juny

Oh boy do I have bad heartburn today...woooo. I have no one but myself to blame. I got bored and made brownies, yep I knew better and I did it anyway....like almost the whole pan of brownies, in about 13 hours. I'm not thrilled w/ myself but I'm not a wreck over it. I think it just frustrates me is all. I make pretty good choices during the week but my tendency on weekends is not so hot. They weren't that good either. Anyway onward and downward.

Fair warning: This is a long backstory type vent.
 
 
As the title explains, they'll be submitting this week to my insurance and eventually set me up with a date they think will be in January. I've lost about 34lbs in the pre-op during the visits. They coo and praise what I've accomplished. And I'm just not feeling it. I think it's because, oddly, weight-loss pre-op was not the goal, getting stuff done for the surgery was, this is insane, I know. I also look at it like it's verification that I can't really do this by myself. I mean if I lost say 50 lbs a year it would take me another 3 solid years to get all the weight I need off...barring any falling off the wagon...you know because that never happens....
 
I've got a bit going on in my life and it just feels like now I'm at the crossroads. I'm working full time, I've just come up on a year working for this company but I've only been hired as a permanent employee since April and I haven't taken a day off since. I'm also going to post graduate classes so I can sit for the CPA----note to self: get the freakin application form----. And I was going do some tax prep stuff for a seasonal place, just so I could keep up with tax updates, make a little extra money and get my family's taxes done. Ok.. now add vsg at some point in January and you can now see the problem of having too much to do in the space and time I have. Additionally I've only got 2 weeks of pto which will not actually be 2 weeks of pto because the pre-op classes and meetings are going to take the better part of a morning so...bye bye 8 hours of pto just in prep for this. I'm thinking the tax prep thing is going to have to go. And that about where I'm at the point of feeling the stress start to come into the back of my neck. It's just all getting to be a bit much.
 
I still desperately want the surgery. Its so important to me not to go through another year carrying a full grown person w/ me wherever I go. I dont think this forum is a place I need to explain the reasons or defend myself. But outside this place I feel extraordinarily defensive about the desire to have the surgery. My family is either in the dark or not supportive. I live at home w/ my parents right now because the job I have doesn't pay enough to be out on my own but the insurance covers the surgery. This is why I felt conditions were right for the surgery.
 
My dad has no idea, he had a stroke 7 years ago, he's mostly fine but his personality did a 180 degree change and he's no longer the parent that I can talk to but rather the parent that I try to avoid dealing with altogether. Long story short, he's a liar and he constantly needs someone to stroke the ego, the way a 5 year old shows youhow nice he made the bed. My mom knows I'm doing this but thinks it's drastic, thinks it not the right choice and why can't I just keep going to the nutritionist since I've already lost weight that way? When we talk about it she gets quiet because she doesn't like it. This wouldn't bother me if I didn't need her for my recovery. And if god forbid something goes wrong my mom is exactly the type that gives you the told you so look and lecture. Right... I can totally see me in agony w/ picc lines and leak tests her just looking at me like...see what did i tell you....
 
 
Why can't I just be happy that I've done everything to finally get the letter sent?
 
I just have a lot on my mind. I have a lot of decisions to make and it feels like I'm going to have to risk something.

So i saw my nutritionist on monday and the more i think about what she said the more irked i get. I'm not mad at her but she's all thin and been doing the right things forever. What stands out is that she said that going from 1800 calories is more mental than actual calories isn't it? yeah no...no it isn't. She doesn't get that I'd like a hamburger and can have a hamburger on 1800 calories but a portion of a hamburger will simply not fill me up on a 1500 calorie diet. hence i really did have to make more than a mental change. I mean the whole problem I have is that i'm hungry and am never full.
after the nutritionist, i saw the nurse. she proceeded to tell me that now that i've been on this diet 3 months i couldn't eat like i did before if i tried and i sat there thinking.. WANNA BET?
 
then the doctor, not the one who's doing surgery but someone they want me to see over the 6 month program, he tells me that i need to break the relationship that my mom and i have over food. her issue w/ this weightloss surgery is only important to her in so far as it doesn't kill me. That's it. So maybe I do and I'm too blind to see it but I guess I'm just not at this point.
 
overall i am pleased w/ my progress. 20lbs down in about 3 months of dieting. so yeah...the whole thing was weird.
I binged the day after the nutritionist. I don't know if I'd call it a binge. but it was everything i would have eaten on a given day that I was not on a diet. 2 cups of pasta and a great slice of cheesecake.i was screwing around w/ a single pound for a week and i was frustrated and i really did just want to feel full and satisfied again. I miss it. Even so. I lost a pound the next day even though I was 1000 calories over my limit.
 
