dcobb

what is bougie?

Greetings everyone: I am curious to know if post op .. did anyone have a mental breakdown? I surely did. I was sleeved on 7-9-12..in the hopsital for 4 days. while in hospital, stilled continued to receive my depression meds (get panic attacks and have generalized anxiety disorder) . Came home on Friday 7-13 and on 7-15 (my 29th wedding anniversary) I found myself in the psych ward. Couldve knocked me over with a feather. Never in my wildest dreams, did I ever think somethink like this could happen to me. Apparently, I had a psychotic break and tried to kill myself (said I ate 50 Ativan). I remember none of this. Was in the ward for 8 days. Been home two full days...back on full meds, back on my full hormones and still am a bit scared of going through this again. I teach and start back to work on the 13th...Am hoping to have full confidence going into the classroom. everyday I am feeling better. tomorrow I am starting indepth therapy to find out how all this came about and to deal with all that has happened and to deal with the future. I am trying to "forget/put to rest" my mental breakdown behind me. As I look back a few months before sugery there were many "alerts" that something was going wrong with my thinking concerning the VGS. was banded two years ago, no success, my surgeron offered the revision to the sleeve -- was approved and ready to go on June 15th, being scared and unsure is only normal. But one week before surgery, my sis (a pharmacist) tried to talk me out of the VSG -- telling me all kinds of horror stories that could happen, not to do it, she completely scared the **** out of me. So I went back and forth about having VGS -- spoke to my primary care, my shrink, my therapist and the bariatric team...they all said to go for it. So I rescheduled and had the surgery and a mental breakdown. So my question is ... has anything like this happened to anyone else? I cannot imagine I am the only one. those of us desiring these weight loss tools are told all of the fanatistic results (I am now 17 days post and have lost 14 pounds -- ok with slow loss) all well and good, but the AMA does not pursue the MIND< BODY<SPIRIT connection. I have a long journey ahead of me, which is fine. Cuz as the weight comes off I want to reconcile my mind with a new physical change. It will be like peeling make the pieces of an onion. But my very short term goal, I must at least acheive a day to day level headed functioning of daily life so I can begin work on 8-13-12. If you have anything to share or wisdom to offer, pls do so. For me it is one step at a time. Success and godspeed to all.

thank you all so very much for the support, prayers and kind words. And for each and every one of you...I hereby make a contract, I will seek immediate help, if I ever have suicidal thoughts again. I promise you all. Please note, killing myself was never in the cards -- it never crossed my mind. This surgery was to be a new journey and a new future for me and my hubby. But I am in therapy for the long haul and I have new wonderful friends on this website. I will post a quick note most days just to keep you all posted. Once more thank you all again. God bless us all on our journies.

thank you so much