HarleyNana

Grandmas & Grandkids An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!" The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles." ************************************** A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!" ************************************** My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he said. ********************************* When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four." *********************************** A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife." *********************************** Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his friend about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!!" *************************************** A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said. "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to "i" and add "es." (Why wouldn't an English teacher love that one? **************************************** " Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child." ******************************************** A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green Army men in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!" *********************************** A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck" A third child brought the argument to a close..."They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

Marie, I sure hope so, cause right now he's taking 2 crawls forward and 1 back.

Leatha that was a very caring reply and well put.

Greg, you've got too much time on your hands, LOL, but keep em coming!

Michelle, I got my card today, my doctor said he wanted me to have on, keep one at his office in my records and one at the hospital. Though he doesn't have the number on there yet, he has requested the information and will make sure it is all documented by my next fill. Wow what timing. It's called the "Lap-band system post-op patient packet" I even got a registration card with a free gift, either a pedometer with clock and stop watch, or a portable radio with clock and stop watch, once I complete the card and mail it back to Inamed Health.

Welcome aboard the band wagon. Good luck on your band journey.

I suppose this should be in the fills section, but I got my 1st and second fill today, second, if you count the one that missed the port. The doctor apologized for the miss-hap, excuse the pun, and said he hit the port dead on today. You guys would really be proud of me, I took my 1/2 valium and put my cream on, covered it in plastic and was ready for my fill. He told me to poke my tummy out and he hit first try. He also apologized for using such a huge/long needle last time and kept going on about the needles, finally, I said, whoa, you're giving me way too much info! I still don't feel restrictions and had some watery cabbage tonight, went right down, no bubbles and no stuffed feeling. Boy do I hope this thing takes, I gained an ounce, but I had eaten some veggies before I went, I know I should have had Protein, what was I thinking? I apologize for the blah blah blah.

You're too funny Greg!

I have a 27 year old who earned that motto very well and very young, of course he does take after his dad!

Glad to hear you're feeling better! That's the problem with that darn flu, it just has to run its course. Have you noticed the puter sure does seem to have a magical healing power?

My motto with kids is... ya love them with all your heart, but that doesn't mean you have to always like them.

I don't think you should be experiencing that amount of pain and for that long. I'd have already called my doctor, I'm a whimp.

I agree with Jack, I didn't eat them before banding and sure won't eat one now. Since I was a little girl, I've always ordered a hotdog without the hotdog! I love the bun, the chili, onions, and coleslaw, but leave out that nasty dog!

Wow girl, you could write a book on what to pray doesn't happen after banding. Seems like if it's something bad that could happen, you've already been there and done that. Thank you for sharing your ordeal with all of us. You've certainly given us insite as to problems we could encounter and what to do in order to deal with it. As for the timely phone call, I don't know your doctor, but do you think it was a set up so you wouldn't expect a freebie? Sounds to me like an inside job, maybe from someone on his staff. Did they consider a different brand band? Are they all made from the exact same material? You've been such a martyr and inspiration to us all, I only hope that if my body rejects my band I can have half the courage you have shown. Good Luck!

Don't know about the hiccup, but congratulations on becoming a bandster.

Greg and Becky, you both look awesome and younger. I'm very happy for both of you.

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother, "Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane........" At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight." At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny start ed his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into t! he woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army." Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt.

Hang in there Brighteyes, it does get better! That's a lot of liquids, I only had to do 2 weeks of liquids before the mushies. It's amazing how all doctors have different instructions for the same little old band. I wish you the best.

Melissa, my condolances for the loss of your grandmother, as far as the pb thing, I don't have the experience, therefor, no advice. Good Luck.

Good luck and happy loosing! Hope all went well.

I guess I was lucky, my doctor told me anything that would go through a straw, so I used cream based soups. Good Luck

Gee Becky, I'm kind of feeling the same way. I'm loosing, slooooowly, but it's so much better than it was, and my appetite has changed for sure. I'm thinking about forgoing the entire fill thing myself. Ok 80 lbs in 31 weeks, how much are you loosing on average per week at this point without a fill?

Marie, I bet my snail is slower than your turtle.

Seppi, I think you should invite your gynocologist to go with you! When I told my gyn and my pcp, they were both excited for me and all for it. What does your gyn weigh, about 110, lol. As for going to the meeting, our meetings are held at the hospital, I noticed the other night a girl came down in a wheelchair. You'll probably feel ok to go, but the rest would do you better, your body's got a lot of adjusting and recooperating to do, just my opinion.

I'm so confused and undecided, after reading Darcy's post, I think I should wait before going back for another fill attempt. Please explain how it could possibly take 3 weeks for a fill to kick in. I definately don't want to be too tight. I've read where others had the same experience. It just seems if it goes in the band then it would be noticed immediately. I'm definately gonna insist my doctor do the flouro before he makes another "attempt". The fill may have hit and I just don't know it yet. I did my research for two years (Leatha) and thought I had this thing down Pat, (excuse the pun), but now I just don't know.... to fill or not to fill, that is the question.