Today was hard but I did keep myself on track and worked out and counted my calories and I'm on target. So onward and upward

I got the denial letter today from aetna. They said I couldn't prove that I was fat for 2 consecutive years. And I didn't meet the nutritional program guidelines that they require for six month. It's surprising that I'm disappointed. I knew it was probable, i read the terms of the health insurance when I got my new job. Still i was surprised that they think i wasn't fat for 2 years consecutively. I'm sure it will all get sorted, my nurses said they only sent the letter because the people on the phone couldn't figure out if my plan included wls coverage. Oh well. I worked out today even thought I didn't want to. It's so hot here, it's not supposed to be this hot til august!

I walked the dogs just now, noticed the mail on the washer on my way out. It was an envelope from aetna.....my letter of appeal has been approved. I'm so relieved.

I walked the dogs just now, noticed the mail on the washer on my way out. It was an envelope from aetna.....my letter of appeal has been approved. I'm so relieved.

I walked the dogs just now, noticed the mail on the washer on my way out. It was an envelope from aetna.....my letter of appeal has been approved. I'm so relieved.

Fair warning: This is a long backstory type vent.
 
 
As the title explains, they'll be submitting this week to my insurance and eventually set me up with a date they think will be in January. I've lost about 34lbs in the pre-op during the visits. They coo and praise what I've accomplished. And I'm just not feeling it. I think it's because, oddly, weight-loss pre-op was not the goal, getting stuff done for the surgery was, this is insane, I know. I also look at it like it's verification that I can't really do this by myself. I mean if I lost say 50 lbs a year it would take me another 3 solid years to get all the weight I need off...barring any falling off the wagon...you know because that never happens....
 
I've got a bit going on in my life and it just feels like now I'm at the crossroads. I'm working full time, I've just come up on a year working for this company but I've only been hired as a permanent employee since April and I haven't taken a day off since. I'm also going to post graduate classes so I can sit for the CPA----note to self: get the freakin application form----. And I was going do some tax prep stuff for a seasonal place, just so I could keep up with tax updates, make a little extra money and get my family's taxes done. Ok.. now add vsg at some point in January and you can now see the problem of having too much to do in the space and time I have. Additionally I've only got 2 weeks of pto which will not actually be 2 weeks of pto because the pre-op classes and meetings are going to take the better part of a morning so...bye bye 8 hours of pto just in prep for this. I'm thinking the tax prep thing is going to have to go. And that about where I'm at the point of feeling the stress start to come into the back of my neck. It's just all getting to be a bit much.
 
I still desperately want the surgery. Its so important to me not to go through another year carrying a full grown person w/ me wherever I go. I dont think this forum is a place I need to explain the reasons or defend myself. But outside this place I feel extraordinarily defensive about the desire to have the surgery. My family is either in the dark or not supportive. I live at home w/ my parents right now because the job I have doesn't pay enough to be out on my own but the insurance covers the surgery. This is why I felt conditions were right for the surgery.
 
My dad has no idea, he had a stroke 7 years ago, he's mostly fine but his personality did a 180 degree change and he's no longer the parent that I can talk to but rather the parent that I try to avoid dealing with altogether. Long story short, he's a liar and he constantly needs someone to stroke the ego, the way a 5 year old shows youhow nice he made the bed. My mom knows I'm doing this but thinks it's drastic, thinks it not the right choice and why can't I just keep going to the nutritionist since I've already lost weight that way? When we talk about it she gets quiet because she doesn't like it. This wouldn't bother me if I didn't need her for my recovery. And if god forbid something goes wrong my mom is exactly the type that gives you the told you so look and lecture. Right... I can totally see me in agony w/ picc lines and leak tests her just looking at me like...see what did i tell you....
 
 
Why can't I just be happy that I've done everything to finally get the letter sent?
 
