insurance company makes us, well, powerless again. Is anybody else really, really ticked off about this? I should add that I haven't actually experienced any of the above--okay, I've experienced #2. But I'm asking because I am trying to get a healthy mindset for my appointment in August. I really want this whole process to be one of dialogue and decision--not too much edict. Are people--surgeons and insurance--generally willing to work with you? I'd really appreciate your thoughts and insight on these. Thanks in advance. DeterminedGirl

I'm going with the earlier Wikipedia comment. That said, I think there is a huge connection between feelings and fat. And I think that connection, especially with this surgery, requires us all to be grown-ups and face it head-on (as opposed,say, to my usual strategy of brownies as a preferred coping mechanism for stress). There are a lot of incredibly bright, successful, and courageous people on this site. Ever wonder why people who can sanely and rationally take on adult life can succeed in every but this one? Me too. I'm a sharp girl, so why have I engaged in a decades long attempt at this thing I cannot conquer? Other than this (okay, and algebra with Miss Henchel in the ninth grade) I have not failed at anything else in my whole life. Mistakes? Sure, but failure? Not so much. Think I'm going to be depressed after surgery? Hmmmm. I'm gonna risk it. DeterminedGirl

It hit me the day I realized I had dieted and dieted and dieted my way into morbid obesity. There's a slippery slope--the toeholds are fewer and fewer. You get bigger and bigger; you don't know why; you don't know how to stop. The sleeve seems like the best option for me because I am a DETERMINED GIRL who has to see a relationship between effort and reward. I see the weight coming off--oh, yeah, I'll keep working for that!!!!

Hmmmm. Re-gain? Right. I'm way pre-op (more an explorer--my first bariatric appt is mid-August), but I'm staring at 100+ pounds to lose. Like, I re-gained FIVE pounds? I re-gained TEN pounds? Okay. I could totally live with that. At my weight, five pounds isn't a) noticeable; or significant. What a blessing this surgery is! As I read these boards I'm beginning to see that REAL life--at whatever weight--begins when you change your relationship with food. Like, boom. That's it. The sleeve, as many have said, is a tool. Not a magic bullet (I wish it were, but hey.) Plenty of people say that their view of food changes effortlessly, their taste for food changes immediately, whatever. Going in, I'm planning to have to face my dragons. I'm just hoping the surgery will make them smaller, scared, squash-able. I am hanging in here, still one more Determined Girl

Everything. Absolutely everything. Here is one I will add: I would like to use a "normal" stall in a public bathroom. Enough with the "handicapped," for heaven's sake!!! Thank you for a great list. It made me more of a DeterminedGirl.

Thanks, Izuri!! This makes sense. I gotta be honest: the idea of somehow learning a new relationship with food after surgery is pretty daunting. I'm used to a pretty co-dependent, impulsive, no-hold-barred relationship. Like something healthy and independent? Sounds like magic. I think part of the reason I worry about this SO much is that, like a lot of people, I've lost zillions of pounds--and re-gained every one of them. I'm really GREAT at losing, but really, really lousy at maintaining. I posted today wondering whether the size of the sleeve matters. Seems it doesn't. Hmmm. Destiny happens by choice; not by chance. Thanks again!!!!

I just want to chime in here. Whoa. 22 years is a LONG time for his family not to accept you. Where are YOU going to be with this guy in another TWO years? By then you will have your own body, and he will have to respect that you have not only a new body, but a new life. How much he wants to join in that new life will be a negotiated reality between the two of you. Whether you let him back into your heart is up to you. You may have him in your life, but in your heart? That is a whole different thing. Whatever you decide, remember there is a BIG difference between love and trust. You may love him and go on with your life with him with forgiveness, but he will have to EARN your trust. For what it's worth, I don't believe that he FORGOT. That sounds like the very FIRST topic I'd bring up with the marriage counselor. As far as the mess with his family goes, remember that old adage: living well is the best revenge. Use them for motivation to rock that sleeve!!! Pulling for you.....

Hello everyone, What is the size of your new sleeve when they roll you out of surgery? I'm reading a bunch of research that seems to indicate that size does not matter, but I figure that research is written by a bunch of naturally thin people who do not have a clue. I would like to hear from real people who have, or soon will have a sleeve. Did you get the 32? Is that too small? Is the 40 too big? Here are my concerns: 1) it makes sense to me that the smaller the sleeve the faster the weight loss and 2) the less I will EVER have to worry about gaining one ounce back again. I get it that the EWL numbers are pretty much even. I would dearly love to know how long EVENTUAL means--and how tough it is to MAINTAIN the loss for say, four decades. As of today, I am not scared about the surgery, not about right after. But long after...now that one worries me. I want to give myself every chance to succeed. It just seems to me that the smaller the sleeve the happier this girl will be. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I am still one very DeterminedGirl

Katiepot, I'm in Roswell. If you would not mind sharing, who did your sleeve at Emory? Hansi, I'm going to call you soon. Meanwhile, back to katiepot, hansi recommended Paul macik. Do you know him? I know I am rambling here, but I am just so excited to find this forum and all of you!!! I am one more DeterminedGirl

Wow. Thanks to all of you!! I am going to print out your replies and put them in a binder to re-read when I am (hopefully) post-op. What all of you said not only gave me a new way to think about the sleeve, but you also helped me focus on some new things. I see now that this is a process, a partnership, and a commitment. (I was still kind of hoping for a magic bullet.) And you helped me focus on what I need to do to learn to live the life. That is big. Really big. Just as important, you let me see that regardless where I am in this process, there are wonderful people who will hear and help. So thank you for your insights, your wisdom and your experience. Thank you for taking the time to share with me from your heart. I promise to pay it forward. More than ever, I am one DeterminedGirl.

Thanks, all of you, for your responses. I really am so touched by your compassion. Many of you describe that "switch" that clicks in your head with this surgery--and then it's different with food. Thanks, too, for helping me grasp the idea that somehow your body--since you cannot stuff it anymore--reprograms, reboots, restarts. I want that!!!! I cannot imagine a single day without waking up thinking about what thing I am getting at Starbucks--and it is not, like, the oatmeal and a bottle of water!!! (And that's just Breakfast....) I have my first appointment with a possible surgeon (Dr. Paul Macik here in Atlanta) on August 14. That was his first available date. Until then, I promise to read everything I can, ask more questions, and learn everything I can from all of you on this site! Thanks again, DeterminedGirl

Dear HANSI, thanks so much for writing me. I'm calling Paul Macik tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes. Wow, you've got an amazing story--I'd sure like an "after" story like yours!!! Thanks again, DteeminedGirl

Hi, Everyone, I'm marking today's date down in my calendar--July 9, 2012. This is the DAY I AM DONE. So, I'm brand new to all of this, and I've got a couple of questions: 1) I live inRoswell, GA and I'm thinking I'll go to Emory. Has anyone been there for sleeving? Can anyone give me some advice? 2) Do you all get your energy back? I'm reading this stuff about trying to sip 600 calories a day-- and I gotta wonder. 3) How long was the wait between your decision to do this and your surgery? Thanks, everybody! Can't tell you how much hope you give me, DeterminedGirl.