I just have a lot on my mind. I have a lot of decisions to make and it feels like I'm going to have to risk something.

http://mygastricsleevelife.blogspot.com/2012/07/week-8-weight-pictures-and-measurements.html

Its official I'm one month out. I stepped on the scale. I am under 300 pounds for the first time in 8 years!!! i was 299. I lost 51 pounds in one month. Of course I live in the gym. Feels good! I have been having a hard time keeping down solids. I still have to revert to my liquid diet a lot. Much love to all my fellow sleevers. Also the Place where I got my sleeve done has asked me to be in some commercials for them. They have just recently started doing the sleeve a year ago they had in the past really pushed the lap band. So I don't know I haven't told but a couple of people about the my sleeve so I don't know. Anyways I can't believe I am under 300 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F@%# Yeah

I don't know how many people remember that song, from the late 60s early 70s era. I was about 5-6 years old when I remember belting those very words out at the top of my young lungs while riding shot-gun in my parents' green Plymouth with mom as we went for our weekly grocery shopping, gas the car up, pick up another case of Coke (in the refundable bottle) trip. Today, those words have a new meaning for me.
 
When I first met with my surgeon to set up this journey, he told me he did suggest 2 weeks off post surgery for recovery. I assured him I wouldn't need the two weeks as I do most of my work from the comfort of my home office. I am out and about making home visits a couple of days each week, but for the most part, it is on my time table. Sounds reasonable, right? So my plan was surgery on Wednesday, home on Thursday, recover/regroup Friday-Saturday-Sunday and back to work on Monday.
 
Well, we already know the home on Thursday part went down the drain........or rather, failed to go down the drain .
 
I'm adjustable, home on Friday.
 
Back to work on Monday.......except.....
 
Sunday, I noticed my right upper, arm (the area where many people have biceps - my 17 year old athlete demonstrates this to me frequently), was sore, tender to the touch, warm even, and maybe swollen. I do what every good nurse does and .......pretend it is not there.
 
Sunday night, when I would turn in the bed, my right arm would wake me with pain, not the belly incisions. So being the astute nurse that I am, I simply turn over without moving the bicep. No pain, problem solved!!
 
Monday morning, when I open my eyes my arm is SWOLLEN, RED and WARM and the mother HURTS LIKE HELL!!!...........plan B? don't ignore it and call the doctor.
 
I speak with the surgeon, who is leaving later Monday on vacation and he refers me to my primary care doctor for workup. Fine, no problem. I make an appointment, work till time to go, see her and her first question is "WHY HAVEN'T YOU GONE TO THE ER?" My answer......"have you seen who hangs out in the ER?"
 
So, after a stat ultrasound of the right arm, we have confirmed evidence of a clot in the vein, most likely related to the iv from the hospital. After a conference call between my PCP, surgeon, radiologist and self we set up a plan of care which involves me going home, doing NOTHING with the right arm, elevating it above my head, warm compresses, NSAIDS for blood thinning effects and anti-inflammatory benefits......."absolutely no work because you can't elevate your arm and sit at your computer"..and "CALL ME BACK IF IT GETS WORSE, BUT FOR SURE BY THURSDAY!" admonishment of my PCP - if she'd have wiggled her right index finger at me, I'd swear she was channeling my mother!
 
OK, I'm a big, tough RN and I wear my big girl panties with pride.....but, I must admit. After all this, and it was 102 degrees (not kidding) in Houston yesterday afternoon while I was out, this right arm throbbing with mere movement of my fingers and thumb......I had a 2 year old tantrum, fell into my husband's chest 5 minutes after he arrived home from a very stressful day of his own, cried like I had been beat and........stained his good blue shirt with my awesome, although not water proof, plumb mascara. Being the saint he is, he makes me some soup, administers my Lortab, and tucks me into bed beside him with my right arm elevated over my ears.
 
So, this morning........Tuesday, day 6 post op.......I'm outta bed, determined to be as compliant as I can with the arm elevation, heat, meds, etc., but still a little irritated as my plan to return to work was a no go........can't go back to work till Monday of next week......if everything goes well.
 
I'm sitting in the recliner, watching movies just like my PCP told me to do, when I feel this warm, gas pass urge in the lower regions. OK, I've not had a bowel movement since surgery, but I've been passing gas like the Hindenberg, so I wasn't worried...........this is more than gas. I quickly (remember, quickly is a relative word...we ain't talking FloJo quick here) get to the bathroom and basically.......my butt throws up every where. No pain, no warning........just vomit, out the butt. You get the picture.
 
And so did I.
 
God is in charge and will take care of absolutely everything in perfect timing. Had I had my way, I would have been in someone's home when the butt vomiting incident occurred. (If I was lucky, I would have been seated in my car- either way......gross) But let me tell you.........it would be hard to overcome that impression of a professional in your home who just stood (or sat) in front of you and "pooped her pantsies".
 
I exited my bathroom after the event to see my husband standing there (he'd come home on his lunch break to check on me. I told you, the man is a saint.) All I could say was "Thank You God For Blood Clots!!!"
 
The moral of the tale?
 
When a surgeon suggests it is appropriate to take 2 weeks off post surgery, take him up on it. You may recover and can physically get back to the game.........but you don't know what the effect of the change is gonna be.
 
Billy, don't be a hero, don't be a fool with your life (reputation).........take the time off from work.
 
And so, that is my tale for today. I've been at the key board now for a good 20 minutes, so time to go back, elevate, heat and ..............watch another movie!

So I've hit the 6 week mark on the diet and here I am not following through on my own plans. I've lost a bit of weight but for whatever reason, this weekend I've gone off the rails again. This is always where it happens. The weight stalls and I get sick of looking at my body fiddling around w/ the same 3 pounds for a few weeks. Skipped lunch. Didn't wait for dinner had a cup of oberweiss chocolate milk (its a regional thing, they come in the old glass bottles, hormone free, all the good stuff....) and ate half a pb&j (i made strawberry jam this weekend). I know I'm being ridiculous. I think this is the part where I once again realize I need this surgery to stop being famished. I also need to get myself back on track. ok...i think it's safe to turn off my vent now.

I can hardly believe that I had my surgery almost 29 hours ago now. I feel much better than I anticipated I would. My pain level immediatly after surgery was maybe a 6 and the nurse got it down to a 3 within minutes. Once I was back in the room the pain seemed to go down to a 2-3 and stayed there for a few hours then went down to a 1. As I sit here just 29 hours post OP I have to say my pain level is a ZERO!!! No regrets on the surgery so far. I have been drinking plenty of water (slowly) and have had Jello a couple of times, broth a couple of times, and popcicle. Can't wait to see the pounds drop.

Well. I got it. I got my surgery date. It's for June 27th. I'm so excited. That leaves 10 days before I have to start my pre-op diet which they require me to do 7 days prior and the day before surgery has to be clear liquids only with no red dyes.
 
I'm stoked. So I've been getting things ready. I ordered 9 sample packs from Unjury 3 each in the chocolate splendor, chicken soup and unflavored packets for $1.99 each so that was $17.91 plus S&H. Then I got a sampler kit of Syntrax Nectar packets. It comes with 11 packets in a variety of flavors including Apple Ecstasy, Cappucino, Caribbean Cooler, Chocolate truffle, Crystal Sky, Fuzzy Navel, Lemon Tea, Pink Grapefruit, Roadside Lemonade, Strawberry Kiwi, Strawberry Mousse, Twisted Cherry and Vanilla Bean Torte. It came to be the same price as the Unjury including S&H. I'm fairly impressed. I know I can find ways to like the taste of the majority of these flavors in some form or another.
 
So I have the protein taken care of, for now. I feel better about that. I have a few samples to try here at home to get use to that taste. I don't particularly like it. But I have another shopping list I need to take care of that consists of some soy milk and yogurt, various liquids that are not a thick form, like vitamin water, etc. I need to get some broth to water down or some no sodium bouillon cubes and some SF popsicles. Lots of people seem to have lived by those and maybe still do. They also said I can find no added sugar or low sugar preserve juice from Smucker's. I guess that's pretty neat. I will look at the nutrition facts and see about those. I loves me some juice!
 
Other than that I'm just trying to take it easy and get in any last bit of shopping I need to do directly before the next 10 days comes too fast. I have to overnight ship the last papers of the financing stuff. So once I can get that expensive crap taken care off I'll feel a lot better. Eric needs to get his side sent in, too. I just hope he can get it in with no problems.
 
References:
Unjury: http://www.unjury.com
Snytrax: http://www.bestprice...k-11-packs.html

Hey everyone this is my first blog, I totally forgot I even made a acount on here!
 
Anyways since I was last on here I was awaiting my first consultation with my surgeon, it was a long process but I finally was able to have surgery done November 17th!
 
My starting weight was 360, start of liquid diet 350, day of surgery 338 and currently 251lbs! I am very thankful to been able to have surgery and complication free
 
Here are some before and current pictures, Im along way from goal but pretty happy with my progress so far.
 

 

Before: 360 During:275 (Im down 25 more pounds since this was taken)
 

 
Oh yeah and if you go on the other forums: Obesity Help, Thinner Times my name is the same on all 3 so feel free to